__fadingfate @ 2005-12-27T20:14:00

2005-12-28T01:14:58Z

boy & i broke up :[

__fadingfate @ 2005-12-23T16:23:00

2005-12-23T21:24:16Z

RECKLESS & PAINFUL

times are rough.
life is poop

__fadingfate @ 2005-11-15T19:50:00

2005-11-16T01:19:22Z

"i wonder why"

i wonder why im still alive,
and living one big lie?

... what is like to seriously hurt. && when the tears just flow. well tonight really sucks. like it couldnt be any worse. i dont know what im supposed to do? in reality im just a little girl, and i know i dont deserve this.

jennifer: hey justine if you want i can pick you up from julies house.
justine: yeah please that would be wonderful im kinda upset latly and i definatly need to talk to you about some stuff anyways... you know we could like go out for something to eat or whatever?
jennifer: (picks me up from julies) so whats going on hun?
justine: well i need to talk to you about christian, and life. im pretty much really upset right now about alot of stuff. ( then we talk ) ( we go to wendys)

jennifer: alrighty girl whats bothering you.
justine: well just life. boys, family, friends, school. & it seems like nobody wants to make things any easier. im always struggling with something. switching school was horrible, now im really trying to catch up && i hate school. im just hoping the more classes i take over the summer then the sooner i can get out. family sucks, all everyone does is argue. im always stuck at home with nothing to do except listen to mom talk crap about how unhappy she is and how nobody keeps up their end of the bargin. friends, i dont know why but i have nobody to take my anger out on but my friends. and i feel guilty about it but, its just the way things seem to happen?
jennifer: im so sorry hunny, really i am. i always talk about you, with stephanie and everything. im sorry you have to stay at home all the time. im sorry you have to go through all this stuff all the time.
justine: well its not like theres anything i can do about it. i mean, its just the way its going to have to be. if i take enough summer classes then ill definatly be able to leave home for college early. i need to get out, i need to get away. i dont understand things anymore? its so horrible.
jennifer: you know you can really only do so much.
justine: i just got my report card, its not that great but i have a 3.7 gpa, i could be doing a little better. i got 4 a's and 2 b's. i can do better. i can have all a's. and im going to make it.
jennifer: i know, im just so sorry you have to stay home. really, i know you need time off once in awhile. you really work so hard. and if you ever just need to run away, please promise you will come to me.
justine: ha! me runaway?.. so mom can beat me and brake my legs? pft.. yeah right id rather not. naw, i can make it. ill be alright. but youre right, sometimes i just need a little time off.

well i guess im just a horrible child. i dont know. but im really stressed now and its good sometiems to have someebody to talk to other then the ones ou are stuck with daily that give you the i dont know what to say.... maybe someone who has been there before or something. im not sure but just someone. i know somebody out there knows where im coming from. someone that could really help me understand whats wrong. help me realize that, things will all work out and i will smile soon. anyways, i guess thats it for today and ill be back tomorrow, hopefully things go a little bit better. i dont know?

(ps).. yeah julie you are one of the ones i know i end up taking my anger out on. and its not your fault. sometimes i just cant hold it in

__fadingfate @ 2005-11-14T20:15:00

2005-11-15T01:15:53Z

snapyofingers, nig

WISH ME LUCKK!!!

__fadingfate @ 2005-11-14T19:20:00

2005-11-15T00:30:07Z

well im an idiot. && i can never pick between boys. my mom is being a meany even though shes still the best mom ever. okay im still massivly in love with andy? and theres this new boy i like too?.. plu sim totaly crushing on the best friend? UGH. stressing.

its life i guess

2005-10-12T16:02:45Z

school is starting to get really intenses. things just keep getting hard and i miss my old friends more everyday. but i guess its just the fact that... people make mistakes. and i guess i need to learn from them? i know i would never do something soo stupid again;; but im really stressed out about this.

So Simple...

2005-09-23T15:39:02Z

Sometimes Things Just Feel So Much
Better... In Black And White.

Life Is Fading

One Day At A Time