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Thursday, May 14th, 2009
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7:55 am - Long time no write.
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Jesus. I haven't posted since the end of January.
Here's what's happened in the past few months:
I've graduated college, summa cum laude with a 3.96.
I made all A's this semester.
I've gotten two tattoos. ( see hereCollapse )
I'm officially going to Japan with Sarah at the end of August, for an entire month.
Chris is moving in with me (along with his two cats, meaning we'll have four in my tiny apartment).
We're planning on moving to Nashville in January and are looking for a house.
I've lost 15 pounds and a couple of pants sizes (and as a result have bought way too many new clothes).
I'm going to Anime Mid-Atlantic next month, which will be my first con ever.
I'm looking into starting up an online graduate program in web design (need to do more research, though).
And that's about it. At least, that's all I can think of at the moment.
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| Monday, January 26th, 2009
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11:12 am - The Great Health Kick of 2009
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Since the beginning of the year, I've been attempting to eat better and get in shape (read: lose weight). Additionally, I've been taking vitamins and supplements. (It's funny, three years ago I couldn't swallow pills, and now I'm taking about 5 or 6 a day, including some gigantic horse pills that I've finally managed to get down whole.)
Not that anyone really cares, but here's what's been going on in my life, health-wise.
I restarted an account with The Daily Plate. My best friend also signed up, which is extra motivation. I've changed my weekly weight loss goal a few times, but right now it's at 2 lbs a week, which sets me at 1500-something calories a day. Now, I haven't actually lost much if any weight since I've started (it's hard to say, because--prepare for TMI--I'm on my period and have been constipated for the past week or so), but it's really made me aware of what I'm eating. So, despite perhaps not losing any weight so far, I do feel better now that I'm eating better. I'm not starving myself, nor am I torturing myself. I'm trying to avoid things like fast food, and when I go out to eat, I try to find something relatively healthy. But I'm still letting myself have things I want. If I want ice cream, I'll have some--just better portioned, whether actually measuring it out or having a Healthy Choice ice cream bar. If I want pizza, I'll have some--just two slices instead of four or five.
I think part of the reason I haven't lost much weight is due to the fact that I haven't been able to exercise as often as I should. It's not so much that I'm lazy; I just don't always have the time, what with 32 hours of work and 15 hours of school, plus whatever social time arises. I'm trying to change this, though. I have a free gym membership, I have Exercise TV--I just need to make more time to utilize them.
Medication-wise, in addition to my daily pills of BC and Zoloft, I've been taking some multivitamins for dieters and multi-enzyme vitamins. I also try to take some liquid joint maintenance when I can, to help with my developing arthritis/carpal tunnel. Aside from medications, I've also been using a Neti pot for my sinus troubles. I try to use it once every day, and it really seems to be helping (much more than my two visits to the ENT, but that's another story...).
Going back to my diet, I've noticed that I consume waaaaay too much sodium. And what disgusts me is that I probably consumed twice as much, or maybe even three times as much, when I wasn't keeping track. Last semester, I ate out quite frequently, at places like Chili's, much of whose food is horrible for you in so many ways. I'm still getting too much sodium, but I'm drinking a lot of water to counteract it. I've also learned that eating too much protein can cause constipation, and I've been eating over 100% of my daily value in protein (which is kind of crazy, because I thought getting enough protein was a big problem for me), so maybe that's why I've been having that particular issue. So, I'm trying to lower my protein intake and increase my fiber intake.
Aaaaand... that's about it, for now. My completely useless linguistic anthro class (that is hot as balls today) is about to end, so it's time to close up shop.
current mood: roasting
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| Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
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8:56 am - Laptop operation
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Chris and I completely disassembled my laptop the other night in order to replace my cooling fan. I hope I never have to do that again. While it was a learning experience, it was also slightly nervewracking, because neither of us really knew what we were doing and we could've fucked up my computer. When we booted it up after putting it back together, it wouldn't turn on. I freaked a bit, thinking we'd blown my motherboard. So Chris started taking it apart again and double-checking all of the cables. Turns out, we didn't have the power-on cable pushed in all the way. Durr.
Everything seems to be running smoothly, aside from my cd-drive which is making a curious sound but working well anyway. I guess I'll have to remove it when I have time and see what's going on there.
One thing that weirds me out is that we had four or five screws left over. I know where one of them is supposed to go, since we couldn't use it because we somehow broke off the screw bracket (or whatever it's called). We broke off a few little pieces of the casing but fortunately nothing that's crucial to the running of my computer.
In other news, I have not been doing spectacularly well on my midterms and I have a presentation on Thursday. Stupid school.
current mood: meh
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| Saturday, October 11th, 2008
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9:21 pm - It never fails.
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So, apparently it was a new cooling fan that I needed, not a hard drive. I'd probably need one sometime soon anyway, but now I'm all paranoid about my fan going out. I ordered a new one, so hopefully I'll get it before mine dies. We'll see if I can actually install it myself, since it's gonna require taking apart the entire underside of my laptop...
Right now I'm watching The Machine Girl, which is a really fucked up, gory-as-hell, over-the-top Japanese movie. It's kind of making me nauseous, it's that bad.
I really wish we could get a full week off for fall break. Two days really doesn't make that much of a difference.
current mood: grossed out
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| Thursday, October 9th, 2008
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10:20 am - Days off sure are nice.
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Busy, busy, busy. I like being busy, but a girl's gotta have some R&R time. Thank goodness today and tomorrow it's fall break, and I'm off work today.
I recently replaced my laptop hard drive. I'm proud of myself, because I did it all on my own, spending a total of $60-something for the HD itself (this girl at work said her husband could replace it for $350—wtfever!). Retardedly, I was not supplied with recovery discs when I purchased my laptop, and the 'create recovery disc' option on my computer didn't seem to work. Fortunately, Chris had his recovery discs for his laptop, so I used the Windows XP one and, thank goodness, it worked. Because the disc was not supplied by Toshiba, I had to go to their website and download all the drivers, but that really wasn't too bad. I also was able to get my Office and Photoshop working again, which I was worried about for various reasons. The only really annoying thing I've come across (so far) is not being able to get the Japanese IME to work. Whenever I'd try to install East Asian fonts, it would prompt me to put in the Windows cd, which I don't have. And apparently you HAVE to have it in order to install them, because Microsoft doesn't provide a download for them online. So, I did a Google search and discovered a few torrents, and proceeded to download my first torrent ever (because for some reason, I couldn't get them to work on my old HD). And it worked! Hurrah! I'm proud of myself for being somewhat computer-savvy.
I'm also very happy to have a "new" computer. It's so much quicker and hasn't pissed me off yet for being retarded. Uploading my old files and downloading new programs is sort of annoying, but it's nice to have a fresh start and not have tons of useless programs bogging down my computer. Now I just need to find an antivirus software, since I apparently have misplaced the disc of whatever it was I had before.
( And now, it's time for a meme!Collapse )
( My answersCollapse )
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| Sunday, September 7th, 2008
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10:26 pm - Okay, here goes my monthly update...
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I really should start updating more often. But eh. Who cares?
Tonight I've made spaghetti sauce, fried eggplant, and blueberry-banana muffins. The sauce is okay, the eggplant is pretty good but a little salty for some reason (I blame the seasoned breadcrumbs), and the muffins are still in the oven, so we'll see. I've printed out tons of recipes from Recipezaar and I really wish I had more time to play around with cooking and baking. Stupid school and work (and fencing), sucking up all my time. >/
School is going smoothly so far. Classical Japanese is tough, but I think I'm slowly starting to figure it out (no thanks to the teacher). English 372 (lamely entitled All About the Sentence, formerly Modern Structure of the English Language) is pretty much a waste of time--it's just more linguistics crap I already know--but it's a requirement, so I have to take it. But it's easy, which is good. Sociolinguistics isn't too exciting either, but it's not quite as bad, and it's a topic I really enjoy. (And it's also super easy.) And lastly, there's Old English, which is probably my favorite class this semester. It's fun learning an extinct, useless language, but the best part of the class is the teacher, who may be my favorite professor so far in college. He's such a smartass and I LOVE it. :D
Doot di doot. What else? This is a busy month, celebration-wise. My sister's birthday is the 13th, as is my best friend's, Dwayne's is the 16th, and Valerie is getting married on the 19th! Holy crap. Craziness. My wallet's gonna get a bit lighter these next few weeks...
I just found some bites on my thigh. Let's hope they're just flea bites... oh snap! Just saw one on my keyboard! Bastard flea! ...but I'd rather have you and a few of your friends around than those vile hellbeasts known as bedbugs.... *shudder* I guess this means I need to get some drops for my kitties. There goes more money...
I guess I'll go try one of my muffins now. They're kind of green, but hopefully they'll taste good anyway. And then I have to attack that mountain of dishes that I produced tonight...
current mood: domestic
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| Monday, August 11th, 2008
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10:39 pm - What I've been working on lately
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| Friday, August 8th, 2008
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10:56 pm - OWW
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I have sliced open two of my fingers today, both times by simply trying to wash dishes, and by the same exact damn knife. The first time, the knife was lying in the sink and I forgot it was there. Wash, wash, reach, OW FUCK gushing blood gush gush nausea going to pass out... sit down, breathe, ok, I'm ok. That was several hours ago. Then I braved washing the dishes again and attempted to wash the knife--which promptly fucking cut me again! I swear, this fucking knife is cursed. Chris bought it for me the other day and today was the first time I've used it. Ironically, I almost texted him earlier to thank him for it, because it cuts really well. But then I learned just how well it cuts. Goddamnit. Now both of my hands are fugged up which is going to make cooking tomorrow somewhat difficult. *sigh*
current mood: in pain
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| Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
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8:14 am - Being an adult is lame.
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Wow, it's been nearly a month since my last post. Not surprising, since my life has been pretty uneventful lately. I go to work, I come home, I go to sleep, lather, wash, rinse, repeat. Sometimes I do some other things, like go spend money I don't have, but none of those things are terribly exciting, either. Oh well. I guess this is what being a responsible adult working a real job is like. Boring.
The biggest new thing in my life right now is that I've been getting into beadwork lately. So far I've made a few beaded animal figurines with wire and seed beads, but I'm actually kind of interested in learning how to make jewelry, as well. I may go to an intro to beading class at A.C. Moore on Friday. I think it might be pretty cool. I'll try to post some pictures of my figurines if I can remember to update this thing again soon.
I seriously need to see a doctor about my sinus problems. I had another spell last night, and this time, seaweed salad came out of my nose. Yeah. Not fun. Especially the part where it burned. I blew my nose afterwards and more came out. Grosssss. Man, I'm so tired of this shit.
Okay, time to go be lame and run out west to buy more beads.
current mood:  groggy
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| Wednesday, July 9th, 2008
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8:17 am - Awkward...
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Yesterday morning, at work, I got the weirdest call. It was the first call where I had ever gotten extremely agitated with a merchant and had to raise my voice. Long story short (mostly because you probably won't really know what I'm talking about), he got pissed at me for something that was his fault and I had to get stern with him. He said that maybe he should talk to someone else, because apparently we were speaking two different languages, which basically implied that I was an idiot, but it was HE who wasn't listening to what I was saying. Turns out, he didn't even know what an authorization was. Anyway, the weirdest part of this was when he asked for my name. I thought he was going to ask to speak to my supervisor, but instead, he said, "Megan, I like your attitude. You've got a sexy voice, you know?" Uhhhhhhhhhhh. What?! My response: Silence. Silence. "Thanks... I think?" To which he laughed, and then everything was okay and I finally was able to get him to understand the authorization process.
... yeah. And guess where this guy was from.
The Bronx.
Big surprise.
I hope I don't get monitored on that particular call. But at the same time, I kind of do, because I'm sure it'd give whichever supervisor was monitoring a laugh.
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| Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
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7:27 pm - i has a sleepy
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I puked a lot last night. (And pooped a lot, too, if you care to know). It was not fun. I slept three, maybe four hours. All because of my goddamned sinuses. I wake up, my head stuffy, and can't get back to sleep. I take a Sudafed, which apparently my stomach does not like, and it proceeds to empty itself, over and over again. The Sudafed has caffiene in it, so I stay awake a bit longer. I finally sleep a couple hours on the couch, get woken up by Josh's coffee maker, go back to bed, and wake up an hour or so later when Kudzu decides he wants to get all cooey on me. Sigh. Then I go to work, feeling tired as hell. But, I won Half Day Happiness (a drawing we do every so often on slower days) at 5:45 and got to go home early. Yay. I would've napped, but I suck at taking naps. And I've also been drinking lots of caffiene today to stay awake, so I probably wouldn't ever be able to get to sleep.
Anyway, there's my night, and most of the day. And to you, sinuses: Fuck. You.
In better news, I overheard Josh and Chris talking about Josh's internship, and how he might intern again next summer. So I asked how likely that was, and if he'd want to stay in my apartment and take care of my cats (and plants) while I'm in Japan. Well, it looks like a pretty sure thing. Which is awesome, because now I may actually, finally, get to go to Japan. My cats were my biggest problem, followed by paying for an empty apartment for two to three months (because I am sure as hell not moving again any time soon, unless it's out of this state). If this works out, it will be fucking sweet. So now I'm trying to do a lot of research on Japanese language schools. I like the $5,000-ish one in Tokyo, but I'm sure there are plenty of other great places out there besides that one. I've got quite a while before any of their deadlines come up.
I've still got over half of my 13 days in a row of work left. Blah. But at least I'm getting overtime AND holiday pay tomorrow, and overtime for Saturday. Yay moneys.
current mood: groggy
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2008
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1:55 pm - Whoa ho, an update!
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Since I've been working 40 hours a week and don't have access to any social networking type sites on my work computer, I've sort of forgotten about this thing. My last entry was practically forever ago.
So, here are some updates on the super exciting fantabulous life of Megan.
First off, I just want to state that, for the first time in a while, I am pretty damn content with my life. Having a boring 40 hour-a-week job can suck in some respects, but I actually don't mind it too much as of yet. It's really nice having a secure, good paying job and not having to worry about having enough money to live comfortably. I also quite like living alone and my apartment is starting to actually feel like a home.
Right now, though, I'm actually not living alone. One of my friends got an internship in Knoxville and has moved in with me until school starts. Although I prefer living alone to having a roommate, I have to say, he's a better roommate than any of my three previous roommates were. He cooks almost every day, does the dishes every day, and, for the most part, cleans up after himself. It's pretty nice having a homecooked meal ready for me when I get home from work. It'll also be nice having someone to help out with rent a bit. (Though I wish he'd help out with the $120 KUB bill, since he's been using the oven almost every day...)
Last Friday Chris and I saw Eddie Izzard at the Ryman. He was, of course, hilarious, and I found his religion-bashing to be particularly amusing. Especially since almost his entire show consisted of it. I'm sure many of the Nashvillians found it not so amusing, which is even funnier to me. The only qualm I had with the show was the seating--the Ryman was formerly a church (which is even more ironic), and instead of theatre seating, it's still got pews. Uncushioned pews, which are not comfortable. I also started getting a lot of sinus pressure halfway through it, and though I loved the show, I was glad when it ended and I was able to get up from my rigid seating and into the fresh air.
I'm working my (hopefully) last day at the Media Center today. It's kind of sad, but oh well. I may or may not work in the Studio some this fall, depending on how much time I have. I'll probably still be working full-time (at least 30 hours) at Elavon, so it's hard to say whether or not I'll be able to fit anything else into my schedule. Anyway, today is my first day of thirteen days in a row of working. I picked up the 4th and the 5th to get some overtime hours. What's even sweeter is that I get holiday pay for the 4th. So, my next paycheck is gonna be pretty awesome. :D
What else is awesome is the Kahlua chocolate chip cheesecake that Chris and I made yesterday. It's really good, and I'll probably try to make some more of it this week, or maybe for my upcoming shindig. I'm trying to give away most of what we made, because I certainly don't need to be eating it. I've been pretty good about working out and eating well this week, and it'd suck to ruin all that by eating tons of cheesecake. It's just soooooo tasty. Thank you, Recipezaar, for the awesome recipe.
Aaaand... that's enough for now.
current mood: chipper
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| Friday, June 6th, 2008
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4:39 pm
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It's been a while since I've written. Since my last entry, I've pretty much gotten completely settled into my apartment, and I've started my new job. It's a phone job and none-too-exciting, but I actually enjoy it, for the most part. It's rather mindless and routine but there's hardly any stress whatsoever and that is very nice for me. I also have some cool coworkers, which is also very nice and I hope I make some new friends, because I direly need some.
I really want to have a thing at my apartment, but it seems like there's something already planned for every single Friday this month, and I don't want to have it on a Saturday because of work the next day. Guess I can do it the Friday after the 4th... but that's so far away! Sigh.
I think the insomnia and teeth-grinding that I was experiencing before was indeed caused by the Zoloft. I lowered the dose and since then, I haven't had any problems. Overall, the meds seem to be working. I haven't had really bad anxiety or any panic attacks since I've been on it and I just generally feel a lot more at ease. It's quite nice not being so tense all the time.
Well, there's a brief update on my ever-so-thrilling life.
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| Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
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8:47 am - Lovely morning...
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So. Tired. ugh. I've been having a lot of trouble with insomnia lately. Last night I barely slept at all. Around 4:30, I said finally fuck it and gave up. I think it may be a side effect of the Zoloft, which sucks, because otherwise it seems to be helping and I haven't had any other weird problems. Hopefully this can be resolved when I go back to the doctor for my checkup.
I'm getting my new bed today, but it looks like I won't really be able to enjoy it. Stupid insomnia. I need to get a frame for it, because I stupidly assumed my universal frame went from a full to a queen without checking it first, and of course it doesn't. Lame.
Something else that's lame is that half of the plants I've been given from my parents are apparently poisonous and could kill my cats. Great. My mom has them in her house and none of her cats have ever had problems, but it'd be just my luck that my cats would eat them and die. I guess I could put the plants up really high?
My goal for today is to pretty much get everything that I can moved into my new place, barring how much it decides to rain. I have until Thursday to get everything out of Shelbourne, but I just want to be done with moving already and have a place that feels like home.
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| Friday, May 16th, 2008
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4:37 pm
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Yard sale-ing was surprisingly a success! At the first place, THERE WAS A VESPA SCOOTER FOR SALE. But, alas, for $3,000... It was sooo pretty but that's way too much. I ended up buying two DDR pads for like $10 or $15, despite not having any of the games (but I figure it'll be fun at parties, so I can invest a bit more for some games), Taboo (the game), and a creamish moonchair or whatever it's called that I need to go pick up tomorrow. The next few places were not quite so good, but at the last place I finally found a dresser. A nice, antique dresser that she was only asking $25 for. Damn. She's holding it for me until tomorrow, so hopefully my dad can help me pick it up later today.
I miss going to yard sales. I think I'll start going to them a lot this summer, since they're a much cheaper way of decorating my apartment than buying things new. I was hoping my mom would pay for my things, but of course she never offered. Lame. I'm saving her a lot of money by getting a used bed, so the least she could do is help me out with other furniture. Oh well.
current mood: good
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| Thursday, May 15th, 2008
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11:45 pm - Big Events
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I guess I should write about the most recent Big Events in my life.
I got the job at Elavon and will start the 27th. I'm a little intimidated, but it should be good. It's a dollar less an hour than I'd thought, but I'll be full-time this summer (with possible overtime) so it doesn't really matter too much. I'll be making well over what I need for rent, which is very comforting. Also, my hours are rather good: Sunday 10:00-6:30 and Monday-Thursday 11:00-7:30. Don't have to get up early, don't have to work late, and I get Friday and Saturday off. Pretty sweet.
And then today, I signed my lease at Chapman Square. I'm still going between excitement and doubt right now. The upside is that it's a 2BR apartment all to myself, for a relatively low price. The downside is that I'll be living alone and probably bored a lot, I'll have to commute to campus (which just gives me more incentive to get a scooter, so maybe that's an upside), and I'm mildly worried about the other residents and noisiness. There seem to be quite a few rednecks, and while I was moving some boxes today, there were cops at the building next to mine... very reassuring. There's also not an A/C in the bedrooms, which sucks not only for the lack of cooling in the rooms but also for the lack of blockage of outside noise. I'm trying to keep my hopes up, but part of me wishes I could've just stayed in Shelbourne...
Although, I'm starting to wonder if the A/C in my room isn't what's causing my horrible sinus problems. I just realized what the black, dirt-looking stuff is that's all over my floor near the A/C--it's mold. Probably deadly, too. Way to go, Shelbourne maintenance, in regularly replacing A/C filters. Of course, what does it matter when there's mold in my kitchen wall, as well? They probably just cover up the mold with paint anytime it starts to show.
current mood: eh
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| Monday, May 12th, 2008
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4:11 pm - w00t!
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Interview went well. I should know tomorrow!! Oh man, I hope they pick me. And, of course, the other job DID call today and asked when I could starting training this week. Uhhh... well, I guess I'll figure that out after tomorrow.
So, this semester I took the worst class in the world. Somehow, I made an A in it (as well as in all my other classes, yay). My final paper was complete shit, or so I thought. But this is what my teacher wrote to me:
I would like to tell you that you did a great job on your paper. It turned out really well: it is a very clear writing, it is structured well, it demonstrates understanding of concepts, it combines material from two classes, you explore a topic of high complexity and present it very well, it shows that you are interested in what you have been doing. And I am extremely glad that it worked for you. Sometimes, it is hard to come to a good topic and it is always difficult to narrow it down. And you did both and the paper looks excellent.
EXCELLENT! Wow. That's a surprise.
Anyway, back to being antsy about getting that job. If I get it, it will make my life immensely easier and more enjoyable. I'll have more than enough to pay for rent, I'll be able to afford internet and perhaps cable, I can buy more crap for my apartment, I can start saving up for Japan, and I CAN GET A SCOOTER. So please, KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.
current mood: jittery!
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| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
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4:20 pm
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I am tired of feeling so incredibly lonely.
Living alone is probably going to be a huge mistake. But unless I decide to room with some complete stranger, I no longer have a choice.
How can people be together for only a few months and feels such a strong connection, when I've been with somebody for over a year and there's nothing there? Is it me? Or is the relationship just worthless? It's starting to take a drain on me.
But at the same time, I don't want to be alone.
current mood: depressed
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| Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
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6:34 pm - STRESS
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Man, this weekend totally blows. Not only is it the weekend in which I must somehow pull 18 or so pages out of my ass for Monday, but I've also developed some sort of stomach problem. I don't know if it's an ulcer or just a virus, but IT SUCKS. Basically, my digestive system doesn't seem to be working properly, and so my stomach hurts like hell every so often. I spent last night at work feeling absolutely miserable, running to the bathroom several times and throwing up twice. I didn't really get anything done on my papers last night because I felt so bad. I also didn't really sleep, probably due both to my stomach pain and stressing out, and woke up sore as fuck.
Today has been better. I'm not in as much pain, and I've managed to get quite a bit of reading/note-taking/writing done for my two smaller papers. I had hoped to finish at least one of them last night, and have both of them done by tonight, but I think I may start focusing on the 10-12 page paper of doom. I feel like I can spit out something quickly for the smaller ones, if need be, but that big one's gonna be a pain in the ass.
In other news, I turned in my application and security deposit for Chapman Square apartments, so I may have a new apartment by the end of next week. I'm feeling a little doubtful, because although $450 for a 2BR is a great deal, I'm disappointed in how... sterile the apartment is. It's got tile floors (which I don't mind too much) and like, concrete block walls. Not all of the walls are like that, though, fortunately. I'm just sad that this apartment has no charm whatsoever; my old one had TONS of charm and I have to admit that even my Shelbourne apartment is very likeable, in ways. But oh well. I'm sure that my interior design skills are good enough to make the place look decent enough. And at least I'll have plenty of room?
I'm still waiting to hear back from some jobs. I had an interview with a housecleaning company on Wednesday and thought that I had a good chance at getting the job, but I figured that I would've heard back from them by now. I also had a phone interview for a kennel attendant position for a vet, but I haven't gotten called back for a real interview yet. And then the place where my friend works still hasn't contacted me, and I was under the impression that I was a shoe-in. I'm starting to get a little freaked out that I'm not going to find anything. I really can't afford to work only at the Studio, even if it's for 40 hours a week. Hopefully I'll get a call back soon...
current mood: worried
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| Thursday, April 24th, 2008
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5:54 pm
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It looks like my excitement over getting the next two years planned out was all for naught.
Unless I am miraculously told something different on Monday when I meet with a financial aid advisor, I can't take a class over the summer. Why? Because you can't get federal loans unless you're taking 6 hours. Okay, so, take 6 hours. But then that puts me at 120 hours at the end of the summer, resulting in no HOPE scholarship for the fall in addition to the spring. There's no way I can afford to lose it for both semesters. So, consequently, I can't do my Senior Project this summer, and I can't get all that loan money that I was planning to save up for Japan.
Things were looking so up and now my fucking world is crashing down on me. This is what happens when I get excited about something. Every. Fucking. Time.
It's completely ridiculous that I'm supposedly considered one of the best and the brightest at this university, yet I'm getting screwed. Forgive me for sounding snobby, but if UT really wanted me (which being accepted into the Chancellor's Honors Program seems to imply), you'd think they'd do something about my situation. So yeah, I guess it's my fault for having so many hours. I guess it's my fault that I didn't fucking know there was even some sort of limitation. I guess it's my fault for not knowing that W's are included in my total achieved hours. I guess it's </i>my</i> fault that I decided to take summer classes to get a headstart, using my own goddamn money and NOT the HOPE.
Why am I getting fucked when all I've done, besides having dropped a few classes, has been being a good student?
I finally decided to stick with fencing and try to be secretary again in the fall, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not sure if I can commit 4-5 hours a week to something that I don't even particularly enjoy when I should probably be working instead, because god knows I'm going to have to earn a lot of money if I want to be able to afford both living comfortably and going to Japan next summer. I don't want to give up Japan, and I'd rather give up something that doesn't really hold much meaning for me. I might lose my social outlet, but so be it. It's not like it's that great right now.
current mood: angry
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