my new username is speakerph0ne, add that shit bitches, i'm not adding anyone first cos i dont feel like it. whoever wants to read go for it.

you know what?

im gonna get a new livejournal. start over. i feel newish.

uh, comment me or aim me for it if anyone even still reads this. ill probably just add everyone and no one will remember who i am.

i changed alot.

not on purpose.

shit happens.




i don't even know what to say.
let's say i'm happy.

working at billiards isn't so bad. it just drains my energy like mad. i need quick chek extreme coffee. i'm making alot of new friends and i have money. it feels so fucking good to have a job, i feel so.. accomplished. i'm doing something. i'm cleaning my room. and hopefully i can keep up with school in all of this. my sleep schedule is fucked but it was in the first place.. so it's cool. i going shopping on friday, maybe. yesterday was a total steve fest for tj and i. i have to pee really bad, bye.

extravagant.......

yep.

oh so uh, clap for me, i have a job!

billiards.












lololololololololololololololol

so i fucked up. put off all my school work like the lazy pothead i am. i told myself at the beginning of the summer that i'd leave myself with enough time to do all this. yeah, okay. the last day of august is always so upsetting. it's not like i even go to real school... wow, this will be my first september not starting actually school. speaking of which, i better go re-register at old bridge soon before i don't even have a school to go to.

so i've been dreaming again lately. the other day i had a weird one though. we were all in a car on like a road trip, and for some reason TJ just kinda disappeared. i spent the whole rest of the dream looking for him too.

then, the dream i just woke up from, i had a new apartment. it was weird.. all the land in my area was seperated so differently, my apartment was right by my real house but everything was in different places. so i'm coming out of college (no idea what college i was in) and i walk out, the first thing i see is RONNIE standing at the door. nobody really knows who ronnie is. basically, a father figure from a couple years ago, a pastor at the church i used to go to. a very very close friend who i havn't seen in years since he went to harlem. this is out of no where, ronnie standing in front of me. and for some reason, i flip. my heart starts pounding, i gasp and drop my shit and just bolt. and i keep bolting and i don't know how but i ended up at dunkin donuts. and then i ended up in my apartment, where apparently bobby lives with me now. (bobby is from billiards, those of you who know him will find that rather weird) and it wasn't even really apartment-like. inside it was but from what i remember it was sort of a tent on the outside. i had a weird phone too. the phone was like a big part of the dream. so i see ronnie riding a bike trying to catch me and i think i met up with him but i can't remember anymore.

and everytime i wake up these dreams seem so realistic, and i'm so convinced they're preminitions... i really wouldn't mind seeing ronnie. i'm so much different now.. a completely different person than he knew. it would be nice to see him again after this long while but i know he would preach to me.. i couldn't lie to him about who i am, and obviously who i am i "need god" desperately. i don't want god or any more salvation, religion is not for me anymore.. i know he'd try to pull me back into it and i don't want that. he has no idea..

i don't know what this dream could mean, maybe he's gonna call me? show up somewhere that i am? or maybe i'm gonna get shitfaced and get dumped right in harlem to find him. who fucking knows, my life is crazy as it is.


so yeah i fucked up school yet again and i can't believe i have to start soon. i've been playing brain age alot on the ds, i wish i had a ds soooo baddddd. jesse borrowed it from heather. want want wanttttt

so maybe i'll hang out with steve today, who knows whats going on.

btw, i love all my basking ridge kids, last night was fun.

just got home to find my beloved turtle resting in silence.

turtle.... i found him in a cup in chinatown, nyc. i loved him so much.. when we first got him he was so hyper, always crawling all over me and swimming around his tank. he never ate. he had only started eating about 2 months after we had him. he was a sick turtle... he was traumatized from the subways & bus ride home from ny. we were surprised he even lived this long. he got worse over time. he ate but it just wasn't enough. and today i came home, i picked him up and he was all sorts of..well... not moving.

he rests under his beloved coconut for tonight, lights off, towel over tank. he'll have a proper funeral tomorrow afternoon.

if anyone liked my turtle that much call me up to keep me company. i'm pretty upset over this...


R. I. P turtle<3 forever in my heart...

04/07/06- 8/14/06

i don't really know what to say about most things right now.

i'm at billiards.. where else would i be?

so much unnecessary shit happened this week. it's all over now, thank fucking christ.
let's just say it was a war between me & jeremy + tj and victoria. kinda.

so thursday i took a trip up to sayville, in long island, to see max & sal. my first time taking the train farther than union. it was amazing.. i felt really free that i could just get on a train and end up that far away from home. took almost 3 hours to get there but it was well worth it. i missed my salamander. things are great up there... i need to get away and go back soon.


some things really make me wanna ram my fucking head through walls. like you.

HOLY SHIT LADY DO I FUCKING SOUND LIKE I'M ORDERING PIZZA?


hah, nobody will ever know. fuck you.

hi livejournal people :D
i'm updating from billiards right now. this is my first wi fi connection that actually went through since like, forever. jai finally fixed it. i'm stuck here all day because i decided to come to work with jesse (again). and by all day i mean 11:30 - 2 am D=


so, a few things:
i'm enjoying life to the fullest for the first time ever
i like to draw now
all i do is play pool
i dyed my hair black with soon to come purple highlights :D
i miss my chef =( get well soon trancer

FREE KEV!

so i fucked up my finger hxc today. car door = FUCK!

it turned out to be an okay night besides the fact that i was stuck in a hospital for 2 hours for a pill of ibuprofen and a splint. and sucking at pool.



steve ♥