You're never gonna find it if you're looking for it

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:30:41 GMT

My computer is in a coma! Is at the moment in Gånghester at a private Computer hospital. Hope Computer will wake up with memory intact.
Hospital had a very social dog, named Joakim.
Until it gets better, I have to use Parent's Computer, which is old and is a slow going thing who uses a walking stick.

In other news, tickets to Arvikafestivalen are bought (finally).
Think Pontus is a bit jealous that I get to see Opeth, pointed out to him that I asked a few month ago if he wanted to come too (which he did not).
And besides he gets his homestudio in a few days, he will be unavailable in about a week after that.
Speaking about that, I need to practice on Fairytale, plus I have planned to send my violin on a make-over trip, which probably take atleast a week, so that means less practice, damn.

Ok, on to playing some Carcassonne with mom. Then bed and work in the morning.

Now, keep your fingers crossed that Computer will do just fine and have full memory when it returns home from Hospital.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:39:54 GMT

I think the worst part is that I feel undeserving, that I do not deserve you, I should not feel like that, right? I think you have told me that some time, just in other words.
But the reason for this was not to tell you that part, it was to tell you ... some other things.

I am much more comfortable in my own body now (even if I do not agree to some things that you have told me). I have never liked my body much and that I still do not do. For me those are two different things.
My fear of getting older is almost gone, I did get little … age-anxiety? before my birthday, but it only lasted for some days. I still do not want to grow up, well, grow up more than I have to, in some aspects I do want to grow up. Before, this has really freaked me out.
For the first time in a long time, I am happy. Yeah, I still have my down-moments, just not as often as before and not as long periods. I am a happier person than I have been in a long time, probably since a few months before my twelfth birthday when I realised that I was getting older (after that, things went downhill).

You have changed me so much those past four months, probably without realising some of it. I doubt I have not noticed all the changes in me.

I do not think I can thank you enough, or that my word come out the way I want them to, but thank you for being wonderful person, for believing in me and for making me want to live again.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:17:25 GMT

Stupid infection in worse. Had to go to the emergency ward earlier today. Which meant no going to Linköping for me.
So am now taking medication for the second time this year, and I have not needed any medication since I was little. And now it is twice in about two month.
Definitly sucks, had looked forward to going to Linköping.

Time wasted waiting for Doctor #1 (in waiting room): 30 minutes.
Time ~~wasted~~ doing the test: 5 minutes.
Time wasted waiting for Doctor #2 (waiting for resut): 25 minutes.
Time ~~wasted~~ getting result: 5 minutes.
Time wasted getting medication #1 (Apoteket #1): 55-60 minutes.
Time wasted getting medication #2 (back at emergency ward, computer problems): 10 minutes.
Time wasted getting medication #3 (Apoteket #2): 5-10 minutes.

Took very short time in emergency ward, but to get medication? Usually it is the other way, hours to see doctor, minutes to get medication.

Happy Birthday?

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:30:19 GMT

Have come to the conclution that I should from now on always, always, be home for my birthday morning and/or make sure I am greeted in the morning for turing one year older.
For my whole life the Family have greeted me in the morning. Except two birthdays and it has happened something less fun those days.
Turning 16 I got dumped by boyfriend (less than two weeks after it had started and via sms).
(and today) Turning 22 I got urinary infection.
Yay? Or not.

The birthday present from Pontus was nice though:

Stage: One.
Next: Dudes.
Soon: Main.
Upcoming: Parts are needed for this project.
Last: End.
(also, a kiss at exact 01.06 a.m., the time I was born)

Yay! for Lego.

From Parents I have gotten an Ipod, a book, a cd and an album for my movietickets.

Saturday means going to Linköping and occupy Emelie and David's apartment. And going to Ikea, I think (if so, I will force a visit to a toystore close by)? Finishing with kidnapping Emelie and take her to Borås.

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:01:24 GMT

I think today is Meet Old Friends Day.
Walking home from work I met Snezana. When did I talk to her last time? We live across the street from eathother and I (almost) never see her (and when I do it is usully just enough time to say "Hi!").
On the way to voting I met Anna. Fucking Anna Järpfält, who I went to preschool with, and school. Though she is a year younger. So I have known her since I was two, except I have not seen her since ... nineth grade? So yea, about six years ago. Kind of did not recognize her at first.

I really do not like political votings. I am not interested in those things. ~~And they are boring.~~ And EU? Definitly not fond of that.

Life was much more simple when I was eight and went to Anna and played with Barbie.
Or Snezana came here and I played with her. Wait that may have been some years later.
Miss those times.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:23:46 GMT

Thursday to Sunday means first days in a long time that I have the house for myself, and I am working.
Fucking stupid.
Well, working three of those four days.
Still fucking stupid.
I have not worked one day since the beginning of May. Why now?
So again, fucking stupid.

Cats will probably go crazy. Atleast Morot. She/they are used to me being home most of the day, and when I am not, the Parents are.
Fucking stupid cat(s).

Yeah, Parents are going to Öland, forgot to mention that.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:53:54 GMT

Va fan? Slutsålt? Jag som hade kommit fram till att jag ~~antagligen~~ vill gå.

Konstert desperat igen, damnit.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:43:21 GMT

Was in Fristad with Pontus and watched State Of Drama two days ago. Have decided that I really like their music.

Now have the sheetnotes for Alexander Rybak's Fairytale, maybe will super-practise tomorrow. The little I know so far is fun to play.
I have a feeling that the recording will have to wait atleast a month (with much practise, otherwise, longer). I have not played two strings at the same time very often, so it is a whole new technique for me to learn.
That is the only Eurovision Song Contest song I have ever liked.

It is long since I listened to Mest's old stuff...

Fri, 29 May 2009 12:04:46 GMT

So, apparently Gerard Way is now a father. The daughter's name is Bandit Lee Way. Bandit? Yeah, whatever.

Source, and I agree with the Jesus part. That kid is not the next Jesus. Not God either.

Anyway, congratulations to the parents Gerard Way and Lindsey Ballato-Way.

Wed, 27 May 2009 18:50:06 GMT

My hair is gone!

Or maybe not. But mom just cut off about one decimeter, so now it is "short" again.

Will take some time to get used to.

Almost made her cut of much, as in (maybe) three decimeters. Did not go through with that one.

Fri, 22 May 2009 11:26:45 GMT

This is how you hold newborn boys, after you have stoped freaking out about holding a twelve days old little baby.

Rafael is really cute, don´t you think?

Thu, 21 May 2009 10:26:55 GMT

This is how you wrap presents for newborn boys.

Wed, 20 May 2009 21:45:12 GMT

My lip hurts when I laugh.
The swelling has not disapeard yet (damn), though it is almost not visible anymore, but I feel it.
And the mouthwash I got taste terrible.

But other than that I am happy about the new ~~weird~~ metal in my lip.

Tue, 19 May 2009 20:11:00 GMT

Why are (almost) everyone against symmetric piercings?
Have heard three voices agains it, though all of them have added that different kind of jewelry takes some of the symmetry away.
And I think the fourth voice was not a voice, only a shake of the head (atleast something quiet).
A fifth voice said "Usch".
Only one voice have been symmetric-piercings-positive the whole time (not counting me).

Bob has a new friend, C-3PO.

Fri, 15 May 2009 18:21:43 GMT

Anyone got a good idea on how to make a cat stop snoring?

...

Wait, she is quiet now ... kinda.

Fri, 15 May 2009 10:11:19 GMT

Morot is sceptical towards my pants. They smell wrong, according to her.
~~Not~~ my fault they spent the night at Pontus' place.

Sun, 10 May 2009 17:06:52 GMT

So, the cousin Elin gave birth to a little boy earlier today. Two weeks late.

The Linnemarch was this weekend. Me, mom, Annika, Bodil, Sven-Erik (who Bodil is going out with now adays) and one of mom and Annika's fellow-worker (Anne-Mi?) went the 21 km track yesterday. The last three or four kilometers I had so much energy I ran some and jumped and was somewhat crazy at times. Where did that energy come from? My legs do not even hurt today, thought they would.
It was definitly a fun experience (and also we got a medal each, something everyone got).

Sun, 03 May 2009 18:51:59 GMT

So, Friday this week meant us (eh, Dad) grilling meat for the first time this year. Finally, miss that during winter (except wasps always being closeby while eating outside, too early for them now, though). Morot guarded the grilling, while Morris was nowhere to be seen, as usual.
Pontus ate with us, which Morot did her own protesting about, no one listened to her: At first it looked like she was going to lay down in Pontus' lap (which is something she never does, with anybody), but it turned out she tried to claim the chair has hers by pushing him off, did not work. When Pontus (finally, according to Morot) left said chair, she was there in seconds to take it back.
The next morning Morot was confused, because I was not home, lying in my bed.
She does not like changes.

She was not like this towards David, when he showed up.

Stupid cat.

Sat, 02 May 2009 09:02:48 GMT

This week has been weird:
Tuesday felt like Saturday,
Thursday felt like Friday
and Friday felt like Saturday.

Have not worked one day this week. Have not been that little to do since February.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:58:09 GMT

I think I will dub April 27th 2009 to the Worse Day Of This Year (so far).

When I walked home from my violinlesson I saw a cat getting hit by a car, like really saw it roll under the car and wheels and hearing the bang, sawing it twitching after being hit and being desperate to escape ... so, yeah, still a bit shaken about it.
Me and the driver went to check on it after it had half run, half strumbled of the street and into a garden (still do not undrstande how it managed to, adrenaline?). Then I went look for the owners, found them pretty soon and the father in the house followed me to the cat.
I do not know if Cat will survive, but it was taken to the veterinary by Owners.

Morot is safely sleeping beside me and last time (a few minutes ago) I saw Morris, she was sleeping in the living room.

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:25:22 GMT

Um, "yay"? Green Day is a great liveband, they mixed new and old songs during 2005's American Idiot tour, but their new CD? I have only heard one song, a singel at that, from New Album so it is probably too soon to judge, but still... As written in earlier post, to much like American Idiot CD.
Morris was missing for maybe 24 hours, she went out Saturday evening and came home again Sunday evening. Was worried.

On to a "yay!"

Was supposed to arrive in Grebbestad a few minutes past one. But train to Tanum had a technical problem and stood still for about 20 minutes, the train's staff promised that the bus from Tanum to Grebbestad would wait. It did not. So me and Diana (who went to the school last year too) decided to walk. Then why not hitchhike the rest of the way? made its way into my head and stayed, and after walking for maybe five minutes a woman picked us up, thank you ~~a million times~~.

The Gymnasium.
They had done this part much better than last year. It was more airy and the different classes were not separated into one corner each. It did not feel like they had tried to get as much in there as possible.

Interesting...

All stuff on the table are made by students from last year, on their second year of Furniture class.

Sewing classroom.
They have new tables (second picture) for the sewing machines. Why did we not get those? Unfair.
They had about the same assignment as we did, but the clothes were so different from last year. It is interesting to see how different people think when designing clothes.

Weaving classroom.
Here much had not changed, except the weaved stuff.
I suddenly felt at home.

Look, it is Morot!
I did a weaving of this picture last year, at first it was said that original picture was supposed to be beside it for the Exhabition, but that changed (after it was printed), the printing dissapeared. Then, according to Margareta, this was found sometime last week and was put on the wall.

I met some from my old class (Frida E, Frida B and Tofva), both old teachers Margareta and Maria, and some other old (and present second-year) students. It was fun to talk to those people again and see what they are doing now.
Being back at this school almost felt like coming home.

Now, visit Badirf and buy some children clothes or why not "Återvinningsgosingar", all made by Frida B.

The bus home was uneventfull. If you do not count seeing smoke from a forestfire.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 20:42:54 GMT

Am off to Grebbestad for a visit tomorrow. It is the Exhibition (or "Open House" as they call it).
Will spend about eight hours on trains/buses and three hours in Grebbestad. What is wrong with me?

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:10:54 GMT

So, let´s help with the spaming.

Yes, me really likes.

Heard Green Day´s new song on the radio a few days ago. Am very disapointed, sounded so much like the American Idiot album.

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 14:00:25 GMT

Took the last of my medication two days ago, thank you. They tasted terribly.

Yesterday I spent three hours watching Stargate Atlantis, while trying to get in a better mood. Did not work.

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:09:56 GMT

So, yeah, almost looks the way I had planned, so am proud (kind of?).