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NOTE: please do not take offense to this "modest proposal". it's a joke. seriously. and please excuse the fact that it's a very rough draft >_> we don't actually have to turn anything written in - it's just a speech. if i don't write something i'll forget all my major points, hence why i threw this together.
I. Introduction
Grabbing everything while in line at the buffet, stuffing their face with Pringles and ice cream while watching “The Biggest Loser”, eating Goldfish in Smith’s before even purchasing the bag, and causing higher taxes, more deaths, and starvation in Africa. The obesity epidemic is a growing problem in American society, with over 58 million Americans being classified as “overweight” and 40 million being classified as “obese”. Obesity causes a wide range of health problems such as heart disease and diabetes, costing Americans more in taxes to pay for health care. Some studies also support that obesity is genetic, meaning that future generations will continue to get fatter and fatter. So why not kill all the fat people now?
II. Narration
Not a day goes by when I don’t see a person who needs to lose at least 30 pounds. Whether I’m at the grocery store or the mall I am constantly surrounded (and sometimes squashed) by obese people. Even when I’m driving past an elementary school, I’m amazed at how obesity is becoming a huge problem in children. 27% of all children in 2001 were classified as obese, causing an increase in medical costs from $35 million to $129 million. The world would be a healthier and less crowded place to live if all obese people were eliminated. Taxes could be lowered because less people would require health care, people would live a happier and more productive life if forced to remain a healthy weight, and food that would have been consumed by greedy pigs could be sent to starving, impoverished families in Africa.
III. Confirmation
Killing off all obese people will help America (and the world) in many ways. Firstly, the eradication of all obese citizens would encourage people to exercise daily and eat properly. As of 2006, 140 million Americans over the age of 20 were recorded as “overweight” or “obese”. This statistic would drop dramatically if all the obese ones were killed immediately, because then the overweight people would desperately try to lose as much weight as possible to keep themselves alive, resulting in a healthier, thinner society. Also, if the obese population was eliminated and obesity was outlawed, following generations would have no obese people in it, causing that generation to have dramatically less health problems, and will also have to pay less in taxes because of obesity. In 2006, the cost of obesity was $114 million. If there was no obese population to deal with, this money could go to other things, like finding a cure for AIDS or dealing with world hunger.
IV. Refutation
My proposal might seem a bit extreme, or could even be considered “crazy”. What I plan to do is not crazy or unheard of – it’s needed and will greatly benefit society. Some might claim that obese people have no control of their problem – that it was “inherited” and they can do nothing to prevent it. Are obese people incapable of exercise? Are obese people incapable of closing their mouth to prevent food from entering? Are obese people incapable of choosing broccoli instead of a Twinkie? I think not. It is entirely in the hands of obese people to make wise eating decisions and to exercise daily, but they refuse to do so because there is no punishment for being fat. Others might say that this proposal could never occur because there will always be overweight humans. Another incorrect statement: If you were 10 pounds overweight and told that if you did not lose that 10 pounds you would die, would you not do everything in your power to lose that 10 pounds? I believe you would. If obese people are forced into a situation where they have to choose between losing weight to live or dying because they couldn’t stop eating junk food, majority of them will try their hardest to lose the weight.
V. Conclusion
Imagine a world with low taxes, fewer health problems, happier individuals, more productive workers, and more money to support schools and medical research. Such a society can be obtained if obese people are completely destroyed. If the obesity epidemic is not dealt with, it is estimated that 75% of Americans will be obese in 2015, leading to more deaths, higher taxes to pay for health care, and a huge waste of food that could be put to better use in Africa.
is it horrible that i enjoyed writing that? i made myself LOL a lot xD i won't be able to read it outloud without laughing!
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