the mounds; swollen, heaving, bloody.
they nauseate their owner,
those around her and poison-
corrosive, creating a gaseous layer.
Nightmares. Fallout. Sweat. Tears. Screams.

is nothingness preferable?
to sink into an abyss
no light, no sound, no breath.
Ended. Gone. Dead.

Yet they fight.
Onwards! Onwards and downwards-
Spiralling [without a goal?]
Another day - years perhaps -
of this.
This; worse.

Escape is inpracticable and self pity
though comforting in the way
it is said to engulf one - a blanket on the flames-
it only makes the fire burn quicker, lose control.

Self hatred blossoms as ivy.

Tags: kidneys