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to · whom · it · may · concern
this is me
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"Be my friend; hold me. Wrap me up."
So, I watched "The Sound of Music" for the first time yesterday. I enjoyed it; although, I really don't care too much for Julia Andrews, especially in this movie.
I also just started Netflix. I have only watched two thus far, "Harold and Maude" and "A Little Romance," but I am going to watch so many more. "Harold and Maude" was seriously such a great movie; it's definately one of my very favourites and I recommend watching it. It's pretty clean, too. There's only a couple of swear words. It's rate PG (for those who care about that stuff.) The next one coming is Diabolique (1955) and I'm looking forward to that.
Recently, I have been getting into movies a lot. Em and I are going to the movies in a little bit. We are probably going to see "Just My Luck" or "RV."
Em, Kandess, and I went to Little Rock, AR to Riverfest. It was pretty fun; we had a good time. We stayed there for a while, ate lunch there, walked around and looked at everything. Em and I went on this simulated Navy deal, it was pretty lame. I thought it was going to be really cool and it just wasn't; I was a bit disappointed. But after we left that we went driving around LR for a bit. We ate dinner at The Purple Cow and it was pretty good. Then we came home. End of Saturday.
OH! Friday I finished "Fur Elise" on the piano--hooray!
Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I hope it was... memorable. :)
Cheers and Love to you. |
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You know my name (look up the number.)
Okay, I just bought 4 CDs for $33.13 with sound and spirit. That's a pretty good deal. It was buy one, get 2 free and unlimited $2.99. And I am (at some point) going to purchase the coldplay X&Y CD and it's a "premium title" which basically means that if I buy it, I get one free. I also received an offer via e-mail that if I buy one Cd, I can get unlimited Cds for $1.99. And that Cd covers the CD I still need to but to fulfill the agreement I made with them a while ago. And when I buy that one CD, I'll have 4 free CDs to buy (it was part of the agreement.) I am excited about my CDs. The ones that I just ordered are: Zero 7 - When it Falls, Sam Philips - A Boot and a Shoe, Laura Viers - Years of Meteors, and Ella Fitzgerald - Oh, Lady, Be Good: Best of Gershwin Songbook. Ella Fitzgerald has such a lovely voice. It's so soothing. I am looking forward to that one probably the most. And as I said earlier, I am going to get Coldplay's latest and along with that I'm getting the Garden State soundtrack. With the other deals, I'll probably get French Kicks - One Time Bells, maybe another Ella Fitzgerald CD, something of Billie Holiday's, some Radiohead, maybe Sonic Youth, perhaps another Laura Viers, or more soundtracks. Who knows really. I don't plan on doing all of this soon. And I'm sure no one is reading this and if anyone is, I'm sure they don't care. I'm learning "Never Alone" by BarlowGirl on the piano and that's coming together pretty well. I have been working on it a for about a fortnight to a month. I taught myself, which I am very proud of.) And in my actual piano lesson, I am going to be learning how to play "Fur Elise" and "Pathétique" and it's not pronounced as pathetic (as I once thought.) So, this weekend is Agape Festival and Six Flags. I could've went, but I pretty much decided not to go. I'm not that bummed about it. Kelly and I (and most likely Kandess) are going to a local concert tomorrow night that the Powerhouse is putting on. Hopefully that will be fun. Okay, I have to go to the bathroom, so I think I'm going to go. And then do some school so I can hurry up and be DONE! Geez. Jesus love you all.
Current Tune: |
Fell in love with the Game - Blindside (I recommend this) | |
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"I want to hold you high and steal your pain."
Ironic, eh? I just heard "Broken." Guess what immediately followed? "True." I don't know why this still effects me. I know it doesn't mean anything. It was all ridiculous prate. I think the devil is just messing with my head. But part of me still thinks that God is giving me that glimmer of hope. I doubt it though. He is in love and is to be married. There is no way; there's just no way. On to better, more truthful things, I read this the other day. "He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."
1 Peter 2:23
As I was reading this, I felt like God was telling me I needed to work on this very thing. When someone insults me, threatens, annoys, and does anything that may trigger me to get angry or does wrong against me, to not do anything for He will judge then fairly for me. It's such a great feeling to know that I don't have to worry about anything. That I can just sit back and know that I am doing the right thing. And in time, depending on if they have a relationship with God, He will talk to them about their own issue. It's so reassuring to know that my God will take care of me. I just need to continue to work on becoming like Him. I love everything about God. I may not understand everything He does and His reasons , but I trust Him.
Sarah's visit was really amazing. I'm am so elated that she was able to come home for a while. I was in need of some Sarah time. She is such an encouragement. She was (and still is) overflowing with joy and love for the Lord. She is beaming and radiant. When she starts conversing about God or sharing something He has shown her or if she is praying, she becomes so passionate and emotional and you can tell that she is becoming whole in Christ and that She carries the Spirit with her. I'm excited for what God is going to with her and to see His plan for her unfold. I wish that I could become like her.
I want so badly to become a photographer. Taking still/candid/life shots. My dream would be to travel and take pictures of the world. I know what camera I am saving up for, too. It's a Nikon D70S. I want to become as good or better than Laura Taylor. Her work is absolutely incredible and awe-inducing and captivating. It's perfection and very inspiring. Take a look. http://www.myspace.com/death_cab_darling
Night, night.
Current Tune: |
Amarantine - Enya | |
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Chapter I
"From the corner of the diva of Persian saddle-bags on which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the burden of a beauty so flame-like as theirs; and now and then the fantastic shadow of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid jade-faced painters of Tokyo who, through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to convey the send of swiftness and motion." I wrote this.
Okay, so maybe I didn't.
Oscar Wilde did, though.
And I'm not sure if anyone else noticed, but this is all one sentence.
Yeah, that's a pretty long sentence.
So this is the book I am beginning to read, "The Picture of Dorian Gray."
I hope that it is a delight to read and interesting.
I got it at our local library; which is not the nicest nor the biggest library ever, but it sure is swimming with boys.
On to bigger, better, more important and more exciting news, I will see my beloved Sarah Elizabeth Gnagey Thursday evening. Hooray, hooray, hooray.
And it's official, the boy that I have been crushing on likes the girl I predicted that he would like. And, of course, she likes him. This news has not been announced to me, but I know that it's the truth. And I am surprisingly, yet not so surprising, okay with this. I think that it validates me to move along and gives me an even better reason not to worry about it and just let God control what happens in my life and who I end up with.
"Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful are the cultivated. For these there is hope."
-- Oscar Wilde
Current condition: |
 quixotic |
Current Tune: |
Day Tripper - The Beatles | |
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I'm tired of not being able to breathe.
So, reality TV has stunk the past few days. Let me elaborate.
On Starting Over, the new girl that came into the house has the most depressing story. Mandisa left on American Idol. This infuriated me. The really cute nerdy couple left on Amazing Race. And tonight, Austin left from Survivor. Stinky poo, stinky poo and more stinky poo. That's all I have to say. Hopefully next week's shows won't be as bad.
As of today, I am completely done with reading "The Chronicles of Narnia." And let me tell you, as ridiculous as it may sound, I was sad finishing it. No more Narnia. And let me tell you this as well, I have BEEN there - or so it seems. The entire series are amazing. A fabulous read, really. I would recommend reading it. It's a lot to read, but it's all worth it. My favourites are as followed: The Magician's Nephew, The Silver Chair and The Last Battle.
I am having sushi tomorrow for dinner and I'm elated and excited about that.
SARAH ELIZABETH GNAGEY IS FLIPPING COMING HOME TO VISIT NEXT WEEK!!!! TAlk about being elated and excited! This, however, go beyond those words; they don't even begin to describe how I feel about her coming home! Anyone who knows much about me knows how much I love and cherish this woman.
I am becoming an addict. Yes, I admit, an addict of Dr. Pepper. I am, at this very moment, drinking it straight from the two liter bottle. I am ashamed - sort of, not.
I got this amazing pillow from our new Bed, Bath and Beyond. It's not down but it "feels like down, sleeps like down." That is their slogan I presume. But it is so comfortable and uhhh it's the best pillow. I am a little to excited to sleep on it tonight.
And I have to say, that in a previous entry, I spoke of a boy. And I have to change everything that I said. I WAS over analyzing. I was being selfish. I wasn't really considering what he may have been feeling or dealing with. I apologize for being inconsiderate.
Put my life on the table. This is me and I'm lost for words. Now is it me who needs to die? Say something then because I'll be dead before dawn if Your voice comes unheard. Now I can't find ground. Fell in with a game but I forgot your name. Go ahead and fight me cause I'm not scared. Though You stayed the same I forgot from where I came.
"Fell in Love with a Game" by Blindside. |
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A year goes by and I can't talk about it.
Okay, so I just recently saw the movie "Inside I'm Dancing." But I think here in the US it's known as "Rory O'Shea Was Here," that's what www.imdb.com tells me. And it was SUCH an amazing movie. Well, at least I thought so. And the guy who plays Rory O'Shea, James McAvoy, is so cute. And I just found out (via www.imdb.com) that he was also Mr Tumnus in "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." And this news fascinates me. I have no idea why; it just does. So with this all said and done, I think I should be heading of to bed. Good night, all.
Jesus loves you. |
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You think I'm so blind.
I've been hearing the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" a lot lately. Just randomly. It makes me think. Speaking of ignorance, it amazes me how people can be [seem] so smart and be so ignorant. In the sense of how people don't believe in God yet are completely brilliant in their profession or studies or whatever. Speaking of the word brilliant, besides it being one of my favorite words, I think it partly describes the sky. On the way home from Memphis last night I was just intently looking at the stars and just thinking how brilliant they were. They are so far from us. They appear so tiny, as specks of sand to our visible eye, but they are magnificent and enormous. It just amazes me. I think sometimes, when I look at the sky, I subconsciously see it as a "snow-globe." I just can't really wholly fathom how the sky just goes on and on and doesn't really have an ending place. It's so awe-inducing. It really is. I can't even convey to you what I am thinking. I also like it word brilliant used in the song "It's a Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door" by Underoath. "Pain has never been so brilliant." My interpretation of this is it's talking about Jesus dying on the cross. I gather this with one of the sentences after it "Now you can walk hand in hand with Him." At times, I do believe I am invisible. At least to this one certain male. He didn't even look at me nor utter a single word to me. Every time I would come around to where he was, he would walk away - I swear. I was not over-analyzing. And he asked a question to a group of us, I answered a few times and he didn't even acknowledge me. It irritates the poo out of me. I really don't get it. It makes me feel that there is something wrong with me. I don't like it when people ignore me; it really hurts me feelings. I can't help but be a little resentful. Although I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose or even realizing that he is doing it. I mean he has never acted that way before. Maybe he just wasn't in a good mood. Or you know, maybe he just hates me. I am listening to "MMMBOP" and it is surprisingly making me feel a little better. It's making me all giddy and upbeat. Can you tell me (which flower's gonna grow) no you can't 'cause you don't know. Can you tell me (is it gonna be a daisy or a rose) you say you can but you don't know."MMMBOP" by Hanson
Current condition: |
Okay I guess | |
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Movies I watched this weekend:
Friday night - "She's the Man" This was such a cute movie. Em and I laughed through most of it. It was just really cute. Amanda Bynes was really good in it. I loved it. Saturday evening - "Pride & Prejudice" [the newest one] This is one of the best movies. It was even better the second time I watched it. And it has seriously one of the best endings. Not in just HOW it ends but the what they say at the end and just, ah, it's so good. Definitely one of my favorites. Saturday late at night/early early morning and Sunday afternoon - "A Goofy Movie" I love this movie. It's so cute and funny. One of my favorites as well. I know it's silly, but I love it. I watched half of it Saturday and the rest Sunday. I didn't watch it twice. This afternoon - "Garden State" This movie is really cute, too. It has some cussing in it and this one part that's pretty dirty and made me pretty uncomfortable, but I love Natalie Portman and she was so adorable in it. Tonight - "Cow Belles" [A Disney Channel original movie] It was really cute, too. I love Aly and AJ; I think that they are just so adorable. And I foind out that AJ's (the one that's NOT on Phil of the Future) real name is Amanda. :] This has been a pretty good weekend. I had Lazzri's for lunch Friday. Then that night I went out to eat with my parents. I haven't done that in a while. Then I went later to Em's house and then we went to see "She's the Man." I spent the night at her house and we got up sort of early the next morning and went to Wal-Mart (on Highland) to sell "baked goods" or to take donations for our youth group. It was so stinking cold, too. Em and I left after being out there about 2 1/2 hours. We went to El Acapulco(sp?) for lunch, Kelly met us up there. Then I went to Em's house and we watched Pride & Prejudice. Well, we tried to, but we both fell asleep and took a much need 2 - 2 1/1 hour nap. We woke up and THEN we watched the movie. Then a couple of hours later I took Em to her band practice for church. I went home, did a lot of nothing really. I went to Wal-Mart with my mom and on the way home I heard the song "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees. I remembered that it was on the movie "A Goofy Movie." So I decided that when I got home I would watch it, so I did. But then about 12 AM or so John Easley calls me and asks if he could come see me. I asked my mom if that was okay, and she said it was so he came over. It had been a while since the last time we saw each other, so it was really good to see him. We just sat outside in his car and talked for a while. It was really nice. I didn't stay out there too long because I didn't want to be up so late that I would miss Sunday school again. It had been about 2 months since the last time I went and Em was teaching so I wanted to make sure I was there. And praise the Lord I did get up and go to Sunday school today. After church I came home and really didn't do much of anything. I finished up "A Goofy Movie" and watched an episode of "Starting Over" that I missed from Friday. Then I watched "Garden State" and a little bit of "Titanic." I was getting sleepy so I went into the den and took a nap. I haven't done much since then. Oh yes, I talked to Sarah this morning! She called me as I was getting ready for church. She had been doing hardcore fasting this weekend where you don't talk to anybody, it's just you and God getting intimate and growing together. She said that it was so amazing. And she was just going on and on about the desires of her heart and where she wants to be with God and how she wants to just be so completely in love with Him and things like that. It was completely encouraging. I cannot wait for her to come home and shake me and lift me up. She is such an amazing person. She becomes more and more amazing ever ytime I talk to her. This Wednesday I am going with Kelly to Memphis to see ETD do a concert at church. This is a special concert because they will be leading praise and worship beforehand and later they will do their set of songs. I'm excited. I bet it's going to be so good; I hope so anyways. And I really hope that Em gets to go with us. I really want her to, it was just make it that much better. So, I guess I shall be getting off of this dreadfully addicting thing. "Gravity gets to me; holds me there without release. Now's the time to cut the line. Cross my heart, I realize nights are long and hope is gone. God help me make it home.
These broken animals; useless as they are."
"By All Accounts (Today Was A Disaster)" by Emery |
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Water of the Word - Shane & Shane
Wash my in the water of the Word.
I lay me on the altar of Your will.
Present me blameless without blemish, Holy Bride.
White, Lord, purify Your bride.
We are Yours, give us hearts of servants. |
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We were walking downtown, yeah.
okay, so I gave this list of songs to one of my best of friends upon her request. i thought I would share it with EVERYONE because it's such a good list of songs for you to listen to. Seriously, I highly recommend all of these songs. You could consider these to go along side of the songs that make me super happy. Speaking of which, you should go back quite a few entries and look at them - there are two entries. I tell you all, you will be happy you listened to them. And if you're not, then that's you loss and you really didn't loose anything. Well, I hope you enjoy these songs as much as I do. I realize i talk about music and music-related subjects a lot. :] Have a good day.
I am for you (Don't give up) - Waking Ashland
Sing Me To Sleep - Waking Ashland
Wonderwall - Ryan Adams <3333333
Blackbird - The Beatles <3333
Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
Your Song - Elton John <3333
It Had To Be You - Frank Sinatra
I'm In The Mood For Love - Frank Sinatra
Let It Be - The Beatles
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
A Couple Dreams - Benjamin Del Shreve <3333333
You Have My Attention - Copeland
Don't Slow Down - Copeland
Damien Rice Songs <3
I concur with monica about Bright Eyes.
Look What You've Done - Jet
Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jeff Buckley
Work - Jimmy Eat World
23 - Jimmy Eat World [this is a beautiful song]
The Wonder Years Theme Song by Joe Crocker
Smile, You've Won - Lydia
It's In Your blood - Lydia
They Cannot Let it Expand - Midlake
Anabel - Midlake
Pop Music For The Future - Say Hi To You Mom <3333
Primitive (The Way I Treat You) - Ambulence LTD
Warning Sign - Coldplay
Will I wake to find you waiting by my bedside? Will I wake to find you waiting by my side?
-- Sleep by Copeland <33333 |
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I just laughed and laughed.
4 High School friends meet at their High School Reuion. The fourth High school guy goes to bathroom and the others start to talk about their sons..... . Highschool Guy 1: You know my son? I'm so proud of him 'cause he was so successful. He became so rich that he gave one of his best friends a 2-million dollar Mansion for free! . Highschool Guy 2: Really? My son's made me proud too. He's become so rich from acting and gave his closest friend 2 free Hummer H2's. . Highschool Guy 3: Even my son got rich. He won the 8 million-dollar Lotto and he bought his friend a private yacht and jet. . ---The fourth Highschool Guy comes back from the bathroom and overhears them talking about their sons. So he began to tell them about his son.--- . Highschool Guy 4: Yeah, well, my son hasn't been as successful like your sons have. He's gay and works at a gay stripping joint for a living. . Highschool Guy 1: What a shame. . Highschool Guy 4: No, not really. He lives in a 2-million dollar mansion, owns his own jet and yacht, and owns 2 Hummer H2's which were all given to him by 3 of his Ex-boyfriends Broadway is dark tonight
Current Tune: |
AMERICAN STINKING IDOL! | |
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Ain't it pretty the way it all streaks together at night.
Some pictures of the office [where I work.] Go here. http://piink-shiimmer.livejournal.com/What an easy way to break the ice.. - The Impact Of Reason by UnderOATH |
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These plates that I'm spinning somehow smash on the ground make a loud crashing sound
I wonder what everyone, boy and girl - mainly boy, would look like if there was not a "scene" or "emo" style. Would they still have long hair? Would it be short and blonde? Would they still wear girl pants? I'm trying to say that I am against these styles, but I just wonder what they would all look like. I mean is it really them? It's okay of they just like the look, I have no problem with that. I just wonder. And I wonder how scene and emo got started. Who started it and how did it spread around so fast. It's everywhere. I personally think it's a hott look. I guess only if the guy is good-looking. I also wonder what these people will do when this phase passes. Will it still be cool to wear those clothes and look that way or will they change when what's "in" in society changes. I think most will. I mean, you can't be "hardcore" forever. You have to change at some point. When the day is coming, I'm really not too sure. I'm just anxious to see what everyone will do and what their style will be. I still really want to know what they would look like now if this style never came about. That was a redundant sentence, but I wanted to let you know that that was my main curiosity. Jesus loves you. "It comes around; it comes around; it comes around."
-Song For Myla Goldberg by The Decemberists. |
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We walk alone
I just watched Underoath's latest video journal. There was a lot more of Spencer in it. :D He is an absolute doll. He makes me so happy and chipper. I'm so lame. But he is so cute. Oh, I just want to hug him and squeeze his little stomach. You see, I have this thing for tiny stomachs and waists. :P For a real update, I went to two shows this weekend. Friday I went with Kelly and Stuart to Blytheville to a benefit concert to raise money for a 16 year old boy who has brain cancer. It turned out well. Tragic Stories End, Erasing the Disguise, Embers Into Flames and a few other bands that I don't know the name of played that show. It was really good and fun. Kelly, Stuart and I were playing this game and we all just started laughing so hard that we were all crying. That was fun, I love laughing, especially when something is REALLY funny and then you start crying and it's hard to stop laughing. Yes. Anyway, we got home late that night. Kelly, Kandass and I went to see Gazer and EtD play at the Powerhouse. EtD headlined, I was so happy for that. :] They did really good. They had a new song and it was great; it's a fun song. I like their new intro song. It's simply beautiful. I don't know if you ever hear music that just touches your soul and stirs up emotions inside of you and you well up inside and you just want to dance or scream or get really excited or cry, but that's the effect their intro song has on me. It may seem strange, but I can't help it. After the show was over we went to McDonald's with them and a bunch of other people. When we got there Kandass went outside - she was acting really sad and distant all night - but Kelly and I sat down, but we were sitting by ourselves at first and again, we felt like loners, but then Josh Costner came and sat with us. He is nice and kind and friendly. He is in Tragic Stories End, but he is one of those people you can just be yourself around when you first meet him. At least for me. Anyway, after everyone ate, we just kind of mingled, I guess mainly with Brandon, but not just him. That's good though. I'm just a shy person and I would rather have people come and talk to me, but I guess with this crowd if your like that they'll think you are stuck-up or something. I don't know. I think I over analyze too much. And I expect people to think the worst of me. I also think that I get on people's nerves and I don't want to do that. I don't want to annoy anyone by going up and talking to them, that's just me though. I guess I should get over that. I mean, what if other people are like me and likes for people to come up to them. I'm really not too sure. I wish I knew what people were thinking. If I could have three super powers, I would like to selectively read people's thoughts, be invisible and fly. Yep, if only it were attainable or even remotely possible. Sometimes I think that I am invisible, to people. One time recently I was sitting alone and seriously no one was coming to talk to me and I thought ot myself, "I think I'm invisible," and two seconds later "Daniel" came up and talked to me. It wasn't for long, but still yet. I think God did that just for me. Jesus loves you
Current Tune: |
California - Copeland <333 I love them. | |
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Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Okay, so I was reading one of my friends livejournal entries and she mentioned the phrase "i love you" and she expressed her thoughts about this phrase. The reminded me of all what I have been thinking about it lately and how I was going to write about it, but, obviously, I forgot. So recently I have been noticing how easily people throw around and take advantage of the phrase "I love you." I have been noticing people say it all of the time. People say it nonchalantly, forgetting what it means and how intense those words really are. I am definitely including among the "people" I am speaking of. However, I have realized how much couples who probably are not really in love say it to each other. Two in particular that I have in my mind. They haven't even been dating a month I would say and they all use the words "I love you" to each other. I'm not saying that they can't be in love, who am I to judge that, but from experience, relationships with the opposite sex create a vulnerable environment and stirs up emotions that may FEEL like love, but really aren't. It makes me very skeptical. I know I have thought I was in love with someone before. I have even said that to them, but not for long because I really wasn't comfortable saying and regretted saying it in the first place because I knew that I had took it for granted. Anyway, I just wish people wouldn't throw it around so much. I wish that we only said it when we meant it. And I wish that it was easier to tell whether or not we were actually in love. One thing is for sure about love, I most certainly love God. And He most certainly loves you.
Current Tune: |
Mr. Pine - Eisley | |
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Yeah, so guess you DID NOT win on Project Runway? Yep, Daniel stinking Vosovic. Thhhppbppb to that. I was and still am so ticked. I love Daniel. I wanted him to win so freaking bad. His clothes were better - hands down. I would wear his line, I wouldn't wear most of Chloe's (she is the one who won.) I just CANNOT believe that. Ugh. I can't go on anymore or I'll explode. I have no luck with reality TV. Hardly EVER does the person I want to win, win. Except Survivor. I think most of the people I want to win on the show, do. But American Idol - NOPE. Second season I wanted Clay to win SO BADLY. I cannot convey to you how badly I wanted him to win. And I was absolutely CERTAIN that he would win, and as you know, he didn't. Yes, I realize that it has been several years since then, but it still bothers me. I know, it's childish, but I'm still not over it. Oh well, though, because he certainly was more popular and more successful that Reuben was. Mmmmhmm. Third season, I wanted Diana to win, and Fantasia did. Last year I wanted Bo to win, Carrie did. Humph. There are many more examples, but I shall not continue.
Moving on now. At work today, I worked the front - that is usually Michelle's job - but Lydia (the office manager) wanted me to work the front just to get more comfortable because Michelle is going to be off two days next week and I'll have to do her job then. Anyway, I got really bored because I don't ever have much to do while I'm up there. So, I made these lists of what I wish, what I want to do before I die and what I want to save my money for. I'm such a nerd. And lame.
As the loyal Survivor fan that I am, I must go and pay my dues to watching this show intently and be completely focused. Okay, that was a little dramatic. I am going to go now; I'm at a loss for words.
Hey, that's an Underoath song - "The Impact of Reason." I love that song.
Jesus loves you. |
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The finale of Project Runway is on tomorrow night. Oh my heck. I am so excited. I really want Daniel Vosovic to win. Although, as of right now it doesn't seem that his designs are winning material. Santino's garments are stunning - I think - but I just absolutely love Daniel Vosovic. If I had one wish, it would be to meet him, turn him into a straight, godly man and then marry him. Woosh, what a challenge that would be. Well, I do wish that he wasn't gay. Still yet, I love him and I want him to win. I hope that he just pleasantly surprises all of us and blows the judges away. I was doing some filing today at work, and I came across a file and the patient's name was Eric Matthews. You know, like from Boy Meets World? I found this quite amusing and humourous. A new patient came in to the office today. As she was waiting, I noticed that she was reading her Bible. And I also happened to notice that the Bible was kind of wore out. I assumed from all of this that she used it a lot. This was some what of an encouragement to me. Just that is a walking testimony and example. Sarah called me a little bit ago. She is the one in Texas. I love it that she is there. Not in the sense that I want her gone, but she is getting spiritually fed there and is growing with the Lord. I admire here more than she or anyone else knows. She said a lot of substantial and useful - for lack of better word - advice and encouragements to me tonight. She was inquiring about my relationship with God and how my "quiet times" were going. I told her that they weren't consistent. I have rarely done them since she has left. I didn't tell her that, I just now realized it. Anyway, our conversation was more in depth. She did most of the talking. She prayed, too; and it was such an amazing, passionate pray. I feel at the point I am right now, that I am in no was deserving of her love and friendship. I feel that she deserves better. She has been growing with the Lord and is continuing to pour out His love and learn and apply the things He is constantly showing her. She is digging deep into the Word and strenghening her relationship with him and seeking for Him to be her first love. I am know where near the place that she is at. I don't want to be that person who is bringing her down. I don't think that I will, I don't think I'm that far off, but I don't want to be a hindrance to her in any way. I don't want to get in her way. I'm rambling about things that just aren't true. If she knew I was saying all of this she would tell me to live in truth. And so I must do that now. Anyway, I don't want to be this way anymore. I feel as if for the past couple of weeks I have just been spiritually numb or exhausted or something. It's an inexplicable feeling. It's seems like I hear the words of the song or the preacher or the wisdom and I just don't take hold of and recognize it and realize how vital all of this is for me. I love God, it's just right now I don't feel like doing anything about strengthening my relationship with Him. I have no desire. It's a strange feeling and I hate it. It's not the first time I have had it either. I know that all I have to do is begin to read the word or pray, whatever it may be, and I will crave it and long for it like I should. I must change now. It's a critical time in my life, in the world. The more I wait, the harder it will be later. Sarah pointed this out to me, and it's true. I need to become the woman God wants me to be. I need to focus on that and only that. I need for God to cleanse me and purify me. I need Him to mold me and make me into His beautiful design, so that I can be used to the fullest. I so badly wish that Sarah was here. There is no one that I know that is quite like this young woman. She keeps me more encouraged and more into Jesus than anyone I have ever known. Even before she went to the Honour Academy. She's always asking about how my relationship with God was and making sure that I am always on track and focused on eternity. That's always her main concern. I just wish she was here more than any could possibly know. Nobody has ever cared about my spiritual life - or at least shown it - as much as her. I am getting tired. I suppose I shall lay in bed and read for a bit. And then sleep. My mom is making me this coffee in the morning that smells oh so delightful. I am a little too excited to get up and drink it than I should be. Jesus loves you.
Current Tune: |
You Have My Attention - Copeland (Listen to this song) | |
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Let's show them how to live.
So last night while we were at IHOP, Emily and I were sitting in the very first waiting room and she was laying down and her head was on my lap. We were waiting for Kelly to pay so that we could leave. Well, these two guys come in and see us and said something like, "Have you two been here long?" And I can't remember what Emily said to that, but she shot up and said, "We're not lesbians!" and this one guy says. "Hey, that's cool, we like lesbians." I was shocked; I could not believe that she said that. It WAS around 1:40 AM, but still, my jaw just dropped; it was hilarious. I just had to put this in here so that whenever I look back on these entries, I will always remember this. It was so humorous.
Current Tune: |
Second Place Victory - This Day and Age | |
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All of us are searching for an open arm.
I went to Greekstock Friday. Kelly went with me and her friend Lindsay, and later ashley, came, too. It was pretty fun. Besides the fact that I was freezing my tush off the whole night. Thankfully, I went and got my gloves and then later on that night went home and got a couple of blankets for Kelly and I. I was still freezing even with a blanket on. But it was all worth it to see Kingsdown. They were just simply amazing, awe-inspiring, really. EtD played early that day, as well. They we fantastic. They have this new intro that's just beautiful. Last night I went to a KD and The Wedding concert at City Youth. Paula and Em went with me. It was really fun. I basically went only to see Kingsdown, again. I can't ever get tired of them. They put on THE best shows - in my opinion. They have new song that are marvelous and I am excited for them to start recording so they can put out a full album. God has big plans for these fellows and I can't wait to see what they are. Anywho, after I took Paula home, a bunch of us went to IHOP - the place where bunnies go, haha (Em said that last night.) We stayed there for a while. But it was fun. I ended up staying the night with Em because I didn't want to drive home so late. We got to her house about 2 AM. But, I have to go to church, that's why I am up so early now and not sleeping. Hopefully I will get a nap in. I am going to go and lay down or watch TV or do both until it's time for me to go. Jesus loves you.
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 sleepy | |
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Myspace is gay.
I am going to Greekstock and I'm not going alone. This elates and excites me. Kelly is going with me and I think Em is, too. She has to work, but not until 7 and then she'll come up after work I do believe. Work was good. I wasn't able to go to lunch with all of them - again. I choose not to though so that I can get more school in. But Dr. Grubbs got there when I did and he gave me his left-over sushi. They all went to Fugi's, the Japanese Steakhouse. It was the second time I ever ate sushi and it was better than the first. I think because I didn't eat it with soy sauce. I don't like it much. But the sushi was so good. Work was good. When I got there it seemed like it was really bust for the first twenty minutes, but then after that it was a pretty slow day. That's a praise. I'm to the point now where I don't have to work the front whenever I'm done with all of my "duties" so I just sat in the chair up front and talked to my Aunt Michelle for about an hour of the day. It was just a really good day. Yesterday I was just so tired and I thought I was going to pass out. But today was different, I was more energetic which makes everything easier when you're not sleepy. Oh Henry, thought it was sort of hot today. I had to go to the bank to make a deposit - that's one of my "duties" - and I got in my car and it was HOT. I was so irritated because I loathe the hot weather and I just want nice spring, cool weather. I don't want to go straight to summer. And I'm not ready to give up wearing my sweaters yet. I love sweaters. :( I seriously love Project Runway. It is one of my new favourite shows. And I think that fact that I think Daniel Vosovic is absolutely gorgeous and adorable adds to that, too. But I seriously do, I wish that I could turn him into a straight man and marry him. It was really sad, too, because he said that his family were strong Christians. That bummed me out. Oh well though. I still love him. And I'm rooting for him. And not just because he is good-looking, but because he is my favourite designer. He HAS won the most challenges, you know. Anyway, I need to go to praise band practice. I don't know why, but I don't really like singing as much as I used to. It's just not a really fun thing for me anymore. It's weird. But oh well, we'll see.
Current Tune: |
Beauty in the Breakdown - The Scene Aesthetic (in my head) | |
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