Hansel and Gretel

damian, 666
According to pretty much all reviews, the main critical question regarding Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is: It's clearly bad, but is it bad enough to be good?

I'm going to go with yes. It makes no sense whatsoever, race and gender politics are awfully mishandled, it rates somewhere between Supernatural and Dexter in the incest-vibe-o-meter, and everybody is much better at snarking than fighting.

In other words, it's awful, but eminently fanficceable, even while you're watching it, and that's one of the ways in which a movie can be enjoyed.

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Abraham Lincoln: Badass

doc savage
That was pretty much the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Absolutely insane story- and history-wise, but of course that was to be expected.

Movie theaters are missing a huge profit opportunity by not selling "movie toys" for grownups: imagine the sales of dark glasses as people left the first Matrix movie. For this movie, axes would have been a hit.

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doc savage
Marvels plans to release a Guardians of the Galaxy movie on 2014.

Given their recent track record, it's not impossible that they'll do it right.

On the other hand, well, I'm a bit terrified.

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Saw the Astroboy movie during the weekend

doc savage
Or, as I will think of it henceforth, the saner Prometheus. It takes on many of the same issues — the reasons behind creation, and what happens to creatures (and what creatures can *do*) when creators change their minds.

The difference is, Astro can fly circles around the Prometheus crew in terms of his general sanity and gusto for life.

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In any case it sounds more like my thing.

doc savage
Here's my alternate ending for Prometheus.

Here be very clear and specific spoilers.Collapse )

As a matter of fact, the way the dialogue was going I was absolutely sure those were going to be the very next words, or words to the same effect. I felt the *point* of the movie, if there was any, was the progression between one attitude and the other, or at least a movement away from the point of origin.

Also, more spoilers.Collapse )

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Superman vs The Elite

doc savage
There were four movies, or rather four bits of movies, smashed up inside it:
Spoilers for the fourCollapse )

I found the first movie boring, and the second one made me angry, but the third and fourth were fun, and I'd watch the sequel.

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doc savage
Bunraku: In a world without guns... ok, let me start over. It has Woody Harrelson as the bartender explaining the movie with paper puppets (hence bunraku). Also, it's pretty much every "silent stranger comes into town" movie rolled into one, with a few cups of TV Tropes poured on top of it. It blows Bechdel's test in a bad way, but other than that, it's a hell of a fun movie, self-consciously archetypal (even down to nicely stylized sets) but not dead.

Fringe S04E19: I'm torn between Awesome! and What the Fuck? But mostly, I'm in awe of John Noble, who can play the most adorable and lost of men, and the most dangerous son of a bitch, in the same episode. Mad props to him, and may god have pity on the Observers.

Young Justice S01E26: Not bad, but I wasn't overwhelmed by this episode. You know what I want? I want the animated version of Robin's I lie to *Batman*.

I think I need go reread some of Te's Tim fic.

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doc savage
Things confirmed by a recent rewatch of Crisis on Two Earths:


  • Bruce's daily routine involves a lot of being tossed around.

  • James Wood has a very good crazy voice.

  • There's no badass like Diana being a badass.

  • There's no hotness like Diana caressing her new invisible plane and calling it her "spoils of war." Which it is, mind you.

  • Luthor-2's disappointed face at being told that he had to wear pants will never not slay me.

  • Owlman's two quotes of win: "The philosophical implications are staggering," and "It doesn't matter."

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