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[18 Sep 2004|03:34pm] |
i havent seen brenton since the football game. not seeing him is really getting to me. i havent talked to him for 2 days either. but other than that, about 4 days ago i sliced my leg open again. me and kar were skateboarding on torrance road, and when we were walkin back up we started breaking bottles, and when i went to pick up one my foot fell through a storm grate that was all rusty and shit, and it cut my leg about 5 inches long and 1 inch deep. so yeah, it sucks. but anyways, i miss brenton alot !!! I love him with all my heart, and im hoping he thinks the same. well i best be goin, laterz !!
brenton--> i love you baby boy, always will !!
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[01 Sep 2004|06:27pm] |
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school is alright, but then gay. i mean seriously, last year was osm !! like last year we had everybody at our lunchtable, this year theres like 5 people. its gay. dakota is a fuckin loser. he trys so hard for everybody to hate brenton, but guess what??? they all think hes awesome !! im about to punch the kid in the fuckin face if he keeps talkin shit on me, my boyfriend, or my friends. he thinks hes so kewl, when actually i think hes on fuckin crack or something. lol. but anyways, things been on my mind lately. i hate when my bestfriends talk to my boyfriend. i absolutely hate it. i always think hes gunna start liking one of them. i mean brenton always tells me it wont, but then you never know. seriously i feel like all my friends will try something on him. i mean i lost boyfriends before that way. it fuckin sucks. i really dont think brenton would do that though, i mean if he loves me like he says he does to me and my friends including my sister, then i dont think he would ever do something to hurt me. i love brenton with all my heart, and i really dont care what people say. hes my one true love. i have a feeling that something wonderful is gunna happen between me and him. hes wonderful in every single way, and im so happy hes mine !! I LOVE YOU BRENTON !!! ALWAYS WILL !!
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[29 Aug 2004|07:51pm] |
well tomorrow school starts. god damn it. lol. but anyways, im gunna be missing brenton like crazy !! im probably not gunna get to see him much, except at soccer games and stuff. but when he gets his license ill be seeing more of him. it sucks, i know. but thats the way its gunna have to be. but no matter what, ill always be by his side, and he'll always be in my heart. well hey im gunna get goin. sorry i didnt write all that much, but im tired so later !!
brenton baby--> i love you with all my heart !! you mean everything to me. if i didnt have you in my life, there would be no meaning for me to live. I love you baby, always will !!
^ the spaces between your fingers are meant to be filled with mine !! they always will be.
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[28 Aug 2004|05:06pm] |
well yesterday was absolutely great !! i got to see my baby, not only that, i got to kiss him and everything. it was so wonderful. just touching him gave me that greatest feeling in the world. idk i think hes the one im gunna be with for a long long long long time. karlie made us make-out. lol. but im glad we did !! hes amazing in every single way. i love brenton to death !! theres so many things i could say thats so wonderful about him, but i dont have 400 years to do that. lol. but anyway i best be going. later !!
brenton--> i love you soo much baby !! lastnite was great. i cant wait to spend time together. or until you get your license !! ;) I love you with all my heart sweetie, always will....
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[25 Aug 2004|03:27pm] |
well all im doin today is hanging out with karlie. omg, i cant wait till friday. i get to see brenton !! yay ! im happy. just hopefully his grandparents or his family dont see us together, or else we're screwed !! but other than that, i cant wait to see him. this is the first time we'll be hanging out since we've been together. and im hoping dakota doesnt show up or something. that'll suck major ass. but anyway im gunna get goin, i have no idea what to write.
brenton--> i cant wait till friday !! ill actually be able to spend time with you for once !! lol. but when you get your license that'll be even better. I love you so so much, its unbelievable !! i know we're gunna be together for a long long LONG time. i love you baby boy, nothing will ever change that !!
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[23 Aug 2004|12:22pm] |
well, thank god i havent been hearing from dakota in a while !! lol. but anyway, yesterday was great, but then it got worst. the great part is is that, i hung out with jamie and nichole, and we practiced our band alittle. ewww and then i found out jared basay likes me, and karlie and nichole. but he said out of all 3 i was the hottest. thats disgusting. but yeah, then nichole left. and me and jamie hung out. caleb stopped over and wanted me and jamie to back in the woods with him and his cousin and aaron. well when i was heading back, i sawl brentons truck down at his cuz's, so i told caleb i would catch up with him. and so me and jamie went walkin past this house like 4 times, and then finally brenton came out. omg hes hott. lol. the only thing that was running through my mind was that i wanted to run up and kiss him and give him the biggest hug ever. but anyway, me and jamie just sat there on the golf course for a little while, and finally he came up and sat down and we started talking. i was acting like the biggest retard ever. lol o ,well thats me, if you dont like it, fuck you. lol. but anyway, we sat there for like 20 minutes. and then his grandparents and his aunt came flying out of the house screaming their heads off. ( they all hate me hehehe )but i told jamie we gotta get our asses outta here, and we started running like there was no tomorrow. lol. and after jamie had to go, i went down to see my gurl karlie for a while. then got on the internet, and brenton was on. i talked to him for about and hour and some. idk. but then i left karlies . we were suppose to sneak out lastnite but we decided not too. but yeah, that was yesterday. today ummm me and karlie are going shopping with my mommy. yay !! so anyways i think im gunna go. later !!
brenton--> baby boy like you said NO family is gunna get in the way of us. and im gunna stand by you the whole way through, until they relize they cant do shit to tear us apart. I love you with all my heart, and would do anything in the world for you. i know we're gunna last a long long time together. I love you baby, nothing will ever change that !!
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[21 Aug 2004|07:33am] |
so many things are goin on today. first off im goin to a reunion with karlie all day. i wont be back till later tonite. like 9-10-11. then im just gunna stay at karlies tonite again. then my baby is geting his license test today. so i wish him the best of luck on that. then hopfully if he gets his license today he'll come over and see me tomorrow or monday. omg, i just broke up with dakota last nite !! it was the most painful thing ive ever been through in like my entire life. but if thats what it takes to be with brenton, ill do it. i still love dakota and everything, but i cant be with him and brenton, and anyway i think im better off with brenton, cause he at least treats me well. ya know? well im gunna go for now. talk to ya all soon. later.
brenton--> Baby I love you with all my heart. I broke up with dakota to be with you. mostly thats why. but anyway, you mean everything to me. your the most sweetest caring and loving person i know. you also make me happy. im so glad that we're finally together !! I love you sweetheart, nothing, i mean nothing, will ever change that.
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[19 Aug 2004|10:22pm] |
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this ones for brenton. baby i love you so so much, its unbelievable. you mean everything to me !! and i know we're gunna go a long way. we were ment for eachother. i mean come on, our birthdays are on the same day !! lol. ill always be here for you no matter what !! i love you baby boy, i always will, nothing will ever change that !!
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[18 Aug 2004|02:20pm] |
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listen, i havent broke up with dakota yet. yeah yeah i know i need too. but its really hard!! nobody has a clue how fuckin hard it is. but brenton, i promise i will baby!! I love you with all my heart babe. yeah people may say you cant love somebody in a week. well ive known you for like 5 years. and ive loved you for a long period of that time. you mean everything to me!! i seriously cannot wait to spend time with you. it'll even be better when you finally get your license !! haha, thats the begining of OUR good shit !! lol !! but anyways, i love you baby boy, nothing will ever change that. well g2g now. laterr!!
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[13 Aug 2004|01:16pm] |
omg, im actually happy im breakin up with dakota. i really love this kid !! god, i think of him 24/7. all my friends even said hes perfect for me !! if your wondering, his names brenton. im so happy knowing hes mine. i really do love him, i mean i have known him for like 5 years !! well i really dont know what to write !! later !!
Brenton love you !!
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[10 Aug 2004|09:07pm] |
god, so many things have happened !! idk about me and dakota anymore !! theres this one special person i cant get out of my head !! i really really like, i like love him !! ive known him for like 4 years or some !! i mean i really love dakota but, im havin 2nd thoughts. i think its time for me and dakota to take a break from eachother. cause i really wanna be with this person. i like him, ALOT !!!!!!! idk ill get back to ya later on it !!
--> you know i love ya !! ;)
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[05 Aug 2004|11:53am] |
Im gunna kick sarahs ass, i swear to god !! shes been spreading shit that aint even fuckin true about me !! shes in for a suprise !! hehe !! anywayz, yeah I havent been workin, i think i am today though, im not sure !!
People are starting to think that I dont love Dakota. Well, their wrong !! I love him more than life itself !! if I ever lost him, there wouldnt be meaning for me to be living in this world anymore !! hes always been there for me and i've always been there for him, yeah we fight alot, but that will never change the feelings i have for him !! I do love dakota and nothing will ever change that !! idk what more i can say !! hes my one and only love !!
well i better be going !! laterrr!
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[01 Aug 2004|03:09pm] |
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well I havent talked to dakota for awhile now. idk its been weird lately. last nite me karlie my sister and aj went to the movies. bill and joe popped up. we walked into the theatre to sit down and they were sitting right there. whata stocker. lol ! it was funny though. well me and karlie gotta job like wednsday or something like that, really sucks !! i hate working !! idk but I've been having some weird feelings for dakota, like i do have strong feelings for him and i love him, but idk !! well I best be going, anyway i really dont know what to write. so later !!
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[27 Jul 2004|05:43pm] |
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Well, i forgave Dakota !! he wasnt cheating on me, but he was flirting and stuff !! i dont know !! he might come over wednsday ! I talked to Brenton last nite on the phone, it was pretty funny !! haha he likes me, at least thats what he said !! o well !! idk what to write so i best be going !! later !!
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[24 Jul 2004|08:16pm] |
this is one of my new songs i just heard, it reminds me of dakota :
Just getting used to waking up everyday
Not seeing your face
I just began to stop setting your place
And I stop longing for your warm embrace
And it was God that made me able
To finally sleep at night
Though you're not by my side
Finally I don't hardly cry
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
I finally put your cloths away
You know the ones you wore the day
That you were taken away from me
I just began to stop wearing my ring
And I finally stop playin' our song
Whe I realizied I was dancin' alone and
Finally God gave me strength
To go on and breath again
See right when I start letting go
Somebody wants to let me know
Can they take your place
No they can't fill your space
No
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
God knows it's time for me to move on
I want to feel alive again
I want to be in love again
And no matter how hard I try
I can't erase you from my mind
And I gotta find somebody new
But I just can't give over you
I tried to move on but you're not gone
Cuz in my heart you still live on
See now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
And why
Now that you're gone I'm holdin' on
And deep in my heart
I wanna move on
And now I know why
I'll never love another for the rest of my life
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[24 Jul 2004|01:56pm] |
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holy shit !! i havent wrote in a long time. well things have changed over like the past month or so. karlie and joe are going out. and dakotas cheating on me. i just found this out yesterday, and i still never got to scream at him yet. god, life sucks. MEN ARE ASSHOLES !! the sad part is, is that, i loved him and i dont think ill ever love someone the way i ever loved him. he was my EVERYTHING !! it makes me mad knowing that he would do something like that and hurt me after he said he wouldnt !! idk what he just did makes me really over him !! lol !! anyway its okay cause i got a whole list of other boys i like : bill, josh, zac, aj although hes my sis's boyfriend lol, joe although hes karlies lol, and idk. lol. well idk what else to write to ttfn !!
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[04 Jul 2004|08:37pm] |
this is one of the saddest songs i ever heard, and i wanna show it to you all. its called " Whiskey Lullaby ". :
(Brad)
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,
Until the night.
Chorus:
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her 'til I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
(Both)
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
(Alison)
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,
Until the night.
Chorus: (Both)
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
They found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
Then they laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
--- Instrumental ---
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
--- Instrumental ---
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la...
so there it is !! hope you like !!
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[04 Jul 2004|02:03pm] |
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY !!
theres nothing really new. except that tonite me, kar nichole, and alot of other people are supposively watching the fireworks. and then my sister and her boyfriend aj are coming over to my house to set off explosives and stuff. anyway, lately i've been really depressed. not depressed depressed but sad enough. yeah, seeing karlie and joe hold hands and everything makes me think of dakota. i havent seen him forever, and havent talked to him for about 2 weeks straight. it may not seem like a huge deal, but it is to me. i feel like im losing touch with him, i really DONT want that to happen. we've been together for like 1 year and 3 months. i mean, i am only 13. come on. but i do love him with all my heart. i mean b/c i like that josh kid, and i think joes cute. that will never stop me from loving dakota. he means the world to me !!! and soooo much more. also, on top of that, brandies now mad at me. i dont know why, but, i dont wanna lose our friendship over something retarded. it also feels like karlie cares about joe more than her friends, but then, i know what shes going through. idk lifes just gay !! lol !! so anybody who ever thinks of killing themselves of hurting themselves, remember theres so much more to live for !!! g2g now. later !!
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[01 Jul 2004|04:00pm] |
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well today, im hanging out with joe bill and kar. hip hip. lol. anyway i bet u all heard about mary-kates anerxia. yeah, that made me really upset hearing about that. everything perfect in her life. she has everything i want. lol. but then she probably did it cause all the pressure put on her. she is only 18. so yeah. anyway, yeah, i havent talked to dakota in a week. sux real bad. i miss him soooo much. well im gunna be going now. later gator.
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[30 Jun 2004|12:17pm] |
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i havent wrote in a long while. me and karlie were at my dads house for 5 1/2 days. we had a great time though. we got to see all the guys at the baseball field. their great!! anyway i got to see this one kid i use to hate, man is he fine!! but hey, i got my baby, i dont want anyone else but him !! today i think ill be going over to my friend ang's house. ill be back tomorrow though. well hey, i gotta go hangout with kar kar. later.
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__starlitexoxo