Pile on

Why is it, that most of my life is empty. Then, when there's something I really really want to be able to do, the same day is something that although I kinda want to do less, there is not way in hell I could or would miss it?

Damn my little sister for deciding that although her birthday is May 10th, she's going to celebrate it July 31st. And damn this for being the 21st anniversary of her birth, and thus denying me the chance to apologise and just get her an expensive present to make up for it.

I'm starting to think that getting myself to Boston for something that will be over by the time I get there just isn't worth the hassle. Perhaps I'd be better off saving the plane fare and time for something more sensible.

Then, part of the reason for going is to meet up with people. *sigh* I dunno. If I'm not working, I could only go for less than a fortnight anyway. If I am working, I need to get my ass in gear and decide if I am going, to get the time off as a pre-booked holiday. But if I do that, I would probably screw any chance I had of also getting christmas. And if I'm not working, can I afford this anyway? It's looking as if some work I was counting on this month may not be materialising, and Stanley Films still haven't paid me. I'm fucked. Everything is fucked. I'm fed up with this disaster zone I not-so-fondly call my life.