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[16 Sep 2010|06:09pm] |
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I've decided to leave most of my picture entries public, but for the most part this journal is friends only.
1. Comment first and tell me your adding me.
2. Tell me how you found me
3. I'll pretty much add anybody back (with a few exceptions)
4. I don't really care if you promote your community here so go ahead
Au Revoir!
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[02 Sep 2008|07:17pm] |
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Even though I had been dabbling with the idea of going to study in Florence all of last semester, I ended up casting that notion out of my head by the end of spring because it was "unreasonable." Now though, after thinking long and hard about it again, I have realized that it is the only thing that feels right in my life right now. Staying here at UMass for another full year sounds like a fucking nightmare to me, but I was willing to do it just cause what else was I gonna do? But the second the idea of Italy came back to me, it just felt so right in my head and made me finally excited about things again. I've already begun the application process, etc. and I see no reason why I wouldn't get accepted and/or not go. So...here goes nothing.
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[15 Jul 2008|03:27pm] |
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Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? Like REALLY looked at yourself. I've been doing this a lot recently and it's been one of the most terrifying things ever. I have this habit of talking to myself and wording my thoughts out loud so that I can really hear them. But the other night, I talked to myself aloud while staring at myself in the mirror and it was a fucking surreal experience. When you really look at yourself and you examine your face and hear your voice being echoed throughout the room and you look at your surroundings and realize where the fuck you are, it really fucking hits you that this is your life. This is my life right now and it's really fucking happening and there's nothing I can do to stop it. This isn't a movie, not some book, this is reality; and maybe I don't need to try to keep make sense of everything. Maybe I'll always be confused and I'll always be anxious and have this sinking feeling inside my chest, but maybe that's okay. Life has it's ups and downs and sometimes I can't believe this shit is really happening to me. And even though I know I'll get out of this funk eventually and feel like myself again, maybe it never really stops.
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[18 May 2008|02:13pm] |
feelin' better, finally. 4 more days till I go home! Then, back to the valley.
I am too excited to decorate my new house, god damn!
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[17 Apr 2008|08:04pm] |
Today I got to check out the house which I will be living in this summer here in Amherst.
( +3 )
The space in the room that I'll be renting out is pretty luxurious and I can't wait to decorate it into a polaroid wonderland. I also have a door leading straight to the porch in my room, where I can freely smoke cigarettes and blaze. Thank you Ben Janas and thank god for off-campus living.
Spring is beautiful. I haven't appreciated sun and breeze in so long, especially after having survived a soul-crushing winter. I am pretty content right now, but we'll see how long that lasts. I've been trying to just go with the flow and not question things anymore. Whatever happens will happen and I should just stop trying to take control of everything.
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[16 Mar 2008|05:11pm] |
Oh hey so there was this time that I flew to Montreal and I got to the airport and Gaspard Augé & Xavier de Rosnay of JUSTICE sat next to me at the terminal and I talked to them & they were on my flight. Yeah, that's what happened this morning and apart of me couldn't help but scream with excitement inside. I wanted to get a picture so badly but my camera was in my check-in luggage, FUCK. Caitlin and I are going to the L’Université de Montréal tonight to see if we can get in to the show since we missed them last night in Boston.
Montréal is beautiful. I just bought a bottle of Pinot Grigio and we are getting settled in our loveshack caravan (literally). Let the festivities begin!
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[14 Mar 2008|01:31pm] |
montreal, here I come!
I am way too hungover right now from last night. shoot me in the fucking face.
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[11 Mar 2008|05:52pm] |
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oh p.s. I found out I have a ganglion cyst on my left wrist today. awesome.
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| yes sir, no sir |
[11 Mar 2008|05:52pm] |
ryan dunn is my boo.
I'll be the first to admit, these pictures are only mildly entertaining. but, proceed.
( random pictures from february )
I need to get out of this place right now, it's becoming too much to handle. I'm off to Montreal in a few days, thank god! It will be nice to be in a place where I can just drink & be merry and get my mind off things. I've got so much work to do the next few days, I don't even know where to begin. That vape is starting to take over my life.
Adjusting back to super singles life is hard, I'm still having trouble. I'll admit, I miss seeing him everyday and just cuddling in his arms, but I have to realize that he's like a 10 year old boy. He can't give me what I want and he doesn't even know what he wants. This break from him will probably do me some good...I er, hope at least. I don't know, things are weird.
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| scissor paper rock |
[18 Feb 2008|10:52pm] |
anthony
( +15 )
Life has been a whirlwind lately, I just don't know what to do. I went to this party at Hampshire on Friday to get away from UMass people but then right when I walk in, I see half the people I see every weekend. It was kinda whack so I bounced and just went back to nina's and talked till the wee hours of the morning like the old days. I spent pretty much all of Saturday with Chris. I got breakfast with him and Ben, then I made him watch Hard Candy with me (a precautionary tale ahah). He took me out to dinner, which was nice, free meal! Then last night I got wicked fucking stoned cause of caitlin's vaporizer. Seriously, what the fuck man.
Overall, whutta weekend. The weather is shitty. SPRING WHERE ARE YOU?!
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| Thanks Dan! |
[11 Feb 2008|06:34pm] |
from awhile ago while I was still in LA. Photo Cred - Dan Mekpong
( no homo )
I missed my therapy appointment today, for like the 3rd time. FUCK. It is currently 20 degrees outside and I never want to leave my room. I think I'm going to go visit Chris tonight though...hopefully I won't just end up upset at the end of the night. Caitlin & I booked a trip to Montreal, QC today and I am a little freaked out by how drunk I'll probably be all spring break. I don't know why I can't just let things flow, I always have to take control of every situation and know what's going on between me and the other person. My mind keeps wandering into the realm of my repressed sexual desires. I write in choppy sentences. My brain hurts.
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[29 Jan 2008|02:10am] |
harry harrison: intergalactic boy wonder.
( last night )
First night back at "the zoo," very unexpectedly drunk. Caitlin's neighbor lured us into his room while we were watching Lost and fed us margaritas. Next thing I know I'm stumbling around becoming best friends with everyone. Then went up to Baker and saw a couple of old friends, good times all around. Ugh, I was so hungover this morning I couldn't even believe it. Overall, I'm really glad I'm back. My optimism about this semester has been paying off! I know it's only been 2 days, but I really did miss this snowy new england frontier.
We watched "La Haine" in my cinema & psyche class today...wow, I was blown away. I should really get my shit together, I've already skipped a class. I suck at life.
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[26 Jan 2008|11:10pm] |
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Back to school
( where the magic happens )
Man, I missed my room. My flight back today was really tedious and exhausting. I didn't sleep at all last night cause I thought I could just sleep on the plane but this little baby behind me kept screaming and kicking the back of my chair, gah. Suffice it to say, I am fuckin' beat right now. I can't wait to curl up in my snug bed again and wake up whenever I want to without being yelled at. Everyone's coming back tomorrow! Reunions galore! Still trying to stay optimistic bout this semester, but I guess we'll see what happens.
I've been doing a lot of soul-searching recently. I'm starting to think I don't have one. I miss you Heathcliff Andrew Ledger.
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[19 Jan 2008|05:30pm] |
( $$$$$ )
So after kickin' it aimlessly for the past month in pasadena, I'm finally flying back to the east coast in exactly a week. For the most part, I am indifferent about the whole thing. Excited yet not. I'm going into this semester optimistic, but we'll see how it goes. I've been watching a lot of Lost and ANTM marathons to get through the rest of the break (what with everyone gone and all). Fresh Prince till 5 am every morning has become my life (aka, i dont have one). someone teach me how to play a zither.
p.s. I watched cloverfield the other night and I was very disappointed. Plus it made me motion-sick like a motherfucker. OK BACK TO PROJECT RUNWAY!
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[05 Jan 2008|02:35am] |
me at my most attractive.
( +12 )
There was a power failure at in my house today because of the shitty weather. What the fuck man, I did not come back to california for flash flood warnings. Anyways! I checked my grades for this past semester and I was pleasantly surprised! I'm well on my way to raising my GPA to go abroad next spring (hopefully). Everyone's going back to school soon, whereas I will be stuck here for the next 3 weeks..fuck. Better get ready to watch an intense amount of Lost to kill the time.
btw, cloverfield looks LEGIT.
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[27 Dec 2007|01:20am] |
( yoo )
I've said it once but i'll say it again, i'm happy to be home. driving down the 101 to hollywood, pho runs with dan & jen, movie marathons like no one can believe, long talks with those I haven't seen in forever. I know it's only been 4 days since I've been back and the novelty will probably wear off soon considering i'll be here for 5 weeks, but I'll just try to appreciate this while I can. I still have so many people to see!
I saw Juno last night, aww. OOH! and I laid my eyes on my soulmate at amoeba the other night! Unfortunately, I was too scared to talk to him. Dan was going to go tell him I thought he was adorable, and then I ran away before he got a chance. I suck.
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[25 Dec 2007|12:51am] |
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My dad bought me this camera today for xmas. it's pretty sexy looking. i'm excited!
I am back in LA right now and I can't help but feel so grateful to be home.
Even though I still have my ups and downs with this place, I don't think I've ever felt the biggest feeling of relief being here in my entire life. The past four months have been horrible, depressing, and just shitty overall. I'm sorry to sound like a debbie downer, but this was just the worst semester I've ever had. I'm hoping to come back to something completely different. I already have a feeling that things will start looking up in 2008. Pauline and I are thinking of going to France for spring break, maybe the Dominican Republic (everything is in the works). I can't wait to see what happens.
Last week of school: wrote paper after paper after paper, spent 10 hours in the library a day, took over 100 mg of adderall all together, didn't sleep or eat for days, read an uncountable number of pages for finals, and went a little insane.
The last week did have its upsides though. Staying up till 7 in the morning with Caitlin, getting stoned, watching walker texas ranger clips, talking and laughing about anything and everything. That pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm just glad to be back. It's hard to leave sometimes.
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[29 Aug 2007|06:11pm] |
3 more days till I'm ready to dipset outta this piece. THANK GAWD.
Since I'm in a good mood, have some free music!
ADVANCE
Akron/Family - Love Is Simple
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?e2alhpdbom5
This album doesn't come out till sometime in mid september. I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but I enjoy what I've heard so far.
Justice - Cross
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?1emfadigmw9
One of the best electro/dance albums I've heard in awhile. This is definitely one of my current favorite albums; great beats, fun to dance to, epic in general.
Oh, and let it be known if you are taking any so that I can decide whether or not I will keep posting free music in future entries. Gracias.
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[30 Jul 2007|01:17pm] |
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( thank god denny's is open 24 hours )
On Saturday me & dan met up and were originally going to go watch the simpsons movie but it got sold out, ugh. So we ended up going to the midnight screening of Evil Dead 2 at the rialto instead. Ran into vasco there! such good fun. Next week at midnight: Harold and Maude. I buy way too many fucking clothes.
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[28 Jul 2007|04:43pm] |
I got over 74 dollars worth of american apparel clothes today for only 20 dollars total. oh god, i love hook ups ahahah.
me and lauren. fun stuff!
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