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The PlagueBearer
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the grinning darkness |
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a warm blanket |
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[October 16th 2007|12:22am] |
the lioness, claws out
head lowered
ears back,
has spotted her prey:
a beautiful and wounded fawn.
if only there wasn't the steel fence in between.
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[October 13th 2007|02:46am] |
I thought I had it...
Now I don't know what to think anymore
I can't find the words
My actions fizzle in the rain
I sit here, and nothing ever comes.
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[October 4th 2007|01:12am] |
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You could pull your hand out of the flames, you know.
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[October 2nd 2007|02:15am] |
…in order for us to uncover the deepest faculties of our relationship.
but that is a future for a different time, one where
the metallic taste of a knife guided dream balances itself
upon the edge of a thick and yellow light that
shines through the windows of an ill-kempt house
whose tenants have only managed to ignore
the children inside it more than its upkeep
there are a great many industries here, a pulsing
and repulsing spirit that cannot buffer itself against
the great divide.
too often the resistance of my travels have whipped
strands of hair, needling the face of a
long-forgotten (rotten) banquet, our special for tonight:
loneliness
a general ignorance of how these things work
false apathy, exhaustion of enamored kisses
and the knowledge that we don’t have the stomach for this
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[September 27th 2007|11:17pm] |
oh, moon
your light through the haze-thin clouds
my failed attempts to heal old wounds
but at least i have my wine,
my thread bare and soaked bandages,
and a sense that
the night will eventually end in a rising sun
but at least i have the sting of
this pumping through my veins
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[September 25th 2007|11:13pm] |
it is fading
faster and faster i can feel its energy wane.
i'm left with
a harvest that won't yield.
what a fickle thing she is is
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[September 24th 2007|09:04am] |
just when you didn't think there was life here
we find a thick black slime covering the walls.
oh, well, fungus is better than nothing at all
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[September 22nd 2007|01:47pm] |
I find myself standing in an amber savanna just before sunset, the sky glowing red as the sun tears up for its final descent. Eucalyptus trees cast shadows like paper spiders spinning webs for their nightly meal. The space between the silk and shadow is filled with the buzz of spring; chirping, croaking, caroling. Quickly I conclude the only thing out of place is the thought of being out of place. It’s only moments before my conclusion is proven false. The grass around my feet animates, bends and straightens like fingers on a hand that’s unsure if it still works. Confident enough in its functionality, each blade sinks its tip in to my flesh with the ease of threading ribbon through concrete. The burning was so intense it felt cold, like liquid iron. Claws ascend, up my legs they climb. The ground beneath rises, intent on eclipsing the horizon from my vision and does so with an alarming rate. Soon, the rich earth becomes my world.
It’s been an eon since that evening and I’m still sinking. The roots of kings long since past drag me farther into the future. Layers of sediment tick to nature’s heartbeat. I spend a lifetime pushing through coal in search of diamonds, the very jewels that proceed to bite and scratch at my soul. Let go, I muse to myself. I’ve spent all this time in the mud to find what I’m looking for and what I find wasn’t the answer. I’ve reached the end of the world, the end of time, the end of myself.
I tumble out of the earth into the sky of our imagination. I’m falling so fast that I’m afraid it will end. I’m falling in every direction. I’m suspended in mid-air. Colored cumulonimbus clouds cycle in patterns parallel to the shrinking and swelling of silver streams shimmering against the solstice. These streams eventually meander together until two vast rivers are all that remain. Flower petals of all varieties dot the waters, traveling downstream in erratic path that cause them to collide and blanket the surface. My rapid approach causes me to impact violently on the surface, sending a brilliant assortment of color and glimmering spheres in all directions. The entire sky shatters until all that remains are pinpoints of light, from all directions eyes are winking through the dust of creation.
Something warm and gentle laces around my hand, and there is a swelling that mimics the same sensation running up and down my spine. I’m looking for its source and I notice that the stars have faded, floating beyond time and space. There is nothing left but this feeling wrapped in my chest and your hand in mine, the zenith of my dreams.
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[September 20th 2007|04:55pm] |
what a subtle thing
oxidization of the waterworks
a pipe that slowly rusts
drip, drip
the droplets of thought
their designer was a peculiar one indeed
never paid heed to
pressure
(or the lack of confidence)
without this
the fact of the matter is
liquid never flows up hill
gravity is the constant force on all things
standing water is what i'm left with
a pipe that has been weathered
and a constant
drip, drip
the droplets of thought
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[September 18th 2007|12:50am] |
so between you and me
frustration has been as thick as
the bullshit that comes with it
so now i'm left with a rook
and her words words words
heavy desert weather has left
the oasis of amenity thin
now
heat-stroke has become a dangerous place to be
i feel i've done nothing but swallow sand
finding ways to entomb a ruined plot
it has been quite surprising
how creative i've been in
finding ways to bury my reason
looking back at my trail
i come to notice i've just been walking in circles
in this, i've created something i should have seen
all along
my path has become a door
with a key-hole just big enough
to allow the air of an apology through
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[September 11th 2007|10:00am] |
a mark of the cliche
making a list of seemingly unrelated things
and tying it all together
with some obscure end line.
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[September 11th 2007|12:30am] |
tripping over my own desires
that little prankster has tied
my shoelaces together again
i fall face first
my brain spins in my skull
blood pours from my nose
until all i can taste
is the memory of my own shortcomings
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[September 10th 2007|12:15am] |
i can see it from here
it stretches for miles
that thick haze of ignorance
i wouldn't mind it so much
if it wasn't for the smell
it crusts up in the corners of your eyes
not unlike the opaque amber that forms while you sleep
you wipe it off, but every morning it's there again
i've wondered if i left it there
would it eventually glue my eyes shut?
there i nothing i want more
than this
except maybe
for it to go away entirely.
every day it becomes clearer neither will ever happen
this is all i have left
everything i've invested has backfired
a pact with the devil may have been a wiser decision
too bad he doesn't exist
only the mistakes of the past, present, and future.
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[August 29th 2007|01:27am] |
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A shaded stream, uniform in nature. A tragic thought. It sits at the bottom, a pebble that gets lost in the daily rush of things. But it's always there. Stained glass and the astronaut. Midtones of greyscale madness. To remove the pebble would be to remove myself. This is what it wants. Can a stone have desires? I must be personifying the dirt again. What a life to lead. There is little reason to believe in my salvation. The devil lies in a circle. A river that always flows downstream. That pebble tumbles along with it. Broken glass and the astronaut is gone. All from a tiny stone. Thicker and thicker the gaps become. Such localized thinking is never healthy. Then again, we all hack up that yellowish-brown mucus from time to time.. I must stop living in the water. I must. I must. I can't seem to think anymore. I've let go of the reigns and now the steeds of my soul have run free.. My anger, my pride is too great. An ego is a terrible thing to have. Shattered glass floats freely in the face of an asphyxiated astronaut. All matters of life drained from his corpse, one that will never decay in the darkest spaces he's built in his mind. A gap in the universe. A pebble at the bottom of the ocean...
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[August 27th 2007|11:14am] |
filing away a golden chalice
the dust is carried by the wind
the fingers of insanity tease a word in to the air
a constant reminder of what I’ve done
a constant interpretation of a man
a constant filing of a jeweled cup
filled with golden dust and spit
twinkling in the light of
always ruining a good thing.
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[August 25th 2007|07:51am] |
it’s how clouded our judgment can become
like a drop of milk in a glass of water
swirling into homogeny
it’s how the oak’s survival is dependent on
killing the plant life around it
the might of a statue
it’s how the house glows blue after the morning rain
a rusty gear that refuses to lock:
the daily grind
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[August 8th 2007|10:14am] |
a ghost inside the apple’s core
a prison of seed and pulp
released from your suspension in heaven
Perhaps Newton was mistaken,
The apple tree is the cause of your gravity
but it has no more control
than the burning forest
in which it rests
it would almost seem cruel
that life would be
depended on your survival, and
depended on your death, and
it’s all to put someone else in your position
and even though the ashes of your family
have given you tree and skin
remember life is a cycle
warped, misshapen
perfect in every way
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[May 17th 2007|01:33am] |
a recurring nightmare;
I fear what there is isn't enough,
what isn't there is too much,
and the stakes are greater than I could ever imagine.
Wonder, excitement,
a paralyzing cold sweat
I force my eyes open,
so to awaken from this dream
but there it is, in the back of my mind:
inadequacy
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[May 12th 2007|10:13pm] |
There it is,
what a rather unfortunate chain of events.
the moment gone,
but I still fight the current
there is little else to do but try
Swept away with it all
this is ever-changing
when there is little left you fight even harder
my target may have already slipped away,
no longer to be found
and now I'm chasing shadows
there is little else to do but try
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[May 11th 2007|02:59am] |
and in this vast desert
i raise my head to the new moon
the sky is filled with heaven's lights
night may try to sever me from her beauty
but her glow seeps through
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[April 19th 2007|01:53pm] |
so with the tides;
without her,
chaos
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[April 15th 2007|11:54am] |
this fluid in my veins
smolders deep within
discoloring the songbird
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[April 14th 2007|11:27am] |
My friends, swollen time
flowers that blossom and wilt
forest-spirit sings
courage is all I can ask
beauty is within our grasp
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[April 8th 2007|01:32am] |
Iris petals scattered in romance
another night of solitude spent;
I am trying to believe
but a man can only be stretched so thin
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[April 3rd 2007|05:29pm] |
The wind whispers her song in my ear;
there's one tune I could live without.
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[March 26th 2007|08:37pm] |
our legs fail us,
our muscles have grown too thin.
how desperate we become when our hunger thrives
a parasite that swells in size
sits upon an empty chair in a room with no walls
quite a clever prison we've built over time
of teeth and bone and laws and lies
our death is at the end of every hall
...but we swallowed it anyway
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[February 19th 2007|12:53am] |
Children of God
Gods of Children
O! How I yearn for our ignominy to shine in our mirrors
Even this ignorance is empty.
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[December 21st 2006|02:13pm] |
she wanted things to return to their feral state
but how can something be unnatural if nature allows it?
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[November 24th 2006|05:04pm] |
Empyrean, she
bears down upon me
coercing its way into my every pore
a great fervor stings my skin
surface tension
the sun is setting and all i see are shades of
red, orange, pink, madness
a lone statue
the overseer of the desert we've become
crumbles
disappears into the sands
of an ocean named creation
and decay
a simple medium
coupled with her oppressive sky
for which Sol can retreat
so a silhouette of the world
could cover my field of vision
and any attempt to consolidate
our difference of opinions
only leaves pinholes of light
and ironically enough
a valid scope for which i try to navigate
but the map i've clutched so tightly is useless
ignorant to any reasonable viewpoint
the lunatic's grin
teeth spinning wayward
was once a part of me
this is the impact she had
in my attempts to solidify
catastrophe
an alien miscalculation
which is inexorably tied to
decay and
creation that named the ocean
for which the sands disappear
reconciling
the overseer of the desert we've become
a lone effigy
crystals of her winter
splinter beyond my boundaries
the exodus is near
madness, pink, orange, red
these are the shades i conduct
as the birth of Sol begins anew
bearing down upon me
she, Empyrean
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[November 21st 2006|03:04pm] |
academies swimming past your feet
and the medium's skin hugs tenderly
your river of tears so you didn't recognize this.
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[November 7th 2006|03:18pm] |
There she was;
blue and white marbled with
misguided fools
with a ghost of a chance
that anyone will ever see what I have sought
why has my strength left me?
it's that simple prestidigitation
that we all want to be lost in
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[October 30th 2006|01:27am] |
her scales hang like dew on a widow's web:
gavels drop in perfect canon
the harmony of a siren
can you hear the bells?
pause and listen for them
for your paradigm is worthless
rings of contrast on your lips
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[October 11th 2006|08:40pm] |
...and in our rapacity
we sever thread by thread
the very cord that halts our descent
consuming them by our own pathetic deeds
eventually, this frayed rope will snap
and send us unto our well-earned abyss
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[October 6th 2006|04:13pm] |
I slip between the spaces under the cover of darkness
eyelids shut tightly
stumbling about this maze of wonder
wondering when these monsters will finally reach me
after I finally strike a wall
when their claws sink deep
I'll have no one to blame but myself
by pulling the covers over my head
I've shut myself out of the light
I've shut myself out of you.
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[October 5th 2006|02:34pm] |
Clouds are soothsaying
while it is raining within my heart
the animals drink from the puddles that form
the angels sing their songs of thunder
these liquids overflow
it shows in my eyes
silence
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[September 26th 2006|01:19am] |
Does it really matter where it started, how it will end
Shards of glass on the asphalt twinkle in the moonlight;
The world has reversed its axis
I walk amongst the stars
Reflections of our own luminescence
The only seperation is the one we create
Fleeing from Hell, Striving toward Heaven
We wind up exactly where we belong
It's right where we started,
It's right where we'll end.
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[September 6th 2006|10:37am] |
every river comes to a conclusion;
to mix in to the ocean
so as to spread far and wide
and in this fruition
it has acquired something larger than itself
yet it hasn't gained anything it didn't already have
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