dani (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _allecto_) wrote,@ 2007-01-07 20:13:00 |
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The Post-modern Quiz
Q: How many po-mos does it take to change a lightbulb?
a) None, because the lightbulb, which both typifies the weary technological inventiveness of a dead modernism and also serves as the iconic representation of modern thought ("idea") is utterly meaningless in a post-modern world;
b) None, they wouldn't bother because it's essentialist and ahistorical to think that you can't see in the dark;
c) None, the enlightenment is dead!
Q: Essentialism is wrong because
a) It's wrong
b) the truth is, it's not true;
c) it's a moral evil;
d) post-modernists say so;
e) there aren't any reasons;
f) it's not wrong if you call it ontology.
Q: Why do Po-mos see Radical Feminism as bad and wrong?
a) Because Radical Feminism is biological determinism;
b) Because Radical Feminism is foundationalism;
c) Because Radical Feminism is essentialism;
d) Because Radical Feminism not only sees the problems but offers solutions.
Q: If the original meaning of torture is to separate the mind from the body, then is reading Po-mo material torture?
a) Yes;
b) Kia Ora (Maori)
c) Oui;
d) Ja;
e)'Ae (Hawai'ian)
f) Yeah!
Q: "Gender" means
a) anything;
b) everything;
c) nothing;
d) not sex;
e) women;
f) men too;
g) something superficial so you can change it at will;
h) all of the above.
Q: Why do po-mos love looking in mirrors and glassy surfaces?
a) They are essentially narcissistic;
b) The mirror does not reflect the soul;
c) They are vain;
d) They are prone to zits.
Q: If Po-mos extol the virtues of multivocality, how come they don't want to hear what Radical Feminists have to say?
a) They are deaf, textually speaking;
b) They are in denial;
c) They are frightened;
d) They wouldn't know the truth if they saw it.
Q: If Foucalt is right and power is everywhere then why do we all have to pay electricity bills?
Q: What is so threatening about political activism for po-mos?
a) It might require moving their butts off the chair and into the stret;
b) It has mass appeal;
c) It threatens their superiority and elitism;
d) They'd rather be shopping.
Q: Why to Po-mos love repetition and sacrifice so much?
a) They secretly worship the bible;
b) They offer up all women as a sacrifice to their egos;
c) They like word games;
d) Repetition helps reinforce nonsense.
Q: If the prick is a god and god doesn't exist, then does Po-mo philosophy exist?
a) Ask Derrida;
b) Ask Foucault;
c) Ask De Sade. Yes, he's dead;
d) No.
Q: When booking an airline ticket, which of a person's multiple subject positions travels first class?
Q: Why do Po-mos write so many books?
a) to self-abnegate;
b) to prove that truth is unimportant;
c) to practice their spelling.
Q: If the author is dead then who gets the royalty cheque?
a) The tax man;
b) ducks
c) cheques are texts, stupid.
Q: Where do you find a Po-mo feminist?
a) In the nearest menstral hut;
b) the fourth floor of the National History museum;
c) Grand Central;
d) Grand Canyon.
Q: Why do Po-mos enjoy blatant consumptionism?
a) When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping;
b) The more Toyotas purchased, the better their BMWs stand out;
c) It shows power over;
d) It shows superiority.
Q: If there are only texts, what does it mean when FBI reports a 120% increase in violent crimes against women between i993 and 1994?
Q: Why does Derrida call women the "name for that untruth of truth"?
a) He has a problem knowing what truth is;
b) He hates his mother;
c) He hates his sister;
d) He hates himself;
e) He needs therapy.
Q: If there is no such thing as truth, why can you go to jail for perjury?
a) Because judges have not read Foucault;
b)Because jail is just a text;
c) Because you deserve it.
Q: What is "phallic drift"?
a) A powerful subterranean force capable of shifting continents;
b) a wandering dick;
c) a pen (which) is in motion;
d) the powerful tendency for public discussion to drift, inexorably, back to the male point of view.
And now for your essay topics
Write a fragment on one of the following topics in about 50,000,000 words. Do npot attempt to make sense of anything whatsoever and avoid all substantiating examples. Students are advised that there will be a penalty imposed on sections which (a) attempt to achieve clarity, or (b) are not fragmentary.
1)The Sexed Sky, or the problematics of post-descendancy de-realisation in the ethereal text.
2) The theory of engendered sustenance, ie: all the women are fruit, all the men are vegetables, and tomatoes are still puzzled.
3) Regimes of difference: the significance of cucumber, chicken, chocolate or chips in the lives of global women.
***Stolen with much laughter from Radically Speaking: Feminism Reclaimed.***
Whoever said that feminists don't have a sense of humour???
Q: How many po-mos does it take to change a lightbulb?
a) None, because the lightbulb, which both typifies the weary technological inventiveness of a dead modernism and also serves as the iconic representation of modern thought ("idea") is utterly meaningless in a post-modern world;
b) None, they wouldn't bother because it's essentialist and ahistorical to think that you can't see in the dark;
c) None, the enlightenment is dead!
Q: Essentialism is wrong because
a) It's wrong
b) the truth is, it's not true;
c) it's a moral evil;
d) post-modernists say so;
e) there aren't any reasons;
f) it's not wrong if you call it ontology.
Q: Why do Po-mos see Radical Feminism as bad and wrong?
a) Because Radical Feminism is biological determinism;
b) Because Radical Feminism is foundationalism;
c) Because Radical Feminism is essentialism;
d) Because Radical Feminism not only sees the problems but offers solutions.
Q: If the original meaning of torture is to separate the mind from the body, then is reading Po-mo material torture?
a) Yes;
b) Kia Ora (Maori)
c) Oui;
d) Ja;
e)'Ae (Hawai'ian)
f) Yeah!
Q: "Gender" means
a) anything;
b) everything;
c) nothing;
d) not sex;
e) women;
f) men too;
g) something superficial so you can change it at will;
h) all of the above.
Q: Why do po-mos love looking in mirrors and glassy surfaces?
a) They are essentially narcissistic;
b) The mirror does not reflect the soul;
c) They are vain;
d) They are prone to zits.
Q: If Po-mos extol the virtues of multivocality, how come they don't want to hear what Radical Feminists have to say?
a) They are deaf, textually speaking;
b) They are in denial;
c) They are frightened;
d) They wouldn't know the truth if they saw it.
Q: If Foucalt is right and power is everywhere then why do we all have to pay electricity bills?
Q: What is so threatening about political activism for po-mos?
a) It might require moving their butts off the chair and into the stret;
b) It has mass appeal;
c) It threatens their superiority and elitism;
d) They'd rather be shopping.
Q: Why to Po-mos love repetition and sacrifice so much?
a) They secretly worship the bible;
b) They offer up all women as a sacrifice to their egos;
c) They like word games;
d) Repetition helps reinforce nonsense.
Q: If the prick is a god and god doesn't exist, then does Po-mo philosophy exist?
a) Ask Derrida;
b) Ask Foucault;
c) Ask De Sade. Yes, he's dead;
d) No.
Q: When booking an airline ticket, which of a person's multiple subject positions travels first class?
Q: Why do Po-mos write so many books?
a) to self-abnegate;
b) to prove that truth is unimportant;
c) to practice their spelling.
Q: If the author is dead then who gets the royalty cheque?
a) The tax man;
b) ducks
c) cheques are texts, stupid.
Q: Where do you find a Po-mo feminist?
a) In the nearest menstral hut;
b) the fourth floor of the National History museum;
c) Grand Central;
d) Grand Canyon.
Q: Why do Po-mos enjoy blatant consumptionism?
a) When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping;
b) The more Toyotas purchased, the better their BMWs stand out;
c) It shows power over;
d) It shows superiority.
Q: If there are only texts, what does it mean when FBI reports a 120% increase in violent crimes against women between i993 and 1994?
Q: Why does Derrida call women the "name for that untruth of truth"?
a) He has a problem knowing what truth is;
b) He hates his mother;
c) He hates his sister;
d) He hates himself;
e) He needs therapy.
Q: If there is no such thing as truth, why can you go to jail for perjury?
a) Because judges have not read Foucault;
b)Because jail is just a text;
c) Because you deserve it.
Q: What is "phallic drift"?
a) A powerful subterranean force capable of shifting continents;
b) a wandering dick;
c) a pen (which) is in motion;
d) the powerful tendency for public discussion to drift, inexorably, back to the male point of view.
And now for your essay topics
Write a fragment on one of the following topics in about 50,000,000 words. Do npot attempt to make sense of anything whatsoever and avoid all substantiating examples. Students are advised that there will be a penalty imposed on sections which (a) attempt to achieve clarity, or (b) are not fragmentary.
1)The Sexed Sky, or the problematics of post-descendancy de-realisation in the ethereal text.
2) The theory of engendered sustenance, ie: all the women are fruit, all the men are vegetables, and tomatoes are still puzzled.
3) Regimes of difference: the significance of cucumber, chicken, chocolate or chips in the lives of global women.
***Stolen with much laughter from Radically Speaking: Feminism Reclaimed.***
Whoever said that feminists don't have a sense of humour???
