It's so funny. Nothing tragic or upsetting even happened (at least not in accordance with time) to bring on this epiphany.
Now I get it!!!! H8! Simply. Everything that ailes can be counter-acted by h8 and destruction. Love and virtue are embarrassing and awkward and painful. It all leads to regret, remorse, grief, bitterness, inadequacy, dishonesty, coldness, loss, unhealthy indulgence, addiction, weakness, foolishness, I could go one for hours. Building leaves room for the heartbreak of destruction- work being undone, work that must be done in the first place. Destroy. It's perfect. Embrace apathy and even hatred- what's better for siphoning the negativity away- and you won't care who unto or of the effects! What better way to desensitize one's self to pain than to cause it mercilously- become immune- even learn to bask in it. The point I'm making is that I would know consider myself more sane if I chose to blow things up, kill mad bitches, and psychologically rape the fuck out of people than to ache and stew and swim and fester and do it all for nothing but more of it. What a joke...'here, buy unto this love and effort anf glory and legacy and romance and glamour and virtue and value and FALLACY'. L-O-fucking-L, it's the most punk'd I've ever seen anyone get- humanity by all that we consider human. On the off chance god does exist, he does have quite a sense of humor, and he's just the facsist I accuse him of being. I h8 everyone and everything and you can all burn in hell. I so wish I could mean it. I must be a bigger sucker than even I realized- and I know how many and exactly what ways I am a complete fool. I could list them, but never concquer. Alas.