Love me..that's all I ask of you <3

i edited my other entry because everything is okay. just a misunderstanding. i just got worried and took everything tyler said wrong. but it doesnt matter because i talked to wes and everything is just peachy :)

nightly phone call turned into scotty telling me a 20 minute story about a moose and his father going fishing for father's day in a canoe with holes in it and they fell through the holes and the son moose couldnt swim? i dont know haha. the moral of the story was help other people or you will die..? im still not sure what planet he is from.

no english tomorrow. how excited am i?
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited.

wes won his cross country meet again today being sick. i dont know how he does it. but im so proud of him. congratulations <33333 and tony said i was bad luck..HAAAAAAAAA!

i love hearing at least twice a day.."aww you and wes are so cute" haha it makes my day, it really does.

on sunday i am going to new york city, my favorite city in the universe with my best friend in the universe christina marie insalaco. becca k, nina, and molli (and ivori?? christina told me probably not) will be joining us. its going to be so good. me and christina need some time to catch up on everything. i cant wait

no school monday..hooorayy.

this last part goes out to mike mousseau--
mike if you're reading this by any chance i just want to thank you. i already said thank you but i think everyone should know what a great friend you are. you're always there when i need you and i can ALWAYS count on you when i'm upset to be the first person to ask if i'm okay and then do something to make it better. whether its talking to someone for me or giving me advice (which is always really good and really right) i dont know what i would do without you so thank you so much.

today was so bad =(

double bell chem test..it was okay..it only took me one bell so i had a free one. french skit went all wrong. haha but that was funny..math was boring..english was boring..world civ was boring up until the end. HAHAHAHA. oh god. 8th bell study hall was funny.

field hockey pictures. it was too sunny.

bad news after that. i really hope its not true. i tried so hard not to cry. and i'm still fighting it..im just hoping its not true. amandas gonna talk to him and let me know what he says. all i can do is keep my fingers crossed. please dont do this :'(

^forget that part..everything is fine now..<3 i adore him

im freezing. and sad.
im going to listen to music.

comments would be appreciated

i decided to start this up again because i felt like it. because i cant remember one day from another anymore so maybe if i have this i'll remember whats going on.

i hate school..i love the people but the classes and the work is terrible. i never ever do homework or study so i shouldnt be complaining..but tonight i actually studied for my chem test tomorrow. that'll be fun..not.

okay so today..was boring? i dont remember what happened in school today

walked to the student center after school for an unpleasant suprise. but i just kept walking because i didnt feel a thing. i could have said hi but i didnt really feel like it. and i could have asked how he was and how school was but i just didnt care. its not like he was actually going to answer me and say actually julie i dont like school and im not doing too great. because why should he give me a real answer? we're not friends. so instead of pretending that i care about how he is, i decided not to be fake and just keep on walking.

basically my girlfriend (marie..haha), my boyfriend and mike made it okay the minute i walked into the student center. but then again, they make EVERYTHING okay. i dont know what i would do without them.

then i went to the trainer waited in line for about 3 hours, got wrapped etc..and then went to field hockey practice. it was a weird temperature out. i was like freezing but dying.

its perfect temperature for sleeping in my house right now.

i miss sarah ritt so bad. at least once a day i hear something that reminds me of her and i go "HAHA I HAVE TO TELL SARAH" and then i realize shes not there.

8th bell study hall has been turned into a 90's music party. by me and scottawa. thank god for that kid.

real world tonight?! oh yes, oh yes.

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: today, yellow.
Favorite Food: pastaaaa
Favorite Band: at this moment, the juliana theory.
Favorite Song: the juliana theory-the closest thing
Favorite Movie: a walk to remember<3
Favorite Sport: field hockey
Favorite Season: fall
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: anything with peanut butter in it
Favorite Time of Day: 10:00-11:00 PM

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: bored
Current Taste: water
Current Clothes: orange shorts and my lacrosse t-shirt
Current Desktop Picture: my brother at a football game looking like a goof
Current Toenail Color: red
Current Time: 8:22 PM
Current Surroundings: guest room
Current Thoughts: i hate homework.

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: kerri. hands down. the friends that eat with burger king crowns on at age 5, stick together<3
First Kiss: i dont like to talk about that hahahaha
First Screen Name: umm i dont remember
First Pet: a black lab
First Piercing: ears when i was like 6 months
First Crush: no idea
First Music: um spice girls<333333333 hahahah i dont know?
First Car: barbie jeep bitchessss

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: never
Last Drink: during the summer
Last Car Ride: 5:35 PM today
Last Kiss: its been too long
Last Movie Seen: umm..haha
Last Phone Call: wes<3
Last CD Played: taking back sunday in study hall today

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: yes
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Have You Ever Been on TV: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: no

5 THINGS
1 Thing You're Wearing: lacrosse t-shirt
1 Thing You've Done Today: went to school
1 Thing You Can Hear Right Now: music =)
1 Thing You Can't Live Without: friends
1 Thing You Do When You're Bored: listen to music

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. school
2. home
3. in the car
4. field hockey? haha but that was at school. whatever

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. christina
2. ess ritt
3. kerri


2 CHOICES
1. Black or White: both
2. Hot or Cold: cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO
1. get this dumb english essay done

1)Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
a. a shirt
b. a bag for school
c. i dont remember
d. " "


2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink :
a. water
b. juice
c. milk
d. -----

3)Last Time You Cried? today


4)What's In Your CD Player? From First to Last and 2 mixes.


5)What's Under Your Bed? i dont know.


6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 10:09


7)Current Hair? down, straightened.


8)Current Clothes? orange shorts and my lacrosse tshirt.


9)Current Desktop Picture? pink argyle


10)Current Worry? what am i going to wear to school tomorrow. haha


11)Current Hate? waking up early


12)Favorite Places To Be? the beach, a mall preferably not ours.


13)Least Favorite Place? in class at school. i dont mind being there as long as im not in class doing work.


14)If You Could Play An Instrument? guitar


15)Favorite Color(s)? i dont have a favorite


16)How Tall Are You? 5'5"


17)Favorite expression? bummer


18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could See? i dont know


19)Favorite Day(s)? Friday and Saturday


20)Where Would You Like To Go? new york city


21)Where Do you want to live when you get married? new york city


22)Favorite food? i dont have one.


23)Color of most clothes you own: pink..it needs to stop i have wayy too much.


24)Number of pillows you sleep with? 4


25)What do you wear when you go to sleep: a tshirt and shorts


26)What were you doing 12AM last night: falling asleep watching tv


27)How old will you be in 10 yrs: 24 and 362 days old.


28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years: hopefully not living at home haha.


29)Do you have braces? no


30)Are you paranoid? ehhh..sometimes.


31)Do you burn or tan? both


32)what is the brand of your wallet? thats not important


33)Your alarm clock? i dont know?


34)Your hair? dark brown, redish highlights, longish, straight.


35)Computer? packard bell


36)Notebook? um


37)First real memory of something you will always remember? i have no idea


38)First screen name? hahahhaha kerris was good. umm..?i dont remember..juleslv6? maybe. i dontknow.


39)First enemy? im gonna have to say rachel gower haha i hated that girl in 2nd grade


41)last good cry? i dont remember


42)Last library book checked out? yikes..its been a while


43)Last person you yelled at? probably my mom


44)Last beverage drank?: water


45)Last crush? bobby but thats current..before that..mike.


46)Last CD/song played? Bloc Party-So here we are


47)Last thing you ate? ice cream


48)Last annoyance? my mother


49)Last disappointment? i dont know.


50)Last thing you wrote? .


51)Last words spoken? "I'm going to"

i feel like starting this up again. but here are the rules..if you dont like it, dont read it. kthanks.

joeys gone to college. i guess i'm handling it better then i thought i would be. but thats just because he hasnt even been gone a week and it hasnt hit me that i dont know when i'll get to see him again. i dont know. i wish i got to move him into his dorm. but apparently field hockey comes before our family.

i cant believe you're leaving. im trying so hard to be happy for you but i cant help being selfish and wanting you to stay here. especially because all of this is all my fault. if only we were closer last year, if only i had stuck up for you earlier, if only i had realized you needed me, then none of this would be happening. its all my fault. i'm so sorry. it hurts to sit here and know you're leaving and theres NOTHING i can do, because its too late. i dont know what to do or say. im so sorry. i'm gonna miss you more than words can ever explain to you. good luck. have fun. dont forget about me. please. cause i know i'll NEVER forget about you. you'll always be my best friend. you've been there for me alllllll the time. and i wasn't there the one time you needed me. i'm a terrible friend. you deserve better. i'm sorry. so so so so so sorry. i let you down. and i'll never forgive myself for this.

this is why i love neil opet..
So Here We Are 1: forget about the past and fuck it, just worry about wats ahead of yuou, trust me, if you think like that, nothing will ever worry you unless you want it too. its a much easier less stresstic life

<33he made up the word stresstic and tried to be all serious and cheer me up. hahahahaha.

i think i like a boy at school. hes new. and shy. and its cute its too early to tell but theres definately potential. hes cute and makes me smile. dont ask me who it is because i probably wont tell you.

he seems different than most guys. and thats exactly what i need. because if i hear from one more guy "im sorry i hurt you, you're such a nice girl" i'll probably kill someone. im so sick of being the nice one that ALWAYSALWAYSALWAYS gets screwed over.

matt perrone left for college today. and im really upset. he was the only one of my brothers friends that didnt just look at me as joeys little sister. i actually had a name. and even though every 5 minutes at school he'd say "heyyy big party at joeys this weekend we'll sneak you in" it really didnt ever get old. hes the only one that ever talked to me. or recognized that i was alive. today is joeys last day. im trying hard not to think about it but i cant help it. im going to the school soon. to hang out. and then im going to mall? and then i'm going to a show tonight. good luck matt and joey<3 you boys are incredible.

i really love this song. i really love this song a lot. i dont know.

preseason was amusing today. haha i really love my team <3 me and kelsey laughed hysterically for a good half hour about anchorman. i just love everyone on that team..there definately never a dull moment on that team <3 oh boy its gonna be a good season. this year we're gonna win state champs. let me rephrase that. next year we're going to GET THE CREDIT for winning 0=)

mike got me really excited for school..and now i cant wait to go back. minus the whole getting up early and doing work thing. thats not gonna work for me.

lehman play day tomorrow.

obsessed? yeah you wish.
fuck you, asshole.

i thought this was fitting considering summers almost over

1. What did you do this summer that you'd never done before? umm.. 0=)

2. Did anyone close to you give birth? no

3. Did anyone close to you die? no

4. What countries did you visit? none

5. What would you like to have next summer that you lacked this summer? a boyfriend

6. What date(s) from this summer will remain etched upon your memory, and why? warped tour, enough said, field hockey camp because me and milena know how to have a good time haha, the summer school dance, haha because that was just crazy, getting my braces off, because, i got my braces off, playing phone tag with jordan and kat and being retarted for hours, the bazaar with kerri<3 just because, i dont feel like thinking right now.

7. What was your biggest achievement of this summer? i stood up for myself and got over people that dont care.

8. What was your biggest failure? letting people take advantage of me, and lie to me.

9. Did you suffer any illness or injury? yes, i got sick a couple times.

10. What was the best thing you bought? oh man, so many.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration? im gonna have to go with ivori on this one. because when i'm with her, its a god damn party. and kerri because her behavior always merits celebration hahaha any hour any day papi. oh god.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? you dont want me to answer this

13. Where did most of your money go? clothes, shoes, & CDs

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about? it being summer? and i was excited about field hockey starting and im also semi-excited for school to start. but thats only when i'm in an optimistic mood.

15. What songs will always remind you of this summer? oh boy..r.kelly-ignition remix haha, um, spitalfield-i loved the way she said L.A., unwritten law-elva, anything by motion city soundtrack & hawthorne heights, and right now, i cant remember the name of it or who sings it but the one that goes...fuck what i said it dont mean shit now. 0=)

16. Compared to this time last summer, are you:
i. happier or sadder? im not sure.
ii. thinner or fatter? ahh i cant remember
iii. richer or poorer? once again, i cant remember

17. What do you wish you'd done more of? hanging out with mona & ivori & blair

18. What do you wish you'd done less of? liking people.

19. Did you fall in love this summer? i thought i did. but now i dont know.

20. How many one-night stands? zero

21. What was your favorite TV program? what not to wear but thats all the time not just this summer.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last summer? YESYESYESSOMUCH

23. What was your greatest musical discovery? oh man, so many..probably from first to last but i dont know.

24. What did you want and get? the ability to get over assholes

25. What did you want and not get? my dream guy

26. What was your favorite film of this summer? i dont know

27. What one thing would have made your summer much more satisfying? a boy.

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this summer? whatever

29. What kept you sane? certain people <3

30. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? none

31. Who did you miss? a lot of people, the most probably mike.

32. Who was the best new person you met? malcolm? but that was before summer. or BETH ROPER probably my sanity for the past month

33. What is a valuable life lesson you learned this summer: dont let people walk all over you, stand up for yourself and if someone treats you wrong, get them out of your life.

34. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I caught you
So take cover
Never saw it coming
So you put me on again
I had you and no other
The game, the lies are getting old.

or


And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you'd feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Sooner or later its over..
I just dont want to miss you tonight

or

Take the good with the bad, smile with the sad
Love what you got, remember what you had
Always forgive, never forget
Learn from mistakes, never regret
People change, things go wrong
Just remember, life goes on

the song cool by gwen stefani has a very weird affect on me. i cant explain it.

joe's picture was in the paper today and it made me smile. definately forgot how cute he is.

mike is coming in on tuesday. whoaaa time flies. im excited to see him especially considering i never got to say goodbye to him.

but the fact that he comes in means school is starting soon. gross.

joey leaves on saturday. im not gonna make myself cry and go into details.

im excited to see everyone. and see new kids?
i hope they're exciting.

i'm gonna miss my ess ritt tons<3

im going to finish cleaning my room.

i wish you would stop ignoring me and tell me whats going on.