really, really strange mood. but very familiar at the same time.

I feel more fragile than I have in months. It's that same hypersensitivty, overawareness and alertness that allowed me to concentrate so hard on homework back in the day, that made me so meticulous and obsessive. I'm wide-awake and spending way too much time in my own brain.

But it's a good feeling. I think. Because this is how I feel when I'm spiritually content, when I have faith in the world and myself and I feel like I can do anything. there's a definite sense of possibility, a sense that I think I've been lacking. Joie de vivre, even. I really think I must have been hibernating - I guess I feel like my old self again?

Which may or may not cause problems.

I'm very confused about where I stand with friends right now. I'm just very confused in general, I think. But now I have the drive to clear up that bullshit, though. No more lethargy. No more apathy. I used to be so good at finding joy in everything, in the simplest things. I'm DEFINITELY ready for that comforting feeling again.

is this intelligible? probably not. to make this entry somewhat worthwhile, let me say this:

I really appreciate your friendship, and I won't forget you anytime soon.