okay..its time for me too express myself.. ive been crying for the past hour and a half. and ive been shaking continuiosly. alright let me tell the story.. me and kelcie have been together for almost a month now..and before me and him started going out, he liked my friend devan but she turned him down cuz she has a boyfriend. so then he asked me out. at first i didnt say anything, but then i ended up saying yes. and i absolutley fell in love with him after the first night i talked to him on the phone. but yeah. yins all know about my past relationship with brenton and him cheating on me with karlie. okay well, the friend that turned kelcie down spent the night over at my bestfriend angs house. the thing is that, kelcie lives right beside ang. and you probably pretty much guessed it. dev ( thats the girls name ) ang and kelcie are all gunna hangout, and kelcies gunna end up falling for dev again. im worried, im scared, im depressed..i just dont know who to trust anymore. after what happened like 5 weeks ago with kar and brenton.. im lost. idk who i am. ive been scaring my friends, and myself. idk how to say what im feeling. im just...TORN..and i realy dont know why. and theres really no one to talk to about it. except my older sister. but i doubt shell even understand what im going through. i just want my life back. i wanna be able to gain control over myself and my thoughts and how i feel on every situation that i come onto. ya know? and i guess the only way to ya know, try to express myself, is this journal. im really confused on everything right now..so if anyone could help..id cherish you forever..





1. people come up to me and ask me if i believe in forever
and i cant help but sit back and laugh
because with the way my life is going...
i dont even believe in tomorrow




2. *..`Whenever you love someone...
*..`How come its never the same?
*..`Whenever you need someone to trust....
*..`How come they lie to you?
*..`Whenever you wish you were dead...
*..`How come you never die?
*..`Whenever you think hes the one...
*..`How come he cheats you?
*..`Whenever your life seems perfect...
*..`Why does something always have to go completely wrong?









I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking </3 :(