|
|
its fun to fake romances*
|
|
|
| .... |
[13 Aug 2009|08:44pm] |
Let me start off by telling you all that it is very surreal posting on LJ after all this time...but I just felt the need to write about some things that have been haunting me lately
I'm absolutely devastated my best friend Kate left me and before that my best friend Mike who coincidentally discovered they knew eachother and more recently became engaged.
I met Kate through my cousin Brissen, I never imagined we'd become as close as we were or that she even knew Mike but from there everything just seemed to fall into place. It was my favorite chapter in my life since I've been back in Jersey...I finally felt like I had made new friends here that I'd carry with me throughout everything (and I still do- please don't get confused)...a group I could finally belong to without all the immature bullshit I've encountered...
Bottom line...I'm gonna miss it all. The late night trips to Paterson- the bar, the diner, DOMINO'S, waiting for Mike to get out of work at Babies R Us at midnight...our parties, New York City trips in the blistering cold right in the dead of winter. I'm going to miss it all, and while its not over, and while I do realize I'm speaking as though these great friends have died (god forbid)- its a new chapter for us all, a crossroad...
Catch is- I was never ready to close the old one. and I never saw Iraq in any of our futures, or an engagement, moves to Florida or even a GOOD BYE. Its something I've dreaded for the longest time but no matter how mentally prepared I could try to make myself i would never believe it.
while we've grown up so much in the past few years of knowing eachother my favorite memories were with YOU ALL. If i could go back and re-do it all I would just to have those moments there with you before all this change...and while in ways we will always have our connections and our memories we've changed, and grown up in adults and its a premature pill to swallow.
I know we'll always be friends...but i also know youll never come back here...not jersey- not this place and its killing me...its eating me alive driving these streets we've traveled a hundred times together knowing its all in the past. It happened all too quickly this crossroad we've come to and I wish you all the best and while someday we'll all meet again like old times and talk about all the times I've been writing about I just need to figure out for myself....whats next?
|
|
|
[31 Jul 2008|07:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
there are no words to describe what i feel lately...especially what i feel with myself...
though so much has happened in the passing year, not a day goes by where i don't think of what it was like before the new chapter in my life opened...im appreciating my photo albums so much more now, they serve as missed memoirs...
nothings ever been good all the time, but things now have reached breaking point...im alone...im sad- i have been for a long time, but most of all im scared...
this post is a call not necessarily for help-because i dont believe anyone can help me anymore nor can i help myself...but please let me know is anyone still out there? i just need to know someone familiar is still there...in the meantime ill try and mend the pieces back together...
|
|
|
[24 Jun 2007|07:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
i miss livejournal.
i finally got what i wanted, moving back to jersey, and starting a wonderful new life. well, why it [so far] has fallen short of wonderful, i still have hope that i can turn things around for myself up here.
i've been looking for work, i never realized how hard it was, still no luck [but i'm ok with that,shhhh], i got into a minor fenderbender accident but i still blame the other guy, i mean he WAS parked in a really bad spot. family life has been calm, im lovin' it. My mom was up here visiting and left yesterday, needless to say i cried relentlessly all day and night. its hard for anyone saying goodbye to their parents for months at a time. im worried about her more than anything. but i have faith...
i need to make changes...i wish i had the balls to make them...
oh and btw- if anyone actually comes across this let me know how youre doing where you are...id like to keep in touch...
|
|
|
[27 Mar 2006|11:43pm] |
so i met a nice boy over break but for some reason idk, i have this terrible feeling im gonna get hurt, im starting to miss being single but by now ill be hurt eighter way, what should i do? =[
jersey was wonderful as always i always make a big dramatic scene at the airport waiting for my plane to board, and swear im gonna run away right then and there but i never do...
^Karens dad made an AMAZING point this morning that were "on a downward fall to summer" its ALL downhill from here and that feels nice... and as long as i keep reminding myself of that, itll be ok i know it.
so im staying home tomorrow, school makes me sad, i dont like being there...i NEED the summer, ugh less than two months left, im so pumped then 1 year till i say goodbye to FLORIDA forever!!!!!!!!!!!!! and senior year will be so easy (for me anyways)
im sad, and nervous all the time lately all over this boy, im SO scared ill get hurt, i use to be able to bounce back so easily, but i wont be able to this time---is the risk rlly worth it tho? i LOVE being single, maybe i should cut it off before it rlly goes somewhere
|
|
|
[01 Oct 2005|06:50pm] |
i wanna be north today...my hands wanna grip an ice covered railing along the waterfront looking toward the city...throwing my self in and being carried away by the current...
my whole day has been dreamy like that...the days ahead seem so long, and im ready to leave now...needless to say nothing was accomplished today
maybe someone can make sense of these trippy illusions and feelings i get...i never could
|
|
|
[29 Sep 2005|05:22pm] |
Im *****estatic***** everyone let me know that my braces which have turned into a plague are ready to be taken off before christmas which means before i go to NJ! :D that is...if i wear my rubber bands ( ew) and i will...RELIGIOUSLY. so get use to em' peopleee....
i have a derm. appointment on october 14th. yay! good news for me on such a shitty day considering everyones always in my business, or causing drama in my life :]
next week will KILL me...so im gonna sit home all weekend and do homework spuradically to "lighten" the load.
why the fuck do teachers wait till the END of the quarter to lay shit on you? whatev...
|
|
|
[19 Jun 2005|04:41pm] |
Europe was the most amazing time of my life...I wish i could just recall every little moment of the trip, but there were so many things, every LITERAL moment was filled with some sort of excitement...so I guess i'll sum it up from the begining...
Day one was very exhausting for everyone...the overnight flight to Germany was filled with hysterical laughter, and lots of NON-sleep...I awoke over the Italian countyside getting my first glimpse of italy...my heart nearly stopped. we landed in rome ( or ROMA as it is known in italy)around noon...loaded our stuff on to the bus ( the entire city was SWELTERING)...the first thing i noticed were the tiny tiny itty bitty cars, and tiny little highways...our tour guide Mickey greeted us and warned us of the pick pocketers ( we'll get to that later)...we pulled off the exit "Aurelia" and drove STRAIGHT into downtown Rome...everyone was pretty much blown away, altho many said it was "slummish"...JACKSONVILLE looked so much worse...there was alot of grafitti...and an equal amount of HOT guys...we saw the Trevi fountain and the spanish steps...and jesse,staci, and caitlin all took pictures of the roman skyline...me and caitlin walked around stores like Dior and Gucci and a few others...we met our bus driver back at the hotel via subway...it was littered with grafitti, and I was groped by numerous men. that night we ate dinner in the city and that night i crashed in our tiny little room in the roman suburbs along with Lee and Joe ( the best roomates EVERRR!!), I slept like a rock...everyone was REALLY tired ;x
|
|
|
[20 Feb 2005|03:11pm] |
You Know You're Italian When.... |
You have a nonna.
You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00
You know what a rice ball really tastes like.
Your car has a green red and a white bow with a horn attached on the mirror!
You know the words to Dominick the Donkey!
On Christmas Eve you eat only fish
Your favorite slow song: Ti Amo
"Fuhggettaboutit"
The Godfather is your role model
You love Nutella...anytime...
Your nonna's meat balls are the best
You always dress to impress
You always gotta have a clean pair of Fila's
You love Versace, Gucci, Prada, Armani, just cause there Italian.
Favorite movies: Godfather, Good Fellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don... and you live by them.
Guys gotta respect their women...or else...
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you by either your mother or your nonna.
Pasta, pasta, pasta everyday.
Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.
You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.
Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.
You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.
Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.
You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.
At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.
All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.
A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.
You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.
If someone in your family grows beyond 5'11", it is presumed his mother had an affair.
There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.
At some point in your life, you were a D.J
30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.
You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.
Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.
You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.
You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.
Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.
It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.
Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."
You have many relatives named either Joe or Mary...
You grew up in a small house, but you still had two kitchens. (One was in the basement)
Your grandfather had a fig tree
You've always wanted a red Ferrari
Connie Francis songs makes you cry
At least one person in your family does a great impression of Don Corleone
You feel strangely comfortable when you sit on plastic-covered furniture
You know all the words to "That's Amore"
You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 9 courses despite the fact that you don't eat half of it.
You ask "How much for cash?" when buying but will accept 'gifts' in exchange for cash when selling.
You are not materialistic but insist a $500 wedding present is nothing.
You think have a concrete backyard is nice.
You think having swans in a big fountain in the front yard next to the veggie patch is tasteful.
You actually believe everyone eats those sugared almonds in the bonboniere at your wedding.
You always have a friend who 'owes you a favor'.
You're proud to be Italian - and you pass these jokes on to all your Italian friends! |
|
|
|
[20 Feb 2005|02:56pm] |
| KIRBY |
| K |
is for |
Kinky |
| I |
is for |
Irresistible |
| R |
is for |
Romantic |
| B |
is for |
Bonkers |
| Y |
is for |
Yummy |
|
|
| SHOCK ME SHOCK ME SHOCK ME! |
[12 Oct 2004|08:01am] |
You are ADRIANA LIMA! You're sultry, sexy, and the
hottest vixen of the Victoria's Secret troupe.
You're every man's fantasy and every woman's
envy. You are THE Brazilian Bombshell.
Despite your intoxicating gaze and naughty
pout, you are a natural beauty.
Which Victoria's Secret Model Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
|
[04 Sep 2004|10:27am] |
You Know You're From New Jersey When... |
You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."
You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that the state isn't all farmland.
You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).
You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.
You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.
You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.
You weren't raised in New Jersey -- you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.
You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
You've never pumped your own gas.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey.
|
|
|
|
[04 Sep 2004|10:16am] |
You Know You're From North Jersey When... |
You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls.
Someone at the beach once called you a benny.
You can see the New York City skyline from some part of your town.
You know what CCM is and a good percentage of people from your high school go there.
You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan.
You have or know someone with mafia connections too.
You think the New York Jets should be called the New Jersey Jets.
You have at least one friend who drives a truck.
You've been camping.
You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than English.
You can't remember when Clifton didn't win a softball championship.
You know where to get drugs in Paterson, Newark, or New York.
You've been to a party in the woods.
You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown.
You played in a P.A.L league.
You liked the Jets even before this season.
You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich at 2 a.m.
You've been to the Sussex County Fair.
You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there.
At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station, now it's K-Rock.
You think people from South Jersey talk funny.
Every single place you've ever worked had a "back" that was entirely staffed by hispanic people with the radio blasting salsa music.
Most of your friends are at least 2 different ethinic groups (probably one of them being italian)
You'd rather be getting tortured in the jungles of vietnam than on ANY highway in north jersey at rush hour.
You think that even people living in South Jersey are hicks.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from North Jersey.
|
|
|
| Besos! <3 |
[03 Sep 2004|07:24pm] |
Like the new layout? Its my old one I meant to post up ages ago ;] on my old screen name so ignore the little "exclusivedesire" at the top ;] hehe
Props to Olivia for re-doing my ENTIRE layout <3
|
|
|
[31 Aug 2004|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
_am0r