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i was hoping i could tell you this with two feet on the ground.

...i'm not very stable right now.

Created on 2005-03-28 15:03:54 (#6604624), last updated 2006-04-10

186 comments received, 207 comments posted

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143 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	autumn
Birthdate:	11-01
Location:	San Antonio, Texas, United States
Website:	MySpaceYourSpace

Bio

"I remembered the pain he had put me through so long ago. I remember finding out from our
best friend that he had another girlfriend besides me. I don't think i had ever felt so
sick. And i was heartbroken for so long. This boy, this boy that i thought was potentional
was really some two faced asshole who really only cared about how many girls he could get.
And then he told me for the first time ever that he was in love with me. We were so young.
But i knew it was love. I knew it wasn't the high school kind of relationship where you really
can't feel how strong the passion is. Finally, he saw me as the girl i wanted him to. Finally
he had wanted me. Or at least i thought so until i found out about that stupid dare Natalie
had made. He didn't have to go along with it but he did anyway. And i always wondered why.
He never gave me an answer.
Three years on and off is a really long time. 1,095 days. How can somebody be with someone
for so long and not get tired of them? How could they wake up everyday thinking about the
same person? We were only thirteen when we first met. We were only thirteen when we first
started dating.
I had figured it out. I was happy with him. I was happy, happy, happy.
The only problem was that i guess he wasn't, especially if he had to find his happiness
somewhere else with someone else.
We had so much drama and so much of this wasn't worth it. So much of it wasn't worth saving
at all.
But still, i hung on to the thought of us for dear life because i knew that if i let go i
would be crossing into uncharted territory. Parker was a serious part of my life for three
years. What was i supposed to do when he was gone?
That was something i had never really contemplated & the after-break up wasn't a very good time to
start.
The passenger door slammed and i glanced to my right.
Parker had joined me.
We sat there for another hour staring into nothing.
Thinking.
Wondering.
Where do we go from here?"

you & i collide.

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