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[Jul. 6th, 2011|09:53 am]
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There are two hard masses. Shows signs of Cancer. Chemo starts soon. surgery soon after. How. How did this happen. why did this happen. I was so smug i had my wonderful amazing healthy family. I had it all. I have the best mother ever I guess there has to be a price to pay. I don't know what any of this means I didn't pay attention in biology I have no idea I can't tell myself either way what to expect. So the worst. i am expecting the worst. Months...a year. I will get married in the fall. I will force myself to graduate. I will find a job. I will do everything expected of me so she knows I am going to be okay. I guess. I have had so many plans for myself I didn't take any of this into account. I will make another plan. Just one more. That's all I can do.
fuck
I shouldn't be posting about this, Maybe I am a bad person. |
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