_beetle_: - I need ANGST!!!!!!!!

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06 July 2006 @ 05:58 pm

I need ANGST!!!!!!!!

I am depressed (of course).

I've been all happy about being able to go to WriterCon because at last, I have a job that pays enough for me to afford going.

Unfortunately, trying to get those days off--even six weeks in advance--is like banging my head against a brick wall.

Until yesterday, I was in a rotten mood about it.

Things are, however, looking up. I think I've made some headway. The guy in charge of scheduling said he'd look into it, even though HR rejected my request for time off.

Also? I got my schedule changed. Monday, Thursday and Friday, I work from 1:30-10pm, much better than 3:30-12am.

But I still need a pick me up. It's favor-time, flisties, and neighbors.

Can someone write me some Spander?

Whether it's a drabble or novel length, I don't care, just as long as it's angsty and kinda sad. Happy endings are fine as long as there's some suffering before it.

Hell, if you don't got any Spander in you, any pairing/fandom'll do, even if it's het or gen, I just want some emo! Preferably inspired by these lyrics.

And for any flisties out there who haven't written any fanfic, but who I've badgered repeatedly about writing some fanfic--I'm so insanely easy to please. All I need is angst. So if you wanna make your bones on an easy mark. . . .

*points to self*
Right here, baby.

You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you
Your menstruating heart,
It ain't bleeding enough for two.

Tags: begging for fic

Scene: partsearch

Theme:

down

Music By: call center

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altyronsmaker on July 7th, 2006 03:03 am (UTC)
NOt a huge fan of Faith No More....

but don't say I never do what ya tell me....

What Kind of Man

Spike stood to the side, watching as Xander, alone, tossed the first clump of dirt on the old man. "Pet?"

"Ya know? I hated him. Really. No, that's not true. I didn't feel anything for him. He was just this big lumbering presence in the house. To be ignored, feared - avoided at all costs. Now, he's just a lump of flesh in the dirt. From dust to dust, I guess, eh, Spike?" Xander sniffed and Spike watched a tear track the smooth, chill-flushed cheek.

"Luv, he's gone. Can't hurt you anymore, ya know." Spike laid a hand on Xander's back, feeling the hitching breath that expanded his love's chest. "Now he's just someone to forget."

"Nope. He's still someone to avoid. I am him. Or could be. 'S why I left Anya. Why I was alone for so long. Why I finally came to you. You," Xander turned and his one eyeflickered back and forth between Spike's two blue ones, "can protect yourself from me. When the time comes, and I'm hurt, irritated, and just plain fed up, I know you won't let me hurt you."

Spike was stunned. They'd lived through so much. The Hellmouth being closed with Buffy's death, Anya's death. Willow, Dawn, Giles, and the rest of the gang leaving them. But here was Xander, pulling the rug out from under Spike's feet. "You picked me because you can't hurt me?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, it was the first reason. But now, there's so much more."

"No. It wasn't my - god I sound like a ponce, you bastard - heart, but my strength. You didn't want me! You wanted my strength." He stumbled backwards, away from Xander and that pleading liquid brown eye. "You didn't want me." Spike squinted angry eyes at him. "That makes you a whore, Xander. You laid down for me, for my cock, for protection. You son of a bitch."

"Spike, no!" Xander held out a hand, begging for Spike to understand. "I love you!"

"Oh really?" He tilted his head, lips pursed, tight with pain. "Too late, Xander." He pointed at the mound of dirt that covered the shiny pine casket. "You're already him. There's nothing you could have done that would hurt worse than this."

Tears flowed down Xander's face, free and chilly, burning his chapped face. "Spike, please! You know that's not true anymore! It's you! All of you!"

"No. You're still afraid; you said so. You're still lookin' for that protection, luv," the sarcasm dripped off his tongue. "I suggest you find it elsewhere." He turned away from the grave, away from Xander.

"Spike?"

Spike paused, pulled his smokes from his coat pocket - not the duster, it was long gone - and lit one. Turning to Xander, he said, "Don't you know the only person what could keep you from being him was you? I trusted you; too bad you didn't." He shrugged and as the fog of the night descended, Spike disappeared into it, leaving Xander cold and alone, hovering over the grave of the wrong kind of man.

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_beetle_ on July 7th, 2006 04:04 am (UTC)
Re: NOt a huge fan of Faith No More....

Spike paused, pulled his smokes from his coat pocket - not the duster, it was long gone - and lit one. Turning to Xander, he said, "Don't you know the only person what could keep you from being him was you? I trusted you; too bad you didn't." He shrugged and as the fog of the night descended, Spike disappeared into it, leaving Xander cold and alone, hovering over the grave of the wrong kind of man.

Jeebus!

And ouch! Powerful and painful.

"Nope. He's still someone to avoid. I am him. Or could be. 'S why I left Anya. Why I was alone for so long. Why I finally came to you. You," Xander turned and his one eyeflickered back and forth between Spike's two blue ones, "can protect yourself from me. When the time comes, and I'm hurt, irritated, and just plain fed up, I know you won't let me hurt you."

And doesn't Spike know by now that Xander always puts his foot in his mouth? That that was his zeppo way of saying I love you?

Argh!

See, when you write fic like this, you can't just leave it there! If you do, you're a mean old poopy-head!
*bounces*
*waits for more*
*but not patiently*