[03 Mar 2009|01:05am] People are always saying you can't just run away from your problems... I'm pretty sure can totally do that. 2 learn.

[03 Mar 2009|04:42am] I don't know what it is, I'm feeling so impervious to variations of bullshit...I can listen to all of the songs. Like, I can see one playing this one and learning this other, I can see these other ones close to me listening to and showing me these ones for me, I can remember all these little moments and it's just the past and pretty and laughable and like SO fuckin' what! It's so weird. The obstacles suddenly seem no big. Trying to tell sincerity from a load is cut and dry. Boundaries are suddenly clear. Mistakes are amusing and sentimental. Defeats are cradled and forgiven. Hard ass shit seems more managable. Saying yes and no seems simpler. Fear seems more concept and less control. Acceptance feels natural and appreciative. Sadness feels more harmonious and less lonely. Guilt is less brutal. Letting go feels more like see you some time. Anger is more rational and better processed. Patience is relaxing. Caring or wanting is healthier and more safe. Saying 'fuck it' is lighter. Stagnance feels temporary instead of stifling. But I still have trouble breaking the deeply ingrained sass habit. Though it might not be perfectly zen, maintaining some defense and honesty might not hurt. I can't imagine what might bring this on. Astrology, maybe. I've been kind of manning up in my recurring nightmares over time more recently...perhaps it's some kind of psychobabble breakthrough. All I know is it kicks ass. learn.

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