<Aimer....c'est ce qu'y a de plus beau..>
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "_aimer" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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12:03 am
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sciences po has a screwed up timetable
Sample from the fall 2008 schedule
Fall Welcome Programme: September 8 - 26 Online Course Registration Fall Semester: September 10
Fall Orientation Day for students not registered in the Welcome Programme: September 25
Beginning of Fall Semester: September 29
Study Break: November 10 - 12
Vacation: December 18 - January 4
End of Fall Semester: January 30
Final Exams: January 31 - February 11
Winter Break: February 12 - 22
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11:26 pm
[Link] | i don't know how it gets better than this.
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11:04 pm
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HK, day 4
Most of today was spent at Disneyland, land of dreams and good ole commercialism. Both the mother and I aren’t exactly adrenaline junkies – not like there were any thrills available at Photo Opp Land HK Disneyland, so we spent most of the time trawling the souvenir stores and taking pictures of the pretty Sleeping Beauty castle. In fact I suspect that I got too trigger happy during the shows and attractions that I didn’t really enjoy myself as much as I could. No matter though, at least I have a nice collection of photos that I can compile into a scrapbook or something when I get bored during the rest of the winter break of something.
Hmm it’s really quite hard to write about Disney like this, I guess I’ll just include random musings in my photo captions when I upload the HK pictures on facebook or something.
I guess Disney marketing isn’t really bullshitting people when they attempt to sell you the idea of Disneyland and the entire Disney franchise = a land where your greatest dreams come true etc. A world without cynicism, regrets and general grief – a believable idea when you’re say, ten years old. Can be quite laughable and downright irritating if you insist on living in your own little fantasy world even when it ought to be clear to anybody the cruel realities life throws you mercilessly. But anyway, the fireworks display at the end of the day had me suspended in the Disney brand of optimism (for lack of a better word) for the 15 or so minutes the skies lit up. For awhile, it did seem that all was well with the world and all the clichés ever known to mankind seemed to make perfect sense for that few minutes. Well I suppose huge budgets are able to buy cheap thrills dreams and happiness.
I was a dreamer till you went and let me down.
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11:01 pm
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HK (or should I say Macau), day 3
Macau is such a bundle of contradictions. On one hand it’s like this sleepy little territory that’s more reminiscent of China than it is of bustling Hong Kong, and yet the part which holds all the casinos is just opulent indulgence bordering on mindless extravagance. So for the first part of the day we were being driven around to random sleepy little attractions (the ruins of St Paul’s Church were really, really pretty though, and I like the random narrow alleyways all over the island that looked vaguely European).
It’s eerily quiet in the day with very few cars and the fog casting a dead gloom over the entire place, yet it gets so crowded and noisy at night when we were at the Venetian. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the population is employed by some casino-related company or another XD Crowd at the Venetian consisted of: Gawky tourists like us oohing and aahing over the décor and the gondola rides (maybe the mother belongs to a class of her own – “Oooh look that’s where they filmed Boys over Flowers! They took the gondola ride there! This is exactly like it was in the show! Ahhh!”), Japanese tourists who are evidently important enough for the gondola rowers (?) to serenade them and not say, Indian tourists, loud and rowdy Chinese tourists, strangely no angmoh tourists, and tons of Chinese streetwalkers tottering around uncomfortably in ill-fitting heels, handing out numbers to all men who looked like they were alone. XD The Chinese are everywhere, and I’d rather they return to the mainland and stop mucking things up elsewhere, like how my fantastic cab driver closed the door while my leg was still OUTSIDE THE CAB. Say hello to bruised, swollen left ankle (also incidentally the one that’s more badly sprained in the past) sigh.
Can’t say I’m very impressed by Macau, but I do think it’d be rather fun to stay at the Venetian for a couple of days with uh people my own age. Anybody interested? Cannot be tight-fisted people k, I want to try the gondola ride the next time around!
OK to prevent this day from sounding overly grouchy, here’s a cheerier nugget of information – I GOT AN EXCHANGE SPOT ON SCIENCES PO. IN PARIS. Time to brush up on my French, maybe I’ll pay Jinrou to tutor me weekly since I’ve forgotten everything except perhaps “Tu es chaud” hehehee. If I’m not wrong, Sciences Po does not provide accommodation at all so if anybody knows anyone going to Paris please let me know! Need to find housemates =) =) =)
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11:00 pm
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HK, day 2
Day 2 of this rather awkward holiday with the mother and I can’t say I’m optimistic about this turning out for the better to be some mother-daughter bonding session, but it’s been pretty fun nevertheless. Can’t help but draw comparisons between HK and my beloved (and muchly missed) Taiwan - there doesn’t seem to be much of a street food culture here and the vibes I’m getting are that the locals aren’t quite as warm and friendly as the (much better looking) Taiwanese counterparts.
Today in as few bullet points as possible:
Dimsum breakfast (yay!), roast goose + sweet and sour pork (!!!) at lunch (double yay!), but unimpressive HK milk tea made me pine for the awesome Taiwanese version
More random skyline shots and a trip to some temple I can’t even remember. It’s amusing how people were smoking while offering incense as well. I didn’t know that it has become fashionable for the gods to enjoy the carcinogenic aroma of cigarette smoke while inhaling their usual incense.
Repulse Bay was beautiful, period. I will endeavor to live somewhere like that one day, where I can walk straight out to the beach from my house, sunbathe in the summer and enjoy the cold air blowing in my face come winter time.
Had a blast bargaining at Ladies Street (HAHAHA at the stall owner trying to tell me that HKD380 was “very cheap” for a supposedly genuine Chloe bag. Rightttt.) It was almost as fun as the crazy bargaining sessions we had in Beijing! XD
Went to the Esprit outlet store and went kinda crazy. Enough said.
This guy from HKU suddenly appeared this morning, introducing himself as an “assistant” to our tour guide, and telling us that he would be following us around as his holiday job while he gets a week of vacation from school or something. He whipped out his DSLR at all the photo opp moments, helping us take pictures with our own noob digicams and taking one with his own camera each time we asked him to help us with pictures. And lo and behold, he disappears for a couple of hours after lunch, and returns with a couple of printed photographs and a random photo laminated within a porcelain plate for each person – HKD280 for each package. I think the mother has a soft spot for him since he’s about the same age as I am and cos he kept telling her what a “bee-yoo-tee-foo” daughter (“she is more bee-yoo-tee-foo than even the prettiest Hong Kong girls!”) she has -_____- , cos she proceeded to buy both our packages from him. Oh well uhh many other people have kinda said the same thing since yesterday. Some aunty kept asking me if I have many guys going after me. Ego boost! XD
Another happy random thought - for once I’m taking the lead and guiding the mother along, reading maps, figuring out directions etc so there shouldn’t be any more justification for the mother accusing me for being some un-streetsmart spoilt brat. Not bad that I could navigate us through Mongkok with just a map and visual memory, considering how I usually can’t even locate where I am on a map. XD Improved sense of direction no?
BTW does anybody have any idea how much an SMS costs from HK to Singapore if I’m on autoroam? It’s such a pain rationing texts.
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11:59 pm
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HK, day 1
I’ve never had a plane ride quite like today’s. Usually I’m too excited to sleep or even drowse but I spent my entire flight today doing nothing except catching up on my ZZZs. Even during meal service omg, I didn’t even bother finishing my food cos all I wanted to do was to go back to sleep. Ultra strong motion sickness pills those were – they helped for the ferry rides just now too. The waves were pretty bad and I could totally feel my stomach turning but eh no puking *is proud of self. By the way, all these entries are postdated because RAHHH I DON’T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS. Who actually uses data cables these days? Am extremely crabby at the general lack of technology and uh Facebook. And googletalk. Not necessarily in that order.
Let’s see, what did we do today?
- Late lunch with the mother before we were bused off to lame Avenue of Stars and to the seafood dinner at Lamma Island (Terrible ferry ride, but yay for the chilly sea breeze. I actually think that HK isn’t cold enough! The best would still be Taiwan in 2008.) Yumyum I want more fish and scallops (!!!!!) and prawns (!!!!!!)
- Camwhoring at Madame Tussaud’s. The mother was surprisingly nonchalant when I did things like the Heil Hitler sign and when I stuck out my tongue at Angelina Jolie. XD
We’re going to have tomorrow evening pretty free unless we want to shop for like 7 hours straight at Ladies Street (no thank you) so I’m going to take it upon myself to flip through Lonely Planet and see if there’s anywhere we can explore and hopefully not get lost in.
On a completely unrelated note, I just realized that it’s already December and we have something like 3 weeks before 2010 rolls around. Feels like yesterday there I was still writing ‘2008’ on my dates out of habit. Time just whizzed past this year, especially this particular semester. It’s been a truly eventful and meaningful year, a watershed time period of sorts I would say, and I guess a year-end reflection/wrap-up introspection session is in order. Would probably be doing myself a favor by reaffirming all the things that I did right this year, and the mistakes I need to force myself to learn from so I wouldn’t end up getting trapped in the worst ruts like those in the past. This is all your influence Ian. Hahahhaha.
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10:19 pm
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live like we're dying
Sometimes we fall down and can’t get back up
We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough
How come we don’t say I love you enough
Till it’s too late, it’s not too late Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come
We could make a feast from these crumbs
And we’re all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would’ve done
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin’ it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we’re dying And if you plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbyes
Should be so careful who we live out of our lives
So when we long for absolution, there’ll be no one on the line Like we’re dying
You never know a good thing until it’s gone
you never see a crash until its head on
All these people right when we’re dead wrong,
You never know a good thing till it’s gone
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we’ve been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin’ it
Every second counts on a clock that’s tickin’
Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell ‘em that we love ‘em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we’re dying Like we’re dying
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02:03 am
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251109
I don't know when I'm going to dance again. Did a piece for terp last semester, but havent been able to go for dance at all for the past half a year or so. Firstly it was the crazy hours at SPH, although I really wouldnt have minded rushing down after work if I had a shorter day. And then school started and at first I was doing 6 modules and then MUN got really busy. Not that I wasn't able to make the practices per se, but oh well my life was not my own.Being too busy = pretty much getting into trouble with the ex.
But it's too late now, really. Since I'm not doing terp next sem (didn't get casted [too cui from lack of practice] and can't make it for the actual concert anyway due to clashes with worldmun) and will probably not be able to do DR if I go on exchange in year3sem1, I really don't know when else I'd be able to perform again hahhaa. Of course looking back on it now, it's really such a terrible waste. If I'd known that Jauchern's piece was the last I was gonna do, I'd have enjoyed it more - felt more, related more, lost myself in the sentiment and not worried so much about the technique and fretted over whether I could do the lifting or whether I was able to hold my weight during partner work etc. I'd have given it 120%.
Life (or should I say youth, in general) is too short to not go after the things you want.
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11:53 am
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this is pretty historic
- It's the first saturday in a long, long, long time that I'm actually not going out. By (my) choice.
Can you sense my pre-exam panic finally starting?
- Going to be taking my first science paper in 4 years on Monday. Yes I've been whining about tis to anybody who would listen but bear with me, please?
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11:47 pm
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team jacob ftw
"He's like a drug for you, Bella." His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. "I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."
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03:20 am
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9nov09
hmmm I love these conversations in the dead of the night where I basically empty the random thoughts in my head to you and you help me sharpen them such that they actually make sense.
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12:21 am
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je suis desolee, mon amie..
to you, whom I know 99% for sure do not come here:
Hearing about you and your own little struggles, I have to admit - my heart did break a little for you. Just cos I think I can relate.
I've been thinking about it for the past few weeks (probably months, actually), how I could (or whether I should) make some sort of restitution. I know that it's been unfair of me to have been so mean to you etc, that was cos I was basically really immaturely heaping all my frustrations and anger on you. It had to go somewhere and I couldn't bring myself to admit that the problems didn't come from external sources, that something was actually fundamentally wrong within.
I can and I probably will retrace all the competition (stupidly self-imposed, of course) I've had with you since like forever but tonight, I'm choosing to let it all go. Once and for all.
I wish I had the courage to apologize to you.
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09:26 pm
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classic!
Original quote from John Locke's 'Second Treatise of Government':
“To ask how you may be guarded from harm, or injury, on that side where the strongest hand is to do it, is presently the voice of faction and rebellion: as if when men quitting the state of nature entered into society, they agreed that all of them but one, should be under the restraint of laws, but that he should still retain all the liberty of the state of nature, increased with power, and made licentious by impunity. This is to think, that men are so foolish, that they take care to avoid what mischiefs may be done them by pole-cats, or foxes; but are content, nay think it safety, to be devoured by lions.” (p. 50, par. 93)
Here's a slightly edited version, which I found on fb. Context was that someone was comforting (i think) a friend whose football team hasn't been doing too well this season:
"This to think, that men are so peculiar, that they take care to avoid the emotional turmoils of life; but are content, nay, think it entertaining, to let their emotions be dictated by a moving ball."
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02:02 am
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!!!!
WHY AM I WATCHING 'MY FAIR PRINCESS' WHEN EXAMS ARE 3 WEEKS AWAY?!
I totally know how this is gonna go - I'm gonna watch HZGG1, HZGG2 (48 episodes omg!) and then I'll go on to Romance in the Rain (another 48 eps i think)
XD
当山峰没有棱角的时候
当河水不在流
当时间停住日月不分
当天地万物化为虚有
我还是不能和你分手
不能和你分手
你的温柔是我今生最大的守候
当太阳不在上升的时候
当地球不再转动
当春夏秋冬不再变换
当花草树木全部凋残
我还是不能和你分散
不能和你分散
你的笑容是我今生最大的眷恋
让我们红尘做伴活得潇潇洒洒
策马奔腾共享人世繁华
对酒当歌唱出心中喜悦
轰轰烈烈把握青春年华
让我们红尘做伴活得潇潇洒洒
策马奔腾共享人世繁华
对酒当歌唱出心中喜悦
轰轰烈烈把握青春年华
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01:28 am
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enfin
What is love?
There is no such thing.
There's only loves, and the differences between them.
Ah, Mr Purvis and his infinite wisdom.
Honestly never did understand this little nugget until very recently.
As much as the past 5 years have painfully taken their toll, there were good times and there were learning points. He was technically not my first boyfriend but I consider it my first proper, functional relationship anyway. Judging from the mistakes made and all the paths we'd have been better off not going down on, it seems almost necessary that the first relationship is there just for it to be a sort of steep learning curve - a lead-up to other things. We had to get out of that rut somehow, or we'd still be stuck with the emotional range of 16 year olds many years on. Better now than never, I don't want to look back many years on when I'm living-with-it-but-clearly-unhappy and wonder how things would have been if I'd dare to let go of the stability and security. I don't want to be burdened with any more what-ifs - there's already way too many of those in my life now.
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05:03 pm
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25oct09
In spite of my general misery while rushing my IPSEA essay like some crazed idiot, I do think I'd write my honors thesis on ASEAN if I actually make it to year4.
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02:54 pm
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let me gross you out yay
It's 2.55pm on a sunny saturday afternoon, and amazingly I am:
- Still in glasses, with hair uncombed, sporting the worst eyebags and dark eyerings possible (i'm not complaining, i proudly label these as my battle scars)
- Still wearing clothes I slept in last night (or this morning, depending on how you look at it)
- Getting high and semi-jittery from too much caffeine. I'm like belting out SHE randomly and screaming in M18 language whenever I make a typo
GO YINGHAN!
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02:13 am
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yes i'm a mandopop geek
黄金海岸的岸边 我们肩并着肩
洁净的蓝天 清澈的
水面 吻成一条海平线
看你温柔的双眼 弹着吉他的弦
歌词是诺言 旋律是
依恋 唱出一首五月天
五月的天 刚诞生的夏天
我们之间 才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面 有好多明天
五月的天 梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒 一长串的心愿
我们一天一天 慢慢实现
大雨冲走了昨天 清晨乌云几片
彩虹的旁边 有星星
几点 迫不及待在眨眼
海风味道变香甜 沙滩洒满亮片
你哼着永远 我和着
不变 合唱一首五月天
五月的天 刚诞生的夏天
我们之间 才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面 有好多明天
五月的天 梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒 一长串的心愿
我们一天一天 慢慢实现
海浪 拼命欢呼跳跃 一遍又一遍
鼓励我们 看谁先吻谁的脸
为这五月之恋 再添一个逗点
再多的五月天 怕也不够我们沉醉
海燕 身边来回盘旋 扮演着领队
仿佛听见幸福在前面不远
为这五月之恋 再添一点信念
往后的五月天 和你走到比永远还远
五月的天 刚诞生的夏天
我们之间 才完成的爱恋
紧握的手里面 有好多明天
五月的天 梦开始要鲜艳
前方蜿蜒 一长串的心愿
我们一天一天 慢慢实现
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01:22 am
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haven't met you yet
I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.
I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.
And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.
I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.
But somehow I know that it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.
They say all's fair.
And in love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.
And I know that we can be so amazing.
And being in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility
And someday I know it'll all turn out.
And I'll work to work it out.
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get,
Than I get, than I get, than I get.
You know it'll all turn out.
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And I promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.
I just haven't met you yet.
Ohh, promise you, kid, to give so much than I get.
(I said love, love, love, love...)
I just haven't met you yet
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05:25 pm
[Link] | Random geek moment:
Les MIserables is such a Lockean musical! O_O The last few lines of the libretto totally channel Locke's idea re appealing to heaven:
“Do you hear the people sing?
Lost in the valley of the night
It is the music of a people they are climbing to the light
For the wretched of the earth there is a flame that never dies
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise
They will live again in freedom in the garden of the Lord
They will walk behind the ploughshare
They will put away the sword
The chain will be broken and all men will have their reward”
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