Monday, June 8th, 2009
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1:29 am
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I have spent the start of my birthday with insomnia... yeeeah. all right.
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
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8:32 am - Now it's time to stand alone.
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It's been ages since I posted, though I am posting with sad news. On Friday, my mother suddenly passed away. We are not definately sure, but it has come to my belief that she threw a blood clot in her lungs.
I feel like it's my fault. I had left for work early.. and I didn't get her phone call until twenty minutes later. I had locked the doors and the paramedics could not get in. They had to sent a woman from the Humane Society through the bathroom window to control our dogs.
But she was already gone. I should have stayed home. I should have left when I normally did.. and I would have been here.. and maybe, I could have done something... anything.
I've have been going through the emotional process. I am slowly believing that she is better off now.. she won't have to go through the pain of chemotheraphy and surgery. She was diagnoised with brest cancer over a month ago. They took off both her breasts and inserted expanders to place implants in later after chemotheraphy. She had surgery Thursday to take out the expanders because it seems like her body was rejecting them. They also inserted a port for the chemotheraphy.
I have been scared for this moment. The moment I have to stand up alone. My mother, like most mothers, have always been there taking care of you and making sure you were all right. I loved my mother and I hope she is in a better place with my brother and my father. I don't want her to be tired and in pain anymore. I don't want her to worry and be sad anymore. I hope she is proud of us, of how well we are trying to do. I hope she can forgive anything that would have been done against her. I wishes she can forgive me for not being here. I know I can never forgive myself.
Veiwing: Tuesday, May 5th between 7-9p
Funeral: Wednesday, May 6th at 11a.
Both are held at Kurtz Funeral Home.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
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11:02 pm - What.
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I cried a little after finding pictures from about six years ago.
Nostalgia is a funny feeling that wraps your heart in sandpaper.
It only feels fine when you don't move at all.
.. I miss them all. I really do.
( The Irish-Germans reign. )
current mood: Cold
current music: Bones
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, October 20th, 2008
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9:03 pm
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Max Payne was good, surprisingly.
.. and because of that movie, I remembered how hot Mila Kunis can be...
WITH A GUN.
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
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6:30 pm - I stoles it from litzi-chan.
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| That Personality Test :: Your Results | | The latest personality test from ThatSurveySite... now featuring more and better questions than ever! | | | | Emotional (57%) | [.........|..........] | Logical (43%) | | Concerned about self (54%) | [.........|..........] | Concerned about others (46%) | | Atheist (96%) | [.|||||||||..........] | Religious (4%) | | Loner (65%) | [.......|||..........] | Dependent (35%) | | Laid-back (32%) | [..........||||......] | Driven (68%) | | Traditional (26%) | [..........|||||.....] | Rebel (74%) | | Impetuous (53%) | [.........|..........] | Organized (47%) | | Engineering mind (43%) | [..........|.........] | Artistic mind (57%) | | Cynical (70%) | [......||||..........] | Idealist (30%) | | Follower (43%) | [..........|.........] | Leader (57%) | | Introverted (42%) | [..........||........] | Extroverted (58%) | | Conservative (34%) | [..........|||.......] | Liberal (66%) | | Logical (37%) | [..........|||.......] | Romantic (63%) | | Uninterested (38%) | [..........||........] | Sexual (62%) | | Insecure (48%) | [....................] | Confident (52%) | | Selective (20%) | [..........||||||....] | Tolerant (80%) | | Pessimistic (82%) | [....||||||..........] | Optimistic (18%) | | Principled (25%) | [..........|||||.....] | Pragmatic (75%) | | Tolerant (29%) | [..........||||......] | Opinionated (71%) | | Humble (40%) | [..........||........] | Elitist (60%) | | | | Take the test! |
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, November 24th, 2007
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5:08 pm - i fangirlz.
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YaY! They're animating Vampire Knight!
They were so smart to wait awhile!
ANN
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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2:07 pm - we will never forget.. all the pain.
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I want to say something, something throughtful and with meaning. Something that will make someone stop for a moment and go, "That's right.." or "I think I understand.."
But, I can't think of anything like that. I can only think of the guilt and shame I've held over the years.. the regret that I wasn't there to do anything about it. I wasn't there to stop them from leaving.
I woke up crying this morning at exactly 1.32.. and again a few hours later. I cried the whole time I got dressed to the time I got to work.. and then I cried some more.
I hold too much emotion. I hold too much feeling with no way to release it. It makes it worse that today is also a day for an American tragedy.. and I also cry for those who died.
I am merely a spec on the globe. A mere dot and nothing more to the millions of people in this world. I know that there are many people out there who understand how I feel.. on a day that is now shared with the world over.
I miss my brother.. and I hope he still watching us.
current music: From Autumn to Ashes - Short Stories with Tragic Endings
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
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10:29 pm - Well, bloody hell.
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Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
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8:40 pm - Bored.
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Saturday, March 10th, 2007
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3:23 am
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Holy fuck.
300 was AMAZING.
NO font size can describe my enjoyment. I am so down for seeing it again tomorrow.
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(comment on this)
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