all these blessings

Reach for the sky because tomarrow may never come

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 23:55:47 GMT

wow, life is unpredictable, but friggin awesome...lol....yeah this is a lil something I wrote, just cause I wanted to.

~Love Conquered~

Love conquered the night
I threw accusations your way
Love burned bright
When I asked you to stay

Love conquered the pain
When it hit us hard
Love soothed the wounds
So that nothing scarred

Love conquered the stubborness
We both have to spare
Love hummed through my blood
When you stroked my hair

Love conquered the past
That haunted our lives
Love squeezes my heart
When i look into your eyes

Love conquered the mistrust
That held me back
Love bloomed and spread
To fill in the places we lacked

Love will survive beyond death
When it comes our way
Because love now brings us a life
In a gift we can't repay

and the world keeps spinin' around, my world's upside down and I wouldn't change a thing...

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 21:10:22 GMT

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

quizzes are retarded, but funny.
I am in a class that makes me wish i could watch grass grow...but the teacher is really nice.
my back is screwed up right now :(
i am going to kidnap lori before i leave for mississippi....can you say nachos?
good job.
gosh...i even look like the mood icon there.

[13:21] shortysnowflake: have you taken martial arts?
[13:22] AnnA Reiling: yes i have...but i call it " napping" and /or " eating nachos"
[13:22] shortysnowflake: lol!
[13:31] shortysnowflake: i'll just pin your arms
[13:33] AnnA Reiling: which will be full of nachos...which i will throw at you.

Slipping past you when your back was turned

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 05:54:04 GMT

well, i think that most of my entries are going to be "friends only"....because they are going to be long and boring....but some will still be public AND with cool pictures soon....

anyone else notice how gay LJ has been lately? always make sure to copy your post before you actually post it because it keeps wanting to go into "read only" mode which makes you loose what you wrote..

my toilet is broken, i have to drive to central market right now to go pody....:S....suuuuucks....better not have to go in the middle of the night or I am screwed.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut....

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 14:52:57 GMT

yes i am up early....i wanted to see if lyndsey was still alive and then my mind decided to switch on.

anger is a horrible thing.
this is the usual human process:hurt-pain-anger-hate

when you let things get to the anger part you are already well on your way to where you shouldn't be...hurt happens, pain from it happens ( yes there is a significant difference between those two) and some anger is alright but it can't be stewing anger and it can't be allowed to be acted upon.....whatever you do,not matter how great, if done out of the wrong motivations (such as anger) it is then wrong...on the other hand...if you do something wrong but you had the right motivations...thats just called learning..
I have been blessed, a whole lot...but i continually am challening and doubting that.
to me, i have already irrevocably damaged something important to me...but i know that isn't true because with people and with relationships, nothing is unhealable atleast on some level.

Humbling yourself and being honest is much better then freaking out and shutting down...and you would think the former really is easier then the latter...but somehow it isn't.

alright now i am just thinking out loud....sometimes, inorder to know what to think and how to act you have to break things down to their simpliest form:

1. God is love
2. Christ is in me
3. I am blessed with many things; family,friends,a future, school,job..ect..

conclusion: If i keep my actions as based from love and everything that it stands for, i can't go wrong...but i will stray from that, which of course happens cause we are all human mostly, and i will make wrong choices....but as long as i try my best to bring what i do back to love and faith and hope as best as i can, thats all i can do.

I hate knowing i messed up..i know that is pride, but still...its sooo anooying...shame and anger are a lethal combo....heh, they smell like crap.
I know this post appears to be something that it most likely isn't..its just me thinking and venting and being moody from tiredness really..

testing,testing: 1 2 3

heh

it really doesn't matter if we never sleep. No it really doesn't matter at all....

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 20:39:09 GMT

.....Cause we are so young now, we are so young, so young now. And when tommorow comes, we can do it all again...

wow, someone had the best valentine's day ever.
and mine was pretty great too, hehe.....okaaaayyy...MINE was the best ever.
I got to spend it with almost all of my favorite people in the world, that was so stinking great.
I recieved a dozen beautiful roses and a really cute card....also some lint. :-D
I am so going to get some major laugh lines, more so then I already have...eh, oh well, lol i guess its possibly worth it.
my pops gave me a cute card, i forgot it at the house! that was so sad.
Lyndsey is spoiling me, she gave me a bunch of chocolate candy, and now i am having it for breakfast.
Now, everyone was all cute with giving people valentine's, and i didn't..i half way did some and then cracked under pressure lol...SO, i decided that there is going to be an Annatine's day, and then i can give people the stuff i wanted too...so HAH!

My parents are so weird, wow i love them but....lol...they have to stop getting defensive when kayla and i mock them, cause i mean COME ON, you can't be so silly and nerdy and then expect not to be mocked....and they are getting a little senile i think, its funny.

You know what is difficult? when someone you really care about are really sad or just having a really rough time, and there is nothing you can do about it...you can listen and you can try to encourage them...but...even if it isn't due to any words or actions purposefully of your own, you trigger those bad feelings for them, or atleast sorta become a funnel for them so that you seem to be the primary cause....its sorta makes you helpless unless you choose to unwisely jepordize yourself in order to appease them...that stinks.

i think there was a nuclear war in my room, i am almost afraid to sleep in here cause i think it may start to develope mutants.

anyways, back to yesterday. So, myself and zach actually ate an entire large nachos...it has not been done before unless it was like, four of us girls...i barely rolled out of the booth, and you all KNOW how much i can pack it away...then it was time for the crazy fruits, here is the general concenus:

star fruit: two thumbs way up
ugly fruit: a surprising two big thumbs up also
horned fruit: well, i personally say one thumb up, cause it was fun with all the seeds.

and yes, those are all the real fruit names.

stupid school, i really need to buckle down and start focusing on it better..thats my goal this week, lots of schooling...and possibly next week too.

wow, thinking how things were just a week ago....weeeiirddd....
I need to post pictures from britt's wedding and from the flight fo sho.
I WANT TO BE OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW..i wish i could be outside all the time without freezing to death.
alright, this is the end of this long post too.

I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today ...

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 12:11:14 GMT

..Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right. And though I can’t be with you tonight; know my heart is by your side

WOW, i am really retarded.

my face hurts.

I can't stop smiling.

:D:D:D:D:D:D

i have a valentine :D, and a really darling one at that.

I also have a boyfriend now it seems * gasp* lol...yes i know, that will make some people very confused....oh yeah, he is also my valentine...haha, yeesh i am not a player...anyway yeah, i still haven't said it out loud though....cause, i dunno...its not natural for me to yet i guess...i don't want to jinx it...or have some lame short spurt of a relationship and then wish i could take it back....i don't think that is going to happen though, i really don't.....but yeah, he is a good guy.

i also have a kick butt computer at my apt now. w00t.

i should say what my epiphany was a bit ago, it was this: people only have as much power over how you veiw and feel about your life and yourself as much as you let them ...stuff happens, and it can suck, but you don't have to let it destroy you...people talk about letting go all the time..and it sometimes pisses me off...you just wanna say...YOU go through it then tell me to " let go".... but letting go doesn't mean you don't feel or that you forget...it means you don't let something that happens in your life that is less then positive direct your future.....and if you do your best and try to act out of love and kindness as much as you can ( which of course isn't all the time cause hey, no one can do that all the time) if you do this yes, you can be hurt, but you will have minimal regret...becuase you CAN'T decide for someone else what they are going to do or how they are going to act, you can only decide this for yourself...you are responisble for your own personal desisions...not for other's...so yeah..i could have definealty worded that more gracefully...but its freaking late.

my room is so horribly messy right now..it sucks..i need my lori to come and air guitar to funny music to inpsire me to clean, it worked last time.

work is great, i really like everyone there, they all crack me up....everyone is so weird, its awesome.

its been a year bascially....it doesn't hurt any less...you can't replace someone who you are so close with that they become apart of you...like sisters....i am still at a loss...i have no idea what to do..i have tried, it has failed...i am not done, i am not giving up..i am waiting for direction, for a door to open.

I am going to Mississippi soon, for abiding life ministries training in youth counseling...and hopefully i will be able to got to a missions trip to africa..its cost 3,000 so i need to start working on that...i am starting to go to Pastor Wes' church, the old youth pastor from CMC who i think is really awesome...he really has a pastor's heart...the praise and worship is SO good and the messages have been really great...its been inspiring.

I LOVED MY INDIANA TRIP!

I WANT TO BE A PILOT AND FLY FOREVER

Brittany's wedding made me cry, i NEVER cry at weddings..it was really beautiful, she was so lovely and they both were really cute...his family so rocks...kayla and i went out to chicago with Bob's brothers and thier girlfriends...it was THE MOST FUN I HAVE HAD IN FOREVER...sorry for the yelling..i am still all pysched about it..got really cool pictures....i want to go back..i want to travel everywhere there is lol...i have the traveling bug...gosh though it was so stinking cool... B and B have a really neat house...that reminds me, i need to call her to get the down low about the honeymoon trip....just cause...i mean...i like to hear about tennesse...wow britt is going to embarassed if she reads this lol...

flying is seriously the most beautiful and incredible thing.

britt came and sat at the foot of my bed super early in the morning on her wedding day and i started singing "Girl, you'll be a woman soon..." and she got all laughy, it was funny..and i have some cute pics of wedding and stuff...i got lots of baby time too...her 6 week old neice...so sweet....hmm..getting super tired.

i am getting so sick, and i don't even have a coughing hat!

i went down to the beach the other night, guess what i saw...PHOSPHEROUS!!!!!!!!!!! its back..or atleast it was that night...course that night was a little bit special so it may have been a one time thing for now....but it was so great to see...and there was a sign that said " no clams, no oysters, no hunting fires"...first off..there were clams AND oysters...i stepped on shells that belonged to them both..and when the hell did fires become endangered...yeesh

12 hours, wow, thats got to be some record somewhere, hehe.

i realized something...and i realized this a week ago when things were going really bad, so it wasn't some flighty high i was on.....i realized that no matter what, life is beautiful, and its a priceless gift...things will hurt and things will go bad but it can't take away from you if you don't let it...its ok to be sad and to hurt, but its important to never loose sight that your life is a gift and is precious...there is a season for everything and life is now, life isnt just the future or the past, its every moment....and as seasons turn and bring change, both good and bad...life goes on...here is a quote i heard that i thought was good: "Every story has an ending. But in life, every ending has a new beginning"

in light of the fact it is Valentines day i am going to post the definiton of real love...next time i am posting a seasons thing if i can find it.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

¹If I speak in the tonguesof men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

happy valentine's day everybody!

gah, this isn't going to help make everyone stop calling me napoleanna.

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 09:34:21 GMT

Napoleon Dyanamite
(Please rate my quiz)

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i stole this, deal with it.

Wed, 05 Jan 2005 00:20:23 GMT

One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stake.
- Jack Handey

Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.
- Jack Handey

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.
- Jack Handey

If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape so as not to frighten the dogs.
- Jack Handey

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
- Jack Handey

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
- Jack Handey

I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I was a teenager, I stole a car and drove it out into the desert and set it on fire. When the police showed up, I just shrugged and said, "Hey, progress." Boy, did I have a lot to learn.
- Jack Handey

When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?" When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way.
- Jack Handey

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
- Jack Handey

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
- Jack Handey

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
- Jack Handey

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
- Jack Handey

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
- Jack Handey

The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. "Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."
- Jack Handey

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
- Jack Handey

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
- Jack Handey

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
- Jack Handey

Instead of making me better, you're making me ill

Fri, 17 Dec 2004 09:03:43 GMT

Gosh, i am a copy cat.
so sue me.
I have been working everyday, and when i have a day off i am going to go all serious and type out my epiphany..and about my hickey story from work lol.....but for now i only have energy for quizzes...

i did this one twice...
heh cool quiz...

Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name?
love song:	truly, madly, deeply - savage garden
depressing song:	black balloon - the goo goo dolls
party song:	crocodile rock - elton john
what-the-hell-ever song:	just like a pill - pink
your life	fighter - christina aguilera

Quiz created with MemeGen!

i like this one.....i got celine dion!

Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name?
love song:	my heart will go on - celine dion
depressing song:	scar tissue - red hot chili peppers
party song:	i wanna be bad - willa ford
what-the-hell-ever song:	not nobody's fool- avril lavigne
your life	salvation - the cranberries

Quiz created with MemeGen!

haha..i did it once and it said by best quality was me teeth...this is better

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	lips
best personality trait:	friendly
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	it depends
when will you get married?	November 23, 2011
your kiss is:	fiery
People date you because:	you're hot

Quiz created with MemeGen!

pffff..

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|	18%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|	14%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

awe


dancing is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator


dashboard confessional is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator


truth is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

lol.....w00t there is nothing bad about me.

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	ten
your best quality is	youre fun to hang around
your worst quality is	theres nothing bad about you
this is because	of who you are inside

Quiz created with MemeGen!

lol

What does your t-shirt say? by rejektedrockstar
Name
Age
Fav. Color
Gender
Ta-Da

Quiz created with MemeGen!

haha..cool

Who were you in a past life? by Kat007
Name:
Birthdate:
Favorite Color:
Country:
You were most probably:	William Shakespeare
If not then you were:	Tutankhamen

Quiz created with MemeGen!

woohoo

A feel good quiz by cerulean_dreams
your name is...
your eyes	are dazzling
your hair	is envied by many
your smile	outshines the sun
your body	is wonderous
your hugs	are loved by all who get them
your kiss	is enticing
your love	is forever

Quiz created with MemeGen!

lol, SWEET

What superhuman team you'd be a member of by seductionjunkie
username
favorite color scheme
favorite clothing style
your superpowers:	The ability to breathe under water
and	the ability to read minds
and	nightvision
your codename	The Incredible Muff Monster
your greatest weakness	stairs
your sidekick	sidneyaustin
your own particular idiom	upholding Truth, Justice, and Mercy
your favorite quote	"SUUUUUUUUcker!"
you would be a member of	Justice Guild of The World

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your face is so unclear, I try to pay attention, your words just disapear.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 00:02:33 GMT

I had an epiphany

I am happy :-D

I am going to post it after work

yay

Its a bittersweet symphony, this life.

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 03:54:20 GMT

lol

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	everlasting

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I should not be a copy cat but eh.
i went the the quizmeet. it was fun, anytime i get to hang out with xander,sharalyn,gryphon,keri,jason,loribear,vanessa, and hanna all at once is a super time for me.....all who was missing was my kayla,lyndsey, and zach...but that would just be too much of great people at once.
ryan and dylan have gotten so OLD...it was fun to talk with ryan for a minute and meet molly, she is a sweety.....*whines* it makes me miss coaching sooooo much *ends whine*...but yeah, i couldn't have the job i have if i was coaching too.

I am suppose to be studying for my chem final right now...i was doing really well until the last couple tests...so now i am screwed and will not get the credit i need...but eh, life goes on.

yesterday my boss told me that his goal was to make me cry before he left that day..even if he had to spray the cayene in my eyes...haha, he didn't suceed...he is sooo weird....when he realized that wasn't bugging me cause i know he isn't serious, he started checking me out, cause someone told him i hated that....i don't hate it; it just cracks me up..and then i feel like i am supposed to like....check him out back...or like...say "hi" or something..but i don't know what...one time he was all "don't tempt me anna, i've almost hit on a male stripper. I'll do anything"...i did freak out then....he is funny, but weeeird

david, the other manager, he is so great....i told him he is my adopted brother....he is THAT cool lol.

heh another bittersweet moment: at school today they had irrigated the grass, and the holes in it reminded me of the gooie duck fights hanna and i would have where we would step on the holes and to try to see who could get the most to squirt...it made me smile, the person walking with me looked at me like i was crazy...and i figured that if i tried to explain it, it would sound crazier....and for some reason i still tried to see if those holes would squirt too :-P

if anyone is wondering...

they didn't hehe.

ok i need to go study now. this post is kind a lame.. oh well.

lori's haricut is ADORABLE.

the end

You're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to know more.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 21:19:22 GMT

LOL...i probably should have answered "fish" less i suppose.

Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

I was looking into the mirror to see a bit clearer, the rotteness and evil in me.

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 06:57:08 GMT

you know that little inner voice that likes to tell you, " What did you expect? Thats all you are good for, remember?"

yeah, it should be shot.

the end

In this land of make-believe, dead and dry. You're so cold, but you feel alive.

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 11:24:31 GMT

That song by breaking bejamin just makes me think of a really cloudy wintery windy day....not just because he makes referense to it being cold alot...just how the entire song is set up.

anyway, my 48 hours that ended last night were as follows:

4 hours of sleep...altogether in two nights

5 hours of lecture

3 hours of baby sitting...sorta...other people were present

2 papers

15 hours of working

1 hour of waiting for a bus, in the cold, with no coat.

a bad sinus infection that i had to go to the doctor for cause i was coughing up blood and super dizzy.

and my grandma died. So my dad left for wyoming for the next week......so kayla, lyndsey and i are going to the Shafers for thanks giving and my mom is going to her friend Linda Kliens's.

yeah, so today i slept in alot and then eventually went to work til 1am again.

you know what i was thinking about? loss....sometimes a loss is so great or a pain so overpowering that you can't even morn and process it through how pain and loss normally are processed. Its as if even the act of weeping over it isn't possible because your mind can't even accept it to that extent. Some things can take months and years before even shedding a tear is possible. I believe the main causes of this are the ones you never expected to loose; person(s) that was so much apart of you that living without them isn't acceptable in your psyche and you can't " normally" procces it. . or an event so unexpected that the pain of that can cause you to be unable to fathom it enough to process it through in a " normal" way. The problem is that when things go un processed either because of cirsumstance or choice, it never leaves or gets better. the pain and/or loss can even worsen.

anyway, yes thats something i have been thinking about today.

on a lighter note: SHIMMY FIGHT lol.

i really like my job at dominoes, will have fun stories bout it later

human teddy bears rock, heh.

Why do you weep?What are these tears upon your face?Soon you will see...

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 00:42:14 GMT

...All of your fears will pass away. Safe in my arms, You're only sleeping...

best song ever

*tear*

*misses pony*

i took this weird quiz thing lol...i actually was slightly offended..heh naw not really...

<img src="
you're the cutie! you look adorable just by sitting
there and doing absolutely nothing! boop boop
be doop!

What Pin Up girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla "http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

Christopher Reeves passed away...thats sad, he seems like he was a really neat man.

and i don't know how to segue into anything else gracefully after saying that soooo... gracefulness is out

I got a camera phone. its really great...i have aim on it and i can check my email too.. here are some pics i have taken so far:

my babies

my sissy and lyndsey

a very common sight...i have no idea how i got this pic so large

hehe...my daddy

my dog is obsseeeeesssssed with my mom

my lil pretty sister and her pup

xander wanted a picture with him and me in it...it was so funny. he kept saying " no! the anna with xander" lol

way photogenic cutiepie...gosh i still don't know how the heck i have big and small pictures

also cute

lol!

I know i was going to say something, but i can't remember.

gosh i am turning into more of a nerd then ever before, its great lol...but its not like in that really smart way unfortunately..i still couldn't carry on a nerdy conversation very well.

i think nerdness is great.

and thats why i love my lori so much...haha...*plans a time to come embarass her at a volleyball game ;)*

you know what? homework sucks

er..i mean.....

stay is school....school is important...

but still can suck alot....

but it helps that i know some pretty awesome people who help me with it :-)

heh a dog accidentally shot his owner while hunting lol...wow...that was on the news too...thats an odd story

yeah thats all i got..i should nap.

ps.

kk needs comments on her LJ...its looks all empty

I'll paint it on the walls,cause I'm the one at fault.I'll never fight again,and this is how it ends

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 22:55:13 GMT

..I don't know what's worth fighting for or why I have to scream. But now I have some clarity to show you what I mean. I don't know how I got this,I'll never be alright so I'm breaking the habit, tonight....

So, (other then being addicted to lj because I am having internet withdrawals) I have also been thinking about focus and motivation.

I am soon to be working, have been organizing and figuring out the house stuff, along with insanely hard classes (to me atleast) and TRYING to have some type of christian input (still haven't found a church, but have been going to either my parents or another Home meeting group), along with some letters i recived that make me have to CALL a couple places to figure something on a short deadline..basically, everything is always being a presuure and rushed, and sleep is realllllly hard cause i keep trying to organize it mentally then. ....this means i need to keep focused

two side-stories to demonstrate:

on deciding:
a few weeks ago my family and i went on vacation, we stopped for gas and i went to get gum...it took me fifteen minutes to decide what gum...lol and my family weren't very apreciatve of the wait.

on sleep, heh:
on the way to math class the day before yesterday, as soon as i parked i fell asleep...literally RIGHT after i parked....it was really weird, but i keep doing that during the day cause the sun helps me sleep for some reason..i am not kidding...i sleep best in a really sunny room.

lol, both those things are aweful though...i seriously NEED to pay attention and GO to math...and being unable to pick out gum?!..come on..so...the points are that when it comes to choices, you can't be over critical because it will incapacitate you....and even if it takes caffine, focus on what is important is necessary...sleeping was not important right then, math was...the chioce of gum was not one that needed critical thought.

sooo...where does focus really come from? motivation....paying attention to math and chemistry is really hard...i am not dumb, but math is hard for me to grasp..soo....the movitation for math is that it will stretch and train my brain in areas it is lacking but capable...so the motive is the challenge and the focus comes from that.

chemistry....not easy for me, BUT...it is required and necessary for any type of nursing job, which i want to do..so there is that focus.

work: In order to live at the apt and to live comfortably, it is required, plus free pizza.

BUT, I may have to spend less time with my sister and lori and my family and the internet and miss out on things that could be great..i will still be able to do those things though and still get to see them all and go on the internet here at school :D and i still get to see xander sometimes and i still get to oocasionally go to bible meetings.

when all the resposibilities and pressures and choices suck..i guess there can be comfort if you try to see it as STRETCHING you, not taking away from you..its making you grow i guess...and if you fail at one or all of the things you are trying...then thats ok, cause when one door shuts another opens....maybe you were meant to try again to deepen your dedication or move to something else..

In everyone is a potential to become or do exactly what we were created for...and through our life, things will be thrown in there to mold and direct us for that..but its still a choice...and only a matter of realizing and accepting your particular passion and acting on it accordingly...its the only way to fufillment.

ok, yes...i got all too broad and rabbit trailed ect ect..but whatev

that new user pic i have is of my snakey lynds bought me...its fake but its really cool..i told her i won't get a real one now..it was taken with someone's camera phone...but i don't have my camera back yet so i don't have any of the wonderful snake toy yet, its really cool.

I should never go to petshops alone..i always buy some type of animal..yesterday, another fish...seriously though, i can't help it..i was || this close to buying a: kitten, bunny, little adorable puppy, two birds, a pregnant guppy, and rat babies......yeah, not good.

have you noticed how contemparary artists have theme words?

linkin park: skin
jewel: flame/fire

AH, there are soo many, and they are easy to pick out but i cant think of anymore right now cause i need sleeeeppp, if anyone wants to give me a contemparary artist i bet i can figure out their word....i even started to figure out the why of their word they choose by the concept the word creates...jewel:fire is hipnotic, hard to contain..and well, hippy...linkin park: skin can be veiwed as entrapping and labeling and controlling, (they refer to it negatively often...yeah if i am thinking about stuff like that i have too much time on my hands....

oh quick funny story: my sis spent the night at my apt..then at 6am she woke me up and told me to scoot over..i told her i will just switch beds with her...she wouldn't tell me what was wrong..so i slept on the floor (and got biten by stupid spiders that night)..anyway, that morning she didnt remeber...apareantly she was sleep walking/talking...its soo creepy when she does that...but it was weeeird..she woke me up at 9 and asked me how she woke up in my bed with me on the floor....

yay, math class time....my throat hurts and if full of flem...haha, i bet that was nice to hear.

What would you say to me? If you could talk to me. You could ask anything. I wouldn't mind.....

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 03:27:38 GMT

.........But you're ok with this damaging ackwardness. So i'll just play it say and keep it inside. Boys don't cry. I used to hold your hand. So tight there was no question. But now even when you're near,I never felt so alone.......

remember ya'll when we would play the "boys don't cry" cd/song a biiiillion times over...lol and even though only one song on the mix cd had " boys don't cry" on it...the cd was still dubbed that.......it almost got as much playage as " into the west"...but not quite.

soooo, yeah i was looking back over my other pics posting to remember how i did it.

...

and i had a picture lyndsey had taken of me posted up here.

...

yeeeaaaaahhhhhh...i meant to post the one NEXT to it...stupid photobucket ....anyway, its NOT there now...i *really* need to look over the pics now when i post them...thats freaking sucky.....well, whatever, its gone now.

I am soooo siiiiiiiiick in my throat and head, and i keep bruising everywhere...i stinking itched some spider bite and it BRUISED...and it all makes it so i can't sleep...well, of course after the alarm goes off i am all of a sudden sleepy and tired.....but not when its actual sleep time. *ends whine* so yes..there are alot of pictures and i am going to see if i can post them in groups...this will be interesting or disasterous

I over paragraph lines in live journal, you all have my sincerest apologies...but i don't plan on doing anything about it, cause it looks more organized to me :-D

our trip to merrymer falls :)

me and dad went right down to it

Some xander pictures

I was trying weird things with my camera

Now a kk's bday

(all these sizes are random, i never know what size it shows them as until after i post them)

my pets

azteca with looooriii

vacation at Ocean Shores, mo-peds rock...and the water had like a gold colored dust..it was cool.

yes...they really drove with the dog there...FREAKED me out

NOW the actualy ocean at ocean shores

thats called deathly pale girl about to realize she has a horrible sunburn.

the waves were HUGE once you got out to waist level....they were higher then my dad

my dad and I were the only ones to really brave the water cause it was freeezing...this next pic is us warming our feet in the sand, heh.

there was a wild baby bunny at a lodge on the way home

now the cool kingston beach...my sissy is adorable

lyndsey totally posed me here lol

you cant tell but the phosperous was crazy around their feet

my baby birdy

sissy and her pup

looky in the drawer..its my kitty

my baby guppies before the flukes wiped them out, all but 4...now i have betas too :-D

at the beach with britt, dancin in the water

I got this awesome old camera thing at the rotary auction, I love it

now some of the pictures xander took, he does it really well, but the digital slowness makes it hard for him:

now quizzing ones...i am so annoyed i didn't think to get ones of when xander was "quizzing"

lol

yes, the snapping and insane pacing means i am going to make something up that may or may not be close at all.

I had so much fun at that meet :-D

then i missed my ferry later that night

well i got a zillion other pics but those are the basics of the summer lol.....it takes soooo much time to post pics...right now its 8:25pm and i am finally finished..it better stinking work

I got a disease deep inside me, makes me feel uneasy baby.

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 22:26:36 GMT

good o'l Matchbox 20...haven't heard any stuff from them for awhile

Alright, so.

I keep trying to login to my photobucket account but its being gay and it won't let me.

I am disgolted

yeah you heard me, it a combination of digusted and revolted....and its being "gay" as in its happy to be acting like a bratty site.

Something bite me in my sleep 5 times yesterday, on my leg and hand...i think it was a spider cause it looks all spiderish....thats really really not great at all.

As for moving in, the areas that have created some small conflict are soooo small it makes me happy....if things soooo meaningless are an issue, then yay for us! no big deals...its all rather smooth

I like having a place alot, but man, for now i am really really poor.

chemisty and math are already proving to be ( ready for a major nerdy description?)...they are proving to be like sirens. They lull me into a trance which seduces me to my doom....In normal words: its soo hard to stay awake in class, and if i don't make myself pay attention i'll flunk...and that can't be an option.

But my chemistry teacher is HILARIOUS...that helps....seriously.....if i wasn't so sleepy i would tell a story, next time i will try to remember.

i was driving and a rock hit my windsheild..here is a dramatization

......

(scene): I am driving in my car on the freeway towards school

Me: "Cause alll ooof our tiiiime spent in flaaashes of li-e-i-e-i-e ight!...all you people can't you see, can't you see..."

*rocks hits windshield*

Me: "...how your...( blood curdling scream)....(pause, looks around)....everytime we're down..."

I can name a few people who will have that song stuck in their head now...hahahaha...and that was my master plan

heh, its always weird when you like, scream or laugh or talk when no one is around you....does anyone know what i mean?....its natural, but it still seems odd really....and don't act like you don't talk to yourself out loud when you are alone...

.....

FYI: lori likes the intro song for "touched by an angel."...man you should hear the lungs on that girl when she belts it out ;)

she is going to hurt me now...but i will get revenge by ultra loud cheering at her volleyball game...*cackles*

I guess zach is moving into " the projects"..lol....in a couple months where we live....i am trying to convince kayla to move there, cause that would be so fun....but other then that, i stilll don't know anyone in that place.

well i didn't really have much i wanted to say to begin with, i have been stalling for photobucket to work but it still isn't.

.....

hmmm

checkers anyone?

oh yeah, MY SISSER is back!!!!!! i am so happy...and she brought back cool things too, she had a loverly time and arrived all safe and sound.

moving out has taught me i am a FREAK for organization...its oooooodd

yeah, i am going to nap and make stupid calls that i have to.

seriously, i despise phones, they should all be set on fire.

this post almost beat the pointlessness of the last one

hurray

maybe next time i can think of something actually interesting to rant/topicify ( as in creating a topic out of something)...lol ok i will stop creating words..i have created whole freaking dictionary now.

I am going to go buy some nachos now that i cant afford becuase the craving is driving me INSANE.. :-D

Time passes and it tells us what we're left with, we become the things we do.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 02:55:27 GMT

I am covered in mud.

I was running to class in the rain. It was 1:01pm and class starts at one...and i slip and get covered in mud on my pants and hands. SO, of course there is nothing i can do, and it would take too long for me to wash it off. So i just went in. I still haven't cleaned up or changed cause i havent had time. Everyone in that class (exaggeration) thinks i am crazy now even more so. The FIRST day i had had some beetle crawling on my neck and when i realized it,(after a few people were tslking about it) i just picked it up and dropped it on the ground.

anyway, so i am still moving my stuff and i am almost moved out...for the last week i have hardly slept at all and keep spacing out and my eyelids almost always feel like freaking bricks. but i LOVE the apartment. and its really nice to be busy and around people even though i don't seem to be enjoying it at times, i really really do.

I miss my sissy in australia..she better bring back cool things and lots of pictures.

So part of moving is that i end up wearing the clothes i want to get rid of because i dont want the other clothes getting messed up cause they are all packed away.....so i wore this stupid shirt i hate with a passion aaaaaalll day...its one of those shirts you feel naked in....you know? you feel all ackward being around people or talking cause it brings attention towards you and thats the LAST thing you want when you feel all undressed....yeah well i had school and shopping and xander's bday wearing one of those naked clothes...it was sooooooooo annoying....and then this ferry guy got all CREEPY giving the up down look thing, the one that makes you want to turn ourself inside out..i demonstrated to lyndsey and she freaked, it was hilarious.....yeah ferry workers can be weird at night....i decided to actually just throw that shirt away

Is it weird I love corners and small (not cramped) spaces? I hate large or open rooms. Even on the ferry i HAVE to have a seat with the wall divider thing or i feel all exposed lol....whatever, corners are just cool :D...also nice little rooms are too, where you can really feel the space and walls around you.

Anyway i got to go to the scramble meet to watch xander and i ended up getting quizz!!! it was soo fun. I got one right (because david was just being nice really) and 3 wrong heh. but it was fuuuuuuuunnnnn....i was sad shari didn't get one cause she had studied and all and was really trying....but cutty rocked! so did gryphon...our team all got 4th.

I feel all dazed with the moving and school and soon to be working at dominoes....i keep over planning EVERYTHING now and people are getting annoyed.

You know what i miss? i miss actually having discussions and debates with people about things, basically anything theoretical.

well i am going to go have me some azteca nachos, YAY. only cause mom and dad are treating.

i am SERIOUSLY going to post pics next once i get the quizzmeet ones dowloaded off the camera..then i will have tons and tons of pics to post for the last few months.

FYI: Xander= the most adorable genious ever :-p

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 09:32:47 GMT

haha i had to do this cause lori's cracked me up.

i am going to update with a bunch of pics soon, yay. you have to like, have them at a site on the internet to post them in lj, ect..its a freaking annoying process.

Unleash Your Inner Lawn Ornament
What Is Your Name?
What Is Your Quest?
What Is Your Favourite Colour?
Where Do You Live?
Which Is Best?
What Is The Maximum Airspeed Velocity Of A Flying Gnome Dart?
You Are A	Fiendish And Unnatural Siberian Gnome
You Wear	Blossoms, Berries, And The Skin Your Mama Gave You
Your Biggest Quirk	You Harbor A Secret Love For Trolls
You Are Worth	$3.52
Your Future	Freed From Bondage By The Gnome Liberation Front
Your Picture

This cool quiz by Krykiet - Taken 3787 Times. </a>

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i am copying lori again for fun

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 06:15:13 GMT

these are the different ones i came up with...wow this is nerdy...thanks lori....

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP ARR AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

From Go-Quiz.com

OR

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

ANNA REILING CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS

i love something corporate.....they just plain rock

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 22:37:22 GMT

According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...