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Saturday, July 26th, 2008

rebekahloom

12:00p voicemail breaks my heart dear sandra, im sorry i missed your calls, i was at work or doing something useless :( i miss you. a lot. love, your wife-to-be i dont really understand why i procrastinate the way i do. it makes my insides twist around and hurt and mold into a gooey mass of "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why am i like this." but i do it anyway. i think i need someone around to hit me on the head first thing every morning and tell me to get going. to stop being such a waste of meat. does anyone have a frying pan and some unexpelled angst? come over. current mood: full

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Thursday, July 24th, 2008

_bebella

2:23p My phone plan expires in August...and I'm thinking about switching companies, instead of resigning a contract, so that I can get a nicer phone. I have Sprint now, and I like the service...except that there are a lot of roaming areas up here in Northern Michigan...I can't even use my phone at my dads house, or when I go to Lake Michigan.... Soooo any recommendations?!  And also, any recs on phones? I'm thinking I want a blackberry...or something similar. I reallllllly want the iphone but I'm not about to spend that much money.

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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

a_sundays_drive

1:11a Tears She cries and cries. She sobs, she sniffles, she breaks out in tears, whimpering and weeping; she takes a moment to breath in heavily, and there is a gasp of air filling the empty lungs of hers, followed by a brief moment of silence which is concluded by more crying and wailing. The worst part? Knowing I can't be there for her. As much as my heart tells me to wipe away her tears, hug her, kiss her, and remind her it is alright, I know in my head she did this to herself. That is all for me. Goodnight.

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Monday, July 21st, 2008

donnyman

5:33p am i the only person who has not seen The Dark Knight

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Sunday, July 20th, 2008

rebekahloom

1:15a slogoeranoil im going to start creating words more because it seems i have no real capacity for remembering most of the real ones. i left work today with my hand covered in super glue. i could deliver a crispy punch and never feel a thing. its fun to peel off but not when the skin comes along. ive been thirsty all day. i think im being poisoned. my mom told me two nights ago, "you can write about it someday." it doesnt make crazy less so. and sandra, i know its strange to think theres two of them... but just be glad theyre not floating separately in the world, affecting it two fold. anyway, thats the way i come to terms with such things. current mood: Dm

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Friday, July 18th, 2008

boxsofrain

10:17p Fidelity I got lost in the sounds I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All these words I hear in mind All this music, and it breaks my heart... Suppose I kept on singing love songs, just to break my own fall. current mood: thoughtful current music: Regina Spektor - Fidelity

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a_sundays_drive

1:56a You want to know how I feel? Just ask me, but I'm giving you a fair warning it may not be what you want to hear inn all honesty. Ready for bed. Wayside sluts please take a number.

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Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

a_sundays_drive

7:27a Your lipstick, his collar don't bother baby.... Should have listened to mom. "When they cheat once they will cheat again," she said. Speechless is what I am. I trusted you twice knowing damn well I should not. I believed in us; how silly of me. I hope your happy with him because you won't see me running back this time. The best part is she could never understand why I couldn't trust her. LOL, It's because I knew you were lying to me the whole time, I just had to find out through him while he was partially drunk, drinking by himself. (Sounds like a great guy) Sorry you think your getting the wrong end of this deal, but you have had three chances to end with this guy and your refusal show you don't care about us. You are right you are the one being hurt here, because in the end it is you losing me as opposed to me losing you.

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Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

d_klein

1:59p Cheap Thrills A shift lever grommet on a 2004 GSX-R: A shift lever grommet on a my GSX-R: I like to ride.

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Monday, July 14th, 2008

a_sundays_drive

9:32p Friends, and wine I need this weekend to come sooner as opposed to later. This weekend is for the boyz back home. The ones I never see and always promise to come down and hangout with. I was supposed to see Batman 3 with Jessica, but that is not going to happen. Instead I'm going to take this weekend and enjoy it and hopefully find the answers. "Matthew I hope you know I love you very much, and what I'm about to say may hurt. I have always wanted more for you. You have been dating the same person since you were 19 and I think you deserve better. Look at the situation with your dad and I. Once they cheat they think they can do it over and over again and they think you will just take them back. (Me saying but mom she is trying and making an effort...) But you have to be the judge of that Matthew and I will support you and who ever you choose to be with. I just want you to know you won't ever be able to trust them again, because when they cheat once they will cheat again." - My mom tonight My mom loves Jessica, but she loves me more and I know she wants the best for me. It's hard to say goodbye to all of the memories and things we still have. I guess all of this is a test. If I take space and she runs to Tom then we know the answer. The same can be said if I pull away and she tugs back. Just trying to fix this and not get hurt. My gut has been right all along, and right now it is telling me I'm setting myself up for disaster. I guess we take the next month in stride and wait and see. More than nervous, and wanting our drunken talks of this weekend to begin. And in closing. I never thought it would be you. Silent Bob: [T]here's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work.............. Most of 'em just cheat on you.

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djpoprox

3:27p Well apparently I dont like going to LJ much, or I am just not on a computer a whole lot. I have been on my bike alot, 50 mile rides and all, getting the best tan i have ever had. And also being dumped after 9 months for drama that seems to come to you when you work at the mall and even speak to 16 year old girls. They somehow stalk you and find your girlfriend, and since you told them you have a girlfriend, they think they can somehow think they are better than her even when they are Underage B&, and proceed to make up all the drama and lies they can possibly think of, over the course of months even when they dont speak to you. Until it comes to a point where your girlfriend no longer believes you and doesnt care about proof. I mean i will do anything, ANYTHING to keep my relationship. But when she gives up there is nothing you can do right? I finally seem to have found some work that is not in the mall, I will know tomorrow. Why is it so hard in michigan to have a college degree and a job? I just cant seem to leave, I have my family and my gf here, but if one of those change, I see it fit to leave. If anyone has some room in another place for a Nathan til he gets on his feet, let me know lol. Until then I pray that my gf sees the light and I can plan a wedding and not a move.

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Sunday, July 13th, 2008

rebekahloom

9:05p what i want: i want to take pride in what i do.

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donnyman

7:41p Im alive...barely overtime is done in september, then i will be able to have a "normal existance" ...so whats everyone up to in my absence? I am looking for a new job...already. I am trying to get back into michigan i miss being near family, though i wont admit it to them i am also considering graduate school ...indecisive, thats me :)

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a_sundays_drive

5:46p So here I sit so confused by everything in my life. I have reached a pinnacle in my college career and it is time for me to start making decisions; moreover adult decisions. The kind of decisions that will have a large impact on my life. So do I stay or do I go? Do I take the internship, or don't I. I do I keep trying to make this work or do I throw you to the curb like I should have as soon as I found out the truth. My life is in chaos but I surprisingly feel contempt and relaxed. What do you do when all the trust is lost? I feel like we both have lost the trust. We are both hiding our own secrets and secretly planning for the worst. Deep down inside I know you talk to him and it kills me. I just want the truth so I can move on. This game is dragging on. I feel like we are moving sideways and things are not changing. Maybe I'm impatient, but I just feel a lot of emotion. I want to love her but can I? I feel like I'm stupid for trusting you the first time when I knew all of this was going on, and now I feel the same way and trying to trust her is killing me. I'm sure you just delete the text messages and I'm sure you delete the calls from him. I'm sure she deletes his emails and facebook messages as well, but I wouldn't anyways because I'm doing my best to not look and most of that I don't have access to anyways and if I did I'm sure she deleted it already. All I really want to say is look at how well he played you. He really was a great friend to go down your parents (If she didn't go down his first) and then lead you on then be like well I don't want a relationship, I still love my ex-girlfriend. Ohh how it feels to be played. The worst part is I saw it all along and did nothing but trust you that it was nothing more than my imagination and I was far from the truth. Frustrated to no end... looking for the end. All of these thoughts just circle in my head and I can't wait for the hour to come where I go to bed....... Enough for now.... I'm just frustrated and in need of the truth. current mood: frustrated

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