but i woulden't have it any other way

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 02:03:26 GMT

do you understand the reason for pain?
or am I the only one who hears it?
this awful melody is proof that i will never breathe.
but how can i save myself behind the promises i've made

well yesterday was fucking awsome, me cait and alley, josh.w..(<3 i think i like him again.= / ) jon, adam and some other kids i forget lol were hanging out, it was great, cait alley we gotta hangout more, today..i did nothing!! again, i really need to do something with my life, i'm like wasting valuable summer time..i'm in a great mood tho, really happy, i love being happy..cait called me pretty, that made me happy, for some reason i can never agree with anyone that calls me pretty..it's weird, and hard to explain, i'm sure a lotta people feel that way once in a while..

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 18:56:37 GMT

another night with arms still empty..</3

yeah so i was talking to kristin and something might happen with..kris i really hope you're not..i love you, alex told me to watch this video from her warped tour, and you can hear her screaming to boys night out!! haha it's so funny..i'm defiantly getting fat, i have 2 belt loops i fit in and i can't fit in either of them =/ so i'm gonna start running again, cause i've been so lazy, please lemme know if you wanna go runing with me, it's not so fun running by myself, me cait and alley didn't hang out, but on monday which is tomorrow i think? we're gonna hangout =)..whit thanks for everything, can't wait to see you..

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 15:20:19 GMT

me and kristin were talking, she's trying to convince me that i'm pretty, which i'll never be, i'de kill to be as pretty as her, and you know what, i'm trying, and yet i still get called ugly, i guess what i'm doing isn't enough, and lately, i've been feeling really lonely..ah i hate this, well one good thing, i'm gonna see whit soon..

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 15:21:39 GMT

i'll live my words..

today i'm gonna hangout with alley and cait!! i can't wait, their so awsome i love you guys =)..idk where were going or what were gonna do, but that's okay, i had tea with lots of sugar, so i have like a massive amount of energy, whit is gonna come with me the 29th for my family reunion, cause it's gonna be boring, and i haven't seen her in sooo long, alex is telling me all about, she saw some kick ass bands, now that i think about it i wanna go to Warped Tour, but it's too late, and i'm waiting for skate and surf, cause it's just fucking amazing, i'm really hungry so i'm gonna go eat

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 18:33:47 GMT

so let a smile out and show your teeth
cause you know you lived it well..</3

i'm gaining weight again =/..i want to weigh like 110, and i'm 120 again, i think i did good tho, i mean i got really fat this year, i was like 105 in the beginning of the school year and i got up to 130..now i'm 120..roar!, my bangs are almost grown out *claps* now all these fuckers wont call me ugly, i hope they don't, it really makes me mad..i'm bringing whit to my family reunion, cause their always boring, and whit's awsome, me alley cait and brit might hang out tomorrow =)..i've been talking to amy a lot, (not amy jacob) she's really cool..i did her journal, it came out great, ily amy..i'm gonna go make some food, cause all i ate today was a peach..

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 18:52:51 GMT

time and time again we fall in to the depths of who we are
but you can't keep running away from what you're trying to find..

okay so yesterday, i forgot to tell you guys something, i didn't eat anything until like six, and when i was walking home from playing tennis i fell over, i was all red, and shaking, i didn't think i'de make it home, but i did, today i'm going to jackie's and staying there for the night, cause there's these mexican's coming to my house tomorrow and i can't be here for obvious reasons,if anyone can help out my freind kristin with her livejoural that'd be cool, ask me about it, canuse i tried and ican't get it, somethings weird with her over rides..i had an awsome talk with alley last night, well not awsome, but we've never talked like that before, it was pretty cool, she's awsome to talk to..

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 22:46:16 GMT

okay, well i haven't updated in a little, that's okay..here's what's been going on..last night i was at my cousins wedding, it was awsome, there was this guy and he was serving us our dinner and talking to us, he was so gay, haha, and i saw amy!! amy's so fucking cool, she lives in florida, and i saw her like 6 years ago, we didn't talk much, i'm not sure if she likes me anymore..today, i went to the highschool and met up with alexis..we played tennis for like an hour, i was so tired, i was shaking when i got home, i haven't eaten or anything all of today, i had water like 30 minutes ago, it was awsome tho, i think she thinks i suck, i haven't played in a while, oh well..i think i'm gonna go eat some food, the me and jackie are gonna hang out..i'll update tomorrow..pieces

what's left of the dreams we had
what's letf of the hope we had
nothing..nothing at all..</3

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 20:59:03 GMT

saves the day, need i say more, they got this kick ass cd coming out, all the demo shit, un-released songs, a dvd and a lot more other shit, it's weird too, i mean don't you think you'de like to see your favorite bad first, or at least see them i haven't seen them yet..hopefully they'll play around here again ah i love them, went running today at the track, just a mile..it's not that much, but it'll help my lose weight, eating right helps too, played ddr for an hour last night, great game, for some reason i'm like amazingly happy, haha it's great i love it, i might hangout with whit this friday, that'd be awsome, she's amazing, and then sunday i might hang out with my snarker aka kristin haha..i'm gonna go, i think i'm grounded which sucks, so if i don't update or reply back to you don't be mad, i just can't use my computer..pieces

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 19:02:04 GMT

oh man how i love hidden in plain view, they need to come back to stanhope, i mean their from here and all, but they need to play a home town show, taht'd be so fucking kick ass, think about it, hidden in plain view back in stanhope..fucking amazing, all of us stanhopeians that like them should write to them and ask them to play a local show, today i'm doing ab-so-fucking-lutley nothing i wanted to go running, at the highschool but it keeps raining so i give up, i'll run tomorrow, and probably play DDR an extra hour tonight cause i ate a lotta shit today, probably why i'm fat, i have a wedding to go to this weekend, i really don't wana go, it's gonna be so fucking boring, i was hanging out with chrissy again last night, she's fucking amazing, we laugh so much, haha chrissy last night was fun, well i'm gonna go rock out to shoot the moon

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 22:24:12 GMT

last night, words can't explain it, at the fire works with chrissy and alex..and lots of other people i forgot, haha it was amazing, we went on the tracks like last night, words can't explain it, at the fire works with chrissy and alex..and lots of other people i forgot, haha it was amazing, we went on the tracks like 3 times, walking across the street and the cops were yelling at us, haha i don't even remember half of the shit that went on, and i called alexis she's like 19 she's was so funny she kept talking to me, and i coulden't understand anything she was saying, and she kept going on and on talking about nothing..today she told me that she had been drinking since like 3 that day, so she was definatly drunk..haha it was so funny tho whit finally told me what was wrong, like involving the doctor and shit, i'm glad she did, it's not really that bad, and she's gonna be okay, so i'm happy, i love ya whit, i've been playing dance dance revoloution for like 3 nights in  a row for 2 hours at a time, 400 calories burned a night haha, it's on workout mode, awsome game too, probably gonna play it tonight, i hope i start to lose weight, that's sorta what i'm doing it for, my bangs are almost grown out so that makes me really happy, their actually really annoying, oh and i didn't go to manhunt that night, i was out some where..fuck i forgot where i was..oh well,maybe C.O. with chrissy, sam, jessica, and courtney..no one stole my hat last night, made me happy..i've been listining to Hidden In Plain View a lot lately, i forgot how much i really liked them, oh yeah i got 2 new shoot the moon songs that alex sent me, there amazing, i love Shoot The Moon color i can't wait for their CD to come out, i told alex i'm buying two just cause i'm nice like that,i'm still so tired from last night, gonna go make some coffee or something

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:52:23 GMT

i just thought i had to write about something, my friend made me think of it..i love the emo guys that walk around at night on the streets playing acoustic, i think thats just so awsome, only person i know that does that is nick deresky..

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 19:44:34 GMT

today i did nothing, which is what summer's about right?..well i think i'm gonna start running or somthing, i'm getting fat..cause all i do is stay home and eat food..if anyone would like to come running with me maybe at the highschool or some where let me know, i was also talking to whit today, haha kiddo, she's amazing, haha we had teh longest convorsation about nothing imaginable..it was really funny..i'm reall worried about her too, she never really seems that happy, i mean i know she talks like she is, but it seems fake, and she told me her doctor called and she hung up on me, she woulden't tell me what it was about, i'm scared that it's bad, she also wanted to change the subject, i really hope it's not bad, cause i love her dearly..i'm probably going to man-hunt tonight but who knows, their probably gonna steal my hat, and i sorta need it cause it keeps my bangs back because their like amazingly long, and with out my hat i look like shit, oh well, it's probably gonna be fun, ther's always a lotta people there, and we usually just walk around, it's fun tho, tomorrow i'm probably going running, whit's having a party in august and this kid's gonna be there Zach, he's so adorable..i can't wait to see him, he's really cool..hopefully i'll get to know him better, and i'm also gonna start losin gweight for that, idk i think i'm like 120 now..and it's fat..it's getting me mad, other wise from me being a lazy ass i'm great, i think i'm gonna go talk to some people about tonight..and before i go i'de like to share something with all of you that are reading this, it's amazing, shoot the moon has a new song, and i'm telling you to listen to it, right now

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 23:53:56 GMT

last night was the best, alex started talking to me again, i was so happy, cause i love alex, she's the best, and when ever we talk we're always sending pictures cause we're weird like that, she sent me some picutres of her self and her friends, she didn't look happy tho..so i made sure nothing was wrong..and nothing was..and today was cool..i went over sam's house, haha she's crazy, we laughed the whole time..awsome girl right there..well i can't wait for the fire works me and chrissy are gonna hnagout..her friend courtney, i really don't like her, i just said i do to her cause she's really annoying, she thinks she's fucking perfect, and she's not..haha and her nose it's really weird it bothers me so much, she like's avril lavigne too, and i respect that but i have a strong hatetred for avril..well i'm gonna talk to whit about her moving..close to here! haha i love you whit, don't be sad..

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 19:45:23 GMT

and from one year too another i think of you when i feel summer,..it's summer..summer.where night belongs to lust and lovers ...

ahh dashboard..i love them <3, well i haven't really ahd the time to update cause i've been working on kristin's for 2 days..oh well she diserved it..she's sucha great person..anyway i was out all day yesterday with chrissy holy shit it was amazing, we went to the movies and it was boring so we took a cab to C.O. and we were there for the rest of the night hanging out..chrissy ily you're awsome!! can't wait for the fire works and throw you know who in the lake..wow do i hate her so much..haha well i'm gonna go rock out..

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 19:43:13 GMT

and from one year too another i think of you when i feel summer..it's summer..summer.where night belongs to lst and lovers

ahh dashboard..i love them <3, well i haven't really ahd the time to update cause i've been working on kristin's for 2 days..oh well she diserved it..she's sucha great person..anyway i was out all day yesterday with chrissy holy shit it was amazing, we went to the movies and it was boring so we took a cab to C.O. and we were there for the rest of the night hanging out..chrissy ily you're awsome!! can't wait for the fire works and throw you know who in the lake..wow do i hate her so much..haha well i'm gonna go rock out..

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:48:38 GMT

heyy you guys, yeah i got a new back round and shit from my friend alley..how she does that is amazing..thanks a lot alley..this new set up kicks ass

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 16:54:27 GMT

yesterday was awful..my cell phone broke!! here's the story: well i was at this pool party for my friend becca and we took huge cups and filled them with water and we were running around throwing them at eachother, it was sooo fun, so i ended up getting soaked so i said to my self hes i should jump in the pool with my clothes and i did but my cell phone was in my pants pocket and i didnt take it out..=/

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:38:35 GMT

this one goes out to alex..alex i love you! don't worry about all that shit thats going on..update your journal!! can't wait to see you in 700 days haha, WV here i come!!!

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:33:21 GMT

last night i was at the mall, i got 2 cd's, the new coheed cd which was basically a waste of money cause matt had it, but he let sarah borrow it, and i love coheed enough to buy their cd again, the other cd i got was 'another year on the streets'it's got unreleased song from bands on vagrant, such as " dashboard, alkaline trio, from autumn to ashes, saves the day<33, hot rod circut, and it's got a dvd..which i'm gonna watch after i'm done writing in here, i also went to americal egal, yeh i know sounds weird, but i needed something nice to wear for a wedding..at least it's not a dress, i hate them!..well i'm gonna go check out that dvd..which should kick ass!..bye

werd

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 16:50:23 GMT

i'm in ogdensburg right now..waiting for becca to come on cause were supposed to hangout, and go night swimming later..with no lights..haha i love that, we were gonna last night but she went to the mall damnit! oh well becca's still awsome..piece

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 22:02:03 GMT

heyy..jacci, kayla, chelsea, omg yesterday was so awsome, haha kayla our kayak kept tipping and snake island (or what ever it is) jumping off, yesterday was the best! you guys are awsome!..alexis we gotta play tennis soon..lol next week should be good

ugh

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 01:21:58 GMT

not in the best mood, lost one of my best friends, and i just dont know why she doesnt understand why i did what i did, well tomorrow's gonna be awsome, thats really all i'm happy about right now, i'm gonna play tennis with Alexis Fischer, college friend, shes really cool, well i'm gonna leave, i'll post tomorrow..bye =/

!

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 21:34:02 GMT

just got home from being in the car for 8 hours, me and brit were in canada..i guess it was fun, there were a lotta hot guys there lol, and this one guy that looked like ashton kutcher (or however you spell it) lmao brit the sink/toilet/shower the SCUBA-DIVER!! i'm talking to kristin right now, she broke up with her boyfriend mike so i feel bad, awe ilu kris and remember SNARK!! ahaha well i'm gonna go on IM and talk to people cause that my life..piece

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 16:41:28 GMT

oh yeah and drive-thru records has 2 new members to the family as they say, adelphi and the other one i forgot, you can listen to adelphi on purevolume, www.purevolume.com/adelphi have fun kids

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 16:24:02 GMT

wow lots of things have been going on, well yesterday was fun i went to the highschool and met up with jackie basciano, and we were supposed to go running, but it was too hot out..so we just started walking, and we ended up at my house and i gave her the cd i got her for the graduation party, then we walked to brits house, lmao that was one cool night..