All you had to say was yes.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 05:33:35 GMT

She's used to being flexible when she needed to be. She can bend backwards, do flips, and twist every which way. When you love someone that much, you do that. You bend and bend and bend....

"I hate you."

Her back broke.

Random Inspired Shit

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 05:19:21 GMT

She was tapping her pen, furiously. I wanted to make her stop, grab her hand, but I knew it wouldn't help.

So I sat there.

That's often the general reaction. You don't know what to do? You ignore it, forget it's there, especially when you're not supposed to know it. I knew this would be an awful time to tell her I loved her. I'm good at ignoring things. Very good.

I watch her put her coffee up to her lips (with the other hand) and we both know it's empty.

We don't know what we're waiting for or who. Maybe we're waiing for the world to change, like a cheesy John Mayer song. Or maybe we're just waiting for all the muck between us to clear, because, I tell you, that'd be fucking fantastic.

I wish she had worn that dress for me. That was a horrible thought and I want to bang my head up against the wall.Horrible. Or maybe I want to kiss her and make her promise I'm the only. But I know that's stupid too.

See, that's the worse thing: when you feel something you know is stupid.

So what do I do? I ignore it and get her another cup of coffee.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 05:08:42 GMT

There is just a point in your life when you're like, you know what? Hide the ketchup.

For Anja's....uh....belated birthday.

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 13:37:18 GMT

Rei's eyes flickered to Tala, then Kai, questioning. Kai just shrugged. He had had to bring Tala along.

Rei frowned and Tala refused to look at him, pissed to have been forced to come.

"I'll...go make tea..." Rei said after a few uncomfortable moments, trying to remember why he had ask Kai to come in the first place.

Rei could feel Tala's cold eyes follow him ashe moved hurriedly into the kitchen, desperate to get away. Kai shouted that he was heading to the bathroom, and not to worry, he knew where it was.

Tala was in the kitchen in an instant. Rei dropped a cup in shock as Tala's fingers curled around Rei's wrists.

"Why do you keep avioding me?" Tala growled, getting to the point.

"Tala, let go," Rei tried to say very demanding and angry but it came out as a whimper. He wished Tala hadn't come.

"I know you still love me, why deny it?" Tala pressed, taking Rei's chin in hand, forcing the bo to look at him.

Rei tried to squirm free.

"I know what I want...do you?" he whispered, his lips brushing Rei's aggressively.

Kai cleared his throat behind them.

"Tala..." Kai started, still confused. "I think it's time to go."

Tala's eyes didn't leave Rei's face. "Indeed."

For Chibi

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 01:02:22 GMT

((I totally didn't see this episode. I winged it. Did also in like...3 minutes *sweatdrop*))

It was one of the most important battles in the history of the world and Tala could care less. Well no—it wasn’t that he didn’t care, he did, because if that bastard one, everyone was basically screwed but still…it didn’t seem real to him.

He looked over at Kai who was staring down at the match, focused. Tala knew Kai was wishing he was the one down there battling, not Tyson. He knew it bugged Kai.

Tala stared at Kai until Kai returned the gaze.

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

“If Tyson loses?”

“Yeah.”

“That they’ll be no more Vodka Fridays?” Tala said sarcastically. Kai never could decide whether that annoyed him or not.

“Don’t you care?” Kai challenged.

“I tend to just go with the flow,” Tala said turning back to the battle.

It had taken years to turn Tala like this. After so many years of fighting the current, he finally decided to go wherever it took him.

“Do you ever worry?” Kai asked in disbelief.

“No,” Tala said pausing then turning to Kai, grinning. “It’s not worth my time,” he said, walking away, his hand brushing against Kai’s leg.

Poor attempt to get "me" back.

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 01:39:40 GMT

It’s not that bad, we could have died.

I look up at the ceiling. The holes were it looks as though a million pens poked holes right through, if we had the patience. I pull you a bit closer, just to make sure you’re there. You’re one of those people that question everything someone says, but as soon as I need you, you shut right up. I wish I could tell you how annoying that is.
I tug at your dress under the covers because I know you hate that, and love it at the same time. We only have a thin sheet over us, because it’s warm, but not too warm. It’s not raining anymore, although it was. It always rains when you cry, like you hold this special power that you refuse to share with me.
Sometimes I want to strangle you, you know? Laying in bed with me, your long fingers to damn perfect, and everything you do ,too damn perfect. It’s like you never have a moment, to come down to my level, only moments where you pull me up to yours.
I don’t love you, if that’s what Mother means. It’s impossible to love someone like you, and you know it and I know it and you even hum it when you make coffee in the morning.
You have a bruise on your left leg and I have one on my right arm. And whenever someone laughs, you just giggle and say ‘We’re lucky.’ But we both know, and they know, I’m not lucky.
I’m some punch-drunk kid who sings off key and lives with an angel who would never tell. She tells me she’s here to lift my life out of the gutter but I can’t imagine why.

And she can never explain without getting sappy.

Pick your poison.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:30:16 GMT

Sarah kept her head down in the hallway. She had figured when she woke up that morning, that maybe if she put on all that black make-up, maybe, just maybe, people would notice that and ignore the circles under her eyes.

She walks by the dark kids, the self-proclaimed "goth" kids. They know she doesn't belong with them and glares as she seems to try and take refuge in the same dark, damp cave they do. She walks faster.

She sits in her classroom, hands in her over-sized pocket, leaning over to her backpack, and her over-sized t-shirt hangs, not that she wears a bra anymore. Not that she needs it.

She hears a girl whisper that it's disgusting, looking at her and Sarah remains silent. What do they know.
Sarah's surpised she's gotten away with it this long. She's one of the fewwith it, with this disease that knows. God, she knows. She can't pay attention to the lesson, her mind wonders and spins and hurtles itself from subject to subject, none mattering in the least. Then she starts seeing things she knows can't exist. She feels like Alice in a fucked-up Wonderland, in a fucked-up world.

Her head hits the cool tile with a sickening crack.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:22:18 GMT

Dude...I've been writing a lot of religious stuff. What's wrong with me?

Also it would probably offend every single Christian in world. Not sure I need any more enemies >

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:19:52 GMT

I have found
after many years
that I do not need
pretty words
to get my point across.

For chibi_kitsune06

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:31:23 GMT

You always fold, just at the end.

Ginny sat on her side of the couch, pouting and annoyed. She heard Hermione, cooking in the kitchen, banging pots a little more than she needed to. Ginny gritted her teeth. She wouldn't be the one to give in this time.

Ginny always ended up being the one to give in. And people said she was stubborn! It wasn't her fault that Hermione was over-sensitive. She got pissed over small things and then wouldn't talk to Ginny until she apologized, and Ginny was normally lucky if she was even told what she had done.

So now, there she was fuming, with another pissed off Hermione in the kitchen, what to do?

She knew she should have gone for a bloke, she thought bitterly. At least they didn't PMS.

Ginny sighed. She wondered where her backbone wnet when she walked into the kitchen.

Her mione instantly started moving faster, trying to look busy. Ginny tried to snake her arms around the other womans waist but was pushed away.

"Hermione..." she whined and moved again, trying to get ahold ofthe brown-haired wonder's arm, trying to get the stubborn witch to look at her. Hermione pushed Ginny away from her and flicked her wand to show she was serious. Ginny shrieked, mostly in annoyance as Hermione walked coldly by her and Ginny was left, swatting at her head. "No fair, using my favorite hex against me!" she yelled after Hermione.

Ginny was equally pissed by now. "Fine! I'm outta here!" she yelled at the top of her lungs and Apparated to the Burrow. At least she was welcome there.

~*~*~*~

Ginny tried to seem interested in Charlie's stories but couldn't seem to concentrate. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Sorry, what'd'ya say?" she asked Charlie.

"I asked if ya were alright," Charlie said in an accent that he had picked up in his travels.

"Uh, oh, yeah. Fine," she said distracted.

"Another fight?"

Ginny sighed, feeling worn out. "Yeah."

~*~*~*~

"What the hell did you do?" Ron accused.

"Why do you automatically assume it was me?" Ginny asked, insulted.

"She came to my house crying, Gin!"

"Good riddance!" she shouted back, meanly. She knew she didn't mean it.

Ron stopped and looked at her, shaking his head. "Gin, I don't know what to do about you sometimes."

"I'm so sick of her. She starts fights and I never know why, then she sheds a single tear and then everything's my fault!" she said sinking to her knees, tears of her own slipping through her barrier.

Ron sat down cradeling his baby sister in sympathy.

~*~*~*~

When Ginny got the news, it was a week later. She was asleep in her bed, hair tangled, mascara running, eyes puffy. She had cried so many tears she wasn't sure she had anymore.

But when Bill came into her room later that day, she found she could. She damned it, the whole thing. She damned the wizarding world. She damned the stupid bastard who hadn't looked where he was going. She damned her stubborness, normally she walked Hermione to work everyday. She damned their luck, that the both worked in the most dangerous department in all of London and that she would die of something so trivial. And that Ginny, the "tough" girl, would end up to die of a broken heart.

~*~*~*~

And standing in her no-longer-second-hand black dress, watching her love being lowered, she wished she had just let some things go. She wished she had told her she loved her, just one more time.

The first thing she did when she got home was cut her hair, the one thing Hermione always loved them most. With tears in her eyes, she knew she was no long Ginny Weasley without her.

For Anna (Brookie Anna), so she'll stop bitching.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:16:33 GMT

Damn, I need to find a way to seperate Anna, Brooklyn Anna, from Girlfriend Anna.

((Yes Anna, I did bend the rules, notice, I didn't break, just bent.))

Ways to kill/freak out/disgust/piss his pants/etc. Kuwabara.

-Make him fight someone bigger than him. Or the same size. Hell, even smaller than him.

-Tell him Yukina is a demon, but don't specify that she is a nice demon.

-Dump a bucket of water on his stupid sword.

-Tell him Yusuke has died and that he is the new leader of the team.

-Tell him that his hair is not possible by the laws of gravity.

-Shave his head.

-Tell him that it's okay, it looks better that way.

-Snap him with a rubber band and laugh when he crys.

-Tell him that even a girl could beat him, wait for Pride to set in, then prove it.

-Ditto with a five-year-old.

-Pretend that you accidently got him stuck in Demon World.

-"Accidently" get him stuck in Demon World.

-Miss you target, shooting him with a spirit gun, right through the heart. Again, accidently.

-Secretly root and place bets on the other team who is facing Kuwabara and if it's a tag team, just stand back and watch.

-Subscribe him to gay porn and catch him jacking off to it.

-Take pictures.

-Send said pictures to Yukina. Although Yukina is fine, it is to good of an oppurtinity to pass up. Sorry, Yukina.

-Tell him Kurama really is a guy.

-Play "We all gotta die someday" whenever he enters the room.

-Or Hello Kitty theme song.

-Place random body parts in his bed.

-Tell him that the PowerPuffs girls aren't real. And they're underage anyway.

-Take away his rap collection.

-Paint his nails pink while he sleeps then laugh at him when he doesn't take it off.

-If he says he can do something, make him do it, because most likely he's lying and trying to impress someone. Shoot him down.

-If he calls Hiei vertically challegned, say that he is challegned in shortness in another subject.

-Convince him that this is all a dream and he will wake up any minute.

-Watch as he pinches himself several times, leaving pink welts.

-Give him scissors and tell him to run really fast. Then sit back and watch.

...

-Tell him Hiei has proclaimed his undying love for him. He will die from shock. (Yay!)

Stupid AB Scema...WHY DID I DO IT?

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:35:07 GMT

I once knew a man

I thought it was sad

He thought all his ex-relationships were bad

What about all the memories he had?

Every single was a lesson learned in life

Even if they didn’t go to bed with him at night

He skipped his lessons, flunked his grade

And in his life he wasn’t okay

The lesson wasn’t hate

All he could think of was how much of a bitch she was

But what about the sketches you drew of her

That set you of onto a rainbow journey?

I once knew a wise man

A man who loved the things he hated the most

And made friends with ghosts

He never grew colder only nicer

And when he fell, he wanted to fall faster

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:33:39 GMT

Some random thoughts poorly put together with chunky glue and scotch tape.

Walkin’ down the street, just like always

Know where to find her

Never changes

Like the fazes

Always there for me…

Not like those girls you see at the mall

She teaches me all the ropes

How to lick the men

In bar fights

How to swipe a pack of gum from the local Mart

Destined for greater things

but never made it there

I’m kinda hoping she won’t

Don’t want to be left behind again

During bonfires she burns her drawings

Just cause it makes her feel wild.

No one ever understands her but that’s the beauty

She told me to watch out for them boys

And to always shoot them first

Before they shoot me

And I listen to everything she says.

Her hair’s never down

Says it annoys her and she’ll shave it one day

But she never does

We used to worry about her but we know she hates it

Greatest woman I’ve ever seen

She hates herself more than I could ever know

But she’s…

Beautiful

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:32:13 GMT

Been thinking about this story for awhile and have been writing short excerpts from my mind.

It was my second day in the military when I met her. She was a cook. She told me to keep walking that I don’t have much time. Her face was distant and blank. Later I found out she was an orphan, here since 16. Love interest of our commander. Taken off the front line for being careless with her own life, now on kitchen duty. Heavy with a gun. She can flank like no other and has now offered to help me. Commander doesn’t like that, not at all. And as I go to war I have a feeling she will come with. She’s just a normal girl, normal.

Beyblade fanfiction for Brookie. Song is owned by Death Cab For Cutie.

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 00:10:25 GMT

For Brookie. The girl who seems to hate Hetero Pairings.

Don't have to watch the series to understand.

This pairing makes me gag.

Oh well.

No longer easy on the eyes.

"Hey Tyson."

Tyson looked up an met the eyes of a boy he hadn't seen in so long, too long.

Because in his mind, this person was still a boy. He still saw the out-of-control pony-tail, that had been cut short in recent times. He missed it.

You may tire of me...because I'm not who I used to be.

"Why are you here?" Tyson asked, fiddling with random objects.

"Because I want to be," Rei answered simply.

"Where's Mariah?"

"Not here," Rei answered vaguely again.

He still had the same intense eyes, that Rei. Tyson could feel himself becomign the victim of them again. And the worst part was that Rei never came in with bad intentions. That's what made it hurt more when it all went wrong, like it always did. No matter what happened, Tyson could never hate him.

There was a rumr going around that all Beyblading teams of boys turned gay and looking at Rei he could believe it. He had spent many years together with Rei, on that team. So many long hard years, filled with yelling and shouting and winning and losing.

"Why did you come back?"

"I always come back."

Tyson's head spinned at the answers Rei gave him, none giving a direct answer. Rei had always been like this, he had almost forgotten. He played minds games that were almost too much to handle and just when Tyson was about to give up, Rei would always pick him up off the ground.

He remebered the pain he felt at Rei's wedding and even more when his daughter was born. The shame of his dispair when he should have been happy. that was when he cut himself off from his team. From everyone he had ever known.

These wrinkles masterfully disguise the youthful boy below.

"Where's Hilary?" Rei asked, now being the one with questions.

Tyson sighed and dug his fingers into his hair. "I have no clue," he said slightly frustrated.

Hilary was always coming and going, faster than he could keep track of.

"Do you love her?" Rei asked, still standing in the doorway.

"You can come in, you know," Tyson said dodging the question, his eyes pleading for him to just drop it. He was already worn and bent, Rei didn't have to break him the rest of the way.

"Do you love her?" he asked, moving closer, only a step away. Every detail in view, of his body, was evident. Some things never change....

"I don't know.." Tyson said. The marriage had been so quick, so unsteady. There were times that were perfect but there were others nights where they couldn't even look at each other.

Rei kneeled down, their faces close. "I hate seeing you like this," he said seriously.

"You wouldn't know, would you," Tyson said bitterly. Rei was never around when he needed him.

"I could feel it," he whispered, his eyes begging for forgiveness and Tyson wanted to give it so badly but it felt like a forfiet. It still wasn't a full victory, although he never could win against Rei. Rei always ended up having the upperhand.

But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize when he catches his reflection on accident...

Their lips met in familiarity before Tyson even knew it. Rei pushed Tyson back, dominating. He put his hands out behind him, to support his body. A leg brushed Tyson's and his body woke up, alive. The past caught up and his present was forming and his heart warmed and mind soared

But soon it was over and Tyson could feel the concious of a wife and a kid each set in and Tyson wished they could undo it all.

Rei slowly got up as if every bone in his body would break if he moved to fast.

"You're going again?" Tyson asked, heart-broken, as Rei reached the door.

Rei turned and gave a sad smile. "I always come back."

Doc 1. Original fic.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:38:27 GMT

Bathroom, Stall 3, 4A Lunch

Charlie told Lisa told Kellie told Greg told Jamie told Stephie that Carrie slept with Nikki, even though she's dating Matt.

I can't imagine le5bian sex would be much fun.

***

Breakfast, Saturday Morning, 7, Coffee Napkin (Stained)

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't drink this stuff. It's Chai Tea.

And everytime

I drink

it I think

of how you used to

put it to your lips

and make a

mustache

just for

my amusement

and how you'd

never leave without one

and how

ten minutes later you'd

have to pee.

***

Post-it by Computer Desk

I wonder what the difference is between liking a girl and just envying her. We're studying the Seven Deadly Sins in school. I know Envy is on there...I wonder whether thinking you're a lesbian and attracted to your only real friend is on there too.

Lust's got to be.

***

Written on the Wallpaper, covered by a poster

Dyke + Pixie= BBForevereverever!

***

Convo with Pixie Online

PurplePixie999: Hey

AbdctedbyTnFl: Hey

PurplePixie999: was up?

AbdctedbyTnFl: i <3 you

PurplePixie999: hehe

PurplePixie999: :)

PurplePixie999: I <3 you too, dyke

***

Note passed in Art

You still love me?

Yeah, why?

Dunno...

***

Grafitti in the girl's bathroom

Pixie &hearts: Batman

***

Talking to Batman in the lunchline.

Dyke: You like Pixie?

Batman:...Yeah.

Dyke: She ever act weird around you?

Batman:...No.

Dyke: Well...I don't think she lieks you very much.

*walks away, declining the turkey lunch that looked very much like bile*

Convo with Pixie over the phone that night.

Pixie:Did you talk to Batman today?

Dyke: No

Pixie: *pause* He said--

Dyke: You know what, Pixie? I g2g, sorry, mom's yelling at me.

*click*

*paints nails*

{{Author Note: TBA...if I care enough or anyone else does.}}

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:32:47 GMT

We're sitting her

basement, comparing bra

sizes. Something I swore I would

never do when I was

little. That I would never be so frillious but it's

so easy to be sucked into a vain

world and here we are

talking about our bras and how

at least us girls who aren't stick figures have

one asset that those skinny

ass girls don't. But sadly, it

doesn't make us feel

any better.

And we're just

pathetic.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:31:04 GMT

Falling Leaves

I sit here, at my computer, staring at the blaring screen adn for once, I hate it so much.

My eyes hurt and my hands are numb and I'm processing new information.

It was like a slap in the face.

I can still hear my dad's voice, explaining, pleading and my eyes defiantly fixed on the wall, between an ad for Wicked and an old Ricky Martin picture taped on my wall from when I used to like him. Livin la vida Loca.

My mind's racing. Listening to him. Going through a check-list of things he might see if he stays in my room much longer. All the places i would rather be right now. What I have to do after he leaves and what I will do tomorrow.

I blink back tears in the middle of the timeline because, yes, I am still listening.I listen and try to find the memories I still have and used his words as patchwork to put back together my 5 year old mind and then later my 4th grade mind.

As he reaches a certain part, my heart stops and my brain stops and strains before turning backwards in counter-clockwise, the wheels turning too fast.

I peice things together, things he doesn't say directly, out of shame, but that he means.

I can't believe it and it kills me even more than when she died.

Bile rose in my throat as I thought about it, only focusing about it.

She had asked to see me. She had wanted to visit me not long before she killed herself.

She had wanted to see me. Talk to me, hug me.

And they had said no.

They had denyed her me, denied her her child. No one had asked if I had wanted to see my Mommy.

My anger flared at the thought, even if it was unreasonable. I was only in 4th grade and desicions like taht weren't mine to make.

But it hurts so much more now that I knew a little under a month later, she would die.

When people are sad, they're often unreasonable and when they're unreasonable, they blame people that weren't at fault.

No one knew it would happen, so why does it burn so much?

Have you ever listened to someone say "Falling Leaves"? It always sounds like they're saying "Fallen leaves", as if they are already gone. Is that it? Are we gone before we even start? Is that it? Are we bound to get so used to something, some comfort then we fall from the tree and it never hurts at first until a step crunches us finally and kills us without killing us all the way and we just hope and pray for the wind to finish the job. Oh, it's so sad.

And when he leaves, he hugs me and wants me to hug him back. I can smell his cheap cologne and his sorrow. I can hear his retching pain as a dagger is driven into his heart, knowing his daughter is gone. She is not his daughter.

And instead of hugging him back, I wanted to push the dagger in further.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 01:50:22 GMT

I put myself down becuase I feel like crap. And I think I write like crap. I draw like crap. And general crappiness.

Stop.

And in one word she can shut me up.

Stop.

But then I feel selfish for basically setting up the opportunity for her to compliment me.

Stop.

But really, Onna! I was being such a---

Stop.

And I do because...

I'm willing to believe she's always right

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 01:47:50 GMT

They really don't

know us and it's

sad.

They don't know I like

you.

They don't know I

like girls.

They don't know because it's so

much less complicated this

way and I

hate complications.

They don't know I'm in your

house.

In your

room.

Instead of my cousin's house, in

his room.

That don't know that

I'm sitting on your bedroom

floor.

Or that we're staring at

each other.

Or that I can hear

the TV in the other room.

Or that we are giggling now

just because it's so funny.

They don't know that we're sneaking out because we

feel suffocated and nervous

in there.

We go outside where at least the

air I know and somerthing is

familiar.

And I relax.

We seem to be

world's away

but the swings are still

the same.

And we swing on them gently until I'm not

on mine

or you

aren't on yours and we're

swinging together.

They don't know that we took

over the slide and that

we laid there for hours

and only talked for about ten

minutes.

They don't know we're just a couple of crazy adolescences at

a park after hours

loitering in each

other's arms because

this is what we believe is

love, and we're willing to tell anyone

else to fuck

off.

They don't know that I

come back to the hotel

late.

And that my grandma asks if

I had a good

time.

And that I can't answer because I'm just so

damn happy.

Why have I been in this mood lately?

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 01:44:37 GMT

We're at the mall and I'm

holding your

hand and they're

laughing.

"Just ignore them," I

say and squeze your hand tight and pull

you away but you're

angry and I understand.

Mom laughs cause she says I PMS enough for

one and both of us would be

chaos but I tell her that

it's not for her to

decide.

I tell you to forget them

all because they don't

matter.

All that matters is

that you are

mine and that you

love me and the moment we

have because we never know when

the next one will be and that

is what is so exiciting and scary

at the same time and I

love it.

Inspired by Shadow's lastest, though not nearly as good lol.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 02:51:06 GMT

I've waited so long,

And our breaths melt and blend,

And our fingers move to fast,

Fumble then work then fumble again.

The danger of someone coming home,

And I'm laying in your bed,

That smells so much like you

Even though I know you never sleep in it.

You dominate, just like I knew you would.

You tease me so, like you always do

And the clasps unclip and my bra falls

To somewhere, where I know I will never find it.

And your parents will come home and

We'll pretend to sleep, keeping the covers up

To disguise our precious bodies that have come undone.

And our legs will tangle under the hseets as we wait and they will never know

They will only see us being kind

As best friends should

And our hearts will beat so loudly that we'll be surpised they can't hear them

And we'll giggle about this for years after.

d_s_silver's request

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 00:11:54 GMT

This was very difficult to write, omfg. Not guarteeing anything.

Auror vs. Death Eater and the Death Eater was winning.

"I won't call them," Tonks said stubbornly.

"I know you won't, dear," Bellatrix responded lazily, her legs crossed gracefully as she sat back in her chair sipping the wine.

Gods, Tonks wanted some of that wine, she was so thristy. She hadn't drank in days.

Bellatrix set the wine down and stood up. Tonks noticied everything was graceful with the woman, everything a wicked beauty. She tried to turn it badly but couldn't and she found herself staring at the Death Eater.

Bellatrix let one finger trail down Tonks' throat, leaving a pink scratch with the razor sharp nails that she adorned. Tonks' head instinctvely went up but Bellatrix just followed.

She sized up her options. Her wand was in half. Her arms bound too tightly above her head and her ankles as well. The more she squirmed, the tighter they got.

She cursed.

"Nymphadora...I never met you as a child. Well once, to kill you but other than that, I never have. They say you're special. Can't be too special though," she said circling the younger girl, her eyes scanning critically. "You've got dirt blood..."

"Lovely," she said to her aunt which recieved her a slap.

"Did your mother never teach you to respect elders, girl?"

"Not you," she retorted back and this slap made a mark, from a ring Bellatrix turned, cutting her neice's face. Tonks' face changed in pain.

"You're very snarky for a girl that doesn't matter to anyone, who can die instantly," Bellatrix said raising an amused eyebrow.

Tonks spit at her feet and Bellatrix looked a mixture of outrage and disgust.

Bellatrix wrapped her fingers around the girl's throat.

Bellatrix realized how delicate this girl really was.

Tonks realized how slender, vicious, dangerous, pale the hands that held her life at mercy were.

"You're lucky that you make me curious for I could squeeze the life out of you right now."

Lucky, I bet, Tonks thought and Bellatrix caught the look on her face and knew what she was thinking.

"I wonder what your dear Remus would say if he knew his dear girlfriend had been raped?" she asked, a wicked smirk on her face.

Tonks looked at her as Bellatrix let her hand trail down Tonks curves, ones Remus never really appeciated.

"I'm not really into girls," she continued. Her hand landed between Tonks legs and she pushed upward, through the witches pants. "But this time I think I could make an exception," she said smiling sweetly which sent shivers down Tonks' spine.

That one movement awakened Tonks body. The more she protested to her mind, the more awake it got.

Bellatrix grinned at the reaction.

Tonks started changing. Maybe if she was someone else it wouldn't feel so much like her. Maybe if she turned into someone else, someone Bellatrix would not harm, or at least like this, she would leave her alone. Or at least kill her with her pride still intacted.

"No," she said forcibly. "I want you as you normally are. I want to see what Remus sees in you," she said her nail digging into Tonk's delicate skin.

A trail of blood ran down Tonks neck and Bellatrix eyed it. Her smooth tongue caressed Tonks neck and sapped up the running blood with satisfaction.

Her hand moved down and squeezed a tender breast. Tonks yelped. Bella just grinned.

Bellatrix moved to the girl's back, where she couldn't see or know what to expect. Her canines dug into the juncture of Tonks' neck, creating a river of blood and a pained expression from the victim.

"You're a monster," Tonks whispered, her strength leaving her. Bellatrix just ignored her. It didn't matter what this failure thought of her. Not now, not ever.

Bellatrix slowly ripped the shirt, delighted at the tearing noise it made as it desecended, exposing more of the girl's pale back. Her eyes reached a scar that crossed the Auror's back. Her lips curled and her fingers trailed it. "That was my mark on you. Let's make a new one shall we?" The scar told a story of Bella's mad rage towards the child. She had matured more since then and preferred other ways to make the deserving die.

The tip of her wand seared and she dragged it down the girl's back, curving, forming into a B. Tonks screamed in pain as the wand burned her flesh and her back arched, trying to get away. The ropes cut into her skin more.

The elegant cursive letters wrapped from the back to her bellybutton. An e then an l, another and an a, spelling the name of her torturer, ending with an x. So, even if she survived, she could never forget.

Bellatrix burned the girl's pants off, the heat threatening. Tonks bit her lip in pain and her throat screamed a wordless pain. The pants fell to the floor, still burning into nothingness. Bellatrix loved the fire, the destrution. One fire could destroy centuries of work. She loved it.

She lazily drew the viscious wand in a circle around the girl's thigh, dangerously close. The smell of burning flesh filled the room and bile rose in Tonks' throat, knowing that it was her own.

"I'm going to make this as painful as possible," Bellatrix whispered into the girl's ear before biting it, blood soaking into her hair.

Bellatrix pushed a finger in and raked her nail against her insides. Tears welled up in Tonks eyes uninentionally. Her legs squeezed shut.

"Uh uh," she chided and forced the legs apart, letting her tougne rape the entrance.

Tonks moaned and screamed unwanted pleasure and pain running through her body.

Bella withdrew and stood full height. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she said laughing. That terrible laughter that resembled fingernails on chalkboards, raking down at an agonizing slow pace.

No Tonks was not enjoying this. She would rather be anywhere else at that moment.

Bellatrix took Tonks chin in her hand and forced the girl to look at her.

"You look just like your mother," she said absently then her expression changed.

"I want you to kiss me like you would kiss him," she said and she forced her lips on the other's chapped ones.

Tonks resisted but Bellatrix pressed herself against the bound girl and one hand went around her waist and dug in the her stomach, threatening.

Tonks pretended she was somewhere else, kissing someone else.

She could feel, see, taste, smell her torturer's red lipstick smearing on her own lips. Tonks could feel Bellatrix's sly tougne forcing itself into her small mouth. She could feel the older woman's hunger that she had been able to hide so well before...but now Tonks knew.

Now she knew.

Soon her bonds were down and Bellatrix took Tonks in her long arms and kissed her like she was sure she had never kissed Rodolphus.

And kissed her like Remus never had either.

Tonks forgot who this was. Who she had killed.

She got lost in the need this woman had for the human touch, for her touch. Her intense kiss unajrred her, taking away years of Auror training on self-control.

Until it all came back at once and her eyes shot open in realization. Panic and bile rising again.

Then everything moved so fast...

Tonks chest heeved up and down and her wand did not move.

"Have you not learned yet, Bellatrix, what love can do to you?" she asked, her voice hoarse. "It drives you...insane."

With that she stepped over the dead body. The beautiful body that had once had her scared out of her wits but now she knew she was just a woman. That disappointed her for some reason. She passed a mirror and looked in at her black hair, the last thing she would steal from this woman. She didn't dare touch it.

She left, closing the door behind her, suddenly having more energy than ever. She started running and didn't stop until she reached Grimmaund Place. She didn't stop until her face was beat red and she collapsed on the steps. And even then, in her mind, she never stopped running.

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:19:03 GMT

I've decided, instead of swamping this journal with my old writings, I'm going to go back and put everything I can find that I wrote, into memories so you call can see it. And if they're friends, I'll try and remember to unfriend them lol.

Torn in the directions.

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 18:36:40 GMT

This is short drabbles set around the Weasley family, all interconnected. Reading them in order might help.

Enjoy. Tell me which was your fav.

(PS: I am working on the requests right now.)

Ginny was spunky.

She was reckless and impatient and strong.

She was red and pale and sad.

She was watchful and cautious and venegful.

That was why she had to be the first to go.

And her body dangled from the air like a temple, like a Goddess on display.

But that wasn't what the Dark Lord had meant, but even from her dead body, Ginny raised hell.

And the war went on without her, maybe even started because of her.

But to Luna, the world should have stopped for her.

Ron hated how Ginny was always flirting with boys.

Ron hated how the Twins had Katie and Angela and each other.

He hated how Percy had the ex-Head Girl.

He hated how Charlie had his dragons and that girlfriend with an accent.

Ron hated that Bill had Fluer and they were soon to be married.

He hated how Harry had Hermione and Ron had no one.

He hated that Harry went in alone.

Ron hated that Ginny and Hermione went off on some undercover work.

He hated he was stuck at the Burrow that was so empty. Too empty.

He hated that he was the last man standing.

Ron hated that that had happened.

He hated that out of everyone, he was the only one that didn't have someone out there waiting for him.

He hated that he always happened to be the only one not to die.

Fred and George had always been part of a team.

They had been a team, even as Ginny died.

They watched Bill transform painfully and they heard their sister-in-law's horrified screams.

They had both been there when one of Charlie's beloved dragons went down in a stream of smoke and as their brother went with it.

They saw Percy get dragged out of hiding and slaughtered in the streets.

They saw Harry take a hit, protecting Ron,and Hermione take a hit protecting Harry and both of them going down.

And when George went down Fred already knew he was dead. George was dead and so was Fred.

Fred pointed his wand at himself. Because they were a team and unfortuantly the show could not go on. Not anymore.

Because a team was a team and half could not do. He muttered a curse into his chest and it hevied once. He saw Ron's eyes widened in shock and a scream escape his mouth but Fred was down and his body laid over George's.

Because the show could simply not go on.

*** ***

Percy Weasley was a coward.

Just as he had always been.

He hid while others fought. He hid.

But he was hiding a baby that was within the woman he loved.

When the Death Eaters knocked down the door he threw the portkey at her and sent her as far as he could.

And he was a coward for abandoning his love.

Or was he a hero for sacrificing for her as his blood squirted out of the street and he heard her scream one last time.

****

In that moment, all that mattered was one hit.

If he and Arya, his dragon, could kill one more he'd be happy.

Just one more.

Who are you to play God, Charlie? Decide who should die?

Ginny shouldn't have died, he thought and he sent another into flames.

Arya howled with pain and spiraled down to the ground that met them like a slap in the face.

Good-bye my love, he said stroking her scales, one more time, right before he died on impact.

Who are you to play God?

******

To Bill, eventually memories begin to fade.

Screams begin to blend.

Faces seem to melt.

And the pain sears.

He had always been the lucky one but now he wasn't.

And he couldn't even remember his name.

******

He didn't see them.

Arthur didn't see them as they died.

He didn't fight with them

He wasn't with them

Just like he hadn't his whole life.

He was always too busy.

And now they were gone.

And he was a broken man.

If only...

He fell on his knees, falling to the mercy of the If Only's that circled his head and just wouldn't leave him alone.

If Only.

Molly Weasley didn't know what to do.

She could take taunts.

And jeers and down-right cruelity.

But this...

But this was beyond her.

She got owl notices faster than she could read.

She wished she hadn't yelled at Ginny for not wearing that dress...

She wished she hadn't disapproved Ron's choice to follow Harry...

She wished she would have supported Fred and George's dreams...

She wished she hadn't argued with Percy when he had quit his job...

She wished she hadn't fought Charlie on going to Romania...

She wished she had accepted Bill's choice of a wife...

She wished she had and she sank to her knees.

"Oh Arthur, what have I done?"