Mark & Bruce: This is a song about a great folk hero. Running
free...running free...running faggot. Running faggot running free;
see the faggot, see the running faggot, running faggot running free.

Running faggot (Scott): Howdy stripling.

Stripling (Kevin): Howdy....faggot.

RF: Well, what can I do for you?

Stripling: My puppy's hungry, I don't know what to do!

RF: Hm. Why not try feeding it puppy food?

Stripling: Good idea, faggot! Why don't you stick around and see the
results?

RF: Nope. Gotta be hitching a ride on the wind.

M&B: Running faggot running free; see the faggot he fed a puppy,
running faggot running free.

RF: Howdy, stranger.

Gunfighter (Dave): Good ta see ya, faggot.

RF: Well, what seems to be the problem?

Gunfighter: Well I'll let ya have it straight. We're surrounded on all side
by about 10,000 angry Indians, and it looks like there's only (pulls out
gun) one way out.

RF: Have you ever thought of talking to them?

M&B: Running faggot running; he stopped the carnage by gettin' folks a
talkin' 'stead just a sqawkin', sqawkin' and a gawkin', mockin' and a
rockin', running free.

Rednecks (Dave and Kevin): Yeeeeha! Walkin' talkin' stereotypes! Yeeeha!

Dave: Look what we got here...

Kevin: Got ourselves a pretty little faggot.

Dave: Guess we better beat on him.

Kevin: Guess so.

M&B: Running faggot, running free; see the faggot running from the
rednecks, running free. Run you faggot run you! Run you faggot run you!
Run you faggot running free.

Bruce: Godspeed through Texas, faggot.

Mark: Via con Dios, el Faggot.