speed it down&slow it up [entries|friends|calendar] alyssa we're going down [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

does he hold your tiny face in his hands? [Saturday July 22nd, 2006 10:42pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | [RILO KILEY] does he love you? ] its getting to the point where he's the only thing on my suddenly one-track mind-- like obsession. except its bad because he may as well not exist for all the contact we have. he's become an apostrophe. a faceless impression, real only in theory or idealogical concept. i think of him when i can barely see the stars and hope that everyone in the state of louisiana has turned off their lights. and i hope that he thinks of me and that when he realized that his best friend had it bad for me, he looked at his shoes and wouln't talk to him for the rest of the night. i hope that he found it hard to say good-bye and that his heart seized in his chest when he heard me choke up on the other end. i mean, i think i could have loved him without trying too hard. break it down

i can still see her bright eyes like sunny day real estate [Sunday June 11th, 2006 4:44pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | [gym class heroes] taxi driver ] sometimes it's really hard to wake up in the morning. because i don't know where i am or how to stand. and i'm thinking am i really that forgettable? and i wish i could. but all i can do is lay in bed next to my desire to dissolve into this crummy atmosphere. i never thought i'd miss you this much. i don't have that boy anymore. i feel empty. break it down

what do the old people teach us but how to die? [Sunday May 7th, 2006 6:00pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | SAY ANTHING; the futile ] wow. haven't updated this badboy in a LOOOOOOOOOONG time. there's a boy somewhere. and when i close my eyes i know he misses me. and its the best feeling in the world-- to be wanted. i don't long to be rescued anymore. and thats the best thing i could ever ask for. i am happy. i am independent upon no one but myself. i get headaches, but i'm still okay. :] break it down

[Saturday December 10th, 2005 10:04pm] we were headed towards lives of trechary writing what we thought was poetry. our chemical compositions contained everything but the chemicals and we never thought they would. bored of barbies we were growing up too fast. trying too hard to be the same as everyone else, trying so hard to blend into the caked foundation, glossed lips and shaky hands fumbling cigarrettes, fishnet stockings and miniskirts, put the sedans into cruise control. we knew we were so young, thought we were in control of being out of control and that was enough to get us through the day. slamming doors for the first time like it was nobody's business and walking made us feel independent but it was really just the same neighborhood. can't this stop? can't this stop? hold the rails; let them go. there's no fire escapes on our suburban homes. because our houses burn from the inside to out. and the most we can do is to let them die out. we're a breed of our own, we've no league of our own. we've only our driveways to smoke our homegrown.♥ break it down

[Wednesday November 23rd, 2005 11:56am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | [MAE] giving it away ] it definitely says a lot about our culture that one of our national holidays is essentially a day of condoned gluttony and football. your uncle sprawled out on the couch manages to slur out "i'm thankful for pamela anderson and.... BEER.." turkey is a dry flavorless meat, unless you like the dark park which is very fattening. and we have leftovers for a WEEK. thanksgiving isn't about giving thanks, it's about eating and having stupid relatives take over your bathroom. i really dislike thanksgiving 2 kids break it down

sweet november [Wednesday November 16th, 2005 8:31pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | [SENSES FAIL] the ground folds (acoustic version) ] Lovers kiss under skies contorted with rage. The freezing wind whips against flushed cheeks almost touching. Warm liquids meld between hot chapped lips; quick cold fingers—like ice—in search of a better place to keep warm. Fur trimmed collars&&cashmere scarves—only the best for the young♥ in love. break it down

her lips taste like a loaded gun [Monday November 14th, 2005 8:27pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | [DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE] your heart is an empty room ] someone needs to stop this. and you know it because i need their whispers like a loaded gun. you know you're super cute when you're scared. shh. it's okay. i know what to do to make you not afraid. ♥♥ burn it down until the embers smoke on the ground... break it down

a long time ago we used to be friends [Saturday November 12th, 2005 1:11pm] [ mood | thrilled ] [ music | [THE DANDY WARHOLS] we used to be friends ] i totally drove this morning. like a hardcore 20 mph through my east amherst residential development. woot woot! [&&i got my permit in the mailll! my picture is so awful] bills game tomorrow because my lovely emily moloney is SINGING with her acapella group. yay! ♥♥ ps. harry potter &&the goblet of fire opens this friday. i'm going with christine. =) break it down

boys will be boys [Wednesday November 9th, 2005 9:49pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | [PLAIN WHITE Ts] hey there delilah ] good morning sunshine, i miss the moon. i don't even remember last night. let's get it right. it's me and you. forget the moon? never. my nails are chipped but will painting them brown [to match my mood] really help me make a better impression? proabably fucking not-- because i'll still be a mess. ps. i want to be delilahhh. break it down

i am grateful for possibilities of hipbones&& two-finger interceptions [Sunday October 30th, 2005 7:34pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | [DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE] transatlanticism ] this is a vicious cycle. this cycle is vicious. this sucks. i've come to the conclusion that you're here so i can hate myself for every second i'm alive. and everytime i speak your name takes me closer to the point at which i will die. lying is easy when there's nothing left to damage and the catastrophic accidents come fewer&& fewer. but when they do, all i can hear is the sound of my own wailing&& the beating of my heart seems insignificant. like an eyelash you press with your index finger&& blow away to make your wish come true. so sleep now it's okay to close your eyes because no one can hurt you once you've turned off the lights. i trust Brandon Davis. mostly because of kindergarten. break it down

we are falling apart to half time♥ [Friday October 28th, 2005 11:15pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | [P!ATD] lying is the most fun a girl can have without ... ] this has been THE worst week EVER. &&when i say EVER i mean EVER: there was an earthquake is Kashmir, there's those stupid hurricanes that keep on blasting through, i can no longer think of J.Crew as that wonderfully classy store with the best oxfords in the world [besides Ralph Lauren Polo], it's been angrily implied that i am a freak/stalker&&should never talk to them again [i'm also a liar, oh yes], my thighs hurt like crazay because of my new borderline feindish ritual of waking up early to epipticize, i will never eat brownies again [&&by never i mean for a VERY long time&&also chicken quesadillas], and i've lost my only source of community service [and you know what, it was also really nice!] [AND IN A-FUCKING-DDITI0N] i'm going to lakefield tomorrow. that is four hours away. four hours on a stupid bus&& fxcking disney movies.&& i miss my dogs. break it down

i am quite fucking mistaken [Wednesday October 26th, 2005 8:44pm] [ mood | the worst ] [ music | [FALL OUT BOY] dance dance ] umm fall out boy was on one tree hill[!!!]& i am super stressed. plus, some boys are just so stupid. i really want to see christine this weekend. related is a really terrible show. i am thirstyyyyyy. 1 kids break it down

doing my part to save the scene by not going to see rocket summer tonight. :( [Sunday October 23rd, 2005 7:01pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me ] does anyone remember pogs? i think i had power ranger ones. my parents are going to a little partay for that indian dude running for amherst soop. i think brandon may come over. ps. i drank regular coca-cola alllll day because last week i consumed all 3 sixpacks. i consume waaaay too much aspertame. i love being apathetic. BEST feeling EVER. break it down

if looks could kill my profession would be staring [Thursday October 20th, 2005 8:20pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | [BRAND NEW] i will play my game beneath the spin light ] the time has come for colds& overcoats. i am sixteen years old. 1 kids break it down

we put the "ACT" in action [Tuesday October 18th, 2005 9:09pm] [ mood | thrilled ] [ music | [LFO] every other time ] this has been the best fucking birthday ever. my mom threw me a little surprise dinner which was soo cute& ty got me baclava at pano's& i seriously love fifty dollar bills. i also love this song. it was on laguna last night. ♥♥♥ break it down

i just want to wake up in someone else's arms [Thursday October 13th, 2005 9:53am] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | [MAE♥] someone else's arms ] I HAVE NOTHING TO DO TODAY. i really wanted to go to Mae tomorrow. i tried making pancakes this morning. i fucked up so bad. i'm 16 in 6 days. i really need to fucking write this article & i don't know what to write about. i've asked like everyone. this blows. it's due saturday. pooooooooo. JAMBO♥ we're better off breaking hearts break it down

i have no lover and she hasn't the prettiest eyes [Monday October 10th, 2005 9:50am] [ mood | sick ] [ music | [EVERY TIME I DIE] ebolarama ] believe me when i say I AM O-fucking-KAY. but not in an 'i promise'-my-chemical-romance sort of way. i am okay. you don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore. i saw thumbsucker last night with christine& her cousin. it's a fantastic movie. youknowyouloveme♥ break it down

there was a man from way back west [Sunday October 2nd, 2005 8:02pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | [FFTL] KISS ME, I'M CONTAGI0US ] 'hold on tightly because this is it, boys. we've been waiting a long time; our hands numb, cold as ice on the back of our necks like the girls you left at home in bed with your best friend. this shit will blow your minds you'll hear the creaking of her straining [heart]strings tonight but, it could just be your bed posts.' someone should have told you. but i had to. all in one breath. i hope you didn't mind. &somehow the thing you said repulsed you about me is the very thing you should have known in the first place. you saw the look on my face when i told you the truth. that those nasty things everyone said about me were only half false. so why didn't you stop yourself before you waded in too deeply? you knew exactly what sort of substance i am made of; and now you're drowning in it. break it down

i am uncomfortable with emotion [Thursday September 29th, 2005 7:21pm] [ mood | apathetic ] [ music | [DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE] tiny vessels ] I want closure. Tiny plastic buttons through their own tiny holes in an angora sweater that reveals narrow shoulders and deprives my neck of warmth. What good is that? I want enclosure. Remember how we’d kick off the blankets? Who were we hiding from anyways? You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how many times I’d won solitaire while murmuring your name. I want to know that it’s not okay and that I’m the one biting your lip on the inside of your eyelids. I know and can’t pretend that it doesn’t make sense to miss you anymore. I read your lips like my horoscope as stated in a teen magazine. youknowyouloveme♥ break it down

the first day of fall is the last day i'll kiss the sky [Sunday September 25th, 2005 3:15pm] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | [DAPHNE LOVES DERBY] midnight highway ] there are appoximately 16 reasons that you hate me and i'm not even 16 years old. But can i change that i'm constantly reminded of numbers 11&14&15 in your presence? You and I both know that I would change the direction of the earth's rotation if it stopped you from feeling the way you do. I would go back in time and delete everyone who wrecked our perfection. Even if all that was left of this world was a bag of chex mix and gambit. It wouldn't matter because you wouldn't be glaring at me as I exit the room, and i wouldn't have to be disgusted with my own self-pity. i miss the confidence of your arm around my waist.♥ youknowyouloveme♥ ps. everyone loves daphne ♥s derby: Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night, This idle hour just wont pass I've never missed you this much, never thought I would, Didn't think you'd feel so far away ♥♥♥ I'm thinking of your vague reply So I can understand Why we put this at rest Why we forget to Say that we were leaving Say that we were sorry The past remains unspoken As this vacant night is dying ♥♥♥ I'm still waiting for you to say you hate me now So I don't have to hold on to this burning heart This burning heart is getting old While sitting on this cold kitchen floor, Head down to hide the tears, I've finally realized that you were never meant for me ♥♥♥♥ break it down

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