Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in _bazilisk_'s LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
4:16 pm	I hate having to keep secrets. They are so hard to keep inside. Fuck Damn it.I hate drama. Right now, I am really, really happy, so don't you worry, but I STILL hate having to keep secrets. Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: TV on the Radio (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
12:46 pm	One-Way Paths The first thing is where you start, and the second is where you go, and the transition from one to two is infinitely more easy than the transition from two to one. science major-English major college student-college drop out nonsmoker-smoker light drug user-drug addict (the only option, really, is back to no drug use at all) romantic-cynic living-dead normal citizen-criminal well off-broke normal weight-over weight friends-friends with benefits a little crazy-batshit Current Mood: busy Current Music: Stereolab (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
3:59 pm	God Damn it, This Wall Street Shit is Hilarious So we're ("we" as in "The West," I don't own a single stock, etc) making imaginary structures to deal with the fact that we all got fucked, suddenly, because we all put too much faith in imaginary money. Jesus Christ, the fed and big-time investorts may as well be a bunch of RPG freaks. I am so amused by this shit. They are floating above everything like it doesn't exist, and creating rules and saviors out of the mist of words and suit-appointments. And not fixing a single damn problem, the problem was a detachment from reality in the first place, here they are creating a whole new fantasy. AP Story here. "NEW YORK - Wall Street had a stunning late-session turnaround Thursday, shooting higher and hurtling the Dow Jones industrials up more than 400 points after a report that the federal government may create an entity that will take over banks' bad debt. ADVERTISEMENT The report on CNBC said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is considering the formation of an entity like the Resolution Trust Corp. that was set up after the failure of savings and loan banks in the 1980s. Investors were cheered by the notion of a huge federal intervention like the establishment of RTC to acquire the real estate debt that has hobbled financial institutions and led to the intense volatility in the markets this week. If there's an RTC-like entity, "it's going to take a lot of the bad debt off the balance sheets of these companies," said Scott Fullman, director of derivatives investment strategy for WJB Capital Group in New York. That would alleviate many of the pressures causing the credit crisis, he said, and open up the credit markets again. But Fullman noted, "the devil's in the details." "Bear markets are very sensitive to news. And on a scale of 1 to 10, this one is a 13," he said." Bear markets are sensitive to news because they are built on nothing but crazy-ass delusions. Christ in a can, this is terribly funny. Current Mood: impressed Current Music: Modest Mouse- We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
2:29 pm	Death Post 1 of 3 Using this livejournal was incredibly helpful throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. I have a great affection for it, and I keep track of many of my friends with it. But, as of this weekend, it will die, since it has frankly been outgrown. I am moving to Goneonzine at Blogspot which will also be somewhat navelgazey, but in a briefer way, and will be focused more on being funny, entertaining, relatable, and pop-culture-linky. Maybe it will be...half pop culture linky, yeah. That sounds like a good rule. It is an accessory to my massive every two weeks zine project GONEON, so it is more designed for a marketing/networking chance to show off my writing stuff than a way to totally express everything I am feeling. I will use a personal diary for that for now on, and maybe my deviantart journal. It is updated every day, and briefly. The second post of this series will explain why, exactly, I have outgrown this format. The third will say a final goodbye, and tell you how you can still easily follow me on your LJ friendslist. Current Mood: Growing Like a Beansprout (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:22 am	Occam's Razor vs. my Gender Alright, so I know that concept by now, intelectually, now all I have to do is apply it, emotionally. Stupid fucking emotions never respond to logic. This is the struggle of my internal life. This makes me wish I was a man. Is it any better for men? Is it hormones, conditioning, or tradition for women to be so controlled by these waves of nonsense? Is it just me? No, I know this is not just me.      ... Comments on gender's relation to how fucking emotional one's life is? Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
9:35 pm	My social problem: boys are better. Almost all of my favorite people are male. When I was a kid, this was totally cool. But as an adult, sex, desire, crushes, insinuations, paranoia- they all step in, ugly. I hate the situation of hanging out with one guy by themselves and being seen as a potential physical partner when, really, I wish they thought I had a dick so they wouldn't want to jump me. I should cross dress more often or... hang out with more gay guys? But I meet few gay guys, for some reason. Or I could become lesbian! Or married! Or just deal with this part of my social quirkishness. And maybe learn how to get along with feminine women (almost all my female friends are macho/genderqueer/weird.) Sigh, childhood was so much simpler. "Just friends" wasn't taken as an insult back then. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: NIN- Downward Spiral (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
5:45 pm	Observation. Industrial music is best enjoyed REALLY LOUD. Pictures to follow. -S Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Skinny Puppy- The Process (2 Comments |Comment on this)
11:30 am	Calm now. Time to become an asshole editor. Nola's fine. So is my friend. Thank "Bob," god, planning, gasoline and common sense. Now I have to work on taking over a media entity. Wish me luck! Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 30th, 2008
3:57 pm	A friend's fleeing Gustav In case you didn't know, another Katrina's heading for New Orleans. I have a friend down there who is now fleeing, and I can't stop worrying about his wellbeing and the wellbeing of that already fucked-up city. I am trying not to worry. What good does worrying do? Nothing. But I can't help it. This is part of getting used to the existence of chaos. I do not know what will happen to that city. I do not know what will happen to my friend. (Will his university be destroyed, and he'll be forced to move back to the northern state he comes from? Will he end up somewhere in the South, totally broke, stuck there? Will everything be completely back to normal in a week, school started up again, apartment not flooded? Will FEMA come through, will the levees HOLD?) That lack of knowledge, with my current obsession with knowing things/controlling things, does not make sense. So I have to stop wanting to know everything, since some things can't be known. Some things just can't be known, and wishing they were and trying to find out won't make it so. Only time will tell. I have to distract myself with other things right now. Focus on the fact that I am totally safe in this city. (Which of course isn't true.) I have to get used to danger and not play the "oh my god we're all going to die" tape in my head whenever a large disaster strikes a friend or myself, since these will probably be happening more and more often as global warming continues to show itself. I need to develop 21st-century nerves, not surprised by real-life monsters. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Aberfeldy (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 28th, 2008
3:07 pm	Paper-n-Ink Comix Zine For Free: Just Reply Here. Hey, everyone, I decided I was too lazy, so I started to force myself to do creative things on a schedule. So now I am making a 16-page quarter-page-sized-minicomic every two weeks. First issue goes out 8 days from now. It is almost all comics. Some pages are all-text, but not in a "aaagh reading my brain" way, in a bumper sticker way. I promise: no fiction, prose, reviews, journalism, or essays. Mostly black and white drawings. It is decent quality humor. It is FREE! If it sucks, add it to your minicomix collection as an example of crap, or put it in the recycling bin with last week's NY Times. If it's funny, you'll enjoy it. I promise. Anyway, you don't even have to pay shipping, because I am bored, and amused by that 'zine' thing they used to do in the 90's. I know The Internet is where comix is at now, but I like using real-life paper as a marketing/artistic tool, as well. Shits n giggles and all that. HOW TO SUBSCRIBE: Reply on this thread with your mailing address (if it's something not scary like a PO box) or just email me your mailing address at sylkates at the yahoo' shiggity dot coms.You will then get the first issue and subsequent issues forever and ever and ever, for no monies. First one going out on Friday the 6th. Even if I see you in real life often, I want to do this through the mail, since it's simplest. Thanks, and have a genuinely good day, Rev. Baz Otherwise AKA Sylvia Zinestress, SakCoPaperworks Editor-in-Chief GONEON! Paperzine Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: NIN (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
12:49 pm	Week of Awesome Sat night- Dances of Vice, a festival about dressing in 19th century costume Sunday all day- hanging out with A+A and company, on the Jersey shore, tonnes of fun Monday--er,,, Tuesday- meeting comics folks with this dude Ken. There is a woman who is the Graphics Novels Librarian at Columbia U. HOW COOL IS THAT?? Wed- tonight- seeing NIN live, HOORAH!!! Thur- Seeing The Shining with Jess + co Fri- Seeing MOMA with Mike Sat- UNPLANNED!!! Awesomeness. Laundry, prolly. Every day- working on 3 pages of a 16 page minicomic to be published every 2 weeks. Every day- enjoying company, knowing things, making things. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Midnight Juggernauts (Comment on this)
Monday, August 25th, 2008
5:19 pm	A Personal Prayer Chaos of the Universe, Please, grant me the wisdom to not mistake fear for wise caution. Please, grant me the luck to not mistake possibilities for promise, to not confuse the heart with the nerves. Please, give me the patience and the smarts to put up with the negative aspects of things that are, all in all, awesome, and tons better than the alternatives. I know you can't grant this, unless it fits into your mondrianpollock schedule for how things should go. I might have to bend some of the borders of those paintsquares myself, so what am I doing here, begging you? Jackass. Really, chaos, when you're not being a puppydog and throwing incredible parties and amazing friends into my lap, you're a real asshole. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Radiohead- Weird Fishes (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 22nd, 2008
3:09 am	Best Birthday Evar. The Event: Amazing time, awesome people met, Cory Doctorow and DJ Spooky both eloquent and important, incredible DJ set, amusingness abounding. The Presents: The best birthday presents I got this year were ones that cost $0 for the senders to create.Especially one present that was purely digital in medium, that I can't begin to thank the sender for. But, thank you, wherever you are, if you ever read this. Current Mood: rejuvenated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 18th, 2008
6:45 pm	Who are these people? Are they flesh? Did they pass the captcha? Why do they want me to listen to their horrible music? Are they really that vivid, because I sense oversaturation, in one direction or the other. Why must they live so far away? Where's the locals? I walk out, there they are! Eating food, driving cars, making kids and going to church. I come back inside and stare at jpg's of my mental family. They could be hackers faking. They could be programs, advanced Eliza algorithms. I make a date to meet up. In person, in meatspace, and we're real. We're breathing, laughing, eating, talking about never having kids and avoiding steeples. This lasts some hours. Then I go back to my apartment, lonely. Why can't I take all the people I care about and convince them to move to this neighborhood? We could meet up every night for coffee, every weekend for beer. We could work on wall murals of dada nonsense together. We could develop new crushes and share some rent costs. We could teach eachother programming, drawing, fixing bikes. In time, maybe. In time. But who are these links, posting ads for iPhones? They talk in ringtones. They think in eyeballs. I avoid them, leaving them sitting, unrejected, unclaimed, orphans of canned pink meat. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Venus Hum (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 17th, 2008
5:56 pm	Flyover Country Glad I spent a decade of my childhood in Ohio. Moved the border of civilization to the West slightly. Anything West of Michigan or South of the Ohio river, though, forget about it... I need to travel more and live in more cities, because, god that's close-minded. Options I am considering: Chicago, DC, CO, MN, WA... Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Friday, August 15th, 2008
10:11 pm	What do you call this? Stay with me here, people further to the left than Adbusters. I know these are all obvious complaints. But they still bother me personally. There was a reason I worked for the DNC for a summer and a half: I am very skeptical of mainstream politics but I try to be reasonable. I try to use the tools in front of me, including the mainstream ones, like supporting Democrats. I feel like crazy progressives like me have more of a chance of being listened to with a Democrat in the seat of power. But I can't stand media coverage of the campaign. It sickens me. It's turned me off from news in general. I've become a journalism-hating hermit this summer. I'm reading Time Magazine simply because it's the most efficient way to catch up on all the things I've been missing, as long as I skip the election articles. And because Joel Stein is actually funny. What do you call this disgusting process that will be chunking away like half-assed clockwork in November? It can't be called a democracy anymore once smear campaigns, utter lies, lack of citizen voting registration and lack of registered voter participation combine to turn pretty much all the elections in my lifetime into utter nonsense masquerading as an election. So what should it be called? (Oh, and don't forget the fact that Diebold machines are entirely free from the scrutiny that paper ballots allow. By some mysteriously, magically antidemocratic law or another. How the FUCK was nobody paying attention when that happened? What? Huh?) Any suggestions for what we call this mutant, media-saturated, lowest-common-denominator-run mockery of a political system? And don't say Idiocracy, that's already taken, and that's...sigh...that's supposed to be in the FUTURE, not NOW... Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: Ministry- Cannibal Song (Comment on this)
2:22 am	Photosummary of Past Week David Byrne's "Playing the Building" Governor's Island Jersey City, Site of the Infamous Barbeque God, I Fucking Hate These Things. When Will They be Gone? The Outdoor Movie got Rained out, but the City was Beautiful in the Storm... Through Some Miracle, we Found That Vietnamese Restaurant... Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
2:17 am	Current Obsessions Victorian Men's Clothing Making Things Free Movies Free Concerts New, Loud Music (New to me.) Current Music: Ministry (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
11:07 am	This is a good summer. It has everything to do with everyone I know who is awesome and this internship and my living situation and THIS EVENT, on my BIRTHDAY. Which I am going to. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Rough Trade Indiepop 1 (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 10th, 2008
11:46 am	Well-Reasoned Madness. There's someone I'm supposed to be waiting until next June for (who I have pretty much lost interest in,) and someone else I am supposed to wait until two years from now for. Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell? Good things take time? Or people are insane? Or dealing with the explosive nature of sillyromance leads people to make insane plans? That can't be said to be either realistic or unrealistic, much like that damned boxed cat? That makes the most sense. I am just frustrated by needing to have this foreign thing called "patience," and still adjusting to the needed new comfort with "chaos" which is still terrifying to me. I needed to adjust sooner or later, I guess... Don't mind the growing pains, and here, listen to this great track about a British man's Colonialism guilt! With really cool chanting, nifty keyboard effects and a catchy rhythm! Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Eels- Daisy Through Concrete (Comment on this)