& when the flowers grow, just know you're still in my heart

i've moved ...

2007-03-03T04:41:31Z

my new address is ...

http://bekahlikewhoa.blogspot.com/

december love.

2006-12-04T02:53:46Z

I remember the days when I tried not to write in my lj more than once a day and now I barely have the energy or time to update once a month!

Things are moving right along.

School is good & I can't wait til' it's all over! I say that not because I am not enjoying myself, but I am starting to wear thin on always been out and about. I am ready to have a day off and not do a damn thing! Soon, soon! I am "scheduled" to graduate at the end of January and I will be heading home to Texas for some good ol' r&r and quality time with the family!

Working at BBW is starting to wear me out too. I love my girls and my store but I just feel like I am putting all this work in for nothing. A couple of events have taken place that make me feel that moving on is the right thing and finding something that I really want to do is my goal right now. I know and understand that it won't happen over night and it might take a few tries but I totally up for the challenge. Bring it on, world!

It's starting to feel like scarf weather and I am so excited! Nothin' is better than rosy cheeks, holding hands, and wear my scarves!

One day I'll have a very clever and vague journal. a work in progress.

hey mister dj!

2006-10-19T03:16:03Z

Holy Smokes! It's been a while!

Things are good, nothing more than the usual dramarama that goes on.

School is awesome! I can't believe that I am going to be a senior in like 3 weeks! No more white! But yeah, school is great. I can't wait to give everyone facials.!

BBW is going good too. I am now a part-time manager, which is nice because it's alittle extra money. Alot of people have left and we have some new people coming in, which makes me nervous because I have but in alot of hard work and I don't wanna lose it all. So, we'll see what happens and hope for the best : )

My Dad finally got a job about 2 weeks ago! Praise God! I can tell already that things are getting better, my Mama sounds so much more relieved and happy. My Dad is happy also and enjoying what he is doing. Thank you Jesus!

Pete and I are doing wonderful. It's hard because we hardly see each other, between school and work, things are just tight. But it's only for a short time and we are pushing foward !

How's that for an update?! I love my lj and I check it everday, I just don't always get the chance to update. So, nitenite for now xoxo.!

desire is only a fling

2006-09-02T04:11:45Z

It's been awhile.

School starts on Tuesday & I can't wait to get this show on the road!

Hard to believe that the summer is over, but the fall is just upon us.

Loneliness has taken a back seat to taking care of family & making new friends.

Things are always changing, and I find when I am in the mood to type
something it's because I feel like I have changed, and that I am
embarking on a new challange. But I am starting to realize that this is
just life and life moving foward. I believe & have faith that this
is how it is suppose to be, and its funny how you find that you enjoy
your life when you're happy to be alive.

nothin' i ever do is right

2006-08-04T01:54:27Z

I am lonely.

I miss Texas. never thought I would say that.

hope is all i got

2006-07-13T01:44:08Z

Ok, so it's been a while since I last said anything but I suppose nothing really amazing has been going on and time has really just flown by.

I am really craving good friendships right now. Since I am not nannying anymore I have more of a normal schedule and I am starting to feel the effects of not really having a "social" life. Pete & I do pretty much everything together, it's amazing that we don't wipe each others asses, but I suppose in time that will come! ( just kidding, I hope : ) It's one of the things I love about our relationship, we like to spend most of are time together, but there is something lacking. He has friends. I do not. Well I do, but not the type that I go out with to dinner, go shopping with, and do girly things with. You know what I mean, people that share similar interest and you do stuff together. For example, Jared and I would go to shows together because we enjoyed each others company and liked the music. Hampton and I would go out to eat, or drive around for hours because we understood each other and had a good time. But I don't have any Hampton's or Jared's around, and when I did have someone my job put a strain on my time, so it made things difficult. Now I have a more flexible job and time but no one around. Pete is around, but right now he is out eating with his buddies because they made it to the championship game in his hockey league. Which is a great thing & that's exactly what he should be doing but I am jealous because I don't have that. I don't have my girls I could call up and say "Hey lets go to Applebee's and hangout" or "let's go get our nails done", haha I don't know. But do you see what I mean, Pete has his boys but I don't have my girls. I need just a handleful of people that are good friends to do stuff with. On a happier note I really enjoy the people that I am working with and I would defentily say they are friends and might even turn into outside work friends but as for now, it is what it is. Hahaha, I don't know! Does that make sense?! Ah, well ...

I am so anxious to start school. I got a thing in the mail today for back to school night and I am really excited! It's a nice feeling to feel like I am working towards a goal to better my life and current situation.

Work has been good, some dramarama going down but thats what you get when you work with a bunch of women! I like it alot!

I have been missing my friends & family alot lately. Love to you all <3

The summer air has finally come in and I am so ready for it to leave again. It's hot and sticky, two things that don't mix well with Bekah!

Hungout with Bobby on Monday and that was a good time. It's nice being there and knowing I get to leave at the end of the day!

Tomorrow we are going to see The Weakerthans & The New Amsterdams. Yay!

I think I am done, I just need little improvements in certain areas. nitenite lj ...

it's been a while

2006-06-17T03:16:32Z

So Pete & I took a trip to Florida this past weekend and met up with his long time awesome friends Kate & Joey. It was an amazing trip and one of the best trips we've taken to date!

The next big thing is "The Move" 2007 & we are so serious!

Besides wanting to be back in Florida, things are good. Things at work have kinda taken a dramatic turn, and I am curious to see how the next few days/weeks are gonna go. I am so ready to start school it hurts and I am ready to get down to the business of taking care of business. I am tired of always taking about things and complaining, so this time around I am truely going to start taking action. It's all very very excited!

i wish i had speakers on my computer

2006-05-18T10:26:24Z

So, I am up & I have been for about the past two or three hours, the rest of the night was spent tossing, turning, & sweating. Nothing is really on my mind I guess, just couldn't sleep very well. Maybe I am anxious because I want to get alot done today. Who knows?!

Work has been going good, and I am glad I picked BBW. As strange as it sounds, besides learning more about make up & skin care, I am really learning how to truely act & responed as an adult. Not quite sure what that all means yet, but it's something that I suppose happens to all of us at one point or another.

I am gonna drive up to Curves this morning & then I'm meeting with a family about teaching their kids how to swim this summer. I am not sure I really want to do it or how confident I am in my skills to do so anymore, but I figure it can't hurt and it's alittle bit extra cash. I'll let you know how it goes : )

Besides that, things are good. Pete and I are good, per-usual & my Dad is still looking for a job, and hopfully has some offers soon. Oh! And I have posion ivy! I think it is getting better, but all I want is for it to go away!

My morning view,

have a good day livejournal : )

some people are weird, like whoa

2006-05-02T04:20:53Z

Well, I got a job! At Bath & Body Works as a Beauty Specialist, which is basically a big title for taking care of the "beauty room". But I really think it is gonna be an exciting thing. I get trained in all the skin care & make-up lines they carry and work with the vendors of those products. It's kinda sorta a leadership postion but I am not quite sure what that's all about, like key holding or anything, but I suppose I will find out soon enough. My first day is on Wedensday and I went out tonight and purchased some new black clothes! I am really excited about all this, even if it is a glorfied stock girl postion, I really feel it's gonna be a wonderful thing.

Everything else is pretty good for the most part. It's weird not being a nanny, and seeing Bobby everyday, but I know that by moving on I am doing the right thing by myself. Although things have been going good for me, April, who stepped in for me is having a hard time adjusting. She has called me several times and I am sure there will be some more phone calls in the future. Bobby is not the same 4 year old she left 2 years ago, he is a crazy 6 year old that is just pushing his limits to the very end. But I have faith in her, and I believe that it will take some time, but it will all be good in the end : ) It was hard to tell my parents this afternoon that I got the job, because my Dad is trying so hard to get work. And the thing is my Dad isn't a lazy guy in the least, he wants to works! He lives to work! I just don't understand why nothing has come along. But soon, very soon I hope & pray that something gives, and he will get a job. I felt the tension when I was home, and even on the phone today, it's so hard to see your parents who've been your support through out the years sorta look to you for that support now. It's just my turn now to do the same for them as they have done for me all my life. Please keep them in your prayers.

And now it is time to smile : )

Now I am off to change my underwear and head to bed! Goodnight LJ.

there & back

2006-04-22T15:33:15Z

So, being home was good. It was wonderful to see my parents and my good friends, but I have to say it is great being back on the east coast. To bad I hardly took any pictures, and the ones I did take were polariods and that is hard to post on here. It was weird leaving my family again because now more than ever it is hitting me that this is how I am gonna see my family, a couple of days at a time, and long plane rides in between. My life is in Jersey now, and as much as I love it part of me will always love & miss the Lone Star State. (don't tell anyone that I said that : )

I didn't waste anytime when I got back and it seems to have served me well. I put in an application at Target yesterday afternoon and then got a phone call that night! I have never had that happen. I need to call the lady back today because I missed her last night, but this must be a good sign. I also picked up an application to The Body Shop, and they are also hiring ( & need people asap ) and it might work in my favor that I have already worked there & left on good terms. So we shall see. Target seems easier but I am wondering if maybe The Body Shop would be a better choice for me and my career goals. I am going to drop off my apps, call the Target lady and see what happens. Hopefully karma won't turn on me now!

Today is our 2 year anniversary for Pete & I. I can't believe it has already been 2 years, and 2 crazy wonderful years at that, although it sure doesn't feel that long. He is truely my everything and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I love my baybeh & he loves me, xo!

i didn't choose this role

2006-04-13T01:39:52Z

If you didin't know, I quit the nanny gig. I am a much better person for it, and I know that even though things might not always be smooth, or go the way that I want them to I am never gonna feel like how I have felt being in this house, and having this job. I don't regret the move or being here because I feel that I have grown & learned so much, and I doubt that would have happened so quickly back home. But the one thing I do regret through out this whole time, and something that I am gonna work on starting now is my tendency to have verbal diarrhea. I talk to much & talk to to many people. I feel the need to let anyone & everyone know what's going on in my life and sometime I tell to much information. Which is not nessasary at all. So my goal from now on is be selective in what I say and whom I say it too. Because sometimes you can't trust people, and sometimes not everyone needs to know. I have of course learned heaps of other things but right now, that is the most important lesson I feel.

Even though I am ready to leave, I learned this week that it was alot harder than I thought it would be. It is going to be weird, and nice at the same time to have my freedom back. To not have to run errands for someone, not have a curfew (let me remind you that I am 22!), and do things in my own timing. Now, don't get me wrong, I work and I work hard, but the next time I work for a family, it will be my own. I can not wait to go to shows again, and go during the week if I so choose! I've already started the job hunt, and I am really excited to have a normal job. I won't be able to get down to business until I get back from Texas, but I turned in my resume to a few places, and have a couple of options open.

Speaking of home, I am going home on Saturday! I can't wait to just have a week of nothing to do, and hang out with my family and best friends. It is a well deserved vacation, and the only thing missing is Pete, but that will be the next trip home! I've got a couple of things planned, but I really just wanna see the people that mean the most to me, and chill. And since it will be Easter Sunday, hopefully I don't miss anyone!

Now, back to packing, and going to bed soon! Goodnight from the Pigozzi House, one last time.

when heaven & hell deciced

2006-04-07T02:13:25Z

I gave my notice tonight and it feels great! Alittle nervous that I might have to stay alittle longer than I thought but I figure it's just extra cash in my pocket.

It's done and I am done. Goodnight!

it ends tonight

2006-04-06T08:56:29Z

I just got off the phone with Pete and I am tired of this job messing with our relationship.I am putting in my two weeks tonight. I am done and I've had enough.

I am doing the "right" thing by me, and my sanity. And I am not going to let anyone or anything talk me out of it.

i love the muffins at stop & shop

2006-03-29T02:02:27Z

This might sound strange but just bare with me. Now, I love myspace, like I love, love, love, love, love it! I could spend hours just looking through various profiles and what not. Recently a clothing company called Mango Booty, based outta Brooklyn added me as a friend, which was fine because I was really excited to see what it was all about. It looks like its just a start up company for plus-sized urban fashion but I am really hoping that it becomes something because I totally love the idea! (being plus-sized & all) But anyway, moving through the profile, in my typical myspace fashion I clicked on several profiles of (mostly) women, a couple of plus-size or bbw magazines and models. I ran into this beauitful girl named Claudette who is actually a plus-sized model, and you can totally tell she is in love with the way she is. So I got to thinking, I am not much different from this girl, and the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I am beauitful as well. Now, don't get me wrong, I've never thought I was ugly or anything, but for a large portion of my life I felt that I was unattactive to others because of my size. But yesterday afternoon I had a revelation that I am beauitful no matter what size I am! These pass 2 years have really brought me into myself, with my love for make-up, fashion, & what not to wear : ) And I gotta say that alot of my support through that time has been from Pete & Hampton. Pete for loving me for what I am, inside & out, and Hampton introducing me to make-up and style. It's a nice feeling when you come to a point in your life where you realize what you've been learning, and who you've been learning it from.

These pass 2 years put me in the Artistic Academy today, where I registered for the Esthetics/Skin Care program starting in September. I can't tell you how excited I am, and how much I am ready for this next chapter in my life. I am alittle nervous, anxious, but mostly thrilled to finally feel like I've found what I would like to do with my life. The Pigozzi's don't know yet and they won't for about another 3 months because I would like to wait until Bobby is outta school for the summer, but things are starting to be set in motion & that is a good feeling.

I am going home in about 3 weeks! I can not wait to see my family & friends, and really just enjoy my vacation. My Mama is taking the whole week off, so it will be good times with Margaret & hopefully my Dad will have a job by then, he is in desperate need of one. (please pray for that, there are some open options) It will also be Easter that weekend, and it is gonna be wonderful to see everyone at SOBC! Then the following weekend will be our 2 year anniversary for Pete & I, hard to believe it's been 2 years! But I am postive we will have many many more!

Well, I feel like I have rambled enough for one entry. Please ignore any spelling, or grammar errors because I am to tired to really fix them tonight : ) So, goodnight livejournal!

chubby fingers & polariods

2006-03-16T15:29:14Z

I am cool.!

i chime in!

2006-03-14T15:46:05Z

Well, my birthday was excellent! We didn't do much because I ended up being sick for most of the weekend of celebration, but it was still excellent! And even though I am 22, I don't feel like I am old enough to be here, to be growing up so fast. Pete took me shopping, which is always nice, and we went out to eat with the whole gag, which again is always good times. ( for the most part : ) It feels good to be surrounded with such great people, and I realize that I am lucky to be apart of this family.

But I have to say I miss my family very very much. My Dad has been in town for a month or so taking care of my Grandmother, and it had been so wonderful having him around, that I am gonna hate it when he leaves. Now I just need to spend sometime with my Mama and I can make it through the rest of what's to come. She is hurting and I feel awful not being around to love on her. We talk on the phone all the time, but there are times where I just wish I could sit next to her and give her a hug. So soon I will be going home, and I even get to go a day earlier than I thought! I've slowly come to realize that this is what my relationship with my family is going to be, long distances, short visits home, and huge phone bills! It could be worst.!

Other than that, things are pretty much normal. I am ready to leave the nanny gig, and do what I want & need to do for the future. I am excited to start school, start a career, and start a life with Pete. I am so ready for those things, and I do have fears about what's to come, like money and what not, but I have faith that God has set me up this far and isn't gonna fail me now! But I have the feeling that it is all gonna happen so fast and that the next 6 months or so are gonna be a blur, even though the wait seems foever!

Now, I am off to clean house, and then to Old Navy to browse the clearance racks!

twenty two years.

2006-03-07T13:17:15Z

Happy Birthday! To me!

: )

revelations in the shower

2006-03-01T15:41:19Z

Things are good.

I talked to Joanne last week about how I was feeling & what I was seeing with Bobby, and she really responded well. I have even noticed that she has made an effort to help me, and I can't tell you how much better Bobby has been because of it! Maybe the next five months or so won't be hell.!

Hampton moved back to Texas last week, and though I am very excited for her, I am going to miss her very much.

Having my Dad around has been wonderful! I love and respect him so much, and I am truely lucky to have a father with such qualities.

But on the other hand I miss my Mama so much that it hurts at times. I really don't know what I would do without her.

Hopefully in April I will make it down for a couple of days. Book your lunch dates now!

My birthday is next week, and I will be 22. I never thought I would be here at 22, and I mean that in a good way.

And as for Pete, well, he is just everything. Everything I love, I want, & I need.

So again, things are good. I am happy, and I'm not worrying about a damn thing!

ps. Bobby & I are going to Color Me Mine today and I am excited to paint a coffee container for my folks!

take a big bite outta everyone you know

2006-02-22T02:24:51Z

I am ready for change, but only good changes will do. ( life in gerenal. )

early valentines

2006-02-13T19:52:11Z

Our weekends are always far to short, yet always so wonderful. My only 2 regrets are that I fell asleep way to early Saturday night, & I only took one picture of us the whole time. (which was a polariod and you have it : )

So this will have to do.

Happy Valentine's Day Baybeh, I love you.

near our home

2006-02-10T03:38:26Z

I had dinner with my Dad tonight, & he reminded me that I am a fighter. I love how he always sees me for what I really am, the good & the bad, either way I am so thankful for a father like that.

Whoa A-oh-a-oh

light up like you have a choice

2006-02-08T03:31:14Z

Bob is coming up to stay with my Grandma (his mother) while her feet heal. I am really excited to see him and I am glad that Grandma gets to go home.

I love my Daddy.

shifting through, frame by frame

2006-02-03T02:44:06Z

My Grandma Biermann broke her left foot last week and is in the hospital, so please keep her in your prayers.
She is doing good, but really just wants to be home and not in rehab or the hospital.
Tomorrow is Friday, and that is always a wonderful thing!
I love talking to January because she always has the best stories!
She was one of the reasons that OBU was a good thing. (although I have many more)
I really wish that Nightmare Of You and The Honorary Title were playing weekend shows and not all these weekday shows.
But this weekend is all about chillin' and not spending money! So maybe next time.
I love talking to my high school choral director on aim, he is cool llike whoa!
It's amazing who become your friends after high school.
If only I knew then, what I know now, what a difference that would be.
But thats always the case, isn't it?! I am better for all my experiences.

Ok. I think I am done. I am so distracted right now, and you would rather look at pictures anyways : P

He is amazing, like whoa.

We are cute : )

My city!

Goodnight.

love, love is the greatest.

2006-01-26T02:47:18Z

I feel some what distanced from myself, but then again maybe I am just tired.

Words to describe me, right now : lazy, out of it, in need of a cuddle, anxious, missing certain people, & loved (most important & truely true)

I've begun to not shampoo my hair everyday for better styling (apperently), so far I don't smell to bad : )
Going to the city on Friday for a very late but very needed Christmas exchange and dinner!
Saturday night it is all about me, Pete, and Mr. Evan Dando. Pete & I hope to have a kid(s) as cool as Evan. Seriously.

Gonna wash my face and hit the hay, whoa! Goodnight world, love ya <3

I make weird faces all the time, but I feel my hair has a chance in these pictures.

Not really sure what to think of this one, but I think I like it.

change is good

2006-01-13T02:03:49Z

I got a haircut. I think I might just love it, but I am still in that new stage after a cut and seeing my head in a different light.

It's Friday tomorrow! It's been a good week, and I hope to end it on a good note tomorrow! hoping & praying

Before ...

I don't really like these next 2 pictures, but it's the best I could do : )

And I just love black & white ...

I am gonna dye it and play around, kinda excited about that! I just might have good hair for a change!