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..emily celeste..

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surgery.[number2] [10.07.08]
meet the surgeon tomorrow.
i'm fucking nervous.
i know it's a much smaller surgery, but
if something goes wrong they may have to
convert to an open operation
and i can't do 6 more weeks of nothing.
i can't sleep in the hospital by myself every night
for a freaking week.
i can't miss 6 weeks of work again.

i'm scared to death.
i really really am.
there is so much that could go wrong.
and it all could go right.
and i'm terrified.

:(
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[06.23.08]
CT scan #2!

let's hope they find out this time, ugh.
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endings. [06.11.08]
i'm happy and i'm sad.
things are different.
you are different.
i am different.

things change.
i'm gonna go on holding onto something
that doesn't have a fighting chance.

we don't deserve a last chance.
and i'm not gonna apologize for that.
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after all that i told you, [05.30.08]
i wrote you a letter,
and then found out what you said.


and now my letter means nothing,
because it means everything meant nothing.


so i guess i just won't give you the letter.
 

love.

never forget your promises.
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don't bother. [05.13.08]
i may love the world,
but baby, i don't love you.


no longer you can't keep 'em round.
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this is life. [05.10.08]
the world is really all in love.


i am really in love with the world. :)
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update, 4/4 [12.09.07]
Purdue
Ball State[check]
Butler
Hanover[check]
Manchester[check]
Franklin
TriState[check]
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[11.11.07]
we know how to have a good time. :)


love.
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[10.08.07]
i know others have it worse. but frankly, today i couldn't care less.

i hate it here and i can't wait to leave. i don't care what you think of me. not anymore.

none of it matters anymore.
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no talk. [08.04.07]
ugh.
i hate that.






in other news, aaron and i leave saturday!(next). i'm so excited.
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