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[21 Nov 2005|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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i know i shouldn't share my personal life, but i'm going to take a shot at it.
Tonight, me and emily kinda had a rough day. I hate seeing her sign off after an argument of insulting each other and kinda being real assholes to each other. I always feel like it's my fault. Like, i start all of these arguments and i'm the one that's always wrong and i never help the situation. I always think she deserves better..you know? someone that she can get along with all the time..with zero arguments. Arguments suck..going to bed at night knowing the argument isn't over it sucks. I hate that feeling. Like i have a giant hole in my stomach eating me away. Bleh.
So, i'm going to go to school tomorrow and act like a trooper and act like nothing is bugging me and try like to hell to fix this. I mean, it's almost thanksgiving and here i am fighting with my love. It's really not a good situation.
I'm accepting advice..tell me what to do.
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| oirfthyfghfghj; |
[20 Nov 2005|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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Today i went shopping with emily and her mom. It started out in steve and barrys where I purchased a winter coat for $10.00. Good Deal.
We went to hot-topic..when I say we I mean me and emily.
Didn't buy anything..didn't have enough money.
We went to Target where I bought a new hoodie. Not Zip Up and it is very comfy.
The Christmas decor looked awesome.
Everyone is getting the lights out..i'm excited.
where is this god damn snow?!
i'm getting farther and farther away from my dad..divorce sucks, but yeah. I don't speak to him much..or see him.
Three day weekend for school..school sucks.
I don't like thanksgiving.
here's the conversations I have with my awesome friend salma from New York.
those bullets: remember that time?
that is rockin: which time
those bullets: when you had that thing in your profile.
those bullets: about the doctor throwing the baby into the wall.
those bullets: and he's like.
those bullets: "dont worry..its dead"
that is rockin: lmao
that is rockin: yes
those bullets: lol.
those bullets: i thought about that today.
those bullets: and i laughed so fucking hard.
that is rockin: hahahahahha
that is rockin: im glad
those bullets: emily thought it was mean.
that is rockin: ryannnnnn
that is rockin: someone said ry ry
that is rockin: to this kid and i thought of you!@
those bullets: and you thought of me.
those bullets: awesome.
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| sucks. |
[18 Nov 2005|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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so, today i went to the dentist. Afterwards i went to the mall where i bought subway,a new belt and a bookbag. Thanks to my grandma.
This week has been very busy. I've been doing things pretty much everyday except monday and thursday. Next week is also very busy, with thanksgiving and all..i'm not looking forward to it.
Something that annoys me. Little kids. Sorry but, i hate when little kids expect everyone to follow their rules and do what they say. Emily should know what i'm talking about. Who put these siblings in control..why and when? I mean, it's getting to the point that i'd like to move onto my own private island. The TV is too loud,the lights are on,your talking to loud or to much. It's turning into a problem.
I've been having arguments with my mom. The same usual ones. Over me talking on the phone sometimes,not doing much here..etc etc..petty problems. I'm learning to ignore her and some of the other adults around me.
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| update time. |
[14 Nov 2005|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
] |
Well, haven't really wrote in here in a long time.
Not alot has been going on. Just going to school and seeing emily.
Thanksgiving is next week. I have three stops on my thanksgiving agenda. First clio with my family..then probably over to my dads in mt.morris. Then over to emilys in montrose. I'm going to be stuffed the day after.
School is the same..Mrs.Katt's class is fairly easy..well, it is easy. We have a project due like..on thanksgiving. We have to bring in something that makes us laugh,giggle or chuckle. Something with humor. I'm going to bring in an Andrew Heller Column that really made me laugh.
Next year i turn eighteen. That means i can take my written test,road test and hopefully get my license. I'm also seeing hawthorne heights,silverstein and aiden. I guess that's something to look forward too. I'm going to go to ann arbor the next weekend for a little road trip. Hopefully emily can go.
I'm still in the search for a job. Something part time. I've always wanted to work a k-mart..or wal*mart. Something about those stores just sucks me in. It's like mcdonalds, the food is just..addicting..Well, i find these stores addicting.
For everyone who doesn't know yet..i am not graduating this year. I know, it sucks..i really want to leave and start on some things..my future perhaps? I blame myself, i was foolish and didn't try passing the classes. But everything is working out..let me explain it.
After this year, i am to come back next year for exactly 3 classes in one semester. I will be leaving in late december or whenever the first semester is over with. Then I guess i am walking with the class of 2007. But, i'll be graduating with emily and a few of my friends. so it all works out.
Sorry for the long entry, i feel like writing right now.
I'm going to get back into filming. I kinda put my video camera away and kept the digital camera out for photography. I'm keeping the digi out and also bringing the video cam back out. I'm going to make a short 15-20 minute christmas film. I'd like to go to frankenmuth and possibly some other places to film some events or just decorations..i'm going to try and have it done by christmas..or a little before.
i think thats it for now..
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| uh oh. |
[10 Nov 2005|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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so, i'm walking through Riverside Market with emily and her mom when she notices these socks. I'm like..no way, who the hell would make these and sell them?! As you can tell, someone really needs a spell checker when they make socks..i don't know if they made them like this on purpose or what..you be the judge..look below..
i think it's supposed to be..STAR*
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| ... |
[08 Nov 2005|06:43pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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hey folks. So, i changed the layout on here. I think i'm going to keep this..but change like the colors and try changing the font.
school is the same. had a math test today, i'm guess i did well since i had like 20 pages of notes that covered the entire chapter.
Thursday we don't have school, which sounds nice to me. I'm going to "Try" and sleep in but my siblings will be here in the morning and they usually wake me up for no reason..but i think they're leaving so it all works out.
totally off topic here but i'm glad to say that i love emily..i know this is really random but i did some thinking and i'm glad to say i love her and i'm 100% sure i want to be with her forever..now..onto other things :)
i had an argument with my mom tonight about driving, i'm getting the feeling that she doesn't want to pay for insurance and i can understand why..it's expensive. I realize that. But, it's like she decides to not be supportive. Like today i mentioned taking my written test and she answered back with "well, dont get your hopes up if you don't pass it" thanks. I'd rather hear "you'll do great" or "i have confidence in you" well maybe not the last one..but something like that. Right?
I went saturday and seen Saw II and i must say, it kicked ass. It was amazing, it was full of suspense..there was tons of blood and had some really good moments. Especially seeing the girl being thrown into the pit of used,dirty and bloody syringes. It was good and i recomend (spelling maybe?) that you see it. I'm glad i went and seen it..even if i had to wait in the line to get inside.
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| wasting time.. |
[05 Nov 2005|11:39am] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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took this from kaylen..
1. Sleep with or without clothes on? uhm..with
2. Prefer black or blue pens? both.
3. Dress up on Halloween? of course.
4. Like to travel? sometimes, i'd like to travel more.
5. Like someone? yes.
6. Do they know? i hope so.
7. Who sleeps with you every night? myself.
8. Think you're attractive? not really.
9. Want to get married? someday yes.
10. To? she knows ;]
11. Are you a good student? well, sometimes.
12. Talking to anyone? if you mean right now..then no.
13. Have you ever cheated? Relationship wise? no not really.
14. Birthplace? flint michigan i think.
15. Christmas or Halloween? tough one..but christmas is def my favorite.
16. Colored or black-and-white photo? depends on what the picture is.
17. Do long distance relationships work? no not really.
18. Do you believe in astrology? i read my horrorscope everyday.
20. Do you believe in love at first sight? sometimes.
21. Do you consider yourself the life of the party? not really.
22. Do you drink? never.
23. Do you make fun of people? yes.
24. Do you think dreams eventually come true? no.
25. Favorite fictional character? uhm..not sure.
26. Go to the movies or rent? both, but i like renting more.
27. Have you ever moved? yes. from mt.morris to montrose.
28. Have you ever stolen anything? yes =x
29. How's the weather right now? kinda chilly..gloomy..
30. Hug or kiss? both.
31. Last person you talked to on the phone? emily.
32. Last time you showered? this morning.
33. Loud or Soft Music? uhm..both.
34. McDonalds or Burger King? if i had to choose..subway, but i like burger king as well.
35. Night or day? morning.
36. Number of Pillows? two.
37. Piano or guitar? guitar.
38. Future job? filming,photography
39. Current job? none =/
40. Current love? emily
41. Current longing? a car,to graduate,my own place.
42. Current disappointment? uhm..none i guess right now.
43. Current annoyance? my mom and her boyfriend.
44. Last thing you ate? this like..mix stuff with chips,cheetos,pretzels..like trail mix or something.
45. Last thing you bought? hm. pink shoe laces,a santa hat,nachos and a frozen pepsi.
46. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? graduating.
47. What are you hearing right now? death cab for cutie.
48. Plans for this weekend? not sure.
49. what did you do today? woke up,showered,got dressed,cleaned up the house.
50. Pick a lyric, any lyric.."I would do anything not to have to say goodbye.
I promised myself that I would never let her go
without saying how I feel
and letting her know". - hidden in plain view
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| :x |
[03 Nov 2005|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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Not much of an Entry Today, not alot has been going on. It's supposed to snow next monday so i'm excited for that. Christmas is next month also and i'm excited for that as well. I'm not sure what i'm getting..i asked for a cell phone and this fender guitar so maybe i'll get those.
I'm changing the layout tomorrow on here i think..something simple so look for that.
I think thats it.
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| hm. |
[25 Oct 2005|05:48pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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so, haven't really wrote anything interesting in a while. Not alot has been going on. Last weekend went alright. Bought some new shoes and a boys night out shirt. I'm still waiting for my scary kids scaring kids shirt. School's going kinda stupid..i'm getting so tired of it. Mostly my third block. It goes by so slow and it's just..crappy.
Tomorrow, i have late entry because i'm not taking the meap test so the school can get money off me. Bastards. So, i think i'm going over emilys in the morning and then heading to school.Then probably over to emilys.
Halloween is in 6 days and i'm sooo fucking excited. I have been in a halloween mood all month and i need to finish my costume. I plan on going trick or treating with emily and lauren. I also plan on staying out late and not going to school on tuesday. I'm going to try and take my candy to emilys and eat candy and watch movies all day. :)
So i think thats about it.
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| survey. |
[23 Oct 2005|12:26pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
] |
i know i should of put this under a cut..but they weren't working for me today..sorry =/
Now, Tell Me A Bit About Yourself
Name? ryan
Age? seventeen
Height? 5'8?
Hair Color? brown
Eye Color? brown
Where Were You Born? michigan
Love And Other Junk
Single? nope.
If So, Do You Have A Crush? on emily.
Whats There Name? emily!
Do They Know You Like Them? i hope so =x
Taken? yep
If So, For How Long? 3 months
Whats There Name? emily
Whats Your Friends Think Of Them? -shrugs-
Whats The First Thing You Notice About Someone You Like? smile
Do You Consider YourSelf A Big Flirt? no
Do You Perfer For Him/Her To Make The First Move..Or You? doesn't matter
Last Person You
Hugged? emily
Kissed? ^
Thought About? emily right now =/
Missed? emily
Wished You With? jeez. emily
Wished You Could Kiss? emily again
Thought About Having Sexual Activity With? eh. no one.
Watched A Movie With? emily
Talked To? emily
IMed Or Got An IM from? emily
Saw? emily =x
Right Now
What's In Your Cd Player? hawthorne heights,silverstein,senses fail
Who Are You Talking To? no one
Eatting Ne Thing? no
If So What? nothing
Drinking? nothing
What Do You Have On? funeral for a friend shirt,jeans,converse,studded belt
What Are You Thinking About? about how stupid parents are and emily and how today sucks.
T.V On? nope
Whats On? nothing?
This Or That
Guyz Or Grls? girls
Benji Or Joel? good charlotte is horrible
Vanilla Or Chocolate? chocolate
Boxers Or Briefs? boxers
White Or Black? black
The Used Or The Killers? the used
Good Charlotte Or My Chemical Romance? my chemical romance
Punk Or Rap? punk
Emo Or Goth? emo
Watching Old Ppl Kiss Or Watching Old Ppl Trying To Act Kewl? uhm..that was retarded.
Coke Or 7-up? coke
Bush Or Edwards? neither
A Dorky Dude With A Good Attuide Or A Kewl Hot Dude With A Bad Attitude? ...wtf
All That I've Got Or Helena? uhm..all that i've got
Blonde Hair Or Black Hair? black
Blue Eyes Or Green Eyes? blue
What Do You Think Of
Bush? idiot
Goths? nothing?
Preps? sucks
God? amazing
Heaven? pretty
Liers? should die
Bi Ppl? no problem
Chapter Books? i like reading
Toe Socks? cute
Guys? ?
Grls? ?
Young Parents? retarded
65 Year Olds Having Babies? stupid
Sex Before Marriage? eh, it happens
Doing It Outside? wouldn't know
Doing It For Money? retarded
Favorites
Color? black,red,blue
Word? heh
Song? too many
Band? senses fail
Book? too many
Brand Of Shoe? converse,vans
Person? ghandi,andrew heller,anti-flag,martin luther king jr
Food? subway
Movie? too many
Number? 20
Letter? K
Show? uhm..alot
Cartoon? tom and jerry
Animal? panda bears
Tree? don't have one?
Flower? none
Scent? none
Thing To Do When Your Bored? write,listen to music
First Word That Comes To Mind
Black dark
Benji waste of talent
Boobah k
Take It Away ?
Hate? stupid
Love? confusing
HeartBroken? feels like it
SoulMates? i hope
Email? neat
Bald Ppl? alright
Blood? red
The Last Of It
What Did You Think Of This Survey? it actually sucked
Am I Kewl Now? no, you never were
Will You Pass This Survey On? no
So Long And Goodnight!!! fuck off
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| pictures. |
[16 Oct 2005|09:30pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
so i took some pictures today..check them out under the cut yo.
( pictures!Collapse )
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| update,. |
[12 Oct 2005|08:03pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
hey everyone, time for an update. Everything besides school has been going pretty good.
yesterday was fun, went to flint with emily and skated this 4 stair. I sized up the handrails going down the 4 stairs and this 3 stair..i'm going to try boardsliding this handrail going down a 4 stair..it looks low and yeah..so i'm going there sunday hopefully and filming it when all the stores are closed.
Friday, i'm staying after with emily to go skate uptown and film some stuff. Mostly some stairsets and lines. Nick might be staying after too to skate so that's pretty neat.
So, i decided to put the whole autumn/halloween movie on hold for right now and work it sometime next year..maybe work on a winter/christmas themed movie and have that done by christmas so i'd have to start filming in early november.
School is getting so stressful. I have a math quiz tomorrow, and a fucking life science test friday..then a math test monday. It's really getting to be way too much. So, this weekend i'm going to just skate and relax and not even think about school.
Next saturday i have saturday school..i'm going to go and get it over with and go skate afterwards i think. Fuck the school, i got it for leaving after 4th block before the homecoming goodies..but who didnt leave?
anyways..thats about it..
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[09 Oct 2005|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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so, i noticed it's time for an update. Actually, this update is going to be one of those entrys where i kinda tell everyone what's bugging me and yeah..so it's going under a cut..don't click unless you like to hear people complain. k thanks.
( blahCollapse )
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| l;fkdgh |
[05 Oct 2005|05:28pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
decided it was time to update. Not much has been taking place. Just hanging out with emily and going to school. Saturday i'm cleaning out my grandmas basement with emily, it shall be fun. Friday, we're leaving early because there's a prep rally for the football team..yeah..big joke. So we're leaving after 4th block. =]
Tomorrow, let's see. Not anything going on..some stupid thing for the homecoming king and queen..i'll probably sleep thru it..
mostly skating more..and skating different spots which seriously kicks ass. New spots and stuff is good for a video. I've been skating Flushing,Flint and a little of clio. So, yeah..just got my video camera back so i'll be filming more..thats it for now.
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| update. |
[02 Oct 2005|09:11am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
] |
so my saturday was pretty amusing and fun. Emily and lauren picked me up and we went to the skateshop so i could get my board. I bought this habitat and it's actually really nice. Also got griptape with it. Then we went to mott with lauren, i saw some amazing skatespots but security was lurking..so i didn't skate. After that we went to the mall. I didn't have much money left so i went to hot topic and bought some patches. From autumn to ashes,the smiths and of course Senses Fail =]
After our adventure to the mall, we went to halloween usa. That store kicks ass. It's like..the mall of halloween. I checked everything out like costumes,masks,props,makeup,wigs..everything. I didn't buy anything but I was tempted. After that we went to these stair sets we knew about. Basically, they go in this line..4 set..3 set then 4 set..with amazing runups. I ollied the 3 first then got the second 4. After that I did a line..ollied the first 4 set..then the 3..then the second 4..it was nice. We got kicked out of course so then i came home and talked to emily online..yeah..that wasn't so good..little argument got started and it upset me =/ but lets not share that.
so anyways. School tomorrow..not looking forward to it. only a few more days untill halloween. get ready.
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| update. |
[01 Oct 2005|10:19am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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time for an update. Not much has been going on lately. Last night was really fun, I think I needed to get out for a little while. I went with emily and lauren. The first place we went to was clio plaza. Goodwill was closed so we walked to the dollar store. I bought some halloween goodies,this little laser thing and a wind chime for my room. Even though emily said it's ugly. It's not. Then we walked back and threw my popper things I bought and went to dairy queen. I got this awesome smoothie..it was good. Emily bought a brownie earthquake. After that we went to burger king, emily and lauren bought some food and i played with my laser toy and got a tootache =/
We went back to emilys house and My mom picked me up..came home and got online for a little while, downloaded some songs and went to bed..i was really tired for some reason.
I called goodwill today, I have a job interview set up for monday..they're supposed to call tomorrow so we can schedule it. Wish me luck.
today is the first day of october. Halloween is around the corner. =]
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| whew. |
[29 Sep 2005|08:25pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
] |
haven't updated in about..two days. here's what's been going on lately.
today is me and emily's three month. feels like it's been forever but i'm having fun. I made her a card last night and yeah. It was home made. Glitter and everything. -feels crafty- let's see..i've been hanging out with her alot lately. Wednesday i went over her house and filmed some more for my little movie. I saved it to her computer so I could edit it and yeah..i don't think it'll be done by halloween..so i'm guessing i'll have it done by maybe..mid november.
Goodwill called me..i wasn't home. I turned in my job application there and I was hoping that's why they we're calling. But I also took back a computer thingy so maybe that's why they're calling.
I'm tired of this week. I need the weekend so I can sleep in and relax. My moms really getting to me..mostly complaining about stupid shit. I'm still mowing grass. I promise you that I will be mowing my grass in fucking december. I tell no lies.
Today, I came home for a little while. Emily and her mom picked me up and went back to her house to hang out and watch SLC punk. good movie. I had a horrible headache and I still have one. Seriously. it sucks. Tomorrows friday..thank goodness.
One thing that i've noticed and I think emily has too and is this horrible habit these kids at our school have. They think, "hey..lets be cool and walk like fucking turtles thru the hallways" i mean..just because you play football or wrestle you think you must show it off..or my favorite is when the cool kids are walking like turtles in front of you..then suddenly stop like..right in front of you..it's so annoying that I wish I had a tank to run them over. seriously.
oh..32 days untill halloween.
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| film love. |
[27 Sep 2005|06:46pm] |
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mood |
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productive |
] |
today went pretty good. school went by slow and i was super tired. Had a math test, took me forever and i still didn't finish it. Went over emilys and we watched some tapes on my video camera and she showed me some of her videos on her computer.
Then we went for a walk on the rail-road tracks. I took my video camera with me. I decided i'm going to work on a mini movie. I'm going try and make it about an hour long. I'm also going to edit it,and try to have it done by Halloween. Wish me luck. It's going to have a theme of course..the theme of this movie will be fall/autumn/halloween. Emily is going to let me use her computer for editing and i'm filming and such..I've never made a movie before so i'm going to try it and see how it turns out. I'm still thinking of a name that would fit with the theme..any ideas leave a comment..i'm going to work extra hard on it. I bought a fresh tape for it today so now i'm ready to film and go to work on it. If i like it..i'll make copies and maybe sell a few..anyways..thats about it.
Hopefully this weekend, i'm going to film alot and try and start editing. Looking for music,transitions and such..
later.
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__oneightseven
creative