Fic: Gestalt (PG13, Simon Spector, Prompt #30: Denial) Title: Gestalt Fandom: Simon Spector Prompt: #30, Denial Rating: PG13 Summary: He's too smart to be kept in the dark. Word Count: About two hundred.
It's always the first pattern your turbocharged mind focuses on, because it's the one emerging from your every act and decision, a sharp gestalt of exponentially growing certainty.
It's neither a tautology nor a high-probability ensemble; it could have been different. Even after your parents' deaths -and you can see now the radiating probability lines ricocheting like bullets in a dark alley- you could have done differently. You could have been happy.
Instead, you chose to be strong and smart, and you are. Achievement isn't, has never been, the issue. The issue, the border of the pattern written in the negative space of everything that isn't, is that you live in a huge, beautiful temple, not a home. That the only people you interact with are employees, victims, and scumbags.
That you are, and you have trained yourself to detect these characteristics at first sight in others, dangerous, unfit for society, and probably insane.
It's a despairing, hollow realization, but you don't ignore it. You use it for motivation.
The final involuntary realization of your mind is how happy you are that Christos has survived, but you refocus your mind into the problem at hand before it can probe into the reason why.
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__marcelo) wrote,
crazy
