Im considering going friends only in this journal...
not because i dont want randoms reading my occasional emotional/intelligent thoughts, they cant relly hurt me but more that i have had a few things change in my life and id prefer people that are/were in my life not have the advantage or inside information into my head to use against me or pass around freely. I also have found out that relatives have been reading this too...

It kinda sux that i may do this but for me past is past and some people have trouble letting go when im trying to move foward
ill probably keep my personal stuff friends only and other random etc stuff public
i dunno
im just a tad annoyed and my life is complicated enough without people using my journal as a tool into my head and fuel for arguments
for those annonomous (speling?) users that read this get an lj and friend me... im not scary.

also id like to start using this journal as it was intended... to be the outlet of my head moreso than it is now and less of the meme/random blabber (altho blabber is 90% my head)
anyway its just something im thowing around

hmmm sleep time

A Perfect Circle
Pet

Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window

Go back to sleep



Lay your head down child

I won't let the boogeyman come

Counting bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind to the rabble

Pay no mind to the rabble

Head down, go to sleep

To the rhythm of the war drums



Pay no mind what other voices say

They don't care about you, like I do, like I do

Safe from pain, and truth and choice and other poison devils,

See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.



Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,

Go back to sleep

Go back to sleep



Lay your head down child

I won't let the boogeyman come

Counting bodies like sheep

To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind to the rabble

Pay no mind to the rabble

Head down, go to sleep

To the rhythm of the war drums



I'll be the one to protect you from

Your enemies and all your demons

I'll be the one to protect you from

A will to survive and a voice of reason

I'll be the one to protect you from

Your enemies and your choices son

They're one and the same

I must isolate you

Isolate and save you from yourself



Swayin' to the rhythm of the new world order and

Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums

The boogeyman are coming

The boogeyman are coming

Keep your head down, go to sleep

To the rhythm of the war drums



Stay with me

Safe and ignorant

Just stay with me

Hold you and protect you from the other ones

The evil ones

Don't love you son,

Go back to sleep

As long as space remains,
as long as sentient beings remain,
until then, may i too remain
and dispel the miseries of the world.

you know whats awesome about piss yellow volvos?
absolutely nothing


*kicks stuff and wanders off sooking*

just finished 9 days straight at the casino *dies* so im now taking 2 days off to drink and rest and fuck about...

im so goddamn the tiredest.

more lata

Tell me a memory of yours of you and I together that stands out in your mind. For those of you who have never met me IRL name one moment of my life/LJ/whatever that stands out or something that reminds you of me.

Post this in your journal and see what people remember you by.

Something i have noticed since moving back to the city...

everyone is in a hurry... to get to work, to get home, for the weather to get warmer, to clean their houses, to party, to grow up, to retire, for their plants to grow, to get married, to get a divorce, to be single , to have a relationship, to be in love, to put their shoes on, to go out etc etc

I guess some people have no understanding of living in the moment or standing still and really soaking it all in... i know im guilty of it too
Every day here (like everywhere), is different to the last... it slowly gets warmer, it rains, different birds are around, flowers bloom, different people walk by, trees change colour

I have been accepted into the Australian college of natural medecine and begin study on the 27th of Feb im very excited
i am also a couple of weeks away from starting on a permanent basis with burswood casino as a cocktail barman... im hoping i can do both next year as i only goto class 3 days a week and it leaves me the rest of the week to work or play or study)

one day...

one day
the flowers will not bloom
because noone will admire them
one day
the birds will not sing
because noone hears their song
one day
everyones eyes will turn grey
because noone looks into them anymore
one day
we will have no emotion
becaue we are too busy to care or love or hate.



that is all
more later

yes yes i know im im posting mostly crap lately but im busy... sorry

ill get to a decent post soon...

but for now...

I am The Empress The Empress can refer to any aspect of Motherhood. She can be an individual mother, but as a major arcana card, she also goes beyond the specifics of mothering to its essence - the creation of life and its sustenance through loving care and attention. The Empress can also represent lavish abundance of all kinds. She offers a cornucopia of delights, especially those of the senses - food, pleasure and beauty. She can suggest material reward, but only with the understanding that riches go with a generous and open spirit. The Empress asks you to embrace the principle of life and enjoy its bountiful goodness. For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate. Month: Day: Year:

You are a Werewolf.

What legend are you? Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

Catching up with old friends has turned out to be quite an unsatisfying task... I didnt expect it to be all champagne and blow jobs, but jesus...
So far most of them are ither married, have kids, still fucking themselves up, dead, in relationships that are destroying them or totally unmotivated to do anything. I wasnt really expecting anything and im sure their all happy it their worlds, Its just left me feeling odd and a little nauseous.

It makes me wonder what would have become of me if i had stayed in this city instead of fucking off to Cairns when i did.. Would i have kids? i was a manwhore so probably... would i be married? no...

Im a little lost here and that i knew would come... im a little lonely but i dont want to fall into my old lifestyle so i just float along

I have my little house and my family, next year i have uni... so much to look foward to...

Why do i feel a little empty then?


*to my cairns friends... you are greatly missed and your little worlds carry so much more colour than the ones here*

i know im healing but why does it feel like my hands are bound and my head is filled with cotton wool...


and the clock still ticks

*insert proper wog accent*

"OMG if you were a Mcdonalds burger, you would be a Mc Beautiful"

im going to start making a list of things that id like in my perfect world and i will begin this now :P( in no order)

in a perfect world...

1. the truth would not need sugar coating.
2. dogs would never live in fear of being kicked, starved or mistreated in any way.
3. the above applies to all creatures.
4. there would be no such things as public liability insurance... if you fall off a fucking ladder and break your ass because you were drunk and were trying to break into some old ladies house... SUCK SHIT deal with it... no suing or insurance claim for your supid ass!
5. there would be no need for locks on doors because...
6. there would be no need to live in fear.
7. a smile would be met with a smile.
8. affection would be considered the norm.
9. batteries would never go flat.
10. everyone would have a home.
11. noone would ever know starvation.
12. there would be no footpaths only grass paths.
13. all parking would be free.
14. environmentally friendly vehicles would not be held back by corrupted governments.
15. THERE WOULD BE NO CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.
16. honesty and respect would be the norm.
17. partners would not cheat.
18. there would be no Mc Donalds.
19. gum would never lose its flavour.
20. toilet water would never splash up and wet your bum.
21. farts would still stink because its funny
22. the mutton dressed up as lamb syndrome would not exist (i have no idea how to stop this)


that is all for now

Whe have had Kasey (our pet dog) in our family since my mother bought this house 14 years ago... he was at least 5 when we got him... a beatutiful kind red cloud kelpie...
He was old! very old!

This morning i find him sitting in the sun unable to get up, his hips had failed him finally...
I took him to the vet

This afternoon i buried him in the back yard.

I cried twice today... once when i found him in the yard crying tears just like i would... he cried just like a person... tears pouring down his grey old face as he tried over and over to get up.
I cried the second time as i dug the hole he now lies in under a tree in our yard.

I have never seen an animal cry and i dont want to ever forget it


Im not an animal activist nor will i ever be, but anyone who thinks that animals have no feelings and are just unintelligent creatures here for our amusement, these people should see what i had to see today.

he knew it was his time and he tried to walk so much that the muscles in his legs were spasming from exhaustion

im going to miss that dog... he has seen me grow from a messed up 12 year old dealing with his messed up life into the person i am today and not once did he judge me all he wanted was a pat and to play ball or run around the yard. He was family.

R.I.P KC 16/9/2005 May your heaven be full of slow postmen and full of bones to chew

May the road be free for the journey,
May it lead where it promised it would,
May the stars that gave ancient bearings
Be seen, still be understood
May every aircraft fly safely,
May every traveler be found,
May sailors in crossing the ocean
Not hear the cried of the drowned
May gardens be wild, like jungles,
May nature never be tamed,
May dangers create of us heroes,
May fears always have names,
May the mountains stand to remind us,
Of what it mean to be young
May we be outlived by our daughters,
May we be outlived by our sons
May the bombs rust away in the bunkers,
And the doomsday clock not be rewound
May the solitary scientists, working
Remember the holes in the ground
May the knife remain in the holder,
May the bullet stay in the gun,
May those who live in the shadows
Be seen by those in the sun

its so goddamn cold right now that if i pee'd i think i would have my very own frozen yellow javelin

stolen from
Look at your LJ "interests" list. If you have fewer than 50 interests, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five interests, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five interests, pick every tenth one. If you have fewer than ten, pick all of 'em. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly what it is about these things that interests you so much.

accupuncture - because it works and is better than antibiotics

angels - because they have feathers and sit on clouds... i wanna sit on clouds

australia - because we get to ride emu's to work and we have friendly crazy people like steve irwin and rose hancock

blonde - i like all hair colours really (red mostly) but it was the 5th on my list

buddha - becausae hes fat as fuck and still smiling

cocaine - because it used to be my drug of choice a long time ago

crystals - because their magic

dirt - because it made really yummy pie when i was 2

drinking - uhm because its fun and bad for me and legal

friends - their special

happiness - its beter than sadness

incence - smells good

kissing - its fun and gooey

licking - its funner and gooeyer

massage - not as fun as licking but can be sometimes

piercing - its cool but i might be getting over it... looks great on some people

power - i cant watch tv without it or make this post

reiki - hmmm its very interesting and gentle (im a softie :P)

sex - duh... even when its bad its still good

subji - yummiest food in the world

treats - who dosent like getting treats?!

watermellon - its yum

tamsta tamsta

Well it looks like im enrolling at the Australian college of natural medecine to do a degree in naturopathy next year and working as a barman at night.

sweet

and on a sadder note i have broken up with linda... dont really want to go into it but we have decided to stay in touch and see where we are at in a year or 2... it kinda sux but it had to happen we both have some issues to deal with and trying to do it together from opposite sides of the country is stupid.... so im single... and im not looking ty
when i start this course i wont have time for anyone anyway with study and work and being a tim the toolman wannabee

*sigh*

on with my journey

i have been trying to remeber my old pick up lines that i used to use many moons ago that worked...
these are the only ones that i can remeber

(Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
"I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are."

it worked :P
and...
"how about i cook you the best breakfast you have ever had"*insert innocent face here*

it worked too (almost too well)
and finally (for now)
"If I follow you home will you keep me?"
i must have had something else going for me because they kinda suck

heres a few my very good friends have actually used and surprisingly they worked... ( i also dont hit the town with them anymore you will soon understand why)

"up the bum no babies!" <--- he used it all the time and it worked (sick)
"wanna root? (girl obviously says no) well do you mind laying down while i have one?" <--- this one worked too and yes this friend is somwhat BOGAN!


In my own defence (not that i need to defend myself) i have never tried for one nighters and have probably had 2 in my whole life... the women that the pickup lines worked on i am still friends with today.

that is all