| Because Patrick is the most hilarious |
[Jul17th20090124a] |
He has come up with an idea inspired but this super douchey article on AskMen.com that was featured on Jezebel:
Ask Men think's You're Fat, Wants your boyfriend to tell you so...
(I highly recommend reading it, although it WILL make you angry: the article should be called "AskMen is a website for douchebags and wants to help guys show their fat girlfriends why she should kick his ass to the curb")
But to follow that, I am a pretty terrible housekeeper, mostly in the kitchen area, I never do dishes, I never mop, the floor is gross and when the kitchen is messy I freak out and hide from it (including not cooking/eating) at home.
Patrick is stellar, he actually CLEANS MY KITCHEN... which is special because he DOESN'T even live here (yet), and although he does contribute his fair share of dishes, he does much more than his share of the work. Back story aside, (and based upon the above article)
I give you "Patrick Thinks your (my) Kitchen is Gross and Wants to Make Fun of ASKMEN.com by telling you so in passive aggressive ways..."
1. Take her to other girl's houses who have really tidy kitchens...
2. When he cleans the kitchen, take a photo and leave "clean kitchen" photos around the messy kitchen, additionally, leave kitchen magazines around open to photos of nice kitchens...
3. Sabotage the tidyness by leaving gooey things around on the floor...
4. Improve your own kitchen (divide the kitchen in two a la "I love lucy" and keep your half really tidy) Shaming facial expressions are a nice touch here...
5. Buy her kitchen stuff that she has no place for since there is SO much kitchen stuff...
... I might clean the kitchen today...
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| Resolutions #2 |
[Jul10th20091101a] |
When I get home I will:
1) Fill my closet/dresser/bookshelf with my new fabulous things.
2) Finish my cards for the art show so that others may have fabulous things...
3) Take all of the non-fabulous things out of my closet/dresser/bookshelf and make pile on bed
4) Sort into Friends/Hush pile, and donate pile
5) Make them be out of my house.
6) Look fabulous every day forever!!! |
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| Cross Posted to my new BLOG |
[Jun28th20091146a] |
So I have finally kicked myself and since I can't use "taking my attention away from my "art blog" which I never update anyways, I have started How To Go Lightly, Because I want to blog about art, fashion, news, pop culture and the like, I think of it as good practice for my future venture with Jes *wink wink*.
I think I'll continue to cross-post entries from there into this journal so you don't have to click all over the place to keep up...
So I am going to write it sitting on my pink couch in my even pinker apron, listening to Le Tigre and waiting for my Gluten Free/Vegan Self-Birthday Cupcakes to finish baking (second batch) so I can put my terrible Vegan-Banana Icing on them.
Patrick took me Birthday Present Shopping yesterday and since the bathrooms at The Rideau Center are disgusting I opted for Chapters, as I was waiting around outside I happened upon this BOOK in the humour section (Which for some reason Chapters has put right outside the bathroom)...
"Friend or Faux: A Guide to Pity Junkies, Creepy Clingers, Shallow Scenesters, and Other Girls Who Will Quietly Destroy Your Life" by Heather Wagner
The author I'm sure has the best of intentions, but I always have an issue with bad advice whether it's marketed as humour or not.
This book outlines types or friends, in a way which, although pigeon-holey is somehow fairly succinct and doesn't go too into depth.
My issue comes not with the way the author categorizes these friends into "Terrorist Threat Colour" categories, but the ones the puts where.
Low threat friends in this book are vapid, flaky and un-infections characters, where as more career-driven self-assured types seemed to be in the higher threat category. Annoying things include talking about DIY as annoying and weird but I guess to each their own... you wouldn't want to get glue on your new Choos, after all...
I'm not going to bother going into a tirade about this book since I only briefly skimmed it, what it make me think of is some of my less (according to this book) "safe" friends and how I think about them, and how they might be friends that you have too but haven't figured out how to appreciate:
The Friend who has the Same Food Allergies as you Friend: This friend is pretty awesome, mine shows up some times and makes me dinner, will taste bizarre "gluten-free-vegan-mud" tasting things that I try and cook, and understands why I'm picky about restaurants.
The Lives Far Away and Likes the Same Stuff as you Friend: I have three of these, soon to be four. I'm not a very good correspondent but I'm trying. These Friends are great for sending you stuff from where they are that they know you will like, and vice-versa. They are pretty great because since you don't see them too often you always have something wicked to catch up on and share. You also get to pick out things that remind you of them so that when you hear a Sarah Harmer or eat a giant sandwich you are filled with happy memories.
The (probably) Older than you who may or may not have made the same Mistakes you Might Make who you can Look up to Friend: Mine also has the benefit of having a really awesome attitude towards life (she'll know this is her because I told her so). So she's someone I feel like I can learn a lot from. I know she isn't perfect either and she makes me feel like I can be less afraid to try new things.
The Loud Center of Attention Friend: Personally I think these are awesome, especially if you need to go to a party where you don't know anyone. If she is more out-going then you are, you might meet EVERYONE and if you're not out-going, that's probably a good thing. I find this girl is as good at diffusing awkward social situations than she is at causing them and hey, it's all about balance.
The Married Friend: So she's totally busy and pre-occupied since the engagement/wedding... that's what email/facebook is for. I learned a lot about how I feel about marriage in general and since this friend is my age it changed my perspective on both the serious and non-serious parts of marriage. In a good way, in the 5 or so hours I spent at the wedding...
The "Boyfriend/Girlfriends's Gal-Friend" Friend: I am lucky to finally have a boyfriend who A) doesn't bitch about me to his friends, and B) Isn't insecure (not very anyways) about me being friends with them. The key to the "boyfriend/girlfriend's gal-friend" is time. One-on-one time, and alone time. You have to see these people as their own wicked-gal self rather than an accessory to your couple-dom or someone to be threatened by (they are often also threatened by you). And one-on-one time needs to apply to both you and them and your boy/girl and them (since they were theirs first).
I think the thing that made me the maddest about this book, yes "maddest" was that it ranked friends by their quantitative value to you. As a rule, you should probably surround yourself with people you LIKE. And a lot of that is YOU being a good friend to THEM. No friend is going to screw you over just because they are a busy Lawyer or kind of a "Slut".
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| This Somehow Says it All... |
[Jun25th20090840a] |
"Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince “Blanket” Michael Jackson II."
(From TMZ)
Oh and it's my Birthday! |
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| It's been forever! |
[Jun21st20091110a] |
So we are coming up on my twenty-third of Birthdays, I celebrated by moving all the furniture in my apartment, re-organizing my living room and moving my studio in to what I refer to as the write-off room. I think I'll feel safer being messy in there, but I do need to find away to un-stick the window so I can glue and paint and do smelly things.
That space (and others) might soon be divided with Patrick's boy things, in September if he decides to move in. I have decided that I need to make the apartment something I am happy with regardless of waiting for him so I am de-cluttering and moving and re-arranging ANYWAYS.
My mom was married last weekend at Lake Louise, it was really nice and now I have two entire families which is kind of cool, a step mom/brother and a step dad/sisters, it's very balanced and Brady-Bunchy but I think it's great, as if my family could POSSIBLY be larger!!
It's been awhile since my last update I suppose. I'll have photos later this week when so I can give Rachael my camera to take BACK to Alberta!
I dream about this garden (4:30):
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| Victoria day recap! |
[May19th20090954a] |
Sunny days are the best!
And Sarah is the best, she's like my big sister, she knows everything about clothes and apples and kitties and she protects me from birds ALL THE TIME.
Sarah and I went to the Art Gallery and saw all the Arts for free museum day. We were going to go see the dinosaurs but neither of us had seen the art in awhile (and they have the best gift shop) Then we had brunch at the black thorn cafe. I had salad with squid and roast potatoes. I cant cook squid but if I could I could make it (Gwen can cook squid but she is gone, she can also make curry... I buy my curry in a little bag and microwave it and then eat it out of the bag while I cry inside, I cannot cook rice by myself... I know you're reading this...). Anyways here are pictures from yesterday.
I fell asleep before the fireworks. |
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| would you like to import coconut records to your itunes library |
[May10th20090708a] |
| [ | hear |
| | Coconut Records - Summer Day | ] |
Photo update from the weekend.
The Capital Clothing sale was amazing. Yesterday I raced to the Ladyfest craft sale clutching my umbrella with one hand and my two dollars in my pocket with the other.
I have never been more disappointed with one of these things. It's been pretty good every year but ever since they came up with a "selection" process all of the stuff has been really boring.
I thought I wouldn't want to go to the Capital Clothing Sale but I got a 2$ off coupon in my email this morning and my mom said "what the hell" over pancaked I made her for breakfast at home.
It was AMAZING! The vintage booths had beautiful stuff without all of the clutter and fuss (and panic-attack-inducing crowds) of the Vintage Clothing sale at the Chateau. The Jewelry and small designers were fab too, not all of them were my thing but most of them had gorgeous stuff. And it was dead dead dead, although it was before noon on the last day so maybe it picked up in the afternoon.
However! The best part of my weekend was Winners where I finally found at least one dress for the weddingthatthedresshastobeperfectfor this summer:
It looks short but it's actually knee-length and the flowers are purple not blue but my PhotoShop isn't working to fix that.
I also found a tailored Calvin Klein cocktail dress in beautiful pleated black satin (very 1950's Givenchy) and a flouncy flapper dress and spent about 120$! WHAT!
How am I suddenly good at shopping?
Also my major triumph today was getting a treat into the kitty, and by treat I mean anti-biotic, and by 'getting' I mean wrapping him up in a towel and squeezing his mouth open and shoving it in and then holding it closed until he swallowed it! ALL BY MYSELF!
Second best part of my weekend Patrick found me at the LCBO:
Best!
And that's all my news for now! (I didn't take any more pictures)! |
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| Almost summer.... |
[Apr19th20090408a] |
| [ | hear |
| | Emilie Simone, Art Brut and The Radio Dept. | ] |
Landsdown park garage sale day: I'm going to listen to it this evening while unpacking my sundresses!
Hoping to spend more time in these, thrift-gifted from Beckeroo! (but she found way cooler ones to replace them!)
Sometimes the best teeshirt in the world will get you through the craziest of Sundays.
I worked my second last shift at the store last night, I just can't do the two jobs six days a week PLUS school gig anymore, soon no more school and three day weekends forever! Today Sarah and Patrick and I walked to Landsdown for the garage sale. I really hope they don't ruin it by building another football stadium, Ottawa clearly doesn't want to support a team and these people who want one sound delusional.
Spring Spring Spring!
I want to buy cut flowers but ouch they're expensive, maybe next week.
<3 |
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