And fire's a beautiful sound

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I CAME HERE

2006-07-15T06:10:40Z

Well its been forever since I been here. Well last time I was talking about my future hubby and future daughter as well. Well I'm married and I had my daughter and she is the main person in my life. You know what I realized about children that no matter what you don't have to be perfect to them cause they will always love you no matter what. I mean if people could see this from a child's point they realize that they should treat others the same way they treat there family or parents and life would be so much better. Like I know I would never treat my daughter with disrespect ok I will yell at her for doing wrong, but that doesn't mean I won't help her see the wrong and make it right. But what can I say my marriage is doing good, but not great. I want to make that change and if it don't change then maybe it was not meant for us to be together forever. But to me I didn't want to be one of those many woman who get divorced and remarried a trillion of times. But lifes goes on and now I just should focus on my daughter and I and how I will make my life be just about her and only her. I love my husband, but I can not just sit around focusing and waiting for things to get better. If they are meant to get better I guess I should let it be. Well I'm going to go feel free to comment. Sorry I have lost contact with everyone and the world around me. Being a mommy and pretty much a almost single mother you know how that life goes. Tee<3

YET ANOTHER UPDATE

2005-09-12T22:49:04Z

Hey Everyone!! It is now september 12th and I have a total of 11 days left until I give birth to my baby girl Anastasia Star. My appointments with my doctor are once a week now until my date. I'll probably be in the hospital for about 3-4 days and then home from there. So of course you won't see my pictures of my little girl until then. So pay attention and keep checking back for updates and news of my baby girl who is on her way real soon. You can check for updated pictures and stuff of the sort at my myspace sites.

www.myspace.com/tee_bear
www.myspace.com/ana_bear

my site and my dedicated site to my daughter. I have pictures of my baby shower just gotta scan them a few of them and all. So again keep checking my sites for updated pictures and info. on baby and me. *hugz*
Tee<3

UPDATE TIME!!!

2005-08-31T11:17:10Z

So I had my baby shower August 21st and things went perfectly well for me. I got tons of lovely gifts and lots of people came. In all the day was pretty nice and I even looked really cute that day with my new preggy outfit. Everyone had a good time and made my day oh so special. So we are doing a planned C-section on september 23rd. So now I have exactly 23 days left until Anastasia is here and I'm to psyched about it. To think Estiven and I are gonna be parents in 23 days. Well I must get going its early in the am hours and I must get things put together in my room for lil Ana Bear to have a place to feel comfty in. I also must pack my bag one of these days for the hospital you never know if I might end up going in early. I'm exactly 34 weeks 5 days and I was told the other day in the hospital that I was already 2 centimeters dialiated I forgot about the efaced part. But if I go early don't be to alarmed I'll be just fine just trying to make sure I'm ready for baby. Well I should get going so I can straigten up this room some and make it nice and pretty. :)

Well later all hope you enjoyed my update for august. :)

Tee<3

UPDATE ON ME!!!

2005-08-14T02:07:16Z

I bet your wonder did she have the baby yet nope not yet my lovely friends. I've got exactly 7 weeks and 6 days left before she is here. So soon enough Anastasia is gonna be joining us real soon. My baby shower is August 21st and I'm really happy its almost here cause its been so much planning and putting stuff together to make it all the more well worth it that day. Estiven and I are planning on a marriage next year not to be big due to we want to get certain things settle and we want to be able to make our wedding nothing but a dream I've always had. Cause my dream wedding is something I want to plan out and put money away for so it will be perfect. So we are gonna do the Justice of peace and wait to Ana is a lil older so she can be there with us. So as you can see my relationship with Estiven gets stronger as the days go by and we have our everyday things, but we get by always. We are just happier that the days are going by and that soon enough we will be parents of this special little girl. So again check out the myspace links from the last post soon enough there be actual photos of baby ana and soon enough pics of me and her together as well as her with her daddy. *hugz* have a great weekend guys.
Tee<3

UPDATE TIME

2005-07-31T02:00:55Z

Yes it is its time to update you people on how I'm doing as well as baby and hubby Estiven. We are doing great. I'm now 30 weeks along and in another 9-10 weeks this baby is gonna be here. I'm so psyched and scared all at once. Its the most amazing feeling being a mommy to be. I just wanted to say I have a new myspace profile for the baby since the last one got deleted.

LINK IS FOR BABY: www.myspace.com/ana_bear
MINES IS: www.myspace.com/tee_bear
puggy is: www.myspace.com/preciousthepug

So if u want to see ultrasound pics go to ana_bear page and you will see her up to date shots. The moment she is born there be some pics of that as well which is not until end of september. Well I'll try and keep you all up to date better as I can. Being I haven't really updated about baby and I since like 22 weeks. Well later all!!
Tee<3

MYSPACE

2005-06-05T05:40:40Z

Hey all just wanted to post a few myspace links that are mines. I have one for me, my baby and my puggy. So if you would like you could go and check them out.
MINES IS:
www.myspace.com/tee_bear

MY BABIES IS:
www.myspace.com/no_turning_back

PUGGY'S IS: (yes I have one for my dog and yes you may laugh if you want)
www.myspace.com/preciousthepug

Well just figured I give you those links so you can check them out and if you have myspace then add me. *hugz*

Tee<3

nite nite all my fave people :)

UPDATE TIME

2005-06-04T15:27:07Z

Its another time for another update. Well I'm 22 weeks pregnant and soon before you know it my baby is gonna be here. We got a lot things for baby so were very ready for her. We been shopping around for stuff at garage sales and we got some nice things and they look brand new of course we clean everything so it truly is new for baby Ana. Well my hunny is at work right now and I'm bored out of my mind. I gotta do the daily chores today to make this place sparkle. So just wanted to keep you up to date on me and baby. We are doing just well and if you would like to see ultrasound pictures I have a few on a myspace profile. You can view those at www.myspace.com/no_turning_back

Tee<3

UPDATE TIME!!!!

2005-05-30T19:55:03Z

Hey all!!! Miss me at all?? I'm sure you did. Well I'm 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant We are having another sonogram done tuesday and I'm psyched about seeing my little Anastasia again and getting more pictures of how big she is getting already. Well the only thing I am not psyched about is my boobs starting to leak already and I'm only 5 months so now I have to wear nursing pads to keep my first from being all stained up and also don't want to be embrace when I end up having a leakage lol. Well My hubby and I are doing just great and we are so happy. Well today is Memorial Day and I'm probably going to the boardwalk later on to hang with my hubby and my best girl if she wants to go that is. Well until again Later taters<3

Tee<3 <3 <3

__only_ashes__ @ 2005-05-15T22:39:00

2005-05-16T02:45:26Z

Hey all its update time and not much new, but I will be sure to keep you inform when something comes up that is new. So my hubby got a new job recently and its an awesome job and hes totally enjoying himself at the job. I'm 19 weeks and 2 days pregnant now and things are going well as suppose to. Things are still the same with my job, but I'll be good. I'm just excited mostly cause soon before I know it time will be flying by and I'll be a mommy soon enough. I can not wait until my lil girl is born I'm so psyched about this. Well I gotta go now!! Talk to you soon enough.

Tee<3

something wonderful

2005-05-13T04:15:41Z

Well today I just felt blah and well at the same time I couldn't help, but feel great about my baby girl on the way. So I just felt like writing a lil bit to make myself feel better. Cause writing is where I usually get it all out and feel better. So I'm on disability, but yet my doctor won't sign the form so they stop giving me money so I'm like fucking doctor why can not just do there job and sign the damn thing. THey signed the first one and now won't sign anymore. So I got to see a new doctor today and he felt the same way couldn't be nice enough to just sign a form for me. So in all everything is going wonderful heard my lil baby's heart beat again today. Things are looking real well for her and I'm happy to hear her heart beating strong and healthy. So I'm here to do a bit of writing and so here goes.

LIFE IS GRAND

A precious life
inside my body
growing strong
A dream come true
a sweet little girl
No matter what
this precious one
will always be love
no matter what
Words can not express
what its like to be
with life forming
under my skin
no matter how down I feel
I always think of my
precious little girl
and smile

by: T. Morosine

UPDATE TIME

2005-05-07T02:41:25Z

Hey all!! It's time for the biggiest of updates today. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and that is 4 1/2 months. We found out the sex and the baby is a GIRL. We are naming her Anastasia Star and thats what we decided to stick with as her name. Stiven and I been in love since day one and are proud to be parents to be. I had this crazy dream last night that my stomach got all stretchy and the baby was pressing her hands out so we could see them. It was so weird, but it was like she was saying hi and that she was doing fine and not to worry. Thats how I take it as a sign since my friend said that earlier. It makes me feel calm and happy knowing Anastasia is doing well. Well let see right now I'm not working due to the pregnancy and my last two miscarriages and I'm just taking it easy. Mommy's day is coming up this coming sunday and I'm really happy about that cause next year I'll be sharing that day with my new daughter. But just knowing she is growing inside me everyday for the next few months makes me truly the happiest mommy ever. To think next comes daddy's day and Stiven gets to be extra happy that day thinking of the coming years as a daddy. Well thats about it and I just wanted to share my news I will keep you up to date on my pregnancy and how baby is doing. IF yo uwant to see sonogram pictures just go to my second myspace profile at www.myspace.com/no_turning_back and you be able to see her at 9 weeks and 17 weeks and 4 days. Well gotta go everyone.

love always,
Tee Bear <3

SOMETHING WORTH CHECKIN OUT

2005-04-24T05:12:57Z

New Jack's Mannequin Tunes

Hey all!!!

2005-04-03T16:59:49Z

It's update time and I'm doing really good. My baby is doing just great and so far no problems.
Now I think its time for a lil poetry......

My best is not enough
My heart is not enough
My love is not enough
Nothing truly is never enough
I try so hard and you get mad
I feel like this is a race
that I can not win
When you get upset or mad
I feel hurt and lost
You have no clue
how your anger hurts me
I will continue to try hard
I will continue to love you
I will continue to give you
my heart
One day hopefully
it will all be enough
to make you happy

Hey all

2005-02-27T03:39:16Z

Time for another update on me. I've been having a few lil problems been to the ER twice in the last week, but the baby is doing just fine so far so good. I thought I was miscarrying again last night, but it came out cervix has an abrasion from when my doc did my pelvic exam I can almost kill him for that scare. Well the bleeding has stopped as of today. So things are going well and hopefully no more bladder infections. I'm gonna worry for the next 7 1/2 months and hope for the best. Please pray for me you all my wonderful friends as always. Well I'm gonna go now if you ever wanna chat and know my aim name im me if not email me at c0mf0rting_lie@hotmail.com

Tee<3

Hey all...

2005-02-22T21:09:18Z

Well its february and its almost over. I'm still with Stiven and things are going great. I've been out of work for a while now due to my injured wrist that happen at work. So I'm home on workers comp. and I've been getting physical therophy and its ok, but painful afterwards more painful then the wrist problem itself. I'm Pregs again for the 3rd time and hoping for the best that I don't miscarry like the last two times. Well gotta go all if you want to know more who ever has my aim name then im me.

buh bye

Tee<3

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!!

2005-01-07T07:15:11Z

Well here I am making my resolution. I would say ok Im gonna try and lose weight and make things the way I want to be, but I don't know yet if Im pregs so sheding a few pounds might not work at this stage lol. Well I don't want to get my hopes up if I find out I'm not pregs I will do whatever makes my heart happy and calm. Cause I need a huge life change for ME. Cause things are just not the way I really truly want them to be. I'm happy with who I have in my life, but I need some Tee Time some time to FOCUS ON ME. You all know how that feels when you just need to get away from it all and just focus on your life and your decisions. So tommorow I'm gonna go to the park and clear my head and just walk a bit and think and maybe write some. Well thats all I'm gonna say cause I know everyone was hoping I wuold make some type of promise to myself and we all know we don't always keep our resolutions so instead of trying so hard to keep something just try and focus on you for this year and the years to come and make things happen instead of wishing they would.

Tee<3

QUIZ TIME!!!

2005-01-07T07:10:56Z

find out what you are here

find out which no doubt album you are here

what rock steady song are you?

what return of saturn song are you?

what tragic kingdom song are you?

which one of no doubt's major opening acts are you?

ENJOY!!!
Tee<3

YAY NEW YEARS FUN!!!

2005-01-02T04:05:44Z

Hey all its me again and I said I be back to tell you about new years eve. So we ended up going to nyc really later then expected so we decided to just go to Stivens Grams house and stay there and celebrate. Lots of fun, food and of course fun dancing. I didn't dance cause I'm you know shy around big crowds. It's also new the dancing to spanish music thing and I wasn't yet comfortable again thats where shy plays a big part. Ever think your Tee Bear could be shy hehe. But in all without so much for dancing I had a good time. I'm still in NYC at his parents house and were having a nice time. We are going to a pug meet up tommorow where we get to meet other pug owners and other cute lil pugs. My friend Beverly is home from Florida and shes meeting up with us. Its gonna be a fun afternoon and then from there we are heading home. Well I'm gonna get going cause I want to spend time with my hubby now so until another time enjoy my entry until the next.

Tee Bear<3

NEW YEARS EVE WOOHOO!!!

2004-12-31T17:16:01Z

Hey all!! It's been forever since I wrote and forever since I've spent much of a long time on the computer. I know you may think I've gone and dissappeared. But my life is moving on a fast track and all so much has happened. My newest of guys that I've been dating for the past few months are now engaged. I was pregs. but miscarried and it's been on my mind and I just needed to get away from things for a while to clear my head. I'm sure you all want to say I'm sorry for your lose, but no words are needed cause I already know you all care and thats why you leave comments. If you want just leave a normal kick ass comment like always. So let me tell you about XMAS EVE it was a fun one. I spent it with my lovely Fiancee' Stiven's family. It was lots of fun great people and great food and of course lots of love in the room. The crazy part was when we left NYC from his family house we headed into a few crazy problems that were funny in the end. When we left to go to nyc we seen a few of the same people on the way back. Of course the train we jumped on to go home ended up having an hour delay on transfer train and we were not happy about that being it was icy cold outside. We ended up going to dunkin dounuts and seeing those same people on the train from earlier and they were very nice people. They payed for our coffee and juice. It was fun just hanging there and then time goes by we go to get on this one train and realize it was not a transfer trian it was just going to get docked. So we all had to get off and walk the tracks it was funny as hell we just laughed all the way back and said damn I hope we didn't miss the original transfer. So finally we get the right train back and we get home 3am and tired as hell I just couldn't wait to get to bed. Finally after finding my keys to my bedroom *someone put them up* we got to bed around 3:30am. Well thats it for our fun bizarre night. Tonight we are heading to NYC for New Years Eve. and spending the rest of the night as his folks house. His moms birthday is on new years day so we are gonna hang with him for a bit. well until I get back I can only say it probably be a fun eventful night.
Tee<3

__only_ashes__ @ 2004-11-10T06:21:00

2004-11-10T11:22:24Z

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	One
Your meeting was by	Choice
They are your	Soulmate
You are their	True love
Your love will	Be the epitome of what true love is

Quiz created with MemeGen!

__only_ashes__ @ 2004-11-05T03:01:00

2004-11-05T08:11:51Z

Hey all!!! It's been a really long time since I wrote and your probably wondering where I been and how I've been doing. Well things were doing well until yesterday for me. Things are going great with me and my bf Stiven we been together for a lil over a month. We had a baby on the way until yesterday when I had my miscarriage. I lost the baby and right now I feel so empty inside and it hurts a lot. This is the second time I've miscarried and it really is taking a big toll on me. I don't know why god gives babies to people who don't deserve them instead he takes them away from people who truly do. So my bf woke me up cause supposely I was hogging the bed, but it wasn't me it was my dog who took the whole side of the bed and now I can not sleep due to the both of them waking me up. I had a really bad dream and of course it had to do with the baby. So now I feel like writing now and so thats what I will do.

Baby where are you???

Baby why you leave us?
What did I do wrong?
Did I not be very careful
I've been waiting for this
all my life and in one day
it all is gone
God why did you taking
my baby from me?
I was nothing, but good
my boyfriend did
not deserve this either
the pain we feel
I'm crying inside and out
Having the life sucked from
me makes me feel alone
and so dead inside
All I wanted was a
healthy baby boy or girl
instead I get a broken heart
and lonely pain

Written: T. Morosine

words for you

2004-10-16T03:21:39Z

Words for you

Sometimes you think
I don't care, but I do
So I figured my best way
to tell you how I feel
is to tell you
in my own words
Sometimes I can be hard
But I don't mean to be
The reason why were together
is cause we belong together
Cause love brings us together
I've never love anyone
the way I love you
When I talk to you
I think of forever
when I say forever
its not just another word
it's how I feel
With you I feel I can be me
That I can be anything I want
and do everything and anything
Cause you make me feel
proud to be me
I feel beautiful and
thats something I've never felt
You make me feel like the world
sometimes I can be mean,
but I don't mean to be
I want to change and I'm trying to
Cause all the love you give me
makes me want to live another day longer
So my words are to you
Are very value words
I love you and thats not just it
I'm in love with you
You are my life and my everything
This is my promise
I write on my heart

Written: T. Morosine

another day in the life of Tee

2004-09-23T05:15:04Z

So here we are again and I haven't wrote in so long. I've been mad depressed lately so I basically just stopped writing. I am totally hurting tonight and the things I realized are so politicially correct. After yesterday Junior totally broke my heart into a million pieces and the new guy who likes me all he can do is be mean to me about it. I mean he expects me to just get up and move on just like that. Yeah how about if the shoe was on the other foot why doesn't someone walk in my shoes. I told him what kind of person I am, but no hes to busy trying to change me thinking its for the better of me. I don't change for no one not even my parents. I only will change what I see fit for myself and only for me. So what it boils down to is I'm no longer in love with Junior, but I do still love him. I'm trying to move on and people just keep pushing me and rushing me. I mean if anyone cared about me they wouldn't want to see me hurt they stand by my side and be there for me. I do have pretty big strong for this new person who likes me, but he to busy looking at my actions to see my heart and how wide open it is for him. I really do care about him and yeah I don't want to hurt him. So I asked for space he acted like I was askin for a year of space all I needed was a few days to feel a lil better and then I would be ok. I mean yeah my heart may still ache every so often, but I be ok cause then I be with him and there be no worries. But he had to push me over the edge so far over the edge that I wanted to just totally tell him off. But I didn't cause I care about him way to much to hurt him like that. I do want to be with him. Im not in love with him, but I do love him. I do want to date him and I was planning to say yes him now on the fone, but for some reason we got disconnected. I don't know what to do right now cause I know he didn't expect a yes to the question he just ask. I'm trying to call him back now as we speak, but hes not answering the fone and this is not feeling to good. Ugh I'm gonna go now later all!!! :(

Tee<3

PS. this is sept. 18 2005. I just wanted to update people on this old entry. The fact is when I met this new guy at first I was afraid to admit it to him or even myself. I was in fact in love with him from the moment I met him. This was that date sept. 23rd 2004 when I met him face to face I fell in love with him at first sight. At the time when I wrote this entry I was scared to admit that. Well almost a year has pass with the both of us. We are very much together in love and with baby on the way. Things are going well for us and I just wanted to update this post cause I read it and was like awww.... Hes never seen this entry I don't think or has he really read any of my journals. I think the only reason I felt crappy that night is cause I knew how I felt afraid to admit it cause of asshole that I was dating just before that made me scared to deal with my heart. I really am glad I said yes to him cause now couldn't be more possible without the answer yes to him. :)

UPDATE TIME

2004-08-22T03:20:13Z

Yes you heard correctly its an update time. I would like to post a poem that I have hanging on my wall in my room. I figured I share it with all my friends that are linked to my journal as well as my new friends who I will be sharing my link with tonight. This poem is what keeps me going no matter what is happening in my life good, bad, wrong, right you get the point. It doesn't have a name I never gave it a name just that I know it was something I just sat down and wrote and the words just came flowing. So here it goes.....

I'm not gonna sit and write
you a book about me and I'm
not gonna say I love this
person or that I like doing
that. I mean your gonna meet
me and judge me right away
without looking inside me.
If your not gonna take the
time out to get to know me
or how I truly am.
So why should I justify myself
to you when you don't have
the time to see me for who I am.

I habit of editing my work so I did a lil fixing when I write I usually don't care about mistakes. Cause life would be boring without a few mistakes made. Well I hope you like my work cause I'm sure you will see more. So enjoy if you don't like it see the X at the top of the screen close it and keep on with your life. Cause this is me and this is how I am. I'm emotional, overly sensative, happy, hyper, loving, caring and so much more.
Tee<3

well....

2004-08-19T23:25:24Z

Two updates ago I was worried about stuff and after last night I'm so not worried as much as I was the past week or so. Well I got to see my baby last night and it was the most amazing night ever. Seeing him again made my light up like you can not believe. I've been tired all day today, but it was worth it after spending an amazing evening with my boyfriend Junior. I would do it all over again in a heart beat. I love him so much and he loves me so much too. This may be a short passage about the evening, but like they always say short, but sweet as hell lol. Well I'm gonna go now later dayz<333

PS for warped tour was on august 8th sorry I didn't write sooner about it.

Tee<3

Junior N Tee 07/25/04 soon to be a month coming this 25th :)