Real life is getting more like fiction each day

Dear Mrs Jones- Reynolds,

It's been a good nine years. I will miss you. I was so looking forward to seeing you on The View with Joy and Rosie O teaming up against you, that would have been brillant.

I hope you stay in the public eye, so I can see your complete transformation to alien. Are you the real father of Suri? That might be the only way for you to stay in the papers, because you don't cross Barbara Walters and except to work again.

Remember Jesus loves you, as does your gay husband and the tens of people who are your fans that you had to be honest with and tell the real reason for your departure from the show.

You really are a star Starlet and I hope you continue to Shine. If things don't work out with Al, give Kevin Nubanks a rings and you could team up to kiss ass.

XOXO
Amy