she's destroyed the boys of the east coast...

_anndisaster @ 2006-01-21T18:26:00

2006-01-21T23:26:09Z

ahah.
I'm getting hideously mangled tonight.
I'm reading "Candy" by this chick Mian Mian & the translation is so godawful. Ugh. SURRIOUSLY. It's cold out, kind of. It was really beautiful this afternoon. I made $19 in 5 hours. Hah. My life sucks. It sucks being having no money. Oh well. It kind of gives this sort of- fight to survive mentality. Like, heyy, this costs a dollar but I'll steal it cause I need the money for cigarettes which are nearly impossible to steal & yeah. Now I'm not making sense & I need a shower so goodbye.

I am > god.

_anndisaster @ 2006-01-20T18:18:00

2006-01-20T23:24:27Z

i knowz i never write in here. so fine. okay. i'll do it.

lately my life has consisted of this:
- dreading school
- going to school
- dreading work
- going to work
- dreading yearbook
- not even bothering to show up at yearbook
- reading. day in & day out.
- hanging off of my bull matt boudwin's face
- having ugly hair
- taking pictures of my ugly hair
- writing.
- watching the golden girls & singing the theme song manically.
- eating.
- sleeping.
- breating.
- counting (i do it a lot & it's reallllly annoying).
- making prank phone calls
- doing homework
- half-assing
- lollygagging
- etc.

i take pictures of myself whilst shitting at wawa.

my peoples.

i miss her.

oh yeahz i dyed my hair.

i was talking to someone. no. i don't have downs syndrome. anymore.

yes. i multitask.

oh yes.

my cat looks like hunter s. thomspon.

the end. thank you.

_anndisaster @ 2006-01-05T00:39:00

2006-01-05T05:39:23Z

(& today I missed her a lot)

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-30T13:36:00

2005-12-30T18:46:21Z

70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME--

1. DO YOU SNORE? no. sometimes i talk, though.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? lover.

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? premature death.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? no

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV? same as i think of tv: shit.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? not really.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? no. i had baby anorexia & looked like a boy.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU? hah. no.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? black & white

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? no. not really.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? i've been jumped. no. not even that.

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS? i have no talents.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? europe.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY? no. not even once.

15. HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI? yes.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"? yes. it wasn't even that good.

17. DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE? it's a fable. but sure. why not.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A
TOOTSIE POP? 4 if you've got a big tounge.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS? actually, yes. that was going to be my hidden talent but i found it too mundane. which you just proved.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE? yes.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? ugh.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? probably. yes. i think so.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yeah.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO? dentine gum. but i chew it constantly.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"? i say it a lot. i said it about thirty times last night to matt.

28A. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE? no & thank god.

28B. ARE YOU REGULARY SARCASTIC? nooo, never.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? yes. even the ones on tv. from shows that i never watched or particularly liked. i don't know why.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? the whites, please. or not at all.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB? just matt. & he's not even blonde.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? mars?

33. WHAT TIME IS IT? 1.42pm

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME? yes.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING? yes.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? yesterday.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? showers.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL? yessir.

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED? sometimes.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? sometimes.

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? caffeine, cigarettes, chapstick.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? creamy, fucking idiots.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? no thanks.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? yes.

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY? once.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE? for some people, yes. for me, no.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? blue.

49. WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? ohgodohgod. three days ago?

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? not particularly today. tomorrow, maybe.

51. WHO'S BETTER? jessica simpson.

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC? i can guess when songs will be on the radio. but otherwise, it's limited to useless things.

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"? yes.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? yes

55. HAVE U EVER STOLEN MONEY? yes

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? no

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? yesh

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH? no.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? sometimes. not really, though.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND? no. blowjobs are.

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? that's a stupid question. who ever wrote this is semi-retarded. ugh. seriously.

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? yes. why not.

63. DO YOU MAKE ALOT OF MISTAKES? yes. but no. i'm infallible. which i probably spelled wrong so yes again.

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? it's always cold.

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? water & a piece of bread. what a weirdo.

66. DO YOU WEAR HOODIES? right now, actually.

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMRCIAL? all of them. but esp. macy's commercials.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE? no. not even once.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT? i'm listening to jeff buckley right now. but that's it.

because your candle burned too bright.

2005-12-27T20:24:44Z

you don't deserve to be lonely
but those drugs you got won't make you feel better.
pretty soon you'll find it's the only part of your life
you're keeping together.

told her not to worry, it was just a shooting star.

used to be one of the rotten ones & i liked you for that.

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-26T14:14:00

2005-12-26T19:21:45Z

"Very well, I will marry yu if you promise not to make me eat eggplant."

In other news, I'm a:
- Fatherless child
- Lush
- Complete idiot.

Thank you for your time, America.
Good night.

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-17T20:19:00

2005-12-18T01:19:02Z

In the year I resolve to:

Catch a sexually transmitted disease.

Get your resolution here

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-17T20:12:00

2005-12-18T01:14:46Z

Dear everyone,
My life has gone to shit. I stare at walls for hours on end. I fear that I am slowly but surely going insane. I live for the weekends. I live for the feeling of sobriety slipping away. I live for the slipping away. & it's inherent. It's accepted. Everyone goes crazy, a little, sometimes. But this anger, this confusion, this fury of insanity is adament-- it tugs at all of me & ruins what I've become & worked so hard to emulate, what I've polished insistently-- the trophy on an arm, the smile feigned from ear to ear.

I am ruined.
I am ruins.
I'm pretty much hoping that I'll catch cholera these days & not have to go to school, or work, or pretty much, wake up.

I'd much rather knit & read then spend time with anyone, ever.
That's it.

Hope everyone is doing grand.

& it also sort of sucks that I look like a racoon.

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-09T10:53:00

2005-12-09T15:53:54Z

hahaha snow day motherfuckers. & the christmas dance was delayed! what of it?

who wants to get crunk tonight?

♥ annie

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-04T13:39:00

2005-12-04T18:42:34Z

So yeah.
My head smells like a perm.
I have somebody's cellphone.
A lot of hair ties, barrettes, gels, etc.
$23 that I don't know where it came from.
2 packs of menthol cigarettes (I don't smoke menthols. ever.)
& a pounder of natty...
all just chilling in my purse.

So then I thought back- way back- to last night. & yeah, now it's all making sense. I set my hair on fire smoking weed. Right. & I was stockpiling beer. & the girl who got pissed at us for making popcorn in her house for no reason-- that's whose cellphone I have. She pissed before me & figured, hey, it's my house, I can leave my shit in my own bathroom, right? No. Wrong, bitch. The minute you deny a drunken army of people the right to chow down on popcorn, you've crossed the line, bitch.

So yeah.
LESSON OF THE DAY, KIDDOS:
DON'T DRINK & SMOKE WEED CAUSE THEN YOUR HEAD SMELLS GROSS & YOU NEED TO GET A WEAVE CAUSE YOUR HAIR IS ALL BURNT OFF.

ps. Dan Johnsen is my life.
pps. Last night was beautiful.

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-03T19:24:00

2005-12-04T00:24:54Z

Yes you caught my eye as I walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was fucking high.
& I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

everything is gonna be alright. rockabye.

2005-12-03T03:19:27Z

December 2, 2005

Hello.

This letter might be bizarre & completely unprompted but I thought it would be nice to write, and maybe even to read, considering the holiday season is coming up. My grandparents used to live in your house. After my mother & father divorced, my older sister, mother & I lived with them. I remember spending so many summer afternoons in the backyard, hanging my clothes on the line & letting them dry in the fresh, summer air. My first pet, Ariel-Kate, a goldfish, is buried in the backyard where my grandfather grew tomatoes. My grandmother was an amazing chef. She made legendary sugar cookies. My grandfather was the old-fashioned sort. He was quiet & always seemed sort of stern. He had a hard life- he grew up during the depression & wanted us (my sister & I) to appreciate our lives. We had a really special bond. I used to draw him pictures when I was a kid & he would tell me that he sent them to an art collector named Vincent & he’d give me a dollar that I would spend on candy or something silly. After he died, I found the pictures in the bottom drawer of his dresser. My grandmother was probably the sweetest lady I’ve ever met. She always went to mass & prayed for everyone. I’ve never been particularly religious but I’ve kind of been the same way-- I’ve always sort of thought of people that I’m not too close to or that I’ve never met & hope that their lives are going well. My grandmother died a year, to the date, after my grandfather. They were incredibly in love. For a while after they died, I couldn’t drive down your street. I couldn’t deal with seeing the memories: the front porch where they sat during the summer with the white pillars that I would lean up against & get that white-powdery stuff all over myself or the pink bathroom with the medicine cabinet where my mother kept Neosporin for when I skinned my knees playing with my sister. I guess the reason why I’m writing this letter isn’t to go on & on about myself, it was more of a little special intention for you. I hope your house is making you as happy as it made me. I really hope your life is great & that you can get as much out of it as possible. I know we’ve never met but I kind of feel like I know you because I spent such a large part of my life in your house. Happy holidays. I hope this holiday season you are truly happy & realize the love & joy of a family. Although my grandparents are gone now, I still remember them & think of them all the time. I’m not trying to sound bossy or anything, but please don’t let precious time slip by without telling your family how much you love them & how much they mean to you. Family is the most important of life, remember that. If you have children, remember to kiss & hug them whenever you get a chance. If you can, spend as much time with your parents as you can. If they aren’t with you anymore, I’m sure they know how wonderful you are, & I’m sure you are. I’m not crazy, I promise. I hope you don’t think that. You don’t need to write back if you don‘t have the time or don‘t want to, I didn’t write this letter for that reason. I just wanted to let you know how important your house is & was to me. I hope that it means just as much to you & your family.

Happy Holidays.

- Annie

old school tunes.

2005-12-02T22:56:58Z

Today is nice. It's a Friday & I have no particular plans & my cellphone is off & I'm relaxing, completely & finally. I've broken out some of my older CDs. Hello, old Alkaline & Brand New. It's nice. I'm in a pretty great mood. I've been writing again. I think it's going away again. I mean, indefinitely, it'll lurk back... eventually. But I'm enjoying now & I'm excited, for the first time in a while.

The State of the Union:
Shit is well.

Rachel Koski, if you're reading this, I miss you, yo.

_anndisaster @ 2005-12-01T18:39:00

2005-12-01T23:45:13Z

So fuckheads, I lied.
Pretty much, I went through my old journal & there is this whole omgana shit that I don't feel like deleting because it's far too depressing & I figure, hey if i feel like going back to the dark side (syke)- but no faux realz, I figure maybe I can use some of the well-articulated shit that I sometimes put in there into something that I'm writing now. So I'll peruse that shit.

ANYHOW.
UM YEAH.
LEMME SEE.

Shit sucks. My guidance counselor thinks that anti-depressants are the way to go. Probably, right? Um. My entire family was eaten by black bears? & keith picked me up from school today. & my arm still hurts from doing needle drugs, i mean, giving blood. I don't get anything done anymore. YAY!

Okay.
But seriously.
Now.

I've decided that all this skinny shit is retarded. Completely retarded. You live once. ONE TIME BUDDIEZ. & why the hell do all of us stupid fucking women sit around trying to imitate a corpse? I'm bringing on a fat girl revolution, bitches. Imma gain thirty pounds & make all dem men love me. Fuck dat sheeeyat. Anyhow. I'm retarded. I don't deserve words. At all.

- Forever? For really?
- Sure. Whynot.

OKAYBUTNOWIT'STIMETOSENDOUTTHEDREADED....

COLLEGE APPLICASHEEEYONAYS.

My essay for St. Joes?:
Sup,
Gimme money. thanx4dat. i shoot minorities & smoke dat chronic. i fuck bitches with ten inch dildoes. respek.

ps. can you even pluarlize dildoes? nah. no. not ever.

sux.
<3!

"One for me & whatshisname, my new best friend."

2005-11-28T22:09:17Z

I don't write here. Recently, I've made my business rather private. I have another journal- an alternate one. I will still make posts here, in fact, sooner or later I'll probably write mainly here. But right now a lot is going on & I don't necessarily feel like sharing it with the galaxy. Either message me on LUXMAGNIFICAT on AIM or leave a message here with your username if you'd like to be added to it. I won't add everyone. Everything is well-- don't think that I'm slipping back, because I'm not. I just have very personal things going on & honestly, if you'd like to hear them- leave me a message or tell me somehow & I'll try to add you to my other journal. Otherwise, I'll still be making the meaningless posts here until shit settles down.

- Annie

"I'd like to raise another round,
Help yourself to mine-
Thank you for your time."

& that's why we have thanksgiving.

2005-11-24T19:43:33Z

_anndisaster @ 2005-11-23T14:25:00

2005-11-23T19:25:22Z

i don't write anymore
& i think it's for a reason.

_anndisaster @ 2005-11-08T00:25:00

2005-11-08T05:26:12Z

it's nothing that i'd recommend
but it is one way to live;
whats so simple in the moonlight by the morning never is.

Every me & every you.

2005-11-03T21:32:35Z

I've never been so overwhelmed with school work.
My college applications aren't done,
I copy other people's homework five seconds before class,
I have the best intentions to get shit done--

But when your teacher assigns you 100 pages to outline every single day... it's kind of hard.

"pucker up for heaven's sake, there's never been so much at stake."

- Annie

_anndisaster @ 2005-10-31T01:18:00

2005-10-31T06:20:01Z

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, YOU BITCHES!!

I am morally opposed to lj-cuts.

2005-10-24T21:25:28Z

jess fed me beer.

but i still am straight edge, am i right?

dan johnsen is god.

hates having fun

favorite face.

i was fo' real licking her.

Jenright is for lovers.

le wasted avec mon chat.

i don't drink.

i love jess enright.

models.

i suck at taking pictures.

i love prendie.

i ate my camera?

msb & muh momz.

that's my father.

in the limooo.

my history notes.

_anndisaster @ 2005-10-20T01:16:00

2005-10-20T05:19:23Z

So I'm just a medicine you take when you're sick
You get well & that's it.
I'm put back on the shelf in your mirror.
& it isn't exception, the course of our fate-
people love & they hate,
& i guess that it's just all turned to hate.
& you were just some song i wrote,
a poem on a page.
a sculpture i made out of clay,
desire was the flame
but now you're more of a basketball
boys just pass you around
bounce you hard on the ground-
& dribble,
then we all get high fives.
& you think i'm an asshole now
well you're probably right,
but at least i'm not blind to the facts
i've been wishing were lies
still i hope you get everything
that you care to posess
& unbelievable sex with him, or any one of my friends.
but just don't ask about my appetite
i didn't lose it tonight
it's been gone half my life
it's just i, i've been eating for you.

_anndisaster @ 2005-10-16T14:15:00

2005-10-16T18:24:38Z

HEY YOU GUYS, the internet is not real life. When you come home & sit down to chat with your little myspace buddies, you aren't communicating. You are taking part in the destruction of communication. If you have, in fact, gotten into a fight over the internet, you are a douchebag. If you only communicate with your friends via the internet, they are not your friends and you need a fucking life.

Honestly, bringing up myspace several times in one conversation with someone or calling someone to say, "HEY DID YOU SEE MY NEW MYSPACE BLOG LOLZ"-- all of this is perfectly unacceptable. Also, addressing someone that you are meeting for the first time with, "Hey, aren't we friends on myspace?" is disgusting. I won't talk to you.

It's really bad when the only way you can keep track of your friends is by checking their away messages or depending on some sort of phony communication to tell them what you really think of them, etc.

If you are hanging out with your friends & bring a digital camera to TAKE PICTURES FOR MYSPACE rather than savor memories, you're a fucking sicker fuck than I thought. This is all way too pathetic. I'm sick of having conversations about people's fucking myspaces. I'm sick of seeing this fucking hideous girl who is like, MS. SCENE on the internet in the hallways. Oh wow, her photoshopped pictures do her absolutely no justice for, in person, the bitch is about fifty pounds overweight, doesn't refer to herself as "tres hardcore" & doesn't have her hair perfectly done & the contrast so fucking high that you don't see the crater-sized pimples on her face. This bitch posts little bulletins every thirty seconds saying, "LOL GUYZ OMG COME OVER & TAKE MYSPACE PICZZ WITH ME." Your life must be devoid of meaning if you depend on fucking technology to some how service you with friends, a personality & this alter-ego of beauty that you can only get with forty-five minutes of a fucking photoshop tutorial.

610-789-5845.
That's my number.
If you really want to "HANG OUT" & talk & whatever, call it. But don't you dare send me all these little gay messages about "omg ur so pretty dunt u miss teh old dayz when we had pre calc 2gether?"

No.
None of that.
I don't mind keeping in touch via the internet, but the second it becomes this involved process where I'm like "OH SHIT I DIDN'T COMMENT HER PICZ TODAY SHE'S GOING TO H8 ME," I request to be shot.

Stop it, douchebags.

_anndisaster @ 2005-10-14T18:05:00

2005-10-14T22:05:25Z

Tis my life.
Tis pathetic.

_anndisaster @ 2005-10-12T10:22:00

2005-10-12T14:22:34Z

any thoughts?