My phone needs an intoxication detection function.

Sure there would have to be a few numbers that can be allowed. Such as 911 and a taxi company, and possibly my housemates numbers. But that's it. The reason for this is due to my love of text messaging people with things I really shouldn't be saying. Like last night, which saw me text message "K.T"[the girl I'm interested in] with this rather stupid comment:"I'm drunk and you're hawt."
Like seriously Derek what were you thinking? I almost texted another person, who's name also starts with a K, but with a more lewd and suggestive comment, but I guess I was able to see that that could cause some issues in our friendship.
So yeah, I guess I'm all about self-destruction.
The events leading up to the infamous message are as follows.
Got off work at 10:00, YAY winter hours. Got my shit done and tossed on my red gingham western shirt. Then made my way over to the Bovine Sex Club to see my friends band Tuuli play. I have to say my shirt was a hit. I was told by one friend that a girl gave me 'a look' so that's always good for the ole' ego. The friend that was in the band loved the shirt, and began to tell me how he had one just like it when he was a kid and he'd run around the house with his white cowboy hat with his pistolas blazing. This gave me an idea to buy myself a cowboy hat and a holster and find some pistol cap guns for it. How can that not be a recipe for a good time. My cousin who was also at the show, immediately saw the reason I was wearing the shirt:"Hey that's a wicked shirt..[pause]...oh I get it, Bovine...cowboy." So the fact that at least one person 'got it' was enough for me.
In true Derek fashion I was buying myself two drinks at a time instead of just one. Then for last call we all got a shot of Jager and I bought myself a double, but only one this time. So needless to say I was in prime condition to do stupid things. It's prolly a good thing this "K.T" girl wasn't there with us, or I'm sure I would have done or said something even more ricockulous.
So after that we went to my cousin place of work and rolled a joint, went outside, smoked it and chatted for a bit. We then made our way home and upon arrival I promptly made myself a very stiff drink and headed to the comforts of my bedroom. Decided to watch friday the 13th:part 3. Finished my drink before anyone even dies then rather quickly passed out. Story of my life...empty heart and an empty bed. Whoa where did that come from.
The best thing about last night was that I didn't even smoke a single dart. I had a few drags but that was it. Sure I'm on the patch and I sometimes feel like Alex whenever i get a wee bit of the nicotine in me, but I'm proud of myself for not cheating for an entire week so far.
I think that concludes this entry so I shall say bye for now.