one is too many

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 02:40:50 GMT

Wow. Don't you LOVE reading old journals/diaries/etc.?

Wake up calls and good reminders.

Never fails.

<33

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 04:51:19 GMT

u4ea

Thanks. Add me if you'd like. This LJ just died.

INDEPENDENT 2004!!

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 18:15:34 GMT

BUSH VS. KERRY

So...who you votin for?
And if you can't vote...who would you go for?

I'm definitely going independent party this year. I think Kerry is an intellectual moron and Bush is, well, Bush. That's the short of it. My long opinion is just too...long. And I don't feel like going into a conservative vs. liberal schpeel. Although.. I am far from liberal.

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 16:49:51 GMT

My Lizzy is finally home <3 She sends me a scary IM yesterday saying she needs me and she's losing it and whatnot.. then tells me that her and John were staying at her house last night and they fell asleep on the couch. Then the next morning Liz's parents basically kick her out of the house (even though she has an apartment down the street) because her mom is paranoid that they were having sex in the basement. Her mother is CRAZY. But I went over to her apartment and she calmed down, we talked a little. Then I had to make my way to the boyfriend's house...things have been soo great lately. We went to the drive in last night, the first night in a long time we've been able to hang out together just the two of us all night long. We saw the bourne supremacy (decent) and anchorman (too stupid to be funny). I usually like stupid movies, and there were some incredibly hilarious parts but...overall, not a great movie. Although it had the BEST scene from a movie EVER...a dog getting drop kicked off a bridge. I thought I was in heaven.

Then we just went back to his house (since his fam is in Galena) and laughed and talked and everything for awhile...then I decided to leave since he had to get up at 7 am for work. Then I came home and fell asleep on my couch around 3 and awoke with a sore throat and stuffy nose. That's what I get for being outside at the drive in for four hours. Seriously, it's summer, and it was all of 55 degrees last night.

Today I just want to bum around and watch tv and lie in my bed. I'm sick sooo no working out today! Ummm..oh yeah I am addicted to ebay and my checking account is running very low, not good, not good.

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 02:26:38 GMT

What if I made the wrong decision. All my life growing up, I couldnt *wait* to "go off to college in Califoronia." It was truly my dream, to get out of this little suburban sheltered town I had lived in all my life and really experience the world.

And look where I'm headed...to a little university barely an hour away from home. In a beautiful town ten miles west of Chicago but nonetheless, it is still in Illinois, and still not out of my world. I just don't know. What held me back? A couple things. I think fear held me back a lot...senior year was a really tough year for me. It started out ok, but after getting mono in January in being bedridden for months everything went downhill. Then come April I entered a mental clinic for a couple weeks since my depression, mania, cutting, and overall life was just too out of hand. Yeah, so I guess I made my final college decision under the not-so-best circumstances. That was reason #1 I felt my California dream wasn't gonna happen. Then reason #2 was, the worst of any reasons, because of my boyfriend. I almost don't even want to say it - but I am in hopelessly in love with him. He gave up some big plans he had for himself for me, like going to Boston and studying music, his passion, HIS dream. And he is staying here for me, getting a job to make cash, and going to community college. And eventually he's going to get an apartment or condo right by my school. I just can't really imagine him *not* in my life. I don't see it. All I can see is me...and him. Together. And I don't do long distance relationships. If one of us left, that would be it...

Anyway. I am all set to go where I am headed. But that doesn't mean I can't transfer out. Since I made this decision without being in a clear state of mind, I figure if I still feel like I need to get out and continue to California or ANYWHERE but here next year, I'll transfer. Regardless of anything (aka friends/boyfriend) if I feel in my gut that I want to get out and experience a land different from Chicago, I gotta do it.. I don't want to look back in twenty years and say wow I had the chance of a lifetime and I blew it...I blew it...

But I Have a feeling that no matter what choice I make, I'm going to lose something.

F 9-11

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 15:30:31 GMT

Don't fall for propoganda!

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:02:42 GMT

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a	ten!
your best quality is	you dont follow the crowd
your worst quality is	you get pissed off alot
this is because	of who you are inside

Quiz created with MemeGen!

mark X if it is true and leave it blank if it isnt.

(X) I see a therapist.
(X) I'm the youngest child.
(X) I am drawn to things associated with sadness.
(_) I love my gauged earrings.
(X) I wear black eyeliner every day.
(X) I am extremely influenced by kindness.
(X) I love to write, even though I think I suck at it.
(X) I can't live without lipgloss
(X) I'm probably emotionally scarred.
(_) I lived in Tahoe.
(X) I spend money I have.
(_) I'll be in college for over 4 years.
(_) I love designer handbags.
(_) I've had a concussion before.
(X) I'm not good with confrontation.
(_) I loved the Backstreet Boys.
(X) I have more than a couple horrible memories.
(X) My first kiss was unexpected
(X) I'm not a fan of rap.
(X) I love taking pictures.
(X) I hate people who are fake.
(X) I can be mean when I want to.
(X) When I allow myself to get close to people, I get very attached.
(_) I am bisexual.
(X) I have way too many pairs of shoes.
(_) I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
(X) I dress how I feel that day.
(X) My room is painted a color other than white.
(X) I cry very easily.
(X) I'm always early.
(X) I barely ever study for tests.
(_) My birthday is my favorite holiday.
(X) I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
(_) I am a morning person.
(X) I wish I was smarter.
(_) I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
(X) I don't blame gay people for being gay, its not like they have a choice.
(X) No one really knows me.
(X) I don't have many bad hair days.
(X) I sometimes fight with my parents.
(X) I am passionate about my interests.
(X) I have had the chicken pox.
(X) I feel empty sometimes.
(X) I am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life.
(_) I am no longer depressed.
(_) I am very outgoing.
(_) Christmas is my favorite holiday.
(X) I can be very insecure.
(_) I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
(X) I hate ignorant people.
(_) I love the color yellow
(X) I love guys that play the guitar.
(X) I state the obvious.
(_) I'm a happy person.
(_) I have absolutely no self-confidence
(X) I've contemplated suicide.
(_) I hate cleaning my room.
(X) I tend to get jealous.
(X) I like to play video games.
(X) I love like John Mayer.
(_) I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
(_) I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat beef.
(_) I've had a crush on a teacher before.
(X) I am too forgiving.
(X) I have a good sense of direction
(_) I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
(X) I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
(X) I love kisses on the forehead.
(_) I love the color blue.
(X) I don't sew.
(_) I am not addicted to drugs.
(X) I wear contacts.
(X) I hate it when people say they hate Bush because he is a moron. Can't you find a better reason?
(_) I hate Bush, but I have reasons to justify it.
(X) I don't really follow the Political world.
(_) I don't take criticism well. At all.
(X) Conformity is stupid.
(X) Chris Carrabba is one of the sexiest men alive.
(X) So is Conor from Bright Eyes.
(X) I love my family.
(X) I don't mind getting shots.
(_) I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
(X) I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
(X) I can be too hard on myself.
(X) I'm probably going to have premarital sex.
(_) I don't like my nose.
(_) I am very religious.
(_) I still act like a little kid.
(X) I am ridiculously indecisive.
(x) I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
(X) I love music.
(_) Jesse Lacey writes the most amazing lyrics ever.
(_) I don't really like ice cream.
(_) I think the government is wrong.

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 03:41:08 GMT

I cannot wait for college. Oh man. I hope I'll be able to handle all the freedom. I had orientation from 8-5:30 today...sooo long but I met some cool people and got a lot done...placement tests, etc. Tomorrow I go in from 8-3 and actually make my schedule, register, get books, ids, etc. I'm just so thrilled it's not even funny. I've learned so many things from high school...mostly things I know I did wrong and now I'm going to make sure I never do them again.

Number one. I wish I would have DONE more in high school. I was the antisocial queen. I had friends, sure, but did I ever go to a dinner banquet? Hell no. Did I go to the soccer games, baseball games? Maybe a few. Did I belong to any clubs? Nope. The only reason I played tennis was to slap it on my college apps for gods sake. So in college, even though it's not totally my thing, I'm actually going to make an effort to step up and do something. At least ONE thing.

Number two. Make friends in your own CLASS. Biiig mistake I made all through high school. I had great awesome friends younger and older than me, but I absolutely despised most of the kids in my own class...which I guess technically isn't my fault, but again, effort comes in. You get what you put in...that's really true...anyways, I realized on graduation day as I looked around me that there were really only two or three people I could call *friends* in my own class. When I'm graduating college I don't want to look around at unfamiliar faces and could-have-been friendships. I want to know the people I started college with, and ending it with.

Uhmm... yeah. That's it. I got three new books today...I'm almost finished with White Oleander...I strongly recommend it, Janet Fitch's words are poetry, in novel form. Next on the list is Donnie Brasco...One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest...Harry Potter 2.. mmm.

Grant's got a good chance at this new job, something he is thrilled about. Which makes me thrilled. When he's happy, I'm happy and vice versa. We're fine right now. <3 <3 <3

I need to go to bed, I MUST wake up at 5:50 am tomorrow, shower, and drive to River Forest. Last day of orientation, hooorayyyy.

1. What do you think about a documentary showing an abortion? I've seen one, and speaking as a very iron-stomached person, it made me literally queasy. Never wish to see it again. And makes me even more against abortion, if that's possible.

2. Are there people in your life who you feel you should forgive, but honestly have no desire to? No.. I think I have forgiven everyone.

3. Have you ever not shook hands with someone as they offered the gesture? Nope

4. Is intolerance of intolerance intolerance? It sure is

5. Would you state you were guilty of a crime you didn't commit to free a loved one? No, I believe in justice. It may be selfish, but then again, truth is not selfish.

6. Have you ever opened someone else's mail? You bet

7. If someone does not notice that they are being insulted by another, do you let them know? No why make them feel bad?

8. If a woman hits a man, does that man have the right to hit her back? No he doesn't. Because she'll never hit him as hard as he could hit her.

9. Do you believe it is right to call the police if you know your neighbor is doing lots of drugs? It depends...how is it affecting their life, your life, etc.?

10. Is it possible to truly respect another's beliefs if you don't agree with them? Yes

11. Is it okay to make fun of 'ugly people'? Uh..wtf.

12. Should there be an international ban against time travel? First time travel must be possible.

13. What would you do if one of your friends told you they were transgendered? Be confused?

14. Can there be morality without a belief in the divine? Maybe.

15. Do you think that a girl aged 16 is too young for breast enlargement surgery? Yep your boobs grow til you're like 22!

16. Do you think you'd be able to watch a public execution on live television? I wouldn't want to

17. Should polygamy be allowed if it isn't where you live? No! sickening.

18. If you believe in any type of God or Higher Power, why does he/she/it allow suffering? If there was no suffering, there would be no *GOOD*

19. What is your belief/view on euthanasia? No comment

20. Do you think it is ok for parents to search a child's bedroom without their permission? If the child's like...under 14, then yeah.

21. Describe the last shoe you wore: black/white adidas sandals

22. Where do you live? Why do you live there? Illinois. Born and raised.

23. Describe your hair. What reason did you choose your current hairstyle? Long, auburn brown. Uhm. I dyed it because I like it dark. It's long because I like long hair.

24. What is your opinion on body
modifications(tattoos/piercings/branding/amputation/implants/ect.)? tattoos & piercings = great in moderation. branding-amp-implants/surgery...no.

25. What are your spiritual beliefs? Catholic.

26. Do you have any interesting scars? nope

27. Tell me about your most interesting aunt or uncle: my aunt. she's mental, hilarious, and scatterbrained.

28. Are you a sexist and/or racist? Why/why not? No...because...it's wrong?

29. Are you a feminist? Why/why not? No. I hate that crap.

30. Are you homophobic? No

31. What is your favorite fabric for clothing? Cotton.

32. How many grandparents do you have, and do you know them? 3, and yes I know them all

33. What is your favorite kind of insect? Ladybugs are cool.

34. Do you like carbonation in beverages? Not really.

35. Are you for animal rights? To an extent...NOT "equal animal rights" animals are NOT equal to humans mmk?

36. If all drugs were legal and were sold "over the counter" are there any you would use that you wouldn't use illegally? haha. maybe.

37. What, if anything, do you wear on your feet when in your home? nada

38. Tampons or pads?(non menstruating humans: just imagine and pick one) tamponsss

39. What is your favorite form of art? photography, writing, architecture

40. Do you prefer sunny daytime or dark nighttime? dark nite time

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 14:40:33 GMT

Finally, after months of start-and-stopping, I finished On the Road, then picked up the first Harry Potter that Kyle lent me and finished it in three days. I was always disinterested in the whole Harry Potter thing but after seeing half of one of the movies...I forget which one...and realized it wasn't half bad, I decided to read the book...and I can see what all the fuss is about...I guess...it wasn't phenomenal, I mean it's a kids book, but it was good enough to make me want to read another one. Now I've decided to read a bunch of books that were turned into movies...first on the list is White Oleander...then Sleepers...then Donnie Brasco...hopefully I'll finish them all before summer ends.

Today...today...I am unsure if I want to go into work or not. Fridays are sooo slow. There's not really any point. I really want to quit soon I think. Not just because it is boring, because I am starting to have a *problem* with some of the men there if you know what I mean. One new salesman has asked me out every day of the week this week. He's 23 which isn't too old, yet I think it's a bit old to be asking an 18 year old out every single day when he knows I have a boyfriend. He asks me yesterday...so.. you still married?

Hmm...yeah I still have a boyfriend.

Oh, I was hoping you'd broken up so I could take you out.

Nope I've got the same one I had yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'll have the same one tomorrow.

Then when I left he followed me to punch out, followed me to my car, asking me all these questions about when we're going to go out?? Then he asks for my number...I don't think so...I was like eh maybe next week.

It's frickin creepy, I hate getting hit on, let alone getting hit on four times in a row. Anyways...

Grant gets his license back today *in theory*. We're supposed to go running today but he works at 2 and hasn't called me yet...so...

Oh my gosh. I watched True Life's I Live a Double Life on MTV last night...do not watch it...it will make you paranoid as hell.

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 01:56:21 GMT

I wish I were a child...

...where the biggest disappointment was not getting your favorite dessert.

...where the biggest responsibility was feeding your goldfish.

...where the biggest scar was not internal, but a scrape from falling off your bike.

...where people seemed perfect, unable to hurt you, uncapable of breaking your fragile heart.

...where homework, tests, exams, finals, and the social hell of high school was still a long, long way into the future.

...I don't know why I'm so upset all of a sudden. I am so excited to go off to college, but at the same time, I know this is it...this is where I leave and in theory, don't come back. At least permanently. I want to get on and start my own life, but at the same time...I want to be five again.

What's your first name? Kimberly
Middle name? Kay
Nicknames? Kim, Kimmy
Age? 18
Birthday? 1.25
Sign? Aquarius
Where do you live? IL
Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Yes
Have you ever been in love? yes
Who are your crushes? hehe...a couple maybe...
Do u have any piercings? navel, industrial, used to have nose
Tattoo or want one? i want one. eventually.
What color is your hair? auburn brown
What color are your eyes? blue grey
How tall are you? 5'2"
Do you smoke? sometimes
Do you drink? no

Physical Appearance
What do you most like about your body: my height, my tummy, and my back. and my smile.
And least: my thighs.
How many fillings do you have: none
Do you think you're good looking: yeah
Do other people: Apparentley
What do you sound like: very dry, sarcastic, but sweet.

Your Personality

Extrovert or introvert - eh. introvert i guess.
Are you confident - sometimes
Do you like yourself - most of the time
Are you popular - "popular" is such a high school term.
Are you good academically - yes
What do you have a really good knowledge of - meterology, criminal justice, music (to an extent...i'm no expert)
Can you speak another language - Spanish
Are you moody - i'm bipolar what do you think?
Use five words to describe what you feel inside - torn, blissful, mellow, bursting, and alive.
Do people know how you feel - hah. good luck.
What would you change about your personality - i wouldn't be sooo moody.
Are you perceived wrongly - yep usually

Your Friends

Do your friends know you - only a few know what im really like
What do they tend to be like - usually quite opposite of me - loud, outgoing, extroverted party animals.
Are there traits in you that are universally liked -- haha. i doubt it.
Few friends or many acquaintances - both.
Can you count on them - eh. very few of them.
Can they count on you - sure

Sex

Are you good at it - ask my man.
Have you ever been criticized about your performance - no
Does it ever leave you feeling empty - no, but i'm sure it would if i wasn't in love
What does it for you in a sex partner - him being the love of my life is enough for me
Favorite parts of partners body during sex - besides the obvious? back and arms.

Music/TV/Film/Books

Can you play an instrument - piano, guitar, drums
Type of music listened to - alternative, punk, rock, metal, hardcore
Type never listened to - country...rap...industrial...
Books - fahrenheit 451...on the road...hamlet
Films - american beauty. requiem for a dream.

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 01:40:29 GMT

I just bit on, like 5 items on eBay. That site is so addicting. The only time I've ever been screwed over was when I was a beginner ebayer...didn't check the feedback rating and he sent me a broken amp. !#@#@#&*@

Today I just drove around like crazy, being Grant's chauffeur. He had court today in Addison...and lucky for him, he got his license back. Well, he gets it back next week. Then we ate some Thai...mmmm Thai...went to a bakery, pet store, then drove home in flooding rain. Now I gotta go pick my boy up from work in a few hours...oh the things I do for him...

At least I didn't have to work today!! But I have to work tomorrow night and Sunday night :(

I am so tired. I need a power nap.

& JUST THE BASICS

& Name: Kimberly
& Nicknames/Aliases: Kim...Kimmy...
& Age: 18
& Location: IL
& Hair color: Brown.
& Eye color: blue/gray
& Height: 5'2"
& Weight: 112
& Tattoos: no
& Piercings: ears. navel. industrial. just took my nose stud out for GOOD damn thing is sooo gd annoying.

& YOUR LOOKS

& Since I know your hair color, describe your hairstyle to me: getting long. but needs to be longer. longer. longerrrr.
& Is it dyed: no
& Describe your eyes as well {large, small, almond shaped, two different colors, etc}: they're a dumb color, in my opinion. grayish blue, always dilated.
& Any other distinctive/unusual markings on your body: not really.
& Scars: nothin big
& Freckles: no
& Is your weight considered average to your height: I guess?
& If not, do you want to lose weight: maybe a couple pounds
& Do you wear makeup: Most of the time. It's not always needed.
& What brands do you use: make-up? clinique, loreal, hard candy
& What do you wear on a normal basis: clothes
& Do you stay exclusive to one store, or shop at various stores: different
& Do you like Converse shoes: kinda
& What about plaid: no
& Studded belts/jewelry/etc: belts i guess are cool
& Do you enjoy getting dressed up: on special occasions.
& Most expensive item in your closet: prob. one of my prom dresses or something
& How often do you shop: often

& LOVE LIFE {MINUS THE SEX}

& Have a significant other: Yes
& How long have you two been together: 10 months
& Why do you like him/her: Because I have to. jk. he's talented. funny. there for me through great times and shitty times. makes me feel good about myself. faithful. loving.
& What do they look like: 5'10" perfectly built, wonderful green eyes with long eyelashes...umm...brown hair...yeah
& What things do you have in common: honestly, not that much. maybe music/movie taste. certain outlooks on life. opposites attract!
& What things do they do that irk you: he's slow-moving. and sometimes he's a little too prideful for my liking.
& Are they "the one" for you: i have time to figure that one out.
& What romantic things have they done for you: since he knows I like to write, he got me a little black notebook and wrote a love letter on the inside cover and put dried rose petals in between the pages :D and when my cat died he went to build a bear and made me a stuffed kitty <3
& If not taken {like me}, who are you crushing on:-
& How long have you been crushin' on this person:-
& Will/would you ever consider telling him/her about your feelings:-
& If you have told them, what was their reaction:-
& Would you ever consider dating someone of the same sex: -
& Why or why not: -

& THE FAM

& Still living with (a) parent(s) {if you're over 18, that is}: I'm 18, goin to college in the fall
& Have any pets: 2 cats, 1 bird
& Have any siblings {Names & ages}: yes 2 sisters. 1 bro in law
& Get along with them okay: yep
& Get along with your parent(s): usually
& Overall good people with good intentions: sure

& SCHOOL

& Current HS/Uni: outta high school, praise the lord.
& Planning to go to college HS folk, and if so, which one: Dominican Univ.
& Current/future college Major: criminology
& Live in a dorm or outside campus: dorm
& Current G.P.A: graduated high school w/3.0
& School colors: --
& School mascot: --
& Got school spirit: --
& Fave classes: i'm not in school dammit!
& Not so fave classes: --
& Fave teachers: --
& Worst teachers: --
& Into any sports: tennis, dance
& Attend any games: --
& Clubs: --
& Gotten any refferals/demerits and if so, what for: not since middle school
& What about Tardy Hall/detentions: yeah
& Been expelled/suspended, and if so, what for: no.
& Are you popular: --
& Talkative and open or shy and introverted: shy/introverted but open
& Like to gossip: no
& Gotten into any fights: nope
& Witnessed any fights: yeah
& What's your view on school dances: lame
& Went/going to Prom: yeah/yeah

& YOUR VICES & SECRETS

& Take drugs: not really
& Rave/party all night: no
& Smoke: every now and then
& Got drunk: no
& Had sex: yes
& If not, straight edge then: no
& Or just have common sense not to do those things: sure?
& Broken the law: Yea.
& Streaked/flashed: yeah
& Stolen anything: yeah.
& Snuck out: yep
& Skinny-dipped: yep
& Instigated a fight: I've tried
& Egged/TP'd a house: yep
& Anything else I should know about: no.

& BELIEFS OF ALL KINDS

& Believe in God: yes
& Attend church: occasionally
& If not, then are you spiritual: spiritual? sure
& Or are you an athiest, and why: --
& Alien life: sure
& Ghosts: yep
& Miracles: yep
& Wishing on stars: no
& Magic: no
& Love at first sight: yes!

& YOUR VIEWS

& Abortion: against
& George Bush: for..eh. kinda.
& Politics: no don't like them
& Fast food: mmm...great once in a while
& Death penalty: for
& Sex before marriage: know the consequences. emotional and physical.
& Legalizing marijuana: just do it
& Cheap labor: ?
& Feminists: bleh.
& Eating disorders: Suck.
& The media: sucks too
& Gay marriages: against
& Gun control: umm...don't know
& The depletion of the Ozone layer: What do you want me to do, cry?
& Meat: MMM MMM good.
& Censorship: people take some things too far
& Video-game violence: As long as there's a rating to let parents know what kind of stuff is in it, it's the parent's job.

July Fourth

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 23:48:59 GMT

Well, happy 4th of July my fellow patriots! Today is my day for relaxation - and I have been living it up baby. Last night I slept at Liz's so needless to say I got zero sleep last night. I have had the best week and a half - everything went uphill after my and Grant's huge fight. After we (officially) made up, everything got better in my life. Love life, work life, I started hanging out with my best friends again...life does not get any better. Only downside to this summer...I became 100% celibate against alcohol and started smoking. :/ Oh well. I am enjoying life for the first time in a good solid year so I'll deal with my demons later. Never have I felt this content and satisfied and exploding with joy without the aid of medication or something or other. Hope I never come down from this manic episode :/

Tonight I just want to curl up with my sweetheart and watch a movie. And make my own fireworks. ;P

FRIENDLINESS
When you step into an elevator and see a friend you: umm..talk to them
An aquaintence: exchange fake hi how are yous...
A stranger?: "Hello", maybe a smile
How often do you end up listening to people's problems when you really don't care?: more than I like
How far do you let people go before you tell them off?: it takes a lot to push me to my limit
What does a friend have to do to be kicked out of your life?: I can't see kicking any of my friends out of my life...I've chose them carefully
How do you react to phone sales(wo)men?: I never answer the house phone
How often to people just randomly start talking to you?: a lot
Do you try to escape them, talk to be polite, or really enjoy talking with a stranger?: usually talk to be polite...and if they're interesting, I enjoy it.
How do you feel, react, ect, to people when you first meet them?: depends on the overall vibe I get from them
How long does it take you to warm up to people?: depends on the person
Are you usually invited to go on outings with friends/coworkers/schoolmates/whoever?: yeah. occasionally.
After a party how do you usually feel about your night?: I don't really go to parties

NAUGHTY OR NICE
What is your view, in general, on rules?: Necessary...sadly so
Do you ever call in sick to work/school/whatever when you aren't?: Work, never. School, all the damn time.
When out with your SO, a friend comes over and starts hanging all over him/her. How do you react?: I'm sure my man would speak up first...I'd just grab his arm and go somewhere else. I don't like to lash out in a jealous rage :P
Have you ever hooked up with someone you knew was attached? If yes, would you again? no and no
If not, would you ever?: no I don't plan on it.
The last time someone tore into you for doing something wrong (that was something you did do), what was it?: flipping out all the time
How did you react to this person?: umm...hm.
Your boss (or parents or friends or whatever) wants your ass for work this weekend, but you are packed with plans. Do you work, play or compromise?: Compromise, unless I had superimportant plans
What do you consider being mischievous: doing minor things you may get in trouble for, but not hurt anyone by doing
You're borrowing a shirt and stain it. Do you... return and apologize, return and let it go unnoticed, return and blame stain on lender, buy new shirt, etc?: Whatever happened to washing? And if that didn't work, I'd return and apologize
Do you cheer for the good guy or bad guy?: good guy

SEX AND SEXUAL STUFFS
What do you consider to be the kinkiest thing you've done?: no comment
Whats the kinkiest you'll ever do?: i'm not answering any of these...sex life is privately sealed in a locked box thank you.
What do you think about masturbation?: I don't
Do you think masturbation should be a part of your sex life with your lover?: No duh please each other.
When you're about to reach orgasm, what is usually going through your mind?: no comment
Is discussing sex with your partner scary for you, a turn on, just a healthy practice, etc?: healthy practice...?
Do you fake orgasm? Do you do it often?: no comment
How often do you like to have sex?: couple times a week
How often does your partner like to have sex?: who knows i'm sure he'd like it every day
Do you feel comfortable communicating sexual desires?: sure
How is your sex life in general?: great
What do you feel when you think of having sex with your partner?: no comment
How long do you like foreplay to last?: as long as possible
Does your partner fulfill your foreplay requirement?: sure
What was your mind on the last time you had sex?: no comment
How long does sex usually last (foreplay to climax)?: hour, hour and a half
How do you feel about dirty talk?: not my thing really
How often do you make the first move?: half the time

ROMANCE AND LOVE
The person you've been seeing for a month proposes. How do you react?: If I was in love i'd say yesyesyes
Which movie does your romantic life remind you of?: umm...hmm
What article of clothing would you most like to receive from your lover?: undiessss or pajamas
What type of gift in general?: something original or homemade (both of which I have gotten :DDD
Do you believe gifts are an integral part of romance?: Not necessarily
Do you believe expensive dinners are an integral part of romance?: nooo
Are flowers?: yeah maybe...
What did you give your SO for valentine's day?: I had mono, I got him nothing :/
What did your SO get for you?: I think he just got me a bunch of ice cream. I can't really remember, trying to block that part of my life out of my mind.
What is your philosophy on love and falling in love?: You can't control it.
How do you know when you love someone?: I'm still figuring it out
When you still don't love someone but know you could, how do you know its possible?: Say what?
When did you know you loved the person you're with (or last person you were with)?: The first time I ever had a conversation with him...just a feeling.
What was the first thing that attracted you to your most recent partner?: his personality. and talent.
What is the most important aspect of a love relationship?: honesty
How often does your SO compliment you?: every day
How often do you want to be complimented?: Not every minute. I like genuine compliments.
How often do you compliment them?: I try to every day
If you got sick would your SO do all they can to take care of you, or would they run away?: It's happened...and he's been there
Does your SO make enough time for you?: definitely
Does your SO surprise you with gifts?: not really
You guys can't agree on what movie to rent. Do you tend to give in to your SO, compromise, or get your own way?: Compromise or get my own way
What's your opinion on people who do everything for their SO?: they are a fool in love.
If there's something your SO loves to do and you hate, would you do it with them, make a compromise, or say no way?: It depends...
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yesyesyes. i am living proof!
Who's more apt to campaign for a night at home rather than out with friends?: probably me....though we both like our share of going out and staying in.
Who refers to the other in the possessive more often?: huh

WEDDINGS
Have you ever had dreams of yourself walking down the aisle?: Yes
Do you know what kind of engagement ring you want?: yep. a simple circular diamond (cuz hearts can be broken but circles never end...i am sooo corny) on a platinum ring with something engraved on the inside..
Wedding ring?: nope
Do you read bridal magazines?: Nope
When you go shopping do you notice things you'd like to incorporate into your wedding?: ha sometimes
Do you have a set age you want to be married by, or an age that you won't get married until you reach it?: i won't marry before 21. i plan on getting married before i'm out of college though.
Your dream dress will make you look/feel like (ex. a princess, madonna turned bride, casual yet elegant, wearing jeans): princess definitely
What type of bridal party do you want? (small group of those you love, every friend you have, no party): small group
Will you let your groom see you before you go down the aisle?: No!
Your bridal shower will be like: Just a regular ole' bridal shower
If you modelled your wedding after someone else, what would it be like? (movie or celeb wedding): Nick & Jessica...awww...and I liked Carmen Electra's wedding cake..I think it was the one with all the red roses in it...?
Will the reception be classic, a drunken ho down, or something in the middle?: Classic
Who should pay for your wedding?: Ideally, the bride's. Because the husband is supposed to take care of the bride and provide for her the rest of her life, traditionally that's why the bride's parents pay for the wedding. But nothing is really traditional anymore.
You want the guests to look (casual, elegent, how they want): Formal
What do you want the topper on your wedding cake to be?: Diamonds. I can dream.
What is your dream honeymoon spot:? Jamaica

CHILDREN
How many children do you want?: 2 or 3
What do you hope their sex is?: I want at least one girl...
Do you have name ideas?: Summer Skye and Parker Kohl...yes I've thougt about this.
Any preferences on looks?: Not ugly? Haha. WTF kinda question is this?!

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 22:45:55 GMT

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 18:08:29 GMT

Da Vinci Code was the biggest load of crap I've read in years. It was super fantastic til the very last, like, ten chapters. If 75% of the people that made it a bestseller brushed up on their history of Christianity, they'd know it's a total load. The rebuttals against the book were also quite annoying. And to add to my disappointment, Dan Brown is quite possibly the worst author I've had to drag though in awhile. Want some quality writing... read some Jack Kerouac.

Eh. To each your own. The Davinci Code is probably just another ploy to destroy the Catholic church.

Survey boredom

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 16:06:15 GMT

Killin' time. It's SATURDAY which = my day OFF! And it's not even really my day off. I work from 4-8 at Nancys tonight. But I got to sleep in a little, then went to the bank, went for a run, and now I'm waiting for the expected all-day thunderstorming to start.

But first.

Basics
Name:: kim.
Age:: eighteen
Height:: 5'2"
Weight: 112 lbs
Hair Color:: brown.
Eye Color:: blue/gray

Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: yes.
What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: like $25
What is the least you've ever spent?: free
Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: yah kinda maybe? who cares
Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: umm.. maybe.
Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: ya it sounds messed up

Labels:
Do you think labels are dumb?: nope, just in a negative context
Why or why not?: face it, people do and always will stereotype.
What do people label you as?: don't rightly know

Which Is Worse?
Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: emotional. .
Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: being bored is way worse.
Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: ugh. both are horrible.

Love
Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: YES. jesus.
Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?: yes. yesyesyes. though it hurts like none other.
Are you romantic?: kinda
Are you in a relationship now?: yes
If so, for how long?: 9 months
If not, how long have you been single?: na
Are you a virgin?: no
What song describes your love life right now?: I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU WHY DO I LOVE YOU. not so much anymore though.

Ranomosity
War: Good or Bad?: uh. bad?
Who's skankier: Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?: both. but at least britney is halfway decent looking.
What is it with guys and cars?: its something they can love that won't be a pain in the ass.
Do you sing?: not well.
If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: i was an alto in middle school.
Kiss or hug?: both.
What color is your room?: blue
How old is your mom?: old
Black and white or color photos?: black and white
What color is your hair brush?: black and silver
What kind of hair products do you use?: detangler. that's all
Are you sXe?: no
Are you sexy?: yep.
What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: pink. *puke*
What color do you think looks nice on you?: blue and black
Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?: grocery <33
Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: NO.
Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: the man we call phone-sex-operator at work. he has a smoooooth deep throaty voice lol
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: same age.
Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: yep
Who was the last person you hung out with?: grant
What did you and that person do?: went to the drive in
How often do you bathe?: shower.. everyday
Are you a people-pleaser?: nah
Do you dye your hair regularly?: not anymore
What about your eyebrows?: i don't dye my eyebrows.
Do you wear makeup?: eyeliner, lip gloss, blush..yep.
If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?: yeah
Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: unedited. but when's the last time i actually bought a cd?
Can you beatbox?: nope.
Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: who doesn't?!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on "Blossom." (and "How rude!" comes from Stephanie on "Full House")
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer (three words: M.C. Hammer PANTS)
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail Day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH." (Mansion Appartment Shack House)
17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
20. You remember reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing and all the Ramona books.
21. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
22. You wanted to be a Goonie. Truffle Shuffle! Boodie Trap!...
23. You even wore flourescent clothing.
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
26. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals.
34. After you saw "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You even got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "awesome."
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.
45. "Miss Mary MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK, with silver BUTTONS, BUTTONS, BUTTONS all down her BACK, BACK, BACK!"
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching "Rainbow Brite" and "My Little Ponies."
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell."
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi.
55. You played and or collected "Pogs."
56. You used to pretend that you could transform into a Power Ranger.

I AM A CHILD OF THE 90s!!!!!!!!!

1. Confirm your identity: kim
2. How many years have you been on the planet? 18
3. What are three phrases you use at least daily? eh. dunno.
4. Are you a survey addict? yah
5. Do you have an online journal that you use regularly? kinda
6. Are you one of those people that are constantly applying lotion and/or chapstick? yes i am
7. Name any mental disorders you have been diagnosed with: bipolar
8. Ever freeze anyone's underwear? no
9. Name one thing you only do/act like/wear/etc.? what the hell?
10. Would you consider yourself random? i guess so
11. Do you have clothes hanging in your closet that still have the tags on them? yep
12. Do you doodle all over your papers/homework/books? yeah
13. Do you write down phone messages/notes on your hands? nope
14. What do you think of those Kidz Bop commercials? dunno what they are
15. What CDs in your collection are you ashamed to admit you own? faith hill. celine dion. shiat like that.
16. Got any toe socks? yea
17. Do you find that you rub off on your friends more, or vice versa? hmm..im not sure. i don't hang out with them enough to tell.
18. What time is it? 12:50 pm
19. Does anybody really know what time it is? not literally
20. Does anybody really care? some do, most don't
21. Who sings that song, anyway? yeah
22. Do you untie your shoelaces before taking them off? nope
23. Ever have random hallucinations? nope
24. Ever take your pet for a walk? no
25. Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry? yes
26. How much do you sleep? not much
27. Do you think staying at home and raising the kids is primarily "women's work"? It's "traditional" not "women's work."
28. What do you think about gay marriage? against it
29. Do blondes annoy you in general? yes they do.
30. Ever done illegal drugs? yeah
31. Do you smoke? occasionally
32. Have sex? yeah
33. Yell at your parents? not so much anymore
34. Compete with your siblings? no
35. Think you got enough love as a child? yes
36. Listen to pop music? no
37. Out of your own, what's your favorite lotion/body wash/cream/perfume/cologne/etc. ? oh man. love spell, body, and pretty in pink by victorias secret. sexy and metro by bcbgirls. spirit awakened by aura science. cool by ralph lauren.
38. Why do fools fall in love? you aren't a fool TIL you fall in love. because then you start shaping your life around your love, bending over backwards, smiling like an idiot all the time...it turns you into a fool.
39. Why is the sky blue? god made it that way
40. Did you know that your metabolism slows down at night; so if you have a midnight snack
you will probably gain weight in the morning? duh
41. Are you going to have an open casket funeral? if i'm maimed by a lawnmower, probably not
42. Do you bruise easily? i don't think so
43. Does death fascinate you? eh
44. Ever dated someone five years older (or more) than you? no
45. Ever dated someone five years younger (or more) than you? no
46. What's with all the black rappers right now having such terrible teeth? haha
47. What was the whole "rosebud" thing all about? what
48. How many people do you think would come to your funeral? very very many, probably to make sure i'm really dead
49. Are you wondering why I'm still on the death thing? no
50. Who said this: "Death, taxes, and childbirth. There's never a convenient time for any of them.": don't know
51. Have you ever contributed to someone's death? no
52. What Hollywood celebrity annoys you the most? paris hilton. she's not really a hollywood celebrity though. i'm also not a fan of angelina jolie.
53. What do you think about school? good social place...education's good too. you can never stop learning.
54. Are you addicted to the internet? no
55. Do you have those little white vitamin deficiency marks on your fingernails? they're called calcium deposits. and no
56. Dog person or cat person? cat
57. What do you take when you have a headache? nothing
58. What's your alcoholic drink of choice? smirnoff
59. Is "settling down" a major priority for you (meaning; married, good job, spending your extra money on new curtains and mowing the lawn on weekends)? uh..spending the money on curtains, no, but settling down is something i look forward to.
60. Do you have a calendar/datebook? not anymore
61. Was "Beaches" as good a movie as everyone says it is? not really
62. Physically, are you usually cold or warm? warm
63. Socially, are you usually cold or warm? depends on my mood
64. Ever been so depressed that you don't shower, do the dishes, clean up anything, answer your
phone or move from your couch for more than a couple days? yeah, minus the non-showering
65. When you hear the scientific term "the big bang", do dirty thoughts come to mind? no. i wasn't thinking dirty thoughts during bio class
66. Do you ever walk by someone and they go, "how are you?" and you go, how are you?"....and
you keep on walkin'? what
67. Wouldn't you rather we all just avoid eye contact and not say anything at all? nah
68. Ever do volunteer work? yeah
69. Do you think community service should really be given as a punishment for criminals? sure
70. Do you shoplift? used to
71. Ever worked so hard that you cried? no?
72. What if God was one of us? trying to make his way home
73. Who sings that song? joan osborn
74. Are you old enough to remember the commercial with little old lady saying "where's the
beef?" i think so
75. Finish this sentence: "My kingdom for a/an ________.": scratch for a/an and say 'come, thy will be done...'
76. Do you remember the Care Bear craze? yep
77. How about when Oprah was fat? haha yep
78. Remember Pogs? yeah
79. Remember when that gymnast sprained her ankle in the summer Olympics, 1996? yep I would know because I was a gymnast then
80. Remember what you were doing yesterday at this time? I was out to lunch with a hot guy ;P haha
81. Do you love shoes? sure
82. What shampoo do you use? bain de terre and biosilk
83. How do you feel right now? sleepy
84. Do you let dogs lick your face? no, never
85. Do you subscribe to Playgirl or Playboy? no
86. What are you doing right now besides filling out this survey? nada
87. What year were you born? 1986
88. Do you rule that year? hellll yes cuz I was born in the beginning of it baby
89. Do you paint your nails? not really
90. What's your hair length? long
91. When did you get a cut/trim last? february/march..time for another one
92. Do you have hoity-toity relatives, or trailer trash relatives? hoity toity, without a doubt. on my dad's side anyways. more trailer-like on my mom's side.
93. Would you consider yourself to have an innovative mind? sure
94. Has an old man/woman ever flirted with you? how old are we speaking? yah..like 45
95. Ever written a survey like this? no
96. Would you ever consider dating someone who'd been in prison? sure
97. Are you worth crying over? yah and i guarentee i'll make you cry, probably out of frustration
98. Do you know anyone who's drowned? not personally
99. Would you rather have a one-on-one conversation or go to a party? one on one. i hate parties.
100. Do you feel better after purging all this random information from your system? you know what. I KINDA DO!

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 06:15:32 GMT

HE took me to lunch today.

I feel like a freshman with a crush on a senior. And I have a frickin boyfriend. Although things with the boy have been rocky lately, I still love him. Which is why I hate to find myself attracted to someone else. He asked me to lunch for about the fifth time today, proceeded to massage my shoulders, and finally we went out. I almost feel sorry for the guy. He's 28, an ex-Marine of nine years (that explains the statue-esque bod and heart wrenching friendliness) and he's also hopped up on two antidepressants and works 79 hours a week. He was telling me how he never even wants to go out anymore - he has a hard enough time finding time to sleep and eat because he works all the damn time. We had a nice discussion on medication, though. Then we finished lunch early and drove around the rich neighborhoods, looking at huge houses and trying to sneak into the ritzy neighborhoods guarded with security guards. It was a fun - but awkward - time. He didn't mention his girlfriend once, but I'm pretty sure she still exists. And I'm pretty sure my boyfriend still exists too.

There's just something about him that clicks in me...maybe it's the connection I have with him concerning depression/medication that I don't have with my own boyfriend...who knows.

Then I went to the drive in tonight. With my real man. Even though we had a fued before we left, as soon as he held me in his arms I knew that's where I am and that's where I want to stay. To hell with that hot ex-Marine...right..

Love who you're with, and be with who you love. It is as simple as that.

are you loopy?: kinda

are you weird?: yeah, we all are

are you a mama's boy/daddy's girl?: daddy's girl

are there any interesting things your name spells with the letters rearranged?: not really.

are you currently reading any books?: yep

if so, please name: on the road, by jack kerouac

the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to was: Alaska

the year of your life you would never live over was: freshman year

you are most paranoid about: things I can't control

the type of car you wish you had is: subaru impreza wrx or a silver '96 manual mitsubishi eclipse

countries you have been to are: canada and mexico..

other languages you know phrases in are: espanol

other languages you would love to learn are: italian and latin

write a line from any song: well i hope i'm not mistaken from the news I heard from wakin

tell us about any of your birthdays: I had mono for my 18th! rock on

your thoughts when first waking up are: "time to run"

spell your first name backwards: mik

does your dentist ask you questions with his/her fingers in your mouth?: haha, yeah

is there a porn store in your town?: umm.. I don't think so? I wouldn't know.

if a friend of yours got a job as a stripper would you lose respect for him/her?: no

would you lose more respect for this person if they were female or male?: i wouldn't lose respect...just not totally support the decision.

were/are your parents or guardians strict?: nope

what were your parents like before you were born?: I don' know

are your parents still together?: yes

was there anything unusual about your birth?: I was premature

did you have siblings at that time?: 2

what did you learn about yourself in high school?: I'm too uptight. I am idealistic in relationships. I never want to believe the bad. I am worth it. I learned so frickin much.

how old were you when you began to drive?: 15

who was your first love?: I thought it was Trevor. Now I've learned it's Grant.

who was the first person you wanted to marry?: Joe

would you call your hometown a big city or a small town?: small suburb

did/do you cheat on homework in high school?: oh yeah

what was your first job?: pizza place

how much was your first paycheck and what did you do with it?: I don't remember. Probably saved some, cashed some

what did you think about marriage and kids when you graduated from high school?: I just graduated. And I plan on marrying in the not so distant future. Probably 3 years or so.

which one of your parents are you most like?: dad

how have you surprised yourself?: doing things I said I never would. it's a bittersweet, growing experience.

what have you done that you never thought you would do?: oooh what a coincidence. umm... smoked, had sex...well I knew I'd have it eventually, just not before marriage.. stolen, gone on diets, etc.. basically anything bad lol

who do you wish you could see again?: Too many people. Bryan.

how old were you when you started to accept your own values?: 16

in retrospect, who was the biggest influence on your life?: random strangers. and my parents.

what is great about your life right now?: i'm in love. i have two fun jobs with fun people. i'm going into college. and oh yeah. I'M IN LOVE!

what could be better about your life?: umm.. NO mental problems. That would be nice. But we all have our battles :/

what things are you doing to make your life better right now?: Controlling my emotions, being more aware of people's feelings, and gettin ready to actually do WELL in college

what is your family like now?: just grand. actually I can't wait to move out.

what do you think the future holds for you?: something good I hope

do your friends know you?: very few

what do they tend to be like?: I've always been the kinda quiet cool mellow person so unnaturally?i became friends with loud, outgoing party people. All my friends are like that, except one, who is a lot like me and the best person I know ;P

can you count on them?: most of them

can they count on you?: yes

are you psycho?: nah

do you have split personalities?: nope

are you schizophrenic?: no

are you bipolar? yep

are you obsessive?: yeah

are you compulsive?: yep

are you Obsessive/Compulsive?: i hope not

do you panic?: rarely

do you suffer from anxiety?: not really

are you depressed?: now and then

are you suicidal?: no

what do you think about love at first sight?: its possible

...abortion?: never

...teenage (tobacco) smoking?: no comment. i am mixed on this.

did you vote in the last presidential election?: no I wasn't of age

in your opinion, what is the ideal form of government?: Anarchy. It's a completely brilliant idea, really. To think of a society where everyone got along to the point we could all work together and support each other and respect each other without the aid of a higher human authority. But it's completely illogical and impossible to achieve.

death penalty - for or against it?: against

do you belong to any political organisations?: nope

have you ever been to a protest, political or not?: no

gay marriage - for it or aginst it?: against

o.j. simpson - innocent or guilty?: guilty

should marijuana be legal?: yes

are you religious?: not really.

do you pray?: yes

do you have a special diet for religious or spiritual reasons?: no

do you believe in ghosts?: yes

tarot cards?: no

have you ever had a prophetic dream?: yup

do you believe in spirits such as angels and faries?: angels yes

have you ever had a premonition?: nope

are you superstitious?: no

can you juggle?: hah no

What do I hate today? It may be you!

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 04:52:55 GMT

I officially hate " the scene. " Scene kids. Ugh. What the hell kind of label is that.

I also can't stand those "interestingly complicated and totally complex" people. I used to be one, so I can dis on this all I want. Kids, being complicated is no longer cool. Being a drama queen, depressed maniac, or drug addicted jaded-tortured-soul is just not funny...it gets one nowhere. That said, let's all take the emo out of life and live it, instead of sobbing over the heartache.

Where is all this coming from you ask? Hell if I know! I'm in a completely manic mood right now, have been for the past few days. I no longer take my meds...I threw them away. I don't believe in medication, I really don't, especially THAT kind of meds. I can control myself and my emotions..."coping skills" for those of you who know psych-speak. I have also felt "safe" for a number of weeks. Haha.

I worked for nine hours today, that explains the crazy rambling. Jeremy asked me to lunch again. Actually he asked me the other day, but the other chick I work with is infatuated with him and stole him from right under me. Today I yelled at him for ditching me and he proceeded to tell me how I should have gone and he did not want to take her out. The guy is a 29 year old semi hottie who lives with his girlfriend and he hits on me numerous times a day, touches me and asks me to lunch. I can't help but love it a little.

As for my guy...things are at a standstill. I'm waiting.

Have You Ever...

1. Thrown up in public?: public kindergarten, yep
2. Made someone else throw up?: hope not, maybe I have that effect on people
3. Held hands with someone?: all the time
4. Hugged someone outside your family?: uh huh
5. kissed someone outside you family? yeah
6. Had a make out session with the opposite gender?: yeah
7. Had a make out session with the same gender?: nooo thanks
8. Done a flip off a diving board?: yeah
9. Punched someone?: yep
10. Been punched by someone?: no
11. Lost a friendship over something stupid?: yep
12. Gotten the friendship back afterward?: no
13. Tongue-kissed someone?: tongue kissed...haha
14. Shared a romantic moment with someone?: yeah
15. Cursed at your friends?: not really
16. Cursed at your family?: nope
17. Cursed because you could?: i guess so
18. Done any drugs?: yes
19. Smoked?: yes
20. Drank?: yes
21. Pissed someone off before?: often I'm sure
22. Accidentally?: yeah
23. Purposefully?: probably
24. Had unprotected sex?: define "protected"
25. Had sex?: yeah
26. Spent money for the sake of spending it?: yes
27. Tried to kill yourself before?: half heartedly
28. Made fun of somebody out of boredom?: sadly so
29. Made someone cry?: yes
30. Been made fun of by someone?: i bet
31. Been really depressed before?: yes what the hell do you think my meds are for fool
32. Been to a psychiatrist before?: yeah
33. Had a really freaky dream?: sure
34. Wet the bed?: never
35. Faked being sick to miss school?: i did all the time
36. Actually made yourself sick to miss school?: not really
37. Had a freaky "fan boy" obsession?: uhh..no
38. Been in love with an Anime character?: haha no
39. Collected bottle caps?: well I collect SoBe caps. so yeah!
40. Collected stamps?: no
41. Collected cards?: no
42. Bragged about something to make someone jealous?: probably
43. Stolen?: yes
44. Cheated?: on what?
45. Lied?: yeah
46. Made fun of a religion?: yeah
47. Laughed at a racist joke?: probably
48. Told a racist joke?: no
49. Visited a pornographic web site?: yes, long ago
50. Taken surveys like this out of boredom?: all the times

LIFE ALPHABET
A is for age: eighteen
B is for boyfriend: yeah. i got one of those
C is for career: uhh i work at a car dealer and pizza place for now. i'm an aspiring criminal psychologist
D is for dad's name: brad
E is for essential item to bring to a party: matches
F is for favorite song at the moment: the climb - no doubt
G is for good movie you recently saw: the notebook <333
H is for hometown: geneva
I is for instruments you play: piano, guitar
J is for jewel that you like: diamonds
K is for kids: none yet
L is for living arrangements: with the parentals..moving out in 2 months
M is for mom's name: leeann
N is for the number of people you've slept with: 1
O is for overnight hospital stays: 0
P is for phobia(s): none
Q is for quote you like: don't know
R is for right, what's on your right?: space.
S is for sexual position: how could you just pick one
T is for time you wake up: varies
U is for unique trait(s): look at me and tell me
V is for vegetable you love: carrots and broccoli
W is for worst habit: losing it.
X is for x-rays you've had: teeth...chestal area..ankle
Y is for yummy food you make: cookies
Z is for zodiac sign: aquarius

ABOUT YOU
Your full name: Kimberly Kay S
Age: 18
Height: 5'2"
Natural hair color: light brown
Eye color: blue grey
Number of siblings: 2
Glasses/contacts?: both
Piercings: ears, navel, nose, industrial
Tattoos: none
Braces?: no ... had them when i was younger though

FAVORITE
Color: orange, red
Band(s): saves the day, our lady peace, muse
Animal: tiger
Video game: good old fashioned mario brothers
TV show: Family Guy

DO YOU
Play an instrument?: check what i said before
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: i sure hope not
Like to sing?: eh.
Have a job?: 2 to be exact
Have a cell phone?: yeah
Like to play sports?: oh yeah
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yep
Have a crush on someone?: sure
Live somewhere NOT in the United States?: no
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: no
Exercise daily?: yep

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 20:40:27 GMT

Went to CKY a couple days ago. Wasn't anything great. It was only worth it cuz it was free.

It's been a shitty couple of weeks. Fights with the boyfriend. He's lied to me about dumb things that don't matter and now it makes me wonder. He had legit reasons for doing so, I guess, but nevertheless...lies are lies. He lied about smoking, even when I totally caught him and he lied to me to my face - evidently to prevent disappointing me because it's something I'm so passionate about. I know he's trying to quit and I know its hard but don't fucking lie to me. Don't insult me or you, or make me and yourself look like an idiot. But I think of how easy it was for him to just lie to me in the eye...I even gave him a look and said I didn't believe him. And I didn't. I know when he's lying...at least I thought I did. Then we had a major fight Friday night and nearly broke up. I've been a moody, irritated bitch to him for the past month, snapping at him and flipping out on him randomly. And he's been a liar. Think it's even? Then the day after our big fight he lied to me about sleeping over at Kyle's sister's...what the hell...he does it all the time, and never has and never will be an "issue" yet he told me he went home. What the hell was the point in lying about that one. I guess he didn't want me to know he'd been drinking and didn't want to drive home? I want to know WHY the hell some people think lying to "prevent someone else from getting angry" or "disappointing them" is a better alternative to the truth. Sorry, I'll take the ugly truth any day over a satisfying lie. I have no respect for liars. And no room for them in my life.

Too bad I am crazy about him, I am totally in love with him. I just hate the uneasy feeling I get now. Like I need to question everything he says to me, or wonder if it's how he really feels. He's always been one to avoid getting me mad...and I hate that. He never wants to upset me. But when he does that is when I get more upset. Whatever. It will work itself out I guess...we've done all we can.

I've been running for two weeks straight. My days are all so monotonous though. I get up, run, sometimes with Grant, then I shower and go to work for a few hours. Come home, go shopping, maybe go out with Wendy, and then I'm too exhausted to do anything else so I go to bed. Sleep, wake up, repeat. The weekends are the only time things get spiced up.

Like SUNDAY, 4th of July. Not sure what I'm doing but we will probably end up going to a party. Fine by me

I saw The Notebook the other night...reminds me of my love...:) Girls go drag a guy to see it...guys need to see that...need to see what love is about..

And Friday night I'm seeing Spiderman2 at the drive in...how I miss the drive in...

Time to go..clean my room or something. Or take a nap.

starry starry night

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 01:04:06 GMT

This rain is so calming, soothing. I wish it could just rain like this for the next five hours. I want to go play and dance in it, but the only loved one I want to do that with is at work :(

The past few days have been way unstable. The new girl who started working with me was striking up a convo today about the drugs we're on. In my case, the drugs I should be on. And it got me thinking. I really need to take my medicine. But want the truth? My meds interfere with the pill, and I don't know which to give up. Part of me hates the idea of being doped up on antidepressants and mood stabilizers (they really are happy pills...they make you almost too happy) but part of me knows I need the mental stability. Another part of me worries that I won't be able to just "stop" having sex, since the pill will pretty much be uneffective. I'll deal with this another time.

I ran this morning and this evening. And in between I worked for 4 1/2 hours. I am so exhausted I don't know what to do with myself..I can't go to bed this early.. and I need to talk to my boy after he gets off work...

Shit it already stopped raining.

It's Leigh's birthday! <33

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 17:58:43 GMT

I need to get rid of all the pink in this layout. It makes me nauseous. Speaking of nausea, I felt soo sick last night and this morning. I was in Galena all weekend with Grant's family and all we ate was J-U-N-K. The first day we ate candy on the road trip, then had an 11:30 pm dinner which consisted of cheese fries, a little salad, and half a chicken and cheese sandwich. The next morning we had McGriddles, more candy, and while we were shopping around downtown Galena we went to the Great American Popcorn Shop and consumed an entire bag of Cookies n Cream popcorn in one day. Then on the drive home we stopped at Subway, but it was a Subway in bufu land so I'm sure the products were not so fresh. By the time we got to his house, I was feeling mighty pukey and just wanted to pass out on his bed.

I really dislike his family. Which is not a good thing. I'm fine with his sisters, but his parents really bother me. We had the house to ourselves last night, and we were looking for something when he finds this big envelope and I asked him what it was...he said it was his drug test results from last fall when his parents picked him up from some kid's house and made him take one. He had about 3 or 4 different drugs in his system (2 unknowingly) soo needless to say he failed that test. But his parents went absolutely insane over it. Personally, I think every child/kid/teenager is allowed a few major fuckups. This was his first/second major bust...his first ever having to do with drugs. Anyways, in the envelope was not only his results, but alll this paperwork about drug rehab clinics, hospitals, etc. There was a paper titled "Directory - cell phone" in which his parents went through his cell and wrote down every single person's number, name, and attempted to find everyone's address. There were papers in there that Grant said he wrote over a year ago, that were tucked away hidden in his room in folders, and that he knew his parents went through his drawers and stuff but was shocked they went this far. Yeah, it put a huge damper on the night. I think his parents went way over the line. That's how they ALWAYS act. He isn't even allowed to go to Michigan with me and my PARENTS overnight for my cousin's graduation party. His parents don't trust mine at all, because god forbid, they show me a little bit of freedom. And his parents are super pissed about the trip to Florida also. His parents don't even like him coming over to my house...and his dad pretty much wants us to break up because he thinks when I go off to college that is what will happen anyway.... his parents know nothing of how to help their son, the whole way they run their household is fucked up because they need to do everything " Christian " and by the Bible. His parents aren't even fucking Christian, they're Jewish? I don't get what they're trying to pull. They care about him but something seems messed up here.

Ddghsdkghf his parent make me so mad. It makes me more mad that they're unsupportive of our relationship because evidently two 18 year olds can't really be serious about each other, or anything for that matter. It also angers me how they give him no freedom and no privacy whatsoever.

On a happier note, I found my dad a great Fathers Day present in Galena and I got these 2 mini buddhas...one that stands for joyful, and the other for love. The cabin they own up in some small town right outside Galena is soo cozy and beautiful. I hope in 20 years I can afford a getaway place that nice. Hot tub and everything.

I have to go to my sister's for a barbecue today..food is the last thing I feel like dealing with right now...at least I'll get to take some pics. Oh yah I got a sweet new camera for graduation!! I love it.

<3

A.) Who are you? Kim

B.) Where are you? In the library of my house

C.) What are you? A femmmmale

D.) Tell me something random: I just spent a lot of money.

E.) Describe your hair right now: long, straight, and up with a clip

F.) A song you could listen to all day: Granite Street Knife Fight..junction 18

G.) An awesome computer game: don't really play any

H.) A pill you take regularly: BC, lexapro, trileptal

I.) Cell phone plan: hell if i know...cingular

J.) Something you should be doing: umm..nothing I've done it all today. eat, run, work, shop..yup.

K.) A thought-provoking movie: Donnie Darko

L.) You'd rather be: outside

M.) Describe your tattoos: Don't have any

N.) Three things you don't like about yourself: my moodiness, my eye color, and my too thin hair

O.) Three things you like about yourself: my spirit, my smile, work ethic

P.) How you feel about your parents: i have come to love them and consider them two of the best people I know

Q.) Jeans size: 0-3

R.) Your attitude towards school: It's not for everyone. But you can never go wrong with it

S.) Something that could represent you: yin yang

T.) The soundtrack to your life would include:
1: Sunburn - muse
2: Just a girl - no doubt
3: Why can't i - liz phair
4: The revisionist - the lawrence arms
5: Automatic Flowers - our lady peace
6: stitches - orgy
7: Make it Up - Ben kweller
8: Misunderstood - better than ezra
9: Fall - Something corporate
10: cigarette - Yellowcard

U.) How you cope with depression: Write...talk to a special someone... go for a drive...go running.

V.) Something you would never do: smoke

X.) A mental disorder you have: bipolar

Y.) Someone you truly love: Grant

Z.) Where's Z?

[name:] kimberly
[Star sign:] aquarius
[sexual orientation:] hetero.
[how long since last serious relationship:] currently in.
[longest relationship:] 1 year and 2 weeks
[ever had a long distance relationship:] nope
[do you have faith in long distance relationships:] i wouldn't do a LDR
[ever been on a blind date:] kinda
[ever dated more than one person at a time:] no.
[ever have "friends with benefits":] nope
[ever cheated:] nope
[ever had your heart broken:] definitely.
[ever been dumped:] yep
[number of people slept with:] 1
[do you kiss on the first date:] yah.
[what attracts you to a person:] good attitude and friendliness (but not overly friendly...)
[physical traits you turn your head for:] hair, eyes, smile, nice arms
[ever been in love:] yep
[say I love you even though you didn't mean it:] yeah :/
[average age you get involved with:] my own
[have relationships changed you:] yes
[have your relationships been worthwhile:] I think so.
[where do you normally meet people for dating or relationships:] school/through friends
[would you ever get married:] i plan to.
[key to a successful relationship:] communication and trust

DESCRIBE YOUR:
Wallet? bright blue leather fossil wallet
Hairbrush? silver and black
Toothbrush? ummm i don't know
Jewelry worn daily? 3 rings, earrings, body jewelry stuff..
Pillow cover? umm... floraly stuff
Coffee cup? I don't drink coffee.
Sunglasses? american eagle
Underwear? currently yellow with cut out flowers
Cologne/Perfume? aura science stuff...BCBG in Sexy...VS stuff...
Tattoos? currently none
Piercings? nose, navel, industrial.
Do you like candles? oh yeah
Do you like incense? yep
Do you like the taste of blood? no
Do you believe in love? yes
Do you believe in soul mates? no
Do you believe in love at first sight? yep
Do you believe in Heaven? yes
Do you believe in God? yeah
Can you eat with chopsticks? yep

HAVE YOU EVER...
Kissed someone: all the time.
Killed someone: nope.
Smoked: yeah
Gotten Drunk: not really
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: definitely.
Left the country:if you count Canada
Had a party with over 30 people: yeah
Taken nude pictures: no
Stolen something: yeah.
Caught something on fire: no.
Wanted to cheat on someone: umm...yeah long ago.
Asked someone out: yep
Dumped someone: yep
Had a dream, then the next day it happens: I'm sure.

ARE YOU..
Interesting: sure, sometimes.
Smart: yes.
Moody: yes
Difficult: yes
Attractive: yes if that's your taste
Bored Easily: no
Controlling: I can be.
Sad: nah
Happy: sometimes
Trusting: sure
Talkative: I can be, but generally no.
Ignored: sometimes
Reliable: yes.
Lonely: not right now.

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 01:55:17 GMT

x. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? brokedown palace. a beautiful mind.

x. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? i wouldn't

x. Do you have a completely irrational fear? nope, nothing irrational

x. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment? crossing my arms.

x. Are you a pyromaniac? nope.

x. Do you have too many love interests? no.

x. Do you know anyone famous? nah

x. Describe your bed. full. blue. yellow. many pillows

x. Spontaneous or plan? plan, most of the time

x. Do you know how to play poker? yeah kinda

x. What do you carry with you at all times? cell

x. What do you miss most about being little? everyone thinking you're cute and perfect and how everything you do is hilarious.

x. Are you happy with your given name? yep

x. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? i wouldn't be able to

x. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? sure

x. Do transient, homeless, or starving people bother you? not really.

x. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? yeah

x. Do you spend more time with your boyfriend or your friends? boyfriend, definitely

x. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't? play music really well.

x. What is your ideal marriage location? in a church courtyard..surrounded by lots of flowers, etc.

x. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? i want to be better at guitar, and drums.

x. Favorite fabric? silk

x. Something you love and hate? lip gloss. :P

x. What kind of bedding do you use? sheets...comforter...

x. Do you tell your friends about your sex life? umm 1 or 2 maybe

x. What's the one language you want to learn? Italian

x. What do you order at a bar? umm...ahem

x. Have you ever pierced your body parts? not myself personally

x. Do you have tattoos? no

x. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted? i doubt i'll ever get surgery

x. Do you drive stick? i can

x. What's one trait you hate in a person? too much pride.

x. What kind of watch(es) do you wear? i don't

x. What do you cook the best? mac and cheese and frozen pizzas! :D

x. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? both in subtle ways

x. If you won the lottery, what would you do? get a car, save the rest for when i get married and have kids.

x. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? nothing really. i'm not too competitive

x. If you don't like a person, how do you show it? in my expressions, my body language, etc.

x. Do you cry in front of friends? yah i cry in front of the mailman. anyone.

x. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? i really don't know. it's probably far from the truth

x. What's one thing you like to do alone? hehe

x. Are you a giver or a taker? giver.

x. When's the last time you cried? couple days ago when i graduated. aw. :'(

x. Favorite communication method? in person

x. How many drinks before you're tipsy? depends what i'm drinking duhhhh if it's beer, 2 or 3, hard alcohol, not much..

x. Favorite kind of porn? ick

x. Do you ever have to beg? haha nope

x. Have you ever done any illegal drugs? yeah

x. Do you think you're cute? sure

x. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? nooo

x. What's the most painful experience you've ever had? letting go.

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 15:50:15 GMT

Florida was wonderful, but made me both love and hate my boyfriend to pieces. And made me realize my best friend is pretty selfish. Overall, it was a fun trip with perfect weather for 8 days, but I learned 8 days is too long of a trip. The first two nights each couple stayed in separate hotel rooms, which worked out ok. But when we all went to stay in the condo together, shit hit the fan. Each couple had a violent fight on that trip. But it really was an ideal trip, we didn't do too much. Shopped, went out to eat, Grant got a tattoo, sat on the beach, had some drinks. Kyle broke and dislocated his thumb on the third to last day, so after that things were kind of blah. Anyway.

I am officially a high school graduate. It was boring as hell but it was nice weather and outdoors. Now I have my whole summer ahead of me.

So far I haven't done much. I got another job and am questioning whether or not to quit my old one. Wendy hooked me up with a job at st. charles toyota from 2-5 pm 5 days a week. How sweet is that? The sad thing is I would make more money working three hours a day, five days a week at the car dealership than I do working like, 3 or 4 times a week for 4-5 hours at Nancys. I get paid shit there. But anyways.. maybe if I work at the dealership all summer I could get a sweet deal on a celica.. hmm..

I hope this summer starts picking up.

Thu, 27 May 2004 01:02:08 GMT

My ex high school fucking irritates me. They make us get up at the butt ass crack of dawn (aka 5 am) to go to their disgusting senior breakfast they prepare for us, and it's frickin 35 minutes late. That is 35 more minutes of sleep I could have savored this morning. Anyways, my table also got ditched by these two bitches I don't like anyway but I was pissed because then a bunch of teachers sat with us. How fun is that? So I ate some shitty pancakes and fruit that looked like it was run over with a tractor and listened to about 15 schpeels from random teachers. Then we took a group grad picture and had rehearsal. Fun. Times. I wish I had smoked up beforehand. It would have made my last day in that school a whole lot more enjoyable.

Gosh I hate high school. I can't wait to go to college. Eight more years of schooling for me, yessss! As long as I am out of WA for life.

I am going to Florida in less than 12 hours and I'm not even packed. Slackerrr.

Everyone enjoy your next week and a half. I'll be bumming on the beach in 90 degree weather with my best friend and my boyfriend. Doesn't get better than that, does it?