||[Feb. 27th, 2005|01:40 am]
|||||Frou Frou - Holding Out For A Hero||]|
Hmm...I think I'm gonna go Friends Only with this journal.
Sooo...yeah. If you read my lj and haven't added me yet, do so and I'll add you back.
All the entries that are up so far will stay public because I'm too lazy to go back and change them, but everything after today is going to be Friends Only!
Nobody's getting cut from my friends list (yet), so if you're all ready on my list, No worries!
|I almost wrote a song about you today...BUT I TORE IT ALL UP AND THEN I THREW IT AWAY!!!!
||[Feb. 26th, 2005|07:37 pm]
|[||.::Don't Be Emo!::.
|||||Seal - Love's Divine||]|
stole this from l0st_inl0ve. Check our her LJ, because it's rad.
top ten things that move me the most
one] When people say something nice to me and I can tell that they really mean it.
two] Girl loses guy/guy realizes mistake/girl gets new, different and better guy books. Those kind of books are always so sweet, because someone who deserves to be treated better always gets what she deserves in the end. *girly sigh*
three] Seeing someone cry
four] Certain songs
five] Really good stories/poems
six] That nervous but excited, sweaty palms, fast heartbeat, butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling when you pass by someone you really like.
seven] Smiling for no reason other than not having a reason to frown.
eight] Having friends that are real. Ones that won't lie to you, even if the truth hurts. Ones that don't appear to be one way around certain people and different around others. Ones that are just...real.
nine] Playing piano
ten things that bother me most
one] When people let their children run around restaurants/theaters/other public places while they're screaming and being obnoxious. People, would you kindly teach your children some matters or take them home?
two] having something you can never say
three] Having a million things you want to say to someone, but somehow not being able to say a single one to them.
four] Remembering that you forgot something, but not being able to remember what you've forgotten.
five] Feeling lonely
six] Having nobody to talk to when you need it the most.
seven] The color yellow.
eight] Putting everything you've got into something, only to have someone else ruin it.
nine] When people refuse to look at things from another angle and assume their always right.
ten] When people are dead set on believing in only things that have scientific proof. ...Just because it hasn't been proven yet, doesn't mean it's wrong.
ten things that scare me the most
one] The future
two] Losing the people I'm close to
four] The possibility of being alone forever
six] Fighting with friends
seven] Losing my dad
eight] Losing sight of things that really matter to me
||[Feb. 25th, 2005|10:10 pm]
|[||.::Don't Be Emo!::.
|||||Puss in Boots and Donkey - Livin' La Vida Loca! hehe Shrek 2||]|
Firstly: Join my tag team if you love me. It's cool, and you can do fun things. http://www.taggedmail.com/welcome.html?aa=y6p7&a=1
I've felt like complete crap all day. I went to a Dr. appointment this morning and they drew blood. A lot more than they've ever taken out of me before...I don't know why they took so much this time. It's weird. But anyway, while I was waiting for the blood test results she did this thing where she pressed on my stomach with 2 fingers and tapped on her fingers with her other hand kinda hard.
Seeing as my stomach was dead empty, it hurt like a freaking mofo. No food since Monday night, with being sick and all that stupid stuff. My stomach won't quit growling either. GRRR.
But yeah, back to the appointment, when the blood test came back she said my potassium and hemogloblin were fine but something else was weird with it. I forget what it was called, but she said there was something present in my blood that indicated I was starving. *rolls eyes*
NO FREAKING CRAP, Lady! I'm SICK! I cannot EAT because I cannot keep food down!! I haven't been able to for FOUR DAYS! Thusly, I am STARVING! Duh... You think someone with a medical degree could figure that much out...but no.
Anyways, after my appointment I went to school *for the first time this week...oh yay* and felt horrible for the rest of the day. It took just about every bit of energy I had to make it up the stairs for each class. By 7th hour, I was ready to just pass out in a hallway somewhere to rest. And now I'm home, still feeling horrible even after I've taken my anti-nausea medication, zantac, and my antibiotic. My head's killing me, I just kinda feel weak all over like if I stand up I'm just gonna collapse, and all of my muscles are sore. Advil's not helping at all, so I'm basically screwed. Guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with it.
...Yup. SO, now that I'm done with my Pity Party, I can get to the good part:
Tomorrow, Sarah and I are going to watch a ton of Disney Movies and get all nostalgic over them and love every minute of it. Aladdin, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, The Emporer's New Groove, Hercules, Little Mermaid...Heck yes.
(Anybody I know in real life that reads this: You should come. It's gonna be great fun. I don't care if I like you/hate you/love you/forgot you existed. You should just be there, because it's gonna be rad.)
Okay, enough of that. Join my tag team, make me happy, and have a good night!
SAMBOB IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND IF YOU DON'T THINK SO: SHE IS! SHE IS A KAJILLION TIMES COOLER THAN YOU AND YOU SHOULD LOAF HER AND GIVE HER HIGH FIVES AND HUGS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AS RAD AS HER! SO PUT THAT IN YOUR JUICE BOX AND SUCK IT!
||[Feb. 22nd, 2005|04:34 pm]
|[||.::Don't Be Emo!::.
|||||The Rocket Summer - Crossy My Heart||]|
Okay, I guess I lied.
I'm not going on hiatus from LJ, because I spend too much time staring at the computer screen to not spend time on LJ.
Things suck a lot right now...I guess I've been dumped (and I gotta tell ya, I'm feeling slightly less than peachy), and rather than thinking rationally and taking time to think and calm down and give myself time to stop crying and really put things in perspective, I did something really really stupid.
I shouldn't have done it, and in the end it didn't help at all...so what did I do? I did it again in the morning; and all I've got now that it's done and over is a sore throat, bruises on my stomach, and a wicked stomachache. I feel really really terrible. I thought I might actually be over all of that, but I guess I'm not.
But I've talked with 3 different people now, and each of them have done a little bit to help, and I've decided that no matter how lonely, rejected, and stupid I feel from all of this...I'm going to try to not let it get to me so badly. Because I stayed up literally all night crying - and what did it get me? ...Nothing. Did throwing up until there was nothing left and ending up with the dry heaves for half an hour do me any good? - Other than getting me to stop feeling for a short while, no. It didn't. All the feelings came rushing right back once I was finished, so it did me no good at all...And I feel really stupid because I did it again this morning. It was like I couldn't stop myself; kind of like I was outside myself, watching myself do it. I just wanted to make it stop hurting for a while...
But what's done is done, and I can't un-do it and I can't make people feel things that they don't so there's no point in tying to. I guess there's really nothing to do but try to get over it and hope for the best and pray that he still wants to be my friend- because without him to talk to I'll go nuts.
aaand, a ton of surveys stolen from forgotten_story, because I have nothing better to do with my life...
( surveysCollapse )
||[Feb. 21st, 2005|11:03 pm]
I'm going on another hiatus for...a reason.
I won't be posting for a while, because anything I post will just stupid freaking sad crap, and because I don't know whether to be angry or to keep crying or to scream and throw things and have a fit or to just stop feeling all together.
Bye for a while.
|A TRUCKLOAD of quotes.
||[Feb. 20th, 2005|10:05 pm]
My computer's being COMPLETELY reformatted sometime this week, so I've gotta stash anything on it that I want to keep some place...so this is where my quotes are going!|
Feel free to pick through them/steal some, but I'll warn you...this is EVERY SINGLE quote I've got saved on my computer, and they're in no particular order whatsoever.
( TONS of quotes behind the cutCollapse )</3
things change, friends leave and life doesn't stop for anybody
the hardest part isn't finding what we need to be, it's being content with who we are.
i would trade ten thousand tomorrows
for a single yesterday.
being with you is like a scene from a dream in heaven
people change-things go wrong-but you've got to remember-
life goes on
rumors are vicious. talk is cheap.
words are malicious. secrets you should keep.
gossip is fake and i'll make the deepest cut
so learn from the past and keep your mouth shut
it didn't use to be goodbye until we were falling asleep at the keyboard at 2 a.m...
but now not even a five minute conversation comes easy..
you can't hide behind make up;
it just runs with the tears </3
you're no good at lying & i'm no good at comebacks
i'll be your best kept secret
& biggest mistake
it doesn't matter how i paint it
any picture of you is perfect *
laugher is timeless
imagination has no age
dreams are forever
be you... those who matter don't mind
and those who mind, don't matter
--in the end we will remember not hte words --
-- but the silence of our friendship --
I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always...How lucky I am to have known someone who made it this difficult to say goodbye..
A Moment Frozen There In Time
Still can't believe you're gone. I'll love and miss you forever.
You are apart of me, the heart of me
sgniht ta kool uoy yaw eht egnahc ot tog ve'uoY (<---Read this one backwards)
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
or anyone at all...
You told me that you loved me, I started tearing down those walls.
I really started to trust you but you set me up to take the fall.
You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs.
and i dare you to forget
the marks you left across my neck
from those nights when we both found at our best.
now i could make this obvious
and you, you could deny me
all in one breath
you could shrug me off your shoulders.
seem to stop my breath, my head on your chest
waiting to chave in, from the bottom of my hear
your voice again . . . never caught my breath,
every second I'm without you; I'm a mess...
some 'friends' will ask you why you're crying, but best friends will know exactly why and then go kick his ass.
Gotta find a way
Yeah, I can't wait another day
Ain't nothin' gonna change
If we stay 'round here
Gotta do what it takes
Cause it's all in our hands
We all make mistakes
Yeah, but it's never to late to start again
Take another breath
And say another prayer
And at any time if you are thinking of me,
you can be sure I'm thinking of you.-Unknown
& the best that you could hope for is hardly the best
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take
It was the end of something simple & the beginning of everything else.
Open fire on my burning heart
I've never been lucky in love
It gets in your eyes, its making you cry
I've created a mess, acted on feelings
emotions will drive, but I'm not steering
I sit here & think about everything
That has happened this past year
& not a single tear runs down my
cheek. Maybe it’s because I’m too
hurt to cry, or maybe I’m just too
mad at you, or maybe just maybe
it’s my hearts way of telling me this
isn’t over yet.
You had me. You had me 3 months ago and you left. It has nothing to do with me,
it is about you, and it is always about you. What you need and what you want,
you know.. it seems that you only want me, when you can't have me. You like
the chase and thats all. So you know what, you can have it. - the OC
Because I'd be a different me, with a different you...if that's what you need
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
no matter how they toss the dice
it had to be; the only one for me is you;
and you for me; so happy together
i can`t see me lovin' nobody
but you for all my life
"a brand new night with the same old stars.
l o s i n g h o p e i s e a s y."
"so hard to be so close to you, so hard to turn a w a y"
x So it took me by complete surprise... x
x When my heart got lost in the those deep blue eyes.. x
x He's not at all what i was looking for x
x He's M_O_R_E x
*-* More than I dreamed of..
more than any girl deserves..
I couldnt ask for more..than a love like his.. *-*
no matter what, I love you. If the sun has faded away I'll try to make it shine There's nothing I won't do When you need a shoulder to cry on I hope it will be mine Call me tonight, and I'll come to you
And you know very well I can't keep my hands to myself
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
keep on giving, go on living like the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away,
and it's up to you to say h o w f a r.
"With love and patience, anything is possible"
To have someone you can laugh with, someone you can cry with, tell your secrets to.
To have someone who wont judge you, someone who just loves you.
No matter what they stand beside you.
Some people arent lucky like us
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together -- keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever (Winnie the Pooh :))
If I leave here tomorrow,
would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause theres too many places I've got to see.(Lynard Skynard, duh!)
Maybe we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think of us in return.
Where it began, I can't begin to know, but I know it's growing strong.
And when I hurt, hurting runs off my shoulders, how can I hurt when holding you? <3 :-D
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you do, lie in the arms of the one you love, steal away from bad company, cheat death, and drink to the moments that take you breath away."
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