Fic: Scene in a Cemetery (PG13, Marvel)

doc savage
Title: Scene in a Cemetery
Fandom: Marvel
Rating: PG13
Author Notes: A bit of a failed fic. I stand by the concept, but the execution is off.

The Merc is sitting on a tombstone, holding a severed head on his hand.

(Zombie Deadpool Head) Let's go.
(Deadpool) No.
(Zombie Deadpool Head) C'mon. There's no-one here for me to eat or for you to kill. There isn't even any babe to hit on (and then eat). Why are we here anyway?
(Deadpool) Do you believe in life after death?
(Zombie Deadpool Head) Is that a trick question? I believe in un-life after death.
(Deadpool) I mean, do you believe that when we die we go somewhere else, somewhere... normal?
(Zombie Deadpool Head) I believe that when you die you rot and pieces fall off your body. Sometimes cavepeople worship you, and sometimes you get stuck with maudlin versions of yourself. So, yes, a very normal afterlife. Can we go somewhere less dead now?
(Deadpool) I've been thinking.
(Zombie Deadpool Head) Crap.
(Deadpool) Hear me out. You know how the X-Men always keep coming back? It's like that for everyone. When you think about it, nobody ever dies. I mean, other than civilians and girlfriends and Uncle Ben.
(Zombie Deadpool Head) And why's that bad? You're having a pretty good run after Wolverine's movie, what with your own movie in the making and everything. As long as they have to keep you alive for the movie, you could go ten rounds with Galactus and survive (can I eat Galactus? please?)
(Deadpool) It's depressing. It makes all so... meaningless. I mean, what's the point of killing anyone then?
(Zombie Deadpool Head) Are you kidding me? Getting paid for it! And when they come back to life getting paid for killing them again! It's the best racket ever.
(Deadpool) Yeah, well. It's a good thing violently killing people for no discernibly significant reason is fun, or I'd be going crazy.
(Zombie Deadpool Head) Yeah, yeah. If I still had a heart, it'd go out to you. Can we go now.
(Deadpool) Just a second.

The tomb the Merc is sitting next to begins to open from inside, long metal claws breaking to the surface. The Merc takes a grenade from his belt and throws it inside the newly opened tomb. A surprised grunt is heard from the hole, followed by an explosion.

(Deadpool) Alright, now let's go.

I just...

doc savage
YES. GO TIM GO! (Red Robin #3)

That is my Timmy. My crazy-smart disturbed crazy Timmy. I know what he found. I know what he figured out.

YES.

God, I love him so much.

Also:

Deadpool #13.

True Summary, redacted so it doesn't offend or spoil anyone: Wade wants to become a *bleep*, so he gets the biggest *bleeps* he can, dresses Bob as a *bleep*, and *bleeps* him with his *bleep* stick a lot. Then on an island Wade finds a *bleep* girl, and gets her to be his *bleep* in exchange for *bleeping* her *bleep*.

(Bleeped out words available on demand.)

Oh, Wade.

Tags:

Last post of the day, I promise

doc savage
Deadpool #9 was almost Deadpool-ish. He's that insane. And that tactically dangerous (too many writers present him as a heavily armed nearly immortal cheerful sociopath, something that he is, but they also forget that he is also very smart). And, yes, that insane.

And from Doctor Doom and The Masters of Evil 03, an intro page that made me snicker. Doom has killed people for far less than what that writer did.

Page image under the cut.Collapse )

Not bad Deadpool

doc savage
Deadpool: Games of Death was perhaps one of the best Deadpool titles of the last couple of months. A few things that probably helped:

  • The violent reality show format is ideally suited for Wade.

  • There was minimum usage of Wade's new and rather underwhelming multiple inner voices.

  • No continuity ties.



Nothing insanely awesome, but I enjoyed it.

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