He told her she had a p h o t o g r a p h i c memory.

I am alive, for those who didn't know.  I have several current "places of temporary residence."  These include, but are not limited to:

Bethlehem, PA
Hillsborough, NJ
The entire Pioneer Valley, MA
Norwich, VT
New York, NY
My ever-loving, trustworthy, best companion of a white Jetta

I've been spending the summer "doing thesis research and photographing."  Which is the easy explanation.  The more complicated explanation will hopefully... well.. be written as my final thesis.  In any event, it's been a productive and happy summer.  I am traveling, loving, exploring, and generally dripping with happiness.  I'm excited to go back to Hampshire and live a similar lifestyle, compromising several beds, makeshift beds, floors and couches.  Sooner or later, seriously, I'll get my own place, post-graduation.  Home is a good thing.

Thesis blog is onbethlehem.blogspot.com - that's the other side of this whole charade.
 

2009.
I have yet to come up with any resolutions, so I resolve to create a few.  I've been very happy lately, even though my situations keep changing (always) between school and New Jersey and New York and a million places in between.  Winter break has treated me well enough.  I have a Hassie waiting for me in Quincy, Mass.  Also, due to this, I am flat broke.
I am anxiously waiting spring semester.  So much for having it be relatively relaxing.  I will be taking social theory/cultural sociology classes at Amherst, Smith, and Mount Holyoke.  Only photo at Hampshire.  And then teaching and an internship at the Advocate.  Goodbye, life!
I am chilly and awaiting a morning train into New York. 
I am also surprised that I still update this, rarely, if at all.
xoxo
 

life in the posthuman condition!

I've forgotten about this thing for a while.
My heat is on with the windows open - my room has the most wonderful cross breeze and lofted ceiling this year.  It's cozy.
I am trying to write a paper on biopolitics and the deployment of sexuality via Foucault, but it is tiresome.  My thoughts are leaking out of my ears along with what I'd like to think of as my conscious sanity.  I have been working hard and playing hard.  Whiskey and apple cider and social theory and alternative process printing.  I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about the implications of post-structuarlist theory.  Doesn't this all sound so pretentious?  It's absolutely mind boggling. 
Tomorrow is Halloween.  I will be dressing up as zombie Amelia Earhart.  If I can get through this paper tonight and finish up some reading, I know this weekend will be fantastic.  It's just a matter of getting there.
Things are generally good.  Late night snuggles with that cross-breeze and Massachusetts autumn air.  I like it.
 

My room echoes.
I've been done with classes for a bit less than two weeks.  It's summer when I drive with the windows down - the Valley is incomprehensibly beautiful this time of year... It's magic that I don't drive off the road just looking at it all.  Well - sometimes.  Intentionally.  Aqua Vitae Road.
Commencement is in two days, then I'm leaving for Rhode Island.  Then back here... then New York, Cape Cod, Boston.  And then New Jersey once June hits.
I've been having a fabulous end of the semester... my mom's here now, helping me pack up.  Bocce ball, picnics, the  Connecticut River, whiskey, and late nights.  New shoes, cutoffs, cigarettes, bike rides.  I'm dreading going to Hillsborough.  Quite the turn around from this time last year when the first person moved off of my hall, and I wanted to be him. 
I need a job for the summer, but that's all that really worries me.  Kind of a big worry, but eh.
And I'm an aunt.
Kendall Viola.  Nord.  Kenny Nord?  KV?  My brother's a dad.
He told me on the phone that I'd "freak out" when I saw her.  We'll see.
I can't sleep.  The overhead lights in this room are horrible, but it's all I have since I packed up my lamps.
Bourbon bourbon bourbon.
Emph.

Arrrghh!
Spring fever is catching up to me, and all I can think about is the prospect of having the perfect summer.  I'm supposed to hear back from Conde Nast sometime this week or next week about the internship - I almost hate myself for putting such faith into this opportunity.  5700 people applied for 85 positions... I'm a nutcase. 
School's been a weird flurry of stress and dissatisfaction.  I'm not particularly motivated to do anything but photo right now - 5 rolls from spring break, and I'll be printing late into the night tonight.  Skipping my Smith class because it's a crock and I'd like to go to the SOURCE faculty panel discussion... hrmmphh.
I baked cakes with Elle last night and spend my free time looking at apartments on Craigslist as opposed to doing readings for class.  I ought to fix up my priorities - or at least, I need to find out that I didn't get this internship so I can get onto being neurotic about other things.

Thood for Fought/Thought for Food/Food for Thought:

I'm in the library, feeling incapable of getting this Sociology paper done.  To my left, somebody wrote "Heart Body Mind" in pencil on the wall.  I lean over a bit to read the rest of it, obscured by my desk.   It then turns into
Heart Body Mind ]-- contradiction and pain

And to think I figured I would be reading somebody's happy thoughts.
Ughhhhhh, so tired!

Things are hectic.  Spring semester is proving to be the most relentlessly busy period of time I have ever experienced.  Four classes: Photo 2, Critical Ethnography, Sociology, Crafting Creative Non Fiction.  I'm working on a grant through (and I guess, for) the Writing Center.  I'm working on a sheep farm about three days a week.  And I think I'm getting my old babysitting job back from fall semester.  Oh, and I'm trying to get my Division two passed.  And have a social life and sleep schedule.  It's gotten to the point where I actually have to plan out my day, hourly.  I have a favorite little couch on the first floor of the library.  It's gray, seats one, and sometimes I think I'm the only one to ever use it.
On a good note, we're learning color photography this semester.  I went out and bought some Kodak 400 NP 120 film and some color paper.  I think I'll be doing a lot of medium format.
And I'm learning guitar.  It's a slow and steady progression, but I'm actually not half bad.  Also, for whatever reason, this has helped me be not so tone deaf when singing. 
I don't really use livejournal much anymore.  Nor have I really been keeping up with my hand written journal, which is kind of a shame.  Too busy documenting everybody else's lives but my own.  Ah well.

it will be a grand weekend!

[knocking on my door]
A: Hey, are you in there?  I have a question.
F: [opening door] Hey, what's -- OH MY GOD
[falls to floor, laughing, Andy stands naked in front of me]
A: Hey, can I borrow some sugar?  Never, never pick dare.  But do you have sugar?
[Hoard of people come around corner, laughing.  Dan is doubled over, giggling, and Josh jumps out of the bathroom with a flourish.]

So I'm here for Janterm.  My photography class is thought provoking and just straight forward awesome.  I am excited.
I think it'll be a pretty productive month.
It's definitely been interesting, and I've only been back at Hampshire for a bit over 24 hours.

home.
I started working at Macy's again.  My schedule does not permit me to be outside during any daylight, save my walks in between car and house/DD/Macy's.  It gives me a headache, really.  I'm stuck in a weird stagnant place here, and I hate it.  I just hope I can get through the holiday season (which has ceased to feel very festive anymore).  This year, I've begun to appreciate school much more than home.  Or Hillsborough.  I consider Amherst to be my 'home' now, even though I'm aware that it's temporary.  Home is in certain people whom I dearly miss right now, so it's never really a tangible place.  It's a smattering all over this fucking country, I suppose.  I should go to sleep.  rrrrgh.

Two more weeks until the semester ends - I'm back in the library, third floor, trying to work on finals.  Write up a solid, final, division two contract.
Thanksgiving break was fine.  I saw all of the people I wanted to see, awkwardly ran into a few whom I did not.  Spent some time in New York, my brother's having a kid, and I'm going to be an aunt.  What?

I drove over to Smith today to talk to the comparative lit/English department head.  Compared to Hampshire, the brief meeting was incredibly collegiate feeling - it reminded me of something out of Mona Lisa Smile.  She has quite a charming office in one of the oldest buildings on campus.  Reminded me of an academic grandmother - very nice and helpful.  And I walked out of there, having handed in my writing sample, feeling very accomplished.  That never happens at Hampshire... oh well.

I guess all that matters is that I'm alive, for now.  I remember being very relaxed this time last year - don't know how I managed that.  Oh well.
Back at it.

 

I'll be home this weekend - shrug.

Things have been good, I think.  My division two proposal is in, sort of.  I may or may not stick around for Hampshire Halloween, which is happening on Friday.  I can't find any of my 120 film... new or developed.  Problematic.
The weather has been beautiful - I flew in a plane the other day, right into the sunset.  Literally.  Flying is a lovely release, yet thankfully logical.  I got to fly for a little while too.  Apparently when making turns, you have to pull the plane upwards so as to not lose too much altitude when changing direction.  Smart.
I went to the Belchertown State School today.. wandered around at dusk, got some thorns in me.  It's kind of like Skillman, equally dark history, equally sprawling property.  I'd like to go back and take pictures.  Met a funny guy who worked at Dunkin Donuts - he wanted me to buy him beer.  We are both nineteen.
But it's supposed to rain tomorrow, anyway.  So it goes.

I've been near and far from "home" lately... at the moment I'm here, in my kitchen... putting off work and packing.  Things are quiet, and I'm anticipating leaving this afternoon. 
I've been everywhere in the last few days... life is a beauty, and I'm thrilled about it all.
I'm declaring my div ii soon, I think.  I'm pretty sure it will be creative writing, photography, and ethnography.  But we'll see.

In New York, we met a guy on the street named Marshall [whose name I kept regrettably forgetting...] but he let me in on a few wise words regarding photographing and drawing people.  He showed me some of his art, and I thought it was decent.  The best part about it all was the subjects' looks and the inferred glances back from the artist.  Confidence, poise, etc.

Also, it seems that I am a very apparent Libra.  So says Marshall.  Heh.

=]

Ha!

I am nineteen.
Working at the Black Sheep, trying to get a lit paper done.  Tonight is my party. 
I'm relatively horrified.

So it goes!

quit smoking cigarettes

lots of work, fall sweaters, and sweet people.

I'm back and in good spirits.
Last night, I found a very friendly frog, and he was quite the riot with some friends.
In a few minutes, I am going to consume a deliciously unhealthy diner special... eggs and pancakes?  Mmm.

Classes are good.
Practice of Literary Journalism [I hope...], Ancient Epic, Power of the Novel, and Europe and the World [1500-1800]
My room is spacious and rather pretty.  I have a lot of work to do this weekend.
Life is a fun time.

Summer's done with.
I spent the night with some good friends, playing dangerously ninja hide-and-go-seek around the neighborhood, and dorking around on swing sets. 

It's all been good, I suppose.  I didn't do any photography, save candid polaroid pictures and a few on my digital camera here and there.  I painted one painting, which oddly enough, I'm actually quite fond of.  Read a handful of books... Jane Eyre, Harry Potter [yes], Handmaid's Tale, and this silly book I bought at Barnes and Noble two days ago called "I Just Want My Pants Back."  Guilty pleasure.
Survived a job and an internship.  Drank a lot of DD coffee.  Iced, and no sugar please.
I'm still on the fence about going back to school.  Nothing has been packed, my room here is a mess [and will probably stay that way until I permanently move out of the house], and I'm supposed to be heading out at the crack of dawn on Sunday.  Not to mention that it is September already.  What the hell, summer.  Where did you sneak off to?
I'm too awake from coffee and goofing around on Kelly's trampoline. 
I want to go on a bike ride.

I have the dregs of summer back at my feet - my internship and Macy's ended on Friday and Saturday, respectively.
Tricia and Dierdre wrote me a lovely note on the back of a Meatyard photograph, thanking me for all the work I had done.  Small gratitudes - especially because I don't ever remember mentioning that Meatyard is one of my favorite photographers. 
I think I'm going back into the city one more day because I have an extra ticket from Penn to New Brunswick.  On account of an unnecessary four hour commute on Friday.  Which left Bryan and I soaking wet and very iritated at the entire city of Newark and New Jersey Transit.

Today is... Sunday?  On Tuesday I'm driving back to Amherst with Kelly and Jill, and hopefully I'll look into buying a new bike at whatever that little hole in the wall bike shop is behind the new Fresh Side.  Umm..
Superbad is a hilarious guilty pleasure.  I should cut my hair so I can see again.
I leave in exactly two weeks.
askjdhfdskjghskjlghskjdhfgjk.

it. is. mine!
!!!!!!!

Rarely does a day go by at ICP where I do not want to throat punch one other specific intern.
That's all for now.

heh.
I'm staying home from work today.  Uh, again.  But I'm sick, so it's okay.  I'd rather not sneeze all over customers.

I'm not really sure if I want to go back to Hampshire.  I keep seeing every reason why not to, and the only reson why I actually am going back is because I can't see myself being motivated enough to pull myself out of what's comfortable and normal for me.  Albeit, I don't particularly enjoy it there [in fact, I get a large knot in my stomach every time I think about it] but I'd rather be doing something than nothing.  Like working retail, ugh.
Lately I've just been working... and sort of savoring every bit of time I get to have to myself.  I haven't painted, written, or photographed anything all summer.  Which is largely discouraging, and makes me feel like sort of a waste of space.  But I've been doing work for other people.  Fixing card catalogues and selling credit at 22% interest rates, or something ridiculous like that.
I was toying with the idea of transferring to Brown.  Maybe?
9 o'clock train tomorrow... sleep is necessary.  And then back to the card catalogue.  I have twenty hours to use in the ICP darkrooms - I wonder if I'll ever get around to that.
Hrmmm.

I'm back at ICP after a much needed five-day break from the daily grind.  Friends, driving, Rockaway Beach, Cat Power... mmm.
I got the grand tour of the ICP darkrooms and digital labs today.  Oh god.  But I've got a little pink card in tow that says I can use the facilities for twenty hours whenever I please. =]
So if anyone would like to model for me at some point, let me know.  That'd be fantastic.

Other than that, I'm in a great mood.  And jittery from coffee and cropping photographs. 
Ciao.