Sleepless in Sledd [Saturday October 11th, 2008] thitman I leave in two days. My room has been ripped apart, and I've managed to pack most of my belongings. Tools wise-I got most of the things I need before I go. Whatever else will be purchased this sunday after I unpack in my dorm. It's just strange leaving. Because since I was little I imagined what kind of day this would be...but of course nothing turns out the way you expect it. My parents aren't taking me. My dad has been in Orlando this entire summer helping my grandpa who's in the hospital under critical care. My mom will be staying at home trying to fix her life-her marriage-and taking care of the rest of the siblings. Joanna won't be in the picture. I mean she'll be there saying goodbye, but she's not coming to college with me. It's going to be weird.......... ^ This was apparently an old draft livejournal saved. I meant to post this like August 16th. But the last time I actually posted a real entry was June 11th . That seems like a long time ago. A long long time ago. What has happened since June 11th? Well... let me think. The rest of June and the month of July I worked my last weeks at Quiksilver and slept a lot. I went to Gainesville July 17th for orientation and I bought my grandma a mug and my grandpa a shirt that said "Proud Grandparent of a Gator" or something neat like that, and I told my Grandpa (because he was a pretty big gator fan that he could wear that shirt on every game day). He was still in the Orlando hospital, in intensive care. I came home from that brief trip, and I'm pretty sure from that point in time my relationship with my step dad declined at an exponential rate. He yelled at me for being selfish and for leaving for school soon without considering to stay home to support the household...I told him he was an asshole (to his face! the first time I ever did..... and it felt pretty good!). Then the first week of August passed, and we had another fight, and he kicked me out. But I went back home while he was out of town. And then it was time for me to go to college! So I haven't spoken with him since. The first week I moved up here it was pretty weird. I felt like I was on vacation, I had a lot of free time to explore. No chores. No job. So I just walked around with Laura and Nicole a lot. And then school started. School has moved quickly though. I'm not getting A's. I'm struggling in Chemistry (kinda) and a little with Pre-Calc, I have no idea what my Philosophy professor is telling me, but Sociology is easy and I'm pretty convinced my Chem Lab T.A. likes me...but I might have a big ego. And then I got a job, so my time is fairly divided into school and work throughout the week. I've had a few chances to hang out with Sebastian and Joanna up in Tallahassee, and I really had fun both times. I'm still in love with my boyfriend and after watching Derrick and Meredith on Grey's Anatomy just now, I would like to "jump his bones" if he was here next to me. But I definitely see how college can change a person now and where everyone gets there skepticism about high-school relationships not lasting through their first year. I mean I understand why people would think the worse could happen-but I guess they really don't think its the worse...but that's a bunch of poop. really. I'm happy with how we are and where we are and I'd just like to keep it moving like that and let it grow at its own rate. But between those last two paragraphs, I haven't really spoken to my family much. Mainly my mom and my younger siblings. It kinda makes me sad. I guess it supports the idea that i don't have the best relationship with my family...well parts of it. maybe mostly my mom. and I would like to be closer with her. I don't think I can now though. There are a lot of external influences that drive us apart. No. I repeat just one Big Spanish Breathing Manic Depressive Force that rhymes with Lauricio. I seriously have no idea how to deal with that. Mmmmm. But as I was discussing what happened in the middle. I took my most recent trip to Tallahassee and on the Sunday morning I was to return to Gainesville, I got a very sad call from my dad, saying the my grandpa had passed away earlier that morning. cardiac arrest. induced, i'm sure by the several health problems he dealt with the last couple months of his life. it was really sad. that happened August 28th. My family had a service for him in California last week (because that's where most of my family is from) but we kitchen kids won't go to a service until the end of this month. It's a weird anticipation. I've never been to a funeral and I'm kind of nervous. I don't really think I've felt the full effects of his death....I don't know. Like I don't know the direction of the rest of this entry. I'm just tired and restless. It's hard making new friends. I mean I'm not alone. I have my friends from high school here, but I definitely want to meet new people and at the same time I reallly miss my old people. So the time I've spent alone, because I don't have new friends to share the spare time I would share with them, I spend contemplating about my life and other personal worries. And quite frankly I'm quietly freaking out on the inside. Is sociology the best major for me? Do I want to practice medicine? What the fuck else would I want to do? What occupation would be good for me? ... I have no skills. I don't know what's going on in the world. And I think I want to vote for change. But I still think being a doctor would be pretty cool...But if I get a C in CHM2045. Im going to be pissed off. And I still haven't been able to go to one goddamn football game. fuck 100 dollar tickets. I still have hope though. I know my problems. And I think I can solve them. READ (1) CMNT

well well [Saturday October 11th, 2008] bigjakeypoo no one even looks at these anymore. but im going through some shit. ive got a heavy heavy weight on my shoulders. im done caring about anyone and anything. i joined the Navy and i really cant wait to just leave. and hopefully when i do so my problems will stay here and i can forget about everything and everyone i will be leaving here. no. im not running from my problems and people who hurt me. i have taken care of those things. i just cant handle anymore problems. war will take my mind off of the simple mans problems and the simple mans life. i could tell you im ready to go and fight. but im not. i know one day i will wake up and my past will be nothing but a blur and the bombs and gun fire will snap things into perspective for me. its going to change me permanently. i know this. and am just as excited as i am scared. there is two types of people in this world. people who fear the unknown and people who are curious of the unknown. i for one am curious. god knows whats going to happen. i could be killed i could be wounded i could be scarred for life mentally or i could be perfectly fine or i could figure something out about myself and that i love killing people. only god knows. "in heaven everythings fine. in heaven everythings alright." heaven is the simplicity in life that gives me chills. not happiness not an emotion. just simplicity in life. nothing with complications. yes humans were meant to feel emotion i know. but my heaven is simple. no complications. no panic attacks. no anxiety attacks. no more thinking constantly that im going to die everyday because of my heart condition no one knows about. i found out today my best friends father has cancer. he is a great man. never done any harm in life. but its kinda snappingthings into perspective for me. im finally realizing that my actions and emotions are only crippling me. where im going the only thing to worry about is whether your going to kill or be killed there is no room for emotional baggage. PTSS i could come back with my tail between my legs absolutely horrified of anything and everything. but then again. part of me just wants to sit here and drink myself to death. ofcourse it wont happen. ofcourse i signed the contract and im gone. war is real. death is real. i feel i have yet to experience anything in the truest sense of real. and once i do i am convinced i can die a happy man. i dont even want to get on the subject of girls. im just dead on the subject. i have jumped from girl to girl since i got my heart broken last. and its done nothing but get worse and worse. i need a healing period and i need the navy to hurry the fuck up and send me to bootcamp already. i dont need any outside influence about anything. im content with myself and content with where im heading in my life. READ (0) CMNT

Touch of Grey's Comprehensive List of the Shitty Shows on Adult Swim [Monday September 29th, 2008] touch_of_grey37 [ music | Cath...-Death Cab for Cutie ] Okay, it isn't comprehensive. This is just a list of the shows (non-anime) that have been on Adult Swim and where they rate on a scale of 1-10, 1 being GET THIS SHIT OFF MY TV NOW and 10 being I WANT THIS SHOW TATTOOED ONTO MY EYELIDS SO I CAN WATCH IT FOREVER. Let's begin. Assy McGee- 2. Stupid, yet sometimes almost standable. The Drinky Crow Show- Never seen it Fat Guy Stuck in Internet- 5, but only because of that damn maze episode. That was really flamboyant and funny. Frisky Dingo- 1. I couldn't sit through the entire episode I watched, either. Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil- Never seen it. Metalocalypse- 15 BEST SHOW EVER. I am in no way a metalhead, but I love this show. Robot Chicken- 7. Sometimes funny, sometimes stupid as hell. Best sketch? The Swedish Chef. Worst sketch? Santa goes to Japan. Squidbillies- 6. Makes my head hurt with it's total lack of sophistication, but god help me, it makes me laugh. Saul of the Mole Men- 1. Stupid as all hell. Superjail- 10. One of the best, randomly violent shows I've seen in a long time. Like Ren and Stimpy hosted by a sadistic, demented Willy Wonka and held in an otherworldly prison. Featuring a recovering alcoholic and a transexual. Seriously, the Warden is just precious. Hey, this is my list. I'm allowed to be a little bit biased. Can't wait for more episodes! That Crook'd 'Sipp- Never seen it. Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!- 1. I would rather eat my own elbows than see a full episode of this show. The Venture Bros.- 8. I loved Johnny Quest as a kid, so of course this show appeals to me. Mr. White and Billy the Quizboy kinda weird me out a bit, though. I don't know if they're borthers in arms or lovers or what, but since my brain isn't letting me fully process the latter, the former will have to do. 12 oz. Mouse- Never saw it. The Brak Show- 5. I liked Space Ghost better Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law- 9. Superheroes + lawsuits= awesome show Minoriteam- 3. Boring as all hell. Also, I feel like I should be really offended by Jewcano, but I'm just not. Moral Orel- 6. Amusing, if only because I like shows that poke fun at religion. Perfect Hair Forever- 8. Possibly the best anime parody show I've ever seen. Delightfully lewd and immature. Sealab 2021- 4. It has it's moments. Not many of them, but it has had a few. Space Ghost Coast to Coast- 7. Brilliant show. The Brak Show...should not have happened. Stroker and Hoop- 5. Okay, we get it. HOOP IS REALLY GAY. Enough, already. Tom Goes to the Mayor- -30. WORST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION. And I'm counting the failed sitcom Cavemen in there. So yeah, that's the list. Tell your friends! Make your own! I officially declare this a meme! DOOOOO EEEEEET! READ (0) CMNT

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