My new digital camera I bought last week is too freakin' sweet!

Women are fucking nuts, especially bipolar Salvadorians.

Ninja Gaiden: Black on Hard is my bitch... but I still only placed 400-something :/

Catching up and getting to know someone you havent talked to in years is refreshing.

United States Postal Service's Track and Confirm function isnt worth the piss in Ray's urinal.

Not even the vast expanse of p0rn, emos, goths, and cam whores could keep me from finding Kate Earl.

Kate Earl is an angel sent to earth to sooth my wounded soul, and "Free" is her panacea.

Some people just can't take a joke.

Claryssa went off to college and I didn't really care as much as I thought I would.

Montrey makes me laugh so unbelievably hard.

The Burger King Quad Stacker is a piece of shit burger that easily fits in the palm of my hand.

People tell me my eyes scare the crap out of them...

Sometimes computers bleed for no reason other than to spite me.

Jessica Biel has a ginormous juicy ass worth of a donging from me personally.

Bang Bros. isn't all its cracked up to be, I'm glad I didnt pay for a membership.

God Is An Astronaut's video for "Fragile" makes me hate humanity just that much more.

Even if sometimes I feel I can't stand her, I couldn't see myself living without her.

All the girls I gave a chance to prove themselves to me failed miserably.

"My Dick is so wet I cant even feel it" hurt Crystal's feelings, and I care this much. ||

News to me: I dont give anyone a second chance. :|

I never got around to reading "The Alphabet of Manliness" or "Heart of Darkness" before school began.

Jeraldina sometimes needs a nice swift kick to the ovaries... as do many girls I know.

FedEx's delivery people are worthless, so are their policies

People in general masterfully suck donkey dick and guzzle gorilla cum like Listerine.

I'm Morpheus in this hip-hop matrix exposing fake shit.