I haven't been following the "New 52" much, particularly on the Metropolis-Gotham axis (I don't care much for the Owls thing, I miss Oracle, and the new Superman doesn't feel right), and the Joker's new look... Nah. Definitely nah.

But, that said, there are one or two ideas in this week's "Death of the Family" (the Big Two's nostalgia compulsion is almost sickening, by the way) issues that feel definitely like good, high-grade Joker stuff. Not the way he talks (he's too preachy, I think), but the calling card thing... and the Arkham thing... Yeah. Those were good, subtle creepy.

I swear, if we got single-issue stories with one moment like that per issue instead of huge sprawling universe-changing multi-month storylines every frakking week, I'd read and love the hell out of it.

As an unrelated aside: if Sue doesn't divorce from Reed with extreme prejudice after what he's pulling in the current FF storyline, my (Watsonian) bet is that he has a few hypercomputers somewhere constantly running his psychohistory equations focused what he needs to do to keep her with him without him having to behave like an adult or anything like that. (Which I'd classify as spousal abuse, mind you.)

That, or Sue's as psychologically and emotionally damaged as he obviously is, and they get off in this eternal cycle of Reed being criminally reckless and her psychically (or telekinetically) beating the shit out of him.

And now I've got a couple of very depressing hopefully AU FF scenarios in my head. I need to learn to stop thinking while I'm ahead.

( Spoilers thereofCollapse )

On the other hand, the idea of REED RICHARDS running a private school for dangerously hyperintelligent kids continues to be terrifying and hilarious. It's like the Charles Xavier School of Telepath Ethics, the Anthony Stark Open Innovation Institute, or Bruce Wayne's Home and Counseling Center for Children Victims of Violence. I don't think I'll ever going to get over the fact that it's canon that Reed's parenting skills worry Galactus.

I can see why pretty much all the major empires in the galaxy consider Earth to be Reed's planet (Reed and Galactus basically have each other on speed dial, not to mention the Negative Zone, his alternates' habits of taking over everything, his Celestials-killing son and post-hypergenius daughter, Johnny Storm-who-once-ruled-the-Negative-Zone-for-a-while, Sue's habit of collecting kingdoms, and so on and so forth), but that could make for some funny moments when Reed Richards has to explain to the United Nations that, due to some cultural differences and most civilizations' assumptions about people with ultimate nullifers and pocket universes in their home offices, the galaxy is under the impression that he owns Earth (not that they think he's doing a very good job of keeping it organized, what with hyperpowered megalomaniacs, the Phoenix, the way the Infinity Gauntlet keeps being unlost, and so on, but what can you expect of scientists).

I just want be there when Doom hears that, as far as most of the universe is concerned, he's "that guy who keeps pestering Reed Richards, I think?"

I'm kind of disappointed with Hickman's FF #8. I mean, it's not bad, but you'd think that a Doom-led collection of hypersmart villains would be more... creative in their approach (although Doom's rather amusing physicality was probably deliberate).

That said, and I have to ask you to excuse my descent into shallowness, Sue Storm getting pissed off hits all kind of hotness spots. I wonder if that might explain part of Reed's general missing-the-point-ness – his hindbrain keeps getting rewarded every time he messes up.

A few ways in which (different versions of) Reed Richards endanger universes (no spoilers for anything recent):

• Becoming evil


• Trying to fix everything


• Trying to fix everything everywhere


• Hands-off parenting

Note that when your daughter has a Richards-level intellect and your son has potentially godlike reality-altering powers, hands-off parenting is arguably the most dangerous item in this list.

From the backup story of World War Hulks: Wolverine vs Captain America #2.

Title: Doomed
Fandom: Marvel AU
Rating: PG13, although a bit on the disturbing side
Author Notes: Just because you come back from space without superpowers, it doesn't mean it hasn't changed you.

( I can feel the air getting hotter. Johnny and his explosives. Johnny and his gasoline. Johnny and everything and anything that burns or can be fucked or both. He's no longer staying on mission, but lost in his world of flames, trying to burn down the city. You couldn't ask for a better diversion.Collapse )

Fantastic Four #551-553: Wherein, yes, Reed Richards will change the world when he gets around to it.

I'll have to remember the name of the writer, Jonathan Hickman. This is pure Reed Richards Fun, and although it will end badly (and I have a couple of ideas about how things will be saved after they are fucked up; and, yes, it will involve the power of True Love) this is exactly what you should expect from this universe... and his personality.

Recced for Insane Super-Scientist Fun.

Recced: Fantastic Four #569. Why? 1% of the reason is the way it shows that you should never mess with the Fantastic Four, who are not only powerful but also crazier than you. Specially Reed Richards. I know I'm repeating myself, but that's one seriously stone-cold insane guy.

The other 99% of the reason is Doom. I still think that the idea of Doom having a "Master" is rank idiocy, but Doom's countermove was epic in its straightforward simplicity and Doom-nesque sense of priorities.

Zeroth Rule of the Marvel Multiverse: DOOM IS MORE BADASS THAN YOU.

Elsewhere, Wade is still entertainingly crazy and fun interacting with Spidey, Daredevil, and Frank Castle (Deadpool Suicide Kings #4), both Batwoman and the Question kick ass (Detective Comics #855), Jeremy Irons isn't as badass as an engineer with a huge nanotechnological factory should be (Superman #690), and apparently everyone in the Ignition City-verse swears like Warren Ellis (Ignition City #4).