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Wednesday, December 7th 2005 at 5:00 pm
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its been awhile so i thought i'd update.
i'm still with mike and everything is GREAT.
WONDERFUL.
MAGNIFICENT.
EXTRAVAGANT.
he's a wonderful boyfriend.
but i'm not writing to talk about him.
i'm writing to talk about my mother who thinks i'm constantly in a bad mood.
which i don't think i am.
i never home, how can i be?
okay, lately i've been a little moody but thats because im PMSing.
what do you expect?
and i'm not allowed to be tired.
my mother is the only one.
some days i go from 5:30 in the morning to 11:00 at night.
im tired, my bad dawg.
UGGHHH.
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| wise men say only fools rush in. |
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Saturday, September 24th 2005 at 10:32 am
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
sooo.
its almost been a month.
not a lot has changed.
i still got my man.
and he is wonderful.
things are going great.
i'm working a lot and i have school.
so i'm pretty busy.
i don't have time to be a loser and update my livejournal everyday.
my bad. :((((((((
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| If you make friends with Jesus Christ you will get right up from that chalk outline. |
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Saturday, August 27th 2005 at 8:31 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 ughhh |
] |
so.
this week has been okayyyyy.
friday, i got to see mike a bunch so that was a good day.
wesley couldn't come along on our little adventure though.
he was in trouble with his grandmother.
but we went and celebrated colin getting his license at carvel.
my friend alyssa works there and it was hilarious when a woman ordered a waffle cone and alyssa made it clear how much she hated making them right to the lady's face. it was wonderful.
"Everybody orders waffle cones, I HATE MAKING DANG WAFFLE CONES!''
today sucked tremendously.
i worked from 10:30 to 5.
i called my mom 'cause i wanted to hang out with her at orange park mall for a little while but when i called her she's like ''WHAT DO YOU WANT?''
so i hung up on her and she told me i couldn't go anywhere.
and then my brother pissed me off and told me i was psycho.
so i went on a walk 'cause i hate this hell hole of home and walked to robbie's.
and we're supposed to hang out later so my night isn't totally screwed.
UGGHHHHH today has sucked.
i want my man.
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| I'm his because he appreciates perfection. |
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Monday, August 22nd 2005 at 7:29 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 good |
] |
so that last entry was just a baby lash.
i've been doing pretty good actually.
my paycheck managed to last until sunday when i went to marble slab.
do you blame me?
but thing have been going good.
and i have good news, but its not anything new really...
i have a man, finally.
i haven't really had time to post about it yet so i am now.
his name's mike.
he's funny.
he's blonde with blue eyes.
he's 6'4''.
he's young, he JUST turned 16.
he's a junior though.
and i like him.
i'm not crazy in love with him or anything like that but i like him.
he makes me laugh and i have fun with him.
so i like him.
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| This won't be played on your radio. |
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Monday, August 8th 2005 at 7:45 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
so first day of school.
my classes kind of stink except for third and fourth period.
and i only get to see miss rj every other day.
my classes aren't hard at all.
1st - COMPU APPLI I - MR D
2nd - CHEMISTRY I - MIRDANIALI
3rd - ENGLISH III - PRICE
4TH - PERSON SOC FAM REL (SEX ED) - BROWN
i only know one person in both my first and second period.
one is kind of loser and reassures me everyday that harry potter is going to die in the seventh book.
the other is ghetto fabulous and well, i'm not.
i can be, but i'm not.
i really think there is a ghetto fabulous side in all of us.
but anyway, it was the first day of school and it sucked like all first days tend to.
ughhhh, 5:30 every morning.
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| We all had our reasons to be there. |
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Friday, August 5th 2005 at 10:37 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
so i went to the park today
because my mother and i got into an argument and i needed to get out of the house.
so i went to the park and i stood at the pier and just listened to some slow mellow jet.
and then i went and sat on these benches overlooking the river.
and it was really beautiful actually.
well, there's a little bicycle trail that runs along the edge of the river and the bench is located on the trail.
so i'm just sitting there still listening to my jet.
and here comes a rather handsome bicycle boy.
and he's not just any handsome bicycle boy,
he's a shirtless and sweaty handsome bicycle boy.
and he comes bicycling by and i think it took everything i had to not be like
oh my GOD!
it was awesome.
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| This is one time that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone. |
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Friday, August 5th 2005 at 1:29 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And covered with a perfect shell
Such a charming, beautiful exterior
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by
This is one time, this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...
Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
And you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all..or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most
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| You didn't wait for all the information before you turned me away. |
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Tuesday, August 2nd 2005 at 1:56 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
so i went to orientation this morning.
and saw a lot of people.
it was nice.
i'm not sure if my classes really stink yet.
it depends who's in them.
i'm not sure which lunch i have either.
i left my schedule at the church.
i saw bryant and he looked good.
his hair's gotten a lot longer.
my mom asked me if i knew anyone with short hair.
heh, it made me laugh.
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| Don't call my name out your window, i'm leaving. |
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Monday, August 1st 2005 at 1:06 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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still aggravated |
] |
so today is lovely. i get to sit at home all day long and just chill. i wanna listen to some dashboard but my cd player is screwed and i can't really just take my stereo and bring it in here where my comp is. ughhhhhh. i am sad. i really wanna listen to some boo hooing from the wonderful mr. carabba. i'll find a way.
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| Well i'll just say it. i need you defenseless, dependant, and alone. |
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Monday, August 1st 2005 at 10:24 am
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| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
so last night was okay.
we all went and saw batman begins
and personally i think it kind of stunk.
and i had a really bad headache that didn't help much.
and by the end of the night i was lashing.
i just can't stand people who treat like i'm 5.
like i can't drive.
i've been driving for like 6 months. illegally, yes but still.
like i don't know anything.
i've been through way more then some of people in my youth group ever will.
and they think i don't know anything.
they think i have no experience.
i'm tired of some 14 year old getting attitude with me everytime i say something
and treating me like i'm stupid.
it just pisses me off.
ahhhh people.
i'm not a people person.
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| Whereever you go, whatever you do; I will be right here waiting for you. |
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Saturday, July 30th 2005 at 7:52 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 full |
] |
so i went to the beach thursday for 3 or 4 hours.
and i looked like a lobster friday.
and sort of still do look like a lobster.
and it hurts really bad.
i got burned reallllly bad. i have blisters on my shoulders, it was so bad.
but i'm gonna be tan.
well, i better be or i'm gonna be really TOed.
and i went and saw WAR OF THE WORLDS last night.
and i must say, it was pretty darn good.
tom cruise is hott and the guy who played his son was pretty hott too.
it's like two for one.
the only bad part about last night was that my date had to work late so he wasn't able to join me.
i was a little sad but it didn't break my heart or anything.
today, i worked from 10:30 to 5.
it was okay, really busy.
this hott guy from the ukraine came up.
and my first thought was 'i gotta go to the ukraine sometime.'
[hopefully i'm spelling ukraine correctly, i'm just guessing here.]
and then i came home and watched IT TAKES TWO with mary-kate and ashley (pathetic i know).
i kind of like that movie actually.
and later on i plan to either watch REIGN OF FIRE or BOURNE IDENTITY or something good.
i don't know.
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| does barry manilow know you raid his wardrobe? |
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Monday, July 25th 2005 at 7:09 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
so i got to reading one of my entries from a little while ago about how i don't need the perfect guy.
i don't. but i would like a really good guy. A guy that fits the little picture that i have in my head. That guy is CHRISTIAN, funny, likes music, smart, tall, and semi-good looking. i'm tired of always settling. i just don't wanna settle anymore. i want a guy thats exactly what i have in mind.
not that i want a boyfriend right now because i DON'T.
i'm saying when the time comes thats the kind of guy i want.
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| she said, don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself. |
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Monday, July 25th 2005 at 2:23 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
i'm back home.
back to everyday everyday.
i started reading harry potter and the order of the phoenix again. so i can remember exactly what they're talking about when they talk about the prophecy.
i'm working a lot again but fortunately i don't have to work with my boss's wife all that much anymore. praise God.
i planning to go to the mall and just walk around for a few hours tonight. thats if my mom is cool with it. the whips have been acting weird lately.
oh well.
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| ''Wait 'til i show ya what da hizzle..'' |
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Friday, July 22nd 2005 at 10:51 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
so this weekend has been awesome so far.
tonight we read Psalm 51 and it really like got to me.
it's exactly what i feel.
but there's also a song that really explains how i feel.
i've put this song on here before.
''my heart is hard,
my soul's so weak.
the flesh of evil
cuts so deep.
i need you Lord
to come inside.
And gently break my heart.''
evil gets in the way constantly and its so hard to not wanna go and get wasted and cuss so i can sound big and bad and not go to bourbon street with the homes and not want a non-christian man.
its just hard.
ughhhh, life is hard.
as corny as that sounds.
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| ''er-my-nee.'' |
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Thursday, July 21st 2005 at 8:38 am
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| [ |
mood |
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 sad |
] |
ah, it's tragic.
i finished reading the half-blood prince and dumbledore was actually killed.
i cried i was so upset.
i still am very upset.
i'm interested to find out what happens in the seventh book.
we'll all have to wait a couple more years before it comes out.
ugh.
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