so i'm going to take a moment here and write a really self-centered, emo post. just bear with me and you'll soon be returned to your regular programming.

i've decided that i give up on trusting anybody or taking anyone at their word anymore. all it ever results in is me getting my feelings hurt or heart broken and feeling utterly let down. i just can't fucking go through it anymore. i'm definitely done trusting horse people. you all already know the story of reggie, but now there's a new one. last week, a lady who i met last year emailed me, wondering if i would be interested in trading bailey for a two-year-old egyptian arabian stallion that she has. i more or less jumped at the chance. bailey has been for sale for over a year because i'm really more into trail riding now and he's really not. this arab was going to be my endurance horse. so i've spent the last few days on the phone trying to get the paperwork arranged to get bailey down to owensboro. yesterday afternoon, the woman emailed me asking if i'd be interested in splitting the cost of getting the arab's sire nominated for the incentive fund because she has the horse's half-brother who she's going to keep. i emailed her back about it, saying i'd be up for it. then a few hours later she emailed me back saying that she'd changed her mind and is going to keep the arab.

so.. i fucking give up on people. i'm done trusting anyone, it's just not worth it.

yeah, another meme. this is what i do with my life. *sigh*

behind the cut.

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a non-fiction book. i'll be the first person to admit that i don't actually read much non-fiction these days, but here are two that i have to share.

first, i think everybody who loves animals needs to read this book. my dad read it to me when i was a kid and i loved every single page of it, even the ones that made me cry. it's the story of a young English country vet in the 1930s. each chapter tells a self-contained story, though James' personal story carries through the whole of the book.




another fantastic book that will make you laugh until you can't breathe is Bill Bryon's book "In A Sunburned Country", the story of his travels across Australia. it's not a typical dull, dry travelogue so you'll never feel bogged down.

a... fictional book? like one that doesn't exist? i'm assuming they mean a fiction book. okay. i already did lost souls and catspaw. okay, if you're looking for a bit of easy reading, try Dragonsong, Dragonsinger and Dragondrums by Anne McCaffrey. it's an excellent little series all about the Harper Hall, mentioned in Anne McCaffrey's other dragon books. it gives a nice alternative perspective of those events.

whatever tickles my fancy (shut up, jamie). obviously the person who came up with this meme was lacking inspiration. well, that makes two of us, cause i have no idea what to do for this.

so i guess today i'm going to share a poem by this guy (no, it's not The Raven):




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a photo of me taken recently. yeah... i pretty much hate, loathe and despise having my pic taken. i always look stoopid and i hate the way i smile. however, bryan, who i used to work with (bad grammar), is apparently a genius with the camera and managed to get a decent pic of me one night. so... here we go.



*runs away and hides*

this is supposed to be a pic of me taken over ten years ago. i don't actually have any, or at least none on my computer. however, i will tell you about a pic that's actually one of my favorites. it was the first time i'd gone to chicago and they were doing this Cows On Parade thing where there were life-sized painted cows scattered randomly all over the city. i found one that i liked that was posed like this one (of course i can't find a pic of the actual cow)



we'd been walking all day so i asked if we could stop for a bit and i sat down and leaned back against the cow's side. my cousin marin took the picture. it's really one of my fave pics of me and i swear i'll try to get it scanned in at some point (when i have access to a scanner). that was the day that i swear to god we met mat devine on the steps of the chicago art institute. or rather, passed him on the steps and he searched the entire gallery/museum to try to catch up with my cousin and me.

i have to watch A Christmas Story and Love Actually. i also *must* watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the original animated one), Rudolph, Frosty, Peanuts and all the other usual kids' TV Christmas specials. i've never seen Miracle on 34th Street or It's A Wonderful Life.

random meme nicked off karen

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a photo i took.



this is Bailey, my 6-year-old thoroughbred gelding. one of my favorite pics ever and it's just one of those rare ones where everything happened just exactly right and i just happened to have a camera with me. i'd brought him out of the field to feed him (his mouth is full of food, which is why he has chipmunk cheeks) and i was just standing around with the camera. the neighbors across the street were bringing their trash cans down their gravel driveway to the curb and the sound caught Bailey's attention. his head whipped up and he just had that lovely "eagle's gaze" that thoroughbreds are famous for. and for once i managed to get my camera up in time to get the pic. i have a copy of this framed and sitting in my kitchen.